Interesting. Decorating and obsessing over it is something you do when everything is going ok in your life. I mean if your kid is sick, you are facing major health, financial or employment issues decorating isn't high up on the list. As one who just had emergency root canal surgery, I would be the first to say that health issues trump any other interests!

Lots of people with "free" re-fi $$$ who have been obsessing over which granite to buy or how many sinks they "need" in their kitchen may have different priorities as lots of properties across the nation go into foreclosure. Fueled by artificially low interest rates, liar loans, property that only goes up (as well as an abundance of HGTV type improvement/real estate shows) I think the nation has been in a home improvement frenzy. That will all change next year.

My interest in decorating waxes and wanes, I've always loved furniture and decorating but realize that those elements are only a small part of what makes up a true "home."

I read the material you posted. At your ripe age of 24, please sit still and just observe for the next ten years. Wisdom sometimes comes with age.

I hope you get no takers for your blog. You say you like/want controversy, get into politics...there are at least two parties that seem to be interested in more of it. Check 'em out.

Oh, and if your grandma didn't ask for an opinion from you about her decorating style, don't offer one.

I read your blog, lionstail, and I found it interesting that you harp on hormones, or lack of them as a starting point for decorating. Sorry, I don't agree with your hypothesis. You'll find as you grow and experience life that your opinions will change. I think you have highlighted a difference in the generations between you and your grandmother and the influence of commercializism.

Why people decorate is a complicated question, and why they don't is just as complicated. You might find it interesting to ask people here why they are here.

sky

I think it has far less to do with fluctuating hormones and more to do with time. Usually, though not always, when people hit midlife, there is a little more time for observation and introspection. There may also be a little more cash available to spruce up one's surroundings when college tuition payments and orthodontist bills are finally paid off.

Oprah recently did a show on a couple whose decorating style was "stuck in the '80's." She asked the attractive couple why they hadn't spruced up their master bedroom to be more in tune with the times. The camera panned on their 4 great looking teenage/college age kids. Well there it was, Oprah! They had likely been too preoccupied raising these children to care too much if their decor was outdated, or to have had the money to do much about it if they did. Johnny probably needed new soccer cleats every season, and Susie needed braces and a prom gown, etc..so they simply overlooked the geese and heart decor from when they were first married.

I don't think it's a very complicated issue. You're able to take stock of your surroundings and update them to suit you when you finally have time and money to do it. As opposed to its being a crisis, midlife is generally a time when there is a shift in priorities.

Ineresting thread and you are brave to ask for honest reactions to your article, Lionstail. Good for you!

Dismissing women's behavior as "hormones" is insulting to women of every age. It reminds me of doctors who don't listen to women but instead tell us our very real aches and pains are "all in your head." Women may be liberated to an extent in this country, but we still have a long way to go and if good change is to happen it will start with younger folks accepting and respecting women more.

Our society also discounts older people, and that is sad. Children don't have to agree with everything their parents think; they need to establish their own identities which are separate from their parents. But there is still a great deal to be learned from those who have travelled down a road where we have not yet gone.

Contrast our society and our Madison Avenue trend to celebrate youth (the big spenders) with the Asian countries where the elderly are revered for their wisdom. Native Americans used to respect their elders more as well.

A happy medium seems to be the best answer where everyone is valued, the young for their energy and enthusiasm, and the old for their wisdom and experience.

It would have been more interesting had you asked your mother and grandmother how they viewed things and made a sincere attempt to understand. You can learn a great deal from them that will save you a lot of pain in life. The article would have been great had you looked forward in your own life and tried to imagine how you might view things differently at different stages and why.

Look at the generation who lived through the Depression. They learned to appreciate what they had, to mend things, to darn socks, to buy quality and make things last, to do with less, to make things themselves, and to save money. These were, and still are very sound values.

Then along came television, constantly telling us that we're not okay unless we spend, spend, spend. We absolutely must have the latest and greatest everything. To sell their wares they inform us that if we don't buy our children everything they could possibly want, we're bad parents.

