Thanks, Dan, for the responsible video about proper citrus grafting using ONLY clean budwood from the CCPP. It is tempting, I know, to go and snip budwood from a neighbor's tree, or use some "exotic" budwood that someone has, but this is exactly how Citrus Greening was discovered in Los Angeles county, California about a year ago - someone in the Chinese-American community who was an experienced citrus grafter decided to bring some unclean (and infected) pummelo budwood in from China illegally, and as a favor, grafted that budwood onto a neighbor's tree. Fortunately, that branch did not look healthy, the ag agents were called for a diagnosis, and sure enough, it was infected with HLB. Horrifying. And, there were ACP's in that area. So, we in hobby & commercial citrus circles are still collectively holding our breath on this incident. Great job, Dan. Grafting is fun, but we need to be very responsible in how we acquire budwood. The CCPP has made it much, much easier to request budwood, now, so for those of us who love citrus, and enjoy grafting, this has been a wonderful and very safe opportunity. Lastly, Suzi, I am concerned that your old Lime tree is affected with Wood Pocket. If so, it would not be a candidate for grafting, as its days are numbered. If you are not sure, you can always send photos of the trunk area, and overall tree to your local ag agent, and let them diagnose your old lime tree. If so, better to have it removed, and plant whatever cultivar you would like in its place. Patty S.

This string of posts makes me a little sad, although there are points of hope scattered through it. Many folks have good friends on the garden forums, and most -- but admittedly not all -- people who post comments are intending to teach, to learn, to share a common interest and to share a laugh. When they disagree, there's often a hearty back and forth -- particularly when you have long-standing forum relationships. In such cases, if you get into a flame war, you have at least some sense of the person you're responding to and the friends you're defending. And the person you flame today may be the person who chimes in on your side tomorrow. In this case, there seems to be a disturbing disconnect to me -- a split in focus between to responses to Gayfeather's comments on people's taste in flowers and his outrage regarding other comments on people's taste in partners. As beautiful and important as flowers are to many forum regulars, I think that people should try to keep in mind that no one was ever beaten up for liking "peasant" sunflowers over gladiolas. And I also believe that most, if not all of the original posts that upset Gayfeather came from a place without serious ill will. A place where you may be talking in stereotypes (whether seriously or comically), but there's no harm intended because you're talking about a "good" stereotype -- you know: "those" people are really good at basketball, "those" people are really good at math, or "those" people are really good with money. The funny thing is, not everyone would fill such blanks in the same way. More importantly, no matter how you fill them in, they wouldn't be universally true. And before anyone who was ever in a group of "those" people pipes up with a "yeah, you tell them!", people who are in such groups often enjoy toying with the "good" stereotypes themselves. When you're on the outside, it's insensitive, maybe bigoted behavior. But when you're doing it within the group, it's just an inside joke against the schmucks on the outside. And, as a practical matter in daily life, when you're in one of "those" groups, sometimes playing to a stereotype can just be so much easier. Other folks can get even more upset or confused when you frustrate their expectations. It's less confrontational to say, "Why thank you, I AM good at math," instead of "Well, actually I nearly flunked out of high school because I can't do simple algebra, but thank you bringing up those painful memories." It's a big wide world out there filled with all sorts of people in it. Broad categories, stereotypes and other general assumptions about how the world usually works may make it a little easier to make your way through it. Even so, I guess all I am saying is that even if you think a certain stereotype is a "good" one, other folks might not think so -- and, of equal importance, it might not be true or even partially true with respect to the person in front of you. So try to keep a watchful eye, and when possible, try to see the real person behind the assumption. That's it. I'm off the soapbox now. Thanks. Oh yeah . . . one more thing: For the record, I really do prefer "peasant" sunflowers to gladiolas, and there's no harm in mixing styles from time to time -- so bring it on! :)

If Suzy was not feral then she didn't have an easy life. The first night when I went to feed her she didn't know about food in a dish. After I put the food in the dish she stood there and screamed at me because she could smell the food but didn't know where it was at. It took about three trys before I got her nose in the dish long enough to figure there was food there. She does not have enough jaw strength for dry food. Possible she lived with someone that gave her a few table scraps and called it good. I'm really not the type to pick up a cat at the local bar. But when the skin hangs on the bones and they attempt to eat anything you give them... she was in trouble. Upside good news is that the kittens are doing great! They opened their eyes today. I tried for a picture but the kitten squalled and Suzy got upset. With only two of them nursing they are getting plenty. They are so fat with milk they couldn't walk if they tried. Note the kitten to mom size ratio! Imagine if your kids were that size after a week. I think the words were something like, "you are not my mother! You are a SNORT!" : ) michael aka. the SNORT!

