I tend to (mistakenly, I think) focus on how much my mother and I are different, but I think it's because we live in the same city, so I am around her often. Sometimes I think absence with occasional visits would be better for my perspective of her. :-) Not that she's mean or anything, just because I tend to focus on the negatives. We don't have anywhere near the same taste in clothing or shoes, or home decor, for that matter. She's more "country/casual", and I prefer elegant and sophisticated. We both love color - I'm sure I inherited that from her, and I'm grateful everyday for that. Naturally though, we both love *different* colors. She goes for bright pinks, blues and wild patterns, I go more for greens, yellows and deep reds. It's hard to shop with her for anything, because odds are, what I like, she won't, and vice versa. She's a morning person - I'm a night person. If she didn't live with my father, she'd be a total neat freak, but there's no keeping things neat with him around. I'm more relaxed about clutter. I like things picked up, but a few things scattered here and there aren't going to send me running for the trash can. I do have an obsession/compulsion with drawers, cupboard/closet doors, and chairs or anything that belongs "pushed in" - I absolutely cannot *stand* to see them left open, and must close them immediately when they aren't in use. I probably get that from her as well. Sometimes it's a good thing (there are never any drawers or cupboard doors left open at my house, nor are chairs ever left pushed out from the table or desks), but sometimes it's a curse (I have to practically sit on my hands at my mother-in-law's house to keep from shutting her kitchen cupboard doors when she leaves them open, which is often). I think it amuses my co-workers that I always push in a certain drawer that has a tendancy to slide out just a little as I go past, and I have tape on a file drawer that won't stay closed behind my desk. :-) My mom loves to shop, loves a bargain, and is one of those people who will buy something just because it was "only two dollars!" I hate to shop, and do so as little as possible - when I need something, I am happy if there is a sale, but I don't worry about it if there's not (I just don't buy it if I can't afford it, making due with what I have). Mom loves clothes, and has three closets full - I have one closet full, and won't buy more until absolutely forced to. Mom loves people, and loves being in the thick of things. I hate crowds, and am much more introverted. Mom loves to be running all the time, I prefer to have some "down time" to watch TV, read, and just relax at home. Of course, there is the obvious - I *look* a lot like my mom, to the point that people always ask if we're sisters when we're out and about together. And we both love crafts (different ones, of course). We both love gardening. I love to cook, she cooks merely to eat. So no, I'm not really like my mother much at all, I just inherited some really good traits from her (probably some bad ones too, but no sense in dwelling on those!).

Jane, The "Fluffy" dumplings are easy to make from scratch. I grew up on Biscuit Dumplings but prefer homemade better. Here are the recipes that I use. One has some bread and parsley in them, they are still light, but with a little texture. Home Cookin Chapter: Recipes From Thibeault's Table ========================== ------------------------------------- 1 1/2 cups flour 1 Tablespoons baking powder 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 tablespoons shortening(butter/margarine or crisco 3/4 to 1 cup of milk Mix dry ingredients and cut in shortening. Add enough milk to make a soft wet dough. Drop by tablespoon on to the top of stew and cover and simmer on low for about 15 minutes. -------------------------------------- -------------------------------------- 2 cups flour 3 Tablespoons butter 3/4 teaspoon salt pinch of baking powder Milk Mix dry ingredients and cut in butter. Add enough milk to make a soft dough. Knead for a minute until smooth and let sit for 1/2 hour. Roll out dough to desired thickness. Dough should be on the thin side. Cut into 1/2 inch strips, 1 1/2 to 2 inches long. Drop into boiling stew and simmer for 15 to 20 minutes or until noodles are cooked. -------------------------------------- ======================= 1/2 cup chopped fresh parsley 2 slices white bread, quartered 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking powder 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/2 cup milk 4 tablespoons butter, melted Combine parsley and bread in processor; whirl until medium size crumbs. Add 1 1/4 cups flour, baking powder, and salt; process just until combined. Add 1/2 cup milk and butter; process using on-off pulses just until blended. 5 Drop mounded tablespoons of dumpling mixture into stew.

