Moving and leaving loved people, places, and gardens behind is a very hard thing to do. Even when one has a sense of expectation one still has a bit of wistfulness over the loss of that special first garden.

You put a lot of effort, time, patience & love into your garden. It hurts to see the new owner treat it so cavelerily.

Yes, this will pass but meanwhile know that there are friends here who understand and send you virtual hugs and encouragement.

Janinecolette,

Your experience reminds me of mine in 2001. I also took my most prescious plants late that year. The new owner said that I should as she didn't know if she was going to keep what I had. A year later, when visiting, I discovered that she had kept some but not others.

I must say however, that I looked at it differently than you did. I was excited about gardening on a 30 year old property which had 'bones' and some mature trees, but not one garden or shrub. We moved in late August so all I did that year was plant the perennials which I had brought with me to settle them in. Seemed rather bare since we went from a small city plot to 2/3 acre.

That winter I discovered the Winter Sowing Forum here at GW and I started to winter sow. It made me look forward to all the plants which would be growing in the gardens and kept me busy during the winter months.

For the last 7 years I have been gardening year round. The perimeter of the property is surrounded by gardens as is our home. The lawn is disappearing a bit more every year. :O)

It is difficult to leave a garden which you have taken care of for some time. There's no doubt about that. But having a new slate to garden is so exciting and definitely soemthing to look forward to.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way....

Would it be possible to go to your old home this spring and get permission to take cuttings, etc. of the plants you are wishing you had taken? Changes are hard. Moving is supposed to be one of the most difficult changes to make. In a way it is almost as if you have left behind a living being that you had nurtured and cared for. My parents have moved repeatedly through the years and they always planted nice trees wherever they lived. They have gone back and loved seeing "their" trees with years of growth, knowing that generations to come will get to enjoy them. Maybe you can spend time working out your plans for your new place and getting ready for your first gardening year where you will have more space for creative ideas. Don't feel bad about being sad to leave your garden; it is natural to miss something that gave you great happiness.

It's difficult to leave behind something you've put all that love and attention into, but think about the great things you'll be able to do with your new space. We'll all be waiting to hear about your new gardens.b

Hi. I've just moved too, leaving my garden of 5 years (my first yard, my hobby and obsession). It is traumatic when I think of my plants at the last place. I too took a bunch of things but of course that was a tiny fraction of what I had there.
I hope you have fun with your new place. I'm actually looking forward to starting again because I know so much more now then I did at the last place so I think I can do even better.

Best Wishes,
Lex

I moved late last spring and went back to see the old gardens this fall(actually it was more to help out the new owners with a heating system question.. but all I really wanted was to see the yard). You could tell that nothing was done to the backyard all summer, It was tough and for a while I considered offering "landscaping services" where for a pitiful $ amount I would come and mow and clean up the yard.... but then I realized I needed to move on. I'll still jump at any excuse to drop by, but I know in another year or two I'll have bigger and better things going on here. It just takes time. Hang in there! I know I will miss a ton of plants this pring, but as new ones settle in here it should be easier.

Maybe the new owners will develop an interest... you never know! I just do know that every time I look at the old yard I see all the things I wanted to do but never got to. I have all these visions of what it should look like now and it's all gone a different direction.

Just like with new plants, you also have to put down new roots.

You know, I felt the same way when I moved, but it passes. Best not to visit the old place again and just concentrate on your new place. No one will ever take care of your garden like you would so it's better not to see it. I discovered many new opportunities in my new yard and put in veggie, shade, and rose gardens and a big pond. You'll be surprised how involved you'll get and soon won't think about the old one much at all. Consider this blank slate a new opportunity to try things you've always wanted. Yes, it takes time, but summer by summer you'll get there. I used the knowledge I gained with my first garden to do things differently the next time around and found I didn't miss it as much as I thought I would. Please don't cry ... get out those books and start planning your next adventure(s)!

I feel your pain... but I'm going to be getting an apartment instead of a house so from this coming summer forth if I use the term "my garden" it should be understood to be in past tense...