To compound this influence that is still very much running our world, when we're 20 or so and first out on our own we have nothing. We need everything from a couch to a kitchen table. We are in a justifiable "gimmie-gimmie" mode as we stock our first independent home. Fresh out of school or still in it, we're acutely aware of peer pressure and the need to be accepted, so if being trendy gets us acceptance, sign us up.

If we don't switch out of this mode, over the years we can easily get into a the habit of shopping for shopping's sake. It's a hard habit to break and it gets some people into a lot of trouble. Right now not only is our government in such drastic debt that our country is seriously threatened with bankruptcy, but the average American is more in debt and has less savings than ever. This is a recipe for disaster.

At age 50 a woman is liberated at last from decades of always having to put the needs of her children first. Much of her previous debt for braces and college for her children is probably paid off. She at last has a chance to live a bit for herself. If she wants to redecorate now that there's some money, still a good income and more time, good for her. Her friends will love her no matter how she decorates. She should enjoy herself and please herself if she can afford to do so. She's earned it.

As the years roll by, we can find ourselves surrounded by junk we don't need and are tired of dusting or moving from house to house. We also have some treasured comfy "old friend" pieces. Our needs are far more simple than during the years when we were raising a family. At some point we may turn to a downsizing mode to make life easier. We may sell it, donate it, or give it to our children. We can't take it with us.

Once we retire money is likely scarce without a working income, and we want to make it last so that we don't become a burden on our family. An 80 year old woman knows exactly who she is and what's important in life. She doesn't need to impress anyone by being trendy. She has no need to buy new when the old works perfectly well. She can enjoy her home for its familiar comforts, and if she has money she can spend it on her children and grandchildren.

I hope that helps to give you another perspective.

Bravo Oceanna, exactly how I feel. What a great response. Thank you for taking the time to write it.

really weak blog; from what I gathered, it's a pretext for a patio furniture website and an underhanded way of spamming.

Second Oceana. A good post which says a great deal...tis' called life. I love interior decorating. But as time goes on, the cost of all and my lifestyle changes, direct interest towards what is loved and what I am capable of accomplishing.

I live in one of the oldest areas of my city. A mix of custom homes with styles throughout the century. Huge mansions and small cottages. Many of the owners are 70 and older. It has been interesting going to estate sales. The homes on the outside are beautiful with their historic detail and full gardens. The inside is a totally different story. Everything is trapped in the 70s, 80s.

Seeing these homes has given me thought as to what my home will look like 10 plus years from now. And memories of my mother's home. Life, not harmones, gives us new and ever changing responsibilites as well as capabilities. The lady next door to me is 94. Her home is as it was from years ago and sparce. But it remains with many memories and an ease for her to get around, maintain a comfortable home and continue to live a simple, daily life. Would I change it if it were mine? Yes. But for her this is what she loves and needs. Unless we have maids/butlers, our homes become a safe haven as we get older, rather than a decorator's delight. We need what is known and comfortable. Buying new art, changing furniture location, remodeling the kitchen/bath become far less of a priority.

My daughter has gotten many of my pieces of furiture and decorator items. I would never consider using them as she has, nor decorate my home as she does. Harmones? Nope. Her home is what she loves and will always be the same unique environment. She always welcomes help and suggestions. But this goes only so far with her additions which I just wouldn't include. I would never intrude on what makes her happy to be around.

Oceanna and Emagineer: Great Posts.

My mother just passed this week at the age of 84 and was self sufficient. I am 55.

What seems to happen as we grow into our elder years is that material things mean less. Comfort means more. The struggle to survive on social security, and small IRA contributions is harder due to higher co-pays for medical care when needed frequently. The elderly have a very hard time surviving on their limited means.

I find Lionstail blog is largely insensitive but it is interesting to see things through the eyes of one 24 yr old (particularly about hormones). Luckily, my 24 yr old niece has been brought up to be a lot more sensitive and sensible than Lionstail. She has had the gift of having 2 grandparents until the age of 92 and 84.

I remember at the age of 24 thinking that my mother's furnishings were horrible. I would never use her things in my apartments. Then as I grew into my 40's I started asking her for some of those horrible pieces of furnishings as I started to decorate my first bought home.
I loved the traditionalism and the fact they had history.