Thanks to all who have shared on this thread. I too am an estranged mother from an adult son. I used to be the one saying to other estranged parents that they must have done something wrong to deserve it. No child would ever willingly want to cut off good, caring, loving parents. Then, it happened to me and I was in shock and disbelief because I am always the one OTHER people turned to for help with their children. I am a therapist, after all, and I know about interpersonal relationships - right? I spent my whole life teaching others "how to do it correctly and in a healthy way"! How shocking and shameful it was when this happened to me! Not me!! How and why could this happen?!? The past five years have been grueling to say the least. I do understand the suicide attempts by some and the difficulty moving forward with life. I read everything I can find from children who have cut off parents to try to figure out what I can do to fix it. I read the comments by those on this thread that tell us what we have done wrong. So, I have apologized repeatedly for anything and everything I have done to make my child hurt. I have repeatedly reached out to him as have multiple family members and his best friend and other friends to try to heal the rift. Every time I reach out, there is some new reason he and his wife are hurt. Some of the things they accuse me of are not true. I know they are not true because they are about how I feel - that I don't really care about them or that I don't really love them or I behaved in a certain way because I wanted to disrespect them. I can honestly say that all I want from them or anyone is to have a nice time and to love each other. They misinterpret everything I do. I still apologize but only I know how I really feel and what my true intentions were. They can't tell me that. Still, I apologize. Finally, my husband and adult daughter and other son told me to stop apologizing. They said it was making it worse and not better. They saw my pain and desperation and helplessness and it was destroying them. So, they told me to stop because they could not take the pain. So, I stopped. With regard to what CJH Design wrote about gravitating toward pleasure and away from pain, I will say this. My parents have not been easy to deal with. They are controlling and focus only on themselves. I am expected to do everything for them and they still complain. No matter how much I do, it has never been good enough and they always expect more. I have tried and tried to make them happy and I have become a major people pleaser and caregiver in my life, sacrificing everything for the wellbeing of others and especially my family. My father is older and my mother has died. I take care of him every day and it is very difficult because of how critical he is. It is not pleasant to be around him most days but I still do it. I don't do it because it is pleasurable. I do it because I love him and that is what love is. It is unselfish and it is giving, even when it is not easy or pleasant. I also remember how many times I did this for my children when they were difficult to deal with and it was not at all pleasant to care for them, give up dreams that I had, deal with the pain of their behaviors, and work full time to support them. I could have left them and gone out for more pleasurable times when I was young like some parents do instead of hanging in there, parenting when it was very difficult and certainly not fun to deal with temper tantrums, snot, sickness, and endless needs. Not fun at all. Parenting is the most difficult job on the planet and it takes a dedication to stick with it and not run from it toward a life of fun and pleasure. I believe that being unselfish and giving to others is an important value and I try to do it in my life. I also have empathy and compassion for my father because of what he has been through in his life, which I won't go into because it would take all day. I would never dream of cutting him off. My heart hurts too much when I think about the pain it would cause him. I could never do that to him, no matter how he treats me. He does not have to be pleasant all the time for me to be around him, care for him, and stay with him. I think that is what love is really. Another example: In my work I go into jails to help people in trouble with the law. I hate being locked in when I go to jails because I have a phobia. I get paid very little and the courts are not nice to me. It is definitely not pleasant. I don't do it for the pleasure or money. I do it because I want to try to help and because I believe that doing things that are right is not always easy. People do things for pleasure but I have found that meaning and purpose can come out of things we do that require a willingness to set our own desires aside for someone else or for a greater good. This is what I have learned from my estrangement from my son: Karma: I recognize there is a lesson in this for me. What am I being taught by the universe? I have struggled with this long and hard and I think I have learned that I needed too much from my son. I think I relied on him to make me happy because of the difficult relationship with my parents. I need to let him have his own life and make his own decisions. I need to move on and figure out what I need myself and not rely on him so much. I also think I learned that I have been too critical and judgmental of others in my life. I need to try to be more understanding, compassionate, and less focused on who is right and who is wrong. Money: I gave my son everything he ever needed. I paid for his degree, paid for him to travel all over the world, and paid for several cars, and for anything else he needed ever. He now has a good job and is making far more than I ever did. I had to work several jobs to give him what he needed. He does not need my money now but the rift did seem to be about money as far as I can tell. Here is what I have decided I need to do to find meaning in life: I am going to use the money I earn and have to give to others in the world who don't have anything. I am going to travel with organizations that help others and use my money to help them. I am going to give of myself also, because that is more important than just giving money. I am going to try to improve the things for other people around the world who have far less than any of us. That is going to give me meaning and purpose and is something that I always wanted to do when I was raising my children. My daughter has indicated that she wants to do this with me and she shares in the vision. It gives me so much joy and pride to have her with me on this journey. I hope that some day my son will come back and have a relationship with me and with his family. His sister and brother are very angry with him and he does have a spouse that encouraged the cut-off from us. I hope that we can heal eventually but I am not sure if he even values his family at this point. What I have learned is that it is his decision and I must let him figure out his own life and not expect him to be there for me. I can accept this now and I am starting to have some peace so I must be on the right track. Life is a struggle and we all need to work to figure out what we are supposed to learn about ourselves. What you all have written in this thread has helped me a lot to continue figure things out myself.