Tina, I'm sincerely sorry for what you've been going through, it sounds like you have had ALOT on your plate. If the saying is true that "you don't get more than you can handle" well then someone up there thinks you're Superwoman! I would not worry so much about bad talk, it's bound to happen here no matter how nice you are or how many friends you make. All it takes is getting one wrong person mad and that's it. The anonymity of the internet and the inability to read attitude and tone in emails can contribute to this, unfortunately. But this is when your reputation should come in to save you. If you know you have made nothing but great trades, then those mean words should roll right off your back because the truth will come out in the end and everyone will realize those mean words were just hot air. If, however, you haven't, for whatever reason (and we are all human), then really, you need to make it right. Now, no one likes to replace plants (I know I grumbled when I had to replace two last year, and I am sure my dear trader that recently had to replace a lost package was not too happy with having to replace FIVE named hostas for me), but that is what happens when you enter into a trade agreement and you want to build/sustain a quality reputation. If a package is lost, or damaged, or the plants die in transit, I 100% stand behind my trades and would replace in a heartbeat if notified, and I'd like to think the rest of the people I trade with would too. I hope this is not coming across like a lecture, I'm not meaning for it to. I've been trading on various sites since 1999 and like you have had over 500 trades, many of them with repeat traders who know the quality packages I send. My philosophy has always been this - send a package that you yourself would LOVE to be on the receiving end of. If you wouldn't, well then the person you're sending it to probably wouldn't either.

M~ I live in Greenville not far from Carol. I have a few you have. Now, I do NOT water my roses nearly as much as some of the folks here, maybe that would make a difference, but probaby not since age seems to be key. Duchesse de Brabant: Mine is at least 7-9 years old and max size is 5 x 5 (if that) I have never had to prune her other than dead wood. She is amazing...what is more amazing is that someone on this post reported her to be a monster....Mine came from Rosesunlimited so maybe I have a smaller version? If mine were 8x8 I couldnt use the driveway!! She is in full sun and blooms alllll summer for me so I know she is happy. Fellemberg: Mine is at least 6 years old and still 4x4. Not in the best soil, I suppose others may say he gets much bigger. I think I have seen him trained on a pillar which ended up being a 7' tall x about 4' specimin. Mine is just left to bush form and is pretty that way. Mostly only rain water for him. Blush Noisette (keep in mind that Charleston is the life blood for a Noisette so YMMV!!) Mine is again, not in the best soil, only gets rainwater (except in drought) and mine is probably 6' tall by 8' wide. I do trim this Noisette back each spring because I find she blooms more if I do (everyone likes a good haircut, right?). This rose did not have much fragrance the first 3 years, in year 4 she began perfuming the yard every day....even from 15' away. I would never be without this rose. Mrs. Dudley Cross: Mine is in soil that is ammended but the clay around it is dreadful. She has stayed compact at 5 years old around 4x4. Last year she put on stellar growth so this year she may take off...we will see. I expect this rose to get much bigger. She is teaching me patience. Cl. Pinkie: Mine grows against a fence. I never touch her. I let her weep over on top of old canes which eventually die but never disease. She is a biggun' at 9' x 12' and maybe a bit more. LOVE this rose. My sons go under her weeping (nearly thornless) branches and have a forte underneath. Its just like a tent to them and since I dont spray...I let them enjoy their hideout. :o) I have been working on a graduate degree for the last....well FOREVER...but that ends this spring!! I am glad to have the time to be back in the garden and with my roses. You can contact me anytime if you have a question about SC roses. I know we get colder than you but I may be able to at least talk about roses with some age on them and BS. I don't spray my garden with chemicals so I can give you an idea of what will survive without chemical intervention (at least Upstate style) Ronda