Hormones has nothing to do with decorating. It's a hobby and talent. Our generation of 50 is very different than our parents generation of 50. We are more physically active which keeps us more active sexually. We look better than our parents did at 50. Does she really think sex ends at 50? It just didn't start in elementary school as it does now.

Jerseygirl, I'm sorry to read of your Mom's death. Even when a death is to be expected (age or illness), it's still a blow. I miss Mum at the strangest times, like reading this thread. I'm thinking of you!

IMHO, that was a sad blog. Sheesh! There is more to life than keeping up with never ending/ever changing trends.

Oceanna and Emagineer ~ I enjoyed both of your posts.

JerseyGirl ~ Enjoyed your post as well. I'm sorry for the loss of your mother.

DH and I live simply and are paring down even more. Not that we won't keep favorite things and decorate with them, but not have so much 'stuff' around. A post by Aunt Jen about wabi sabi has inspired me even more to live a simpler life and not care about trends or keeping up with the Joneses. We want to be comfortable, happy, and not in debt. Our home is paid for, our vehicles are paid for. We try to live each day as it comes and enjoy the simple beauty that surrounds us. Here is a line I read today: Living a wabi sabi life means letting go of the stress of competition, relentless achievement, and replacing them with a willingness to let life find its own pace.

I am post-menopausal. I still enjoy decorating, and living my life, I'm just not into keeping up appearances to please others.

FlowerLady

Oceanna, I loved your post, especially this line:

A happy medium seems to be the best answer where everyone is valued, the young for their energy and enthusiasm, and the old for their wisdom and experience.

Thank you for taking the time to craft such a great response.

My stars....I read both posts on the blog. Hormones have nothing to do with decorating or decorating skills! I still have a lot of the same pieces of furniture I purchased 26yrs ago when we first married. Hormones have changed more than once; I have not only aged, but had three children and I'm now 47yrs old. My taste has not changed all that much. I do change colors now and then, (bedding and fabric/upholstered choices) keeping the wood pieces but I don't change things up nearly as often as my hormones have changed over the years.

Your line "There is, of course, the flip side of all this.. and we have the women who hit 50 and just can't seem to make colors match anymore. Maybe the husband isn't as invogorating as he used to be and sex appeal just fades out of the picture, almost promoting the mis-matched carpet and curtains."

If someone can't match colors at 50, they couldn't match them at 30 either. Viagra or not, sex happens more often than you think or want to believe with those in the 50's, 60's and 70's. Bad sex does not equal bad color choices. On the other hand, DH would be happy to hear that good sex equals good color choices since we get so many compliments on our home. :D

Great posts oceana, emagineer and jerseygirl (sorry to hear about your mother).

Looks like you have a lot to learn, liontail - like any 24yr old.

Signed, A Mother with a 24yr old DD

When our kids were in high school, junior high school and elementary school, respectively, we decided since we had just remodeled and redecorated to put the house on the market and move to a neighborhood which would be more convenient for our school schedules, about to change.

The realtor remarked as he walked out to the backyard. "Your house is the most beautiful in this neighborhood, you have it decorated so well, your front yard has fantastic curb appeal but here in the back, you have a basketball goal, no grass, it has been trampled down by kids, there is a trail from one side of the yard to the other where your collie walks, why did you not keep the back as pretty as the rest?"

My reply, "I was raising kids, not grass..... I knew where my kids were and all the neighbors' kids, can you say the same about yours?"

mitch, had the same reaction.

Oceanna, LOVE your response. Very insightful.

jerseygirl, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom almost five years ago. It is just a whole in your heart that never closes. Take care.

About the blog, I'm with mitchdesj and flyleft. A unique way of spamming.

Doesn't work very well...I didn't click on the links. ;)

I found this line most disturbing:

With age, and the slowing down of hormones (which I am quite aware is incorrect scientific terminology, but I'm sure as hell not a doctor, scientist, or biology freak)

This suggests a pride in being ignorant about basic biology. The information is easy to get, and making up theories with no basis makes for annoying blogging.

At least an interesting thread has come of it.

