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OT--I am devastated by the loss of Abigail

16 years ago

Miss Abigail Chaney the Cat

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Abigail died in the street yesterday afternoon. She was my precious daughter, my little black chile. By age two months she was far more important than more important glass top on the coffee table that she cracked when she jumped into the dozen red roses in the gold imari vase. She was more important than all of the furniture, and I love her scratch marks on the foot of the bed and the top of the bed.

Ab was precious to my life and a joy to my life, and I told her almost every day. She loved life, and was a happy cat. She was delightfully loud, and shed stand in the doorway to wake me up to go out most mornings. If I didnÂt answer, "All RIGHT !" after awhile, sheÂd get on the bed and yell, and if I still didnÂt get up, sheÂd get on my back and face down toward the back of my head and yell. But if I said kitty, kitty when she was in the doorway, sheÂd jump on the bed and snuggle with her back to my chest and the back of her head against my mouth. For hours until I woke up, at least usually. But when I slept too long sheÂd get out of the bed and wait hours before sheÂd yell at the doorway again.

When Ab wanted to come in, she yelled. I could hear her at the back door, and I could hear her at the front door. I couldnÂt bring myself to keep her inside. When she got out the first time with Tupelo, she was so happy. She ran and explored.

Ab would sometime wait to come in while she napped in the croton pot to the right of the front door. With the croton in the pot and then after the croton died in the cold. the front. She grew for the first few months on special newborn kitty chow, a high fat diet. I remember the first time she smelled TOONA. She looked startled. And then lunged. SheÂd join me on the counter when I opened Tuna. SheÂd lick the juice before I put down the paper plate. When her brother,Carter was lost, Abigail and Tupelo left a third of the tuna on the plate for Carter for months.

Mr. Carter, all 16 pounds of him taught Abby to play chase. Carter would run halfway across the room and wait for Abby to almost catch up before running to the other side of the room, where heÂd wait at the wall for Abby to catch him. Then Abby would run, and Carter would wait to run after her, usually running gently, sometime knocking her over with one of his feet as he passed her. Then theyÂd wrestle, with Carter at 16 pounds and Abby whose whole body fit into the palm of my hand.

Carter and Tupelo loved Miss Ab. The first time they saw her, on the brown carpet in the living room, they both looked shocked, these two enormous cats. The next day they were both licking her at the same time. She was their sister.

Ab was taken from her mother too young, and she sucked on my neck for months and sometimes whined. She slept under the cover, and loved to play "IÂm under the cover.Â" Miss Ab loved the newspaper and joined me at the kitchen table. She got under the newspaper and kicked upward. She loved the sound of the newspaper being crumpled on her and gradually would get calmer and calmer with the newspaper being rubbed against her as she lay with her eyes closed.

Ab was a joy to my life, and I loved everything about her. I loved all her colors, her blue whiskers on one side and her black whiskers on the other side. You are so PRETTY, Miss Ab, I told her daily. I loved Miss AbÂs smell. She was shiny, and her fur was soft and silky, even as she got older.

Ab bounded out the back door in the mornings, returning to the door ten minutes later. SheÂd run in and get petted, then sheÂd squirm to get down and eat breakfast. Then out the door again, back in a few minutes for a nap. Then in and out during the day.

The horror of finding her in the street. Surely thatÂs not Ab. A U turn, walking up to her.

Ab would completely relax in my arms. I could put her head on her chest and pull her to me. Yesterday in the wee hours of the morning, Ab snuggled against me, and I brought her to my face, my mouth on the back of her head, and we slept that way for hours, as we did so many times before, with Tups at my back or feet. Tups doesnÂt like my arm on him while he sleeps, but itÂs OK with Miss Ab. IÂd have my hand under Miss Ab, and when I turned over, I brought Miss Ab with me. She was totally relaxed and didnÂt stiffen, just went with the flow as though she was still asleep.

When I put my ear next to Miss Ab, IÂd hear her purr. She loved her papa and loved it when her papa would join her outside.

I couldnÂt make Abigail into a house cat. The first time she got out, she was so happy to see the world. And every morning she bounded out as though it were always a world of wonder. Miss Ab was a joy to my life, and she was a joy in her own life. She loved life and brought happiness to those around her, people and cats and a dog, Little white dog, running through the house with Miss Ab behind him and then running through in the opposite direction with Ab just ahead of him.

She was my beautiful black and white and tan and orange cat. She was what the word beautiful cat is all about. She loved to collapse on the carpet and stretch out so I could rub her belly from back legs to chin with both hands.

I often reminded Miss Ab of the time when I met her. She was tiny and screaming her head off when Melanie handed her to me. When Ab touched my forearm she stopped screaming and relaxed. I had her on my arm for 30 minutes and told Melanie that I just couldnÂt take another cat, and she said ThatÂs fine. When I handed her back to Melanie, Ab instantly started screaming hysterically again. I put her back on my arm, and she instantly relaxed and hushed. I said, Maybe we could try it 24 hours and see how she does. Carter and Tupelo were shocked at the tiny black and white and tan and orange ball in front of them. The next morning they were licking her, and she had found a home.

Yesterday afternoon, in from the street as Abigail lay lifeless on the kitchen table, Tupelo licked Miss AbÂs behind and then licked her tail. Mr. Tupelo was distraught. I held Miss Ab for hours in the same position I have held her for hours before, against my chest with her back feet in my hands, and sometime only her back left foot in my left hand, one of her favorite positions. And my mouth at her head. Ab liked to be kissed on her head and the nose. She never turned away. She liked it when I cupped her whole face, nose and all. She was nurtured in those moments. I was her mama and her papa, and she was always forgiven without asking for it.

I told Miss Ab every day that she is a joy to my life and is so precious. Her whole life was a pleasure to me. Some times sheÂd just run into the house yelling to be cuddled and hush as she was swept up against my chest and her body relaxed. In a minute she was outside again.. She was loved, she was so loved. She was not reserved or hesitant. Abby was love with gusto and no reserve. Abby brought joy to my life each morning and during the day. Her whole life was precious, and I told her every day.


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