Hello friends, I'm chiming in just now after a slight absence and cannot resist tossing in my two cents worth on this topic, as I've had quite a similar experience. Some time ago my mother-in-law gave herself a wonderful birthday present, in that she bought all new everything for the boudoir, down to and including new carpeting, and I said, "Way to go, Rosemary, you and Johnnie deserve this treat!" She had a couple of old sheets that she earmarked for the church's charity drive but I wheedled them away for use in my own bedroom. One set, which I believe was Wamsutta, was like the silky ones your mother-in-law has, and the they were designed by Yves St. Lawrence, in awesome pinks and purples. The colors nothwithstanding, those elderly, well-worn and washed, and much beloved sheets were pure perfection to my husband and me. The lovely smoothness of that old bedding transported us into the sleep of the angels. I promise, we NEVER noticed the pink and purple designs, and we slept on them for another 20 years until they could no longer manage to hold together in one piece. Oh! Holy cow, I just came out of my reverie and realized you had asked a question! Mea culpa! My bad! Here's my suggestion for silky sheets, or at least for as close we can come these days: Buy 100% Egyptian Cotton in a reasonably good thread count, like 300, 400, 500. I'm now a retired senior with rather thin, frail skin, which I feel warrants the smoothest, most silky bedding I can afford. And I buy my Egyptian cotton sheet sets from Penney's, when they go on sale twice a year. And they last forever, well, I'm still using them 8 years later! I have 3 sets and just rotate. Give them a whirl; they're quite reasonable on sale, and enjoy! Kaye

I wonder if your ex is not putting your daughter up to the things that she is saying. She pretty much just gave me an ultimatum that if I don't end my relationship with "some girl" that her and my relationship is in jeopardy The "some girl" comment sounds very much like the "you look like you're 16" comment that my (30 year old) sisters (6 year old) step daughter made when she (sister) got serious with "dad". It was something that SDs mom had said (trying to imply that she was too young to be with him). There is a lot of poisoning that goes on (whether intentional or not) when people split up. It seems like sometimes, even if mom moves on, she's still not willing to see dad do the same. You need to (gently) find out if the ultimatum (end it or lose me) is coming from your daughter or your ex. When my DH's ex found out that I wasn't going anywhere, she cut off all contact between DH and his two children. He hasn't seen or spoken with them in three and a half years. Is there any chance your daughter believes something like this could happen? Is there any chance that mom is telling her things like, if your dad marries her, he won't have time for you, or he'll have a new family and won't want you anymore...or you're not going to go stay with him if that 'girl' is living with him...etc.? Good Luck!! Just one other thing I'd like to comment on... Dyans World...you say My father didnt want to take care of me and left my mother, my father married someone else and had other kids, my father sucked. BUT my step daddy was the best thing that ever happened to me to this day he will always be my daddy and the bio can jump in a lake. Please know that I am saying this in the most heart felt way, and I mean no disrespect to your mother or 'daddy'... I don't know how old you were when your parents separated...but I know that for the past three and a half years my husbands ex has been telling his children (and anyone else who will listen) that he "didn't want them", that he "abandoned" them, even that he abused them. She has told them so many lies that these children, who used to crawl up on his lap and yell "Daddy! Daddy!" whenever they saw him, are now afraid of him, even though they wouldn't recognize him now if they saw him. (They were 1.5 and 3.5 when they were last together.) Mommy has remarried. She has the children calling her husband "Daddy" and refering to my husband, their bio father, by his first name, or as "Bad Daddy" (told to a therapist by daughter a year ago). I am fairly certain that she also tells them that it is my fault that he doesn't want to be with them, because we have a baby (their little brother, that they have never met). I cannot express to you the pain and sorrow, the depth of mourning that my husband has gone through, and still goes through when he thinks of his two children. They are so close to us, only five minutes away, yet they could as easily be in another country. We do not even know what they look like. I have cried, both with my husband, and for him, for the pain that he faces every day, and because of the knowledge of what his children, whom he loves very much, are being raised to think of him. We have been fighting, through the lawyers, for three and a half years, with no success, because we cannot give up, but in my heart I know that if we don't get to reestablish the relationship in the next five years, they will be lost to us. They are being so thoroughly poisoned against their dad. He has been vilified... that if they reach the age where they can tell the courts whether or not they want to go (around 12 or 13) before they get to know the loving, wonderful man that their father really is, they will never get to know him, and we will lose them forever. I mean no disrespect to your mom. And I'm not trying to downplay the significant role of the Daddy who raised you along side your mother, but sometimes things aren't what they seem. If you haven't heard your bio dad's side, from him, then can I please encourage you to try to contact him? You may find that this stranger, who left so long ago, has loved you and thought of you and mourned the loss of your relationship all this time. If that's true, try not to feel that he gave up on you...the courts are so biased against fathers...I know that it is such an emotionally draining battle...every letter from the lawyer is like a knife in the heart, when they tell you that you cannot see your children, and many people say, "Just let go" "Move on" or tell them that if they keep fighting for access they're just causing more turmoil for their kids "they're better off, if you just leave it alone" "they've adjusted to their new life" "you'll only upset them more". My husbands ex took the children and left, got a new beau, married him, and is trying to make her new "perfect family" with him, and writing out the past...and my husband with it. If you go and find your dad, you will never have the relationship you could have had, if you'd grown up with him in your life...the memories of our childhoods impact our bonds...but you still have the option to build a relationship from this point on. Somewhere out there, there may be a man who loves you and misses you, to this day. Kind thoughts. Verena