Here is a link that might be useful: Hormone effects at Wikipedia

I don't for one second believe that making decorating choices has *anything* to do with hormones or any mid-life crisis. It's about what you like or don't like at *any* given age, be it 24 or 54. I've always loved antiques and traditional style. When I first married(1962), Mom gave me her and Dad's old Mahogany bedroom 'suite', as she called it. All the pieces matched, and it's style was called Georgian. Brass oval hinges were the prevelent style for this type of furniture. I loved that stuff, but DH at the time wanted something new, and eventually it was given to a friend in favor of new and modern 'blonde' furniture. Back then, I wanted to make my DH happy, so all was well. Today, it's a different story as i'm single and choose what *I* want. LOL

I still love traditional and antiques, or some call it classic styling. You just can't go wrong with styles that have been around since 'time began'! You may feel a pull toward another direction, but most of the friends that I know who once had modern, are now back to good, 'ol traditional. ;o)

Jerseygirl_1, I'm so sorry about your mother.

I agree with what the others have said. It's sad that in this 21st century there are still young women who believe that homones affect our skills. Let hope that lionstail never applies for a job with a lot of responsibility only to be rejected not for her ability but because she has those pesky hormones and thus might be too "emotional" for the job.

A 24 year old's opinions on midlife are like a 12 year old's opinions on sex.

You folks are absolutely feeding the beast here...

Thank you for your kind comments, everyone. I enjoyed the posts here too.

Jerseygirl, I'm so sorry about the passing of your mother. Nobody else in life has as much influence over us. May your heart heal soon, and may you always enjoy fond and happy memories.

Flyleft, maybe it's a hit and run?

Oceana, you may be right about the hit and run. I don't post often, but my age saw this thread with a lack of "life experience" by the original poster.

Yogacat...your comment was great.

Jersey Girl, my heart goes out to you. I still miss my mom and think of her wise ways and zest for life after many years.

Flyleft, you are most likely correct.

Thank you all for all your condolences.

This is very hard.

My deepest apologies for "feeding the beast" but I had to come out of lurkdom to say:

There is a serious flaw in the OP's thesis that the OP's taste is good and Grandma's taste is bad. Guess what. Assuming that the OP's self-proclaimed "good taste" is for funky retro stuff beloved by the 20-something generation, Grandma AND Mom have already been there and done that! In the prime of their decorating lives! And they have now moved on! Therefore, the OP's taste is yesterday's news! Grandma AND Mom have left you in the dust.

(Just kidding--sort of). Have a good day.

Firstly,
I really didnt mean to come off insenstive or anything of the sort. So I am truly sorry if I offended anyone.
Secondly,
I cant thank you enough for your responses. Oceanna - what you said really got to me. I really appreciate you taking the time to write that.
So many of you definitely made a shift in my thinking. I am semi - new to home decorating and interior designing and I am kind of riding different waves to learn as much as I can from every angle so that blog was one path I took. I hope to write a retraction to the article within the next couple of days.
From what I have gathered it seems that I am one of the youngest members on the forum which in this case was a little bit intimidating due to the harshness of some of the responses but on the other hand I am learning much more than I accepted I could from a forum.
With the new year coming up I really am sorry if this offended or hurt anyone. It really wasn't my intention.

I would like to take skypathys opinion and ask why people are here. And how long have forums been a help to people in need of decorating advice. Its incredible to see how much help the internet can be, especially these forums. Its amazing!
Thank you for all your responses - I cant even express how nice it was to get them - even though some hurt a bit, but I guess I deserved it reading over the blog.
Happy New Year

Thanks for having the courage to write back, it's a very rare thing.

lionstail, you have me curious. What is the correlation of the links to the patio furniture sites and your blog? I have never seen advertising on any personal blogs. No offense, but that is why I thought you were spamming.

Yep, that is an unresolved question for me too. Lots of folks begin blogs now as a way to make money off links. And trying to generate traffic by posting an inflammatory statement and spamming it on at least one related website (which is what you've done, yes?) is a common blog-money-making method. Maybe you have seen the error of your ways and grown up a bit? Blogs expose you, for better or worse...