Pixie...you make a good point on the Pinterest side...it was more visual and with a lot of interiors to give a sense of style...but I did include a 17 different pictures/plans of old houses (although no farmhouses until this week, as pictures of old farmhouses that are 'unmuddled' were hard to come by on the web). I did give him a rather long list of prioritized architectural 'requirements' (on the first day...I'll upload those to the same site that is hosting all the plans) and the absolute and high priority items here. These were my 'absolutes' A. Add collar ties to attic joists B. Pull down attic access to use attic for storage C. Add attic ventilation E. 220v electric in basement for Euro Washer F. Shore up cracked main beam & replace rusty supports H. Add support alongside basement stairs I. Get rid of seepage in basement corner J. Replace missing joist cross braces in basement . Install full code compliant bathroom (gutted right now) N. Better heat dissipation upstairs O. Room for my DR table (seats 10) P. Add heat to DR Q. Fix side porch gutter/gap R. Keep any exterior work visually in the style of the period (mid-late 20s) S. More storage for my car stuff (temp controlled) T. More storage for tools & yard furniture U. Keep Gas for Dryer & Stove V. Retain as much original HWF as possible on 2nd floor W. Re-add HWF on first floor (prefer old growth) X. Replace existing Oil Boiler with less noisy Gas Boiler Y. Get rid of remaining cat smell Z. Rewire house and bring 220v into house AA. Add insulation BB. New Hot Water Heating system CC. Replace rusted waster/water/boiler pipes DD. Ensure plumbing lines are run to avoid freezing EE. Replace missing joists under bathtub FF. Remove excess vent piping in kitchen GG. Keep wall between Kitch/LR/DR HH. Have fully functioning kitchen again II. Double door opening from LR to DR JJ. Better air flow on first floor LL. Replace or shore up side entry MM. Less highway noise NN. Keep and strip all original woodwork PP. Shady space for hammock (stand or tree) QQ. Easy access to water outside RR. Block access to path from driveway SS. Remove Dead Tree in front yard High Priority A. Significantly reduce road noise in Master Bedroom B. Up to code deck E. Use deck as outdoor living space (big enough for dinner for 8-10, hammock) G. Place to store my wine glasses, linen and platter collection (DR hutch) H. Re-add Chair rail or wainscoting in DR I. Get rid of calcimine paint in DR J. Fix dark plaster spot (and source) in DR ceiling K. Somewhere to store garbage/recycling bins L. Keep wood gutters M. Ensure drains run far enough away from house N. Repaint trim O. Covered Parking for 2 cars P. First floor coat closet Q. Period appropriate lighting (no cans) R. Install crown molding S. No skylights T. Replace stopgap PEX and old plumbing with copper U. Keep existing radiators V. Plug any cracks/holes in foundation X. Take advantage of the park view Y. Better counterspace in the kitchen (currently 5 windows/doors in kitchen that impact counterspace) Z. Vintage wood cabinets AA. O'Keefe and Merritt 40" vintage stove BB. Farmhouse sink CC. Vintage kitchen hardware DD. Extend kitchen cabinets to ceiling EE. oven that fits 1/2 sheet pans FF. Good ventilation in kitchen GG. Permanently cap kitchen vent in chimney (if chimney not removed) II. Good use of corner kitchen cabinet space JJ. Place for recycling container KK. Gorgeous Vent Hood MM. More light in Kitchen OO. Install HWF in kitchen PP. More light in LR QQ. Add Fireplace RR. Place for couch in morning sun SS. Add Chimney Cap (if chimney not removed) TT. Shore up mortar and gap between chimney & roof (if chimney not removed) VV. In side entry, add heat and/or address plethora of cold air seepage WW. Reduce water runoff from street into sidewalk/yard XX. More electric outlets outside YY. Stereo speakers outside ZZ. Make backyard more level and fill in old fish pond AAA.Dog enclosure (physical or electronic) CCC.Install wider and level walking path between front walk, side door and basement entry DDD.Try to retain stone walls wherever possible Medium (not all, but the key ones) A. 3rd bedroom B. Add formal entryway C. Replace all MDF trim This post was edited by navi_jen on Tue, Aug 5, 14 at 10:41

