Dear mkroopy, Thank you again for your time and response. Much much appreciated. I would like to start off, by giving you some more info! Which is definitely why I can identify and feel like you did in your past relationship. Which is that I have wasted about 3 yrz time trying to amend and fix and show my commitment to him, but really it was my guilt allowing him to behave 'not o.k.' i.e. coming home every night at 9:30pm saying its all work, never giving me access to see or read any of his e-mail or cell(work cell so I have no access at all!). I thought bc he stayed, that he was going to forgive me and work on our marriage and we could get thru it, and save our marriage. What I now feel...is that he was just waiting it out. I have to confess that I probably didn't give enough info regarding my indiscretion and my ex. I was so angry that he finally said yes to therapy when he found out we went to coffee, and the lady therapist acted like I was the biggest liar and cheat and worst wife ever, that I said I would stop talking to him, but I did not. I saw my ex a week later, and intimacy (sort of) occurred. Sort of...bc he lasted about 30sec. I met for a few more lunches and two more attempted intimacy moments, and my husband found out we were still talking. And I believe thats when he felt 'betrayed'. This was all about 5 month time period. His wife found texts in his cell, and she sent me a message and he never contacted me again. Which also made me feel like a big fool...bc I should have never contacted him again, even tho I got caught bf anything happened and when it was just a "e-mail affair".....because my ex had no problem at all immediately dropping contact with me when his wife found out....so they are happy now. I don't know, I guess my point is that my husband was going to leave in Aug of '09, and then...he didn't, for whatever reason. Which again, I turned into...."Oh, he loves me and wants to save our marriage, and work thru this!" So I allowed his behavior and went back to school with 3 toddlers and got my RN degree and passed my state boards in April and he left in June. So that is the full story, just didn't want you to think I was completely innocent...just stupid. But....After all that being said....I still think your 1st post hits the nail exactly on the head of what he is feeling and what he is going thru! Not only that, but your completely right about stringing me along. I already feel like I have been strung along for 3 yrz....and now, my family is so pissed at me for allowing the behavior for 3 yrz and my friends think I am too nice when he comes to visit the kids (he visits mon, wed, fri, sat, sun). He is nice as pie to me here, and acts all sad and tortured and guilty.....but once he leaves.....he ignores me the entire week and feels no need to talk or communicate with me, and I constantly say to him....you cannot have it both ways. A hubby and family on te weekend, and bachelor single guy during the week! Which means you have lost nothing. And feels to me and all around me...like he is string me along and making sure I do not move one from him...just in case. I think he wants to make sure that he never feels like he will not be able to come back if he wants. You know? Some weekends, I have met him at the door with the kids, and said, "be back at 5pm", shut the door, and been indifferent. He hated that and looked like he was gonna kill me. But I feel I might have to do this again (i keep moving ahead, and then moving back sometimes). I know your probably sick of me rambling, but a man's opinion is something that I do not have:0) and appreciate your time and listening and response....sincerely. I know that feeling of wasting years with your ex is sooooo frustrating and must have made you so angry!! It feels horrible to look back and realize you gave and gave for not just months....but Years! It's amazing how people change, and how much we learn as we get older. I thank you again for all your help. Truly:o)

Firstly, I really didnt mean to come off insenstive or anything of the sort. So I am truly sorry if I offended anyone. Secondly, I cant thank you enough for your responses. Oceanna - what you said really got to me. I really appreciate you taking the time to write that. So many of you definitely made a shift in my thinking. I am semi - new to home decorating and interior designing and I am kind of riding different waves to learn as much as I can from every angle so that blog was one path I took. I hope to write a retraction to the article within the next couple of days. From what I have gathered it seems that I am one of the youngest members on the forum which in this case was a little bit intimidating due to the harshness of some of the responses but on the other hand I am learning much more than I accepted I could from a forum. With the new year coming up I really am sorry if this offended or hurt anyone. It really wasn't my intention. I would like to take skypathys opinion and ask why people are here. And how long have forums been a help to people in need of decorating advice. Its incredible to see how much help the internet can be, especially these forums. Its amazing! Thank you for all your responses - I cant even express how nice it was to get them - even though some hurt a bit, but I guess I deserved it reading over the blog. Happy New Year

I'm 59, and been in menopause just 2.5 years. I've had health issues since I was 26, but after being diagnosed with fibromyalgia I had a naturopath tell me my body doesn't hold on to nutrients properly. He said I probably don't hold on to toxins which is good, but I have to take very high doses of supplements so as not to end up malnurished. That being said, one of the main nutrients that plays a role in every system of the body is magnesium, and since the soils are so depleted, it only stands to reason that we aren't getting it from the food we eat. And the RDAs are understated as well so by the time a person is middle-aged, most of us are severely malnurished. I've had horrific sleep issues over the years, and part of it due to having high cortisol levels, but also to the very low magnesium levels as well. Try upping your magnesium along with calcium, vitamin D3 and K2 and see if that doesn't help your sleep. It should also help lower your stress level. I'm wondering if your weird feeling isn't too much adrenaline coursing through your blood stream? That was one of my first symptoms when I started getting sick back in my mid 20s. That finally resolved when I started taking the amino acid 5-htp as it helps the adrenal glands which is where the excess adrenaline is coming from. You could be suffering from what the alternative health community calls adrenal fatigue. I think adrenal issues and the malnutrion is the core of my health problems, but I didn't know what was going on for over 20 years so I couldn't really deal with them till it was too late. Be careful taking too much magnesium at one time as it's a laxative. If you suffer from constipation, that is one symptom of low magnesium levels. Spread your doses out over the day with a 1:1 ratio of calcium. You want to also take vitamins D3 and K2 with it along with zinc on an empty stomach for best absorption. Soaking in epsom salts is a great way to increase your cellular magnesium level as well. Here are some links that you might find helpful: http://www.amazon.com/Adrenal-Fatigue-Century-Stress-Syndrome/dp/1890572152/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1423689283&sr=1-1&keywords=adrenal+fatigue http://www.wellnessresources.com/health/articles/magnesium_deficiency_common_in_post-menopausal_women/ http://www.ancient-minerals.com/magnesium-deficiency/symptoms-signs/

Ha, I started using Origins in my 20's for anti-aging! Of course it's partly marketing, but to me it makes perfect sense that it's easier and more effective to try to prevent wrinkles and aging skin than to try to treat already aged skin. I use a cleanser, exfoliator, brightening pads, serum, moisturizer (spf for daytime) and eye cream. The exfoliators and brightening pads are only used once or twice a week. These products are aimed at younger skin for protective benefits but not too rich as we're still prone to breakouts. Of course the majority of visible aging is due to other things, like sun exposure, poor nutrition, smoking, etc. Skincare products only do so much, but I can't deny that my skin looks much better when I use the products. I had one very fine line around my eyes that I noticed disappeared with consistent use of the products, and I haven't seen anymore in 7 years.