DS moved out. DD got her apartment & is nearly moved out. I'm buying paint today so I can paint the room this weekend. SD has mumbled goodnight to me twice this week & that is the extent of it. It's actually been a bit emotional for me... all of MY kids have left & even though I have DGS still, I'm sad... I guess this might be what they are talking about with "empty nest" syndrome? At least there hasn't been any talk over who gets the room. I told DH on Sunday, that when all the kids move out, I will finally have a room for my exercise equipment. Then, after he found out my daughter got her apartment, I told him that when my daughter moves out, I'm gonna move DGS's stuff to that room because I'm tired of tripping over his toys.. because his room is so small. & mentioned my bike & treadmill will go in the smaller room. He didn't say a word, but he sorta looked like he wanted to... then said, ok. He is well aware of how SD is with me so he probably figures it's pointless to argue over it? I don't know... and I don't care. It's not an issue & I'm happy to have peace. In reading Yabbers recent post to JNM... and hearing about how bad things are there... and with me... and with pseudo... and with others... maybe it's just unrealistic to think we can ever build an unbreakable bond with someone else's child like we can our own. I don't think it is really possible anymore. It's not that I don't think step parents and step children will always wind up like this, because I know some have GREAT relationships at all different levels of family/caring. I guess the "secret" ingredient is DESIRE. If the child (or step parent) do not DESIRE to have an unbreakable bond, then it can be as close of a relationship as they want as long as they want, but when that desire fades, the bottom line is "you're not my parent" or "you're not my kid" and either or both can walk away from it... no legal ties... no emotional ties??? I guess I'm bringing it up because it's part of why I'm sad this week. Years ago, JNM's situation gave me hope that one day, my SD would realize I care & would accept me as part of her life. I had hope for the kind of relationship she had with her SD. After a couple of years, I realized it was never going to happen. BM wasn't going to allow it... and SD didn't want it. I can, and have, blamed BM for being a wedge to me having a relationship with her daughter... but the truth is that SD has never warmed up to me (or anyone else in her dad's life) and probably never will. She is entitled to feel that way I suppose. In my opinion, it is very sad because her dad is aloof and her mom is self centered so neither of them is giving her what she wants. Nobody sees any problem, except me. Maybe I'm the problem??? Anyway, it's just discouraging to hear so many of these stories... I mean, I watched my dad treat my stepsister like (sometimes even better than) one of his own kids... took her & her family (husband & kids) to Disney for a week (he's never done that with his own kids) and paid for her to go visit her husband's family back east, was "grandpa" to her kids, etc. She would give him Birthday, Christmas & other cards "To Dad" with heartfelt messages... I will admit I was a bit jealous but we were all grown ups & he's entitled to have whatever relationship he wants. But, just before my stepmom passed away, my stepbrothers filed in court to make my dad account for their mom's assets. They were worried when she died, they would get nothing. She really had nothing. All her income (disability) was paid out to caregivers (and my dad paid a good chunk out of his pocket in addition to that) but dad had given my stepsister all my stepmom's clothes, jewlery, her Mustang (after HE paid it off) and family heirlooms (piano, china, etc) and the day before court... my stepsister was visiting my dad to ask for the only thing left belonging to her mother... the silver. My dad didn't think twice, he gave it to her. She mentioned that what her brothers were doing is BS and she wanted nothing to do with them. (one of them had molested her as a teenager) Anyway, the next morning my dad goes to the court hearing & who do you think is sitting there with the brothers... yep, stepsister. After 20 years of calling my dad "dad", going on vacations, holidays, grandkids, weddings, and caring for her mom together for 6 years, she was sitting with the brothers. My dad was served with a declaration she signed, stating she had taken care of her mother for all those years and was "woefully underpaid". She had lived in the marital home, expense free [he paid the mortgage, utilities & bought groceries], she had a vehicle (w/ins. & fuel) provided, and when she moved out... he refinanced & gave her 60K, which she used to buy a new truck & a down payment on her house. All of that was on top of giving her all of her mother's things... seriously, my dad went into a deep depression over it. So, maybe no matter how long things are good... maybe it's just never enough. (I just needed to vent... thanks!!)