I agree with the person who said you cant go home again!! I am drawing a blank and will think of it later, anyway, it is true. I have lived here for 40 plus years and have a big garden I have spent putting all my time and love into it but decided when the time comes, I will not come back to see it when I move. Most people unless they are very avid gardners will not take care of it like you did, sorry to say. So enjoy making your new one a beautiful place for you and your family to enjoy, and try some new plants you havent had in the other one and experiment with new and different settings, but most of all enjoy it. Good Luck!! Tricia

Janine, so sorry you miss your old garden. It is traumatic to lose the things we love. However, you now have 2 acres to make new gardens! How exciting! Of course, you can't do it in 2 days, but you have many years of gardening enjoyment ahead of you. Perhaps you can create a nice cozy secret garden somewhere on your 2 acres, to help soothe your soul?

There is a great thread started by David-something, somewhere on the back pages of this forum. I will bump it up, to keep the thread from disappearing, and because it is well worth the read for anyone who has to move away from their gardens. (Warning - the thread can be kind of depressing, for anyone who clings to the fantasy that new owners will take care of a beloved garden.)

Janine- one year ago i was in your shoes. I found out about winter sowing, like Tiffy mentioned I think, and what an awesome way to grow a new garden. I moved to a house with zero gardens and, if I were tech savvy would post a pic of my gardens...you would't beleive how much I grew thru winter sowing. Saved tons of $$ and how else can you garden thru the winter months? Our old house didn't sell til mid June so I was literally digging up plants, putting them in the car and planting right into my new garden. I am happy when I look at them b/c they remind me of my first garden but thanks to winter sowing I have so many new interesting plants as well. check it out and have fun planning a new space!

Hi All,

I just wanted to say THANKS for all of your kind words and support! I had to stay away from the boards for awhile, since I was feeling rather sad about leaving my old garden. However, I took your advice and started planning my new space!!! I will post my design ideas later on today. So happy to have a place where others can share in similar feelings. Thanks for all of your kind words! Means sooo much!!

Hi Janine,

Glad to hear you are feeling a bit more up. I'm sure once spring really arrives and your plans get underway, you'll be much happier and excited about the new opportunities.

Looking forward to seeing your ideas!
:)
Dee

My parents moved to a retirement home last April and left behind a family heirloom peony when they did. I could have gone to try and transplant it (moving it from the Philadelphia area to where I live north of Boston), but I live in a townhouse with a landscaper service, 2"+ of hardwood mulch every year, needed or not (& since it goes on top of landscaping fabric it never decomposes into the soil, but rather just builds up on top of it), and thus I'm sure I would have ended up with a dead peony in a few years. My sister and brother weren't in a position to salvage it, either.

It was probably only Festiva Maxima (common as the dust), since that's what the flowers looked like, but even so, it ultimately came from the garden of my mother's father's aunt (via a transplant to my mother's father's place, years & years ago).

Sometimes you can't save stuff.

When we moved here and left our first garden I was a bit sad at first, especially when the new owners ripped out the garden and replaced it with evergreens in a sea of mulch! But I soon came to see that garden as just 'practice' and this garden is the 'real' one! A new garden is an opportunity to make a better garden. So 'sad' doesn't last long....

I have had to do this twice now, and the first garden was beloved by everyone on our street. That house, which was brand new when we bought it, has been re-sold 2-3 more times and they ripped out all of the perennials and let the weeds take over, etc. to the point of the house looking abandoned. That was very hard to see ! The second house I have not gone back to look at. What I liked about moving was the chance to develop a wider knowledge of plants, for instance, the fist garden was full sun all day, so I learned about what plants loved full sun and also started vegetable gardening. The second house had a long driveway and was mostly shade, with only one small patch of good sun. So I had to learn about a whole new set of plants that thrived in shade. The house we live in now has areas of both full sun and deep shade, so I feel fortunate to have had to deal with both in the past. The beds were edged at the new house but only had a few shrubs/trees planted. No real perennials to speak of ! So I relished the thought of making my own design, my own combinations, and am still enjoying tweaking things each spring. It is definitely better to not look back, but to look ahead to the possibilities you have at your new home. The plants you brought with you will remind you of how far you have come.

I know exactly what you're going through. I moved at the end of June last year and the grieving process was started by me being unable participate or even to look at these forums, or buy any gardening mags and flip through them.

The thought of leaving my 5 year old garden which I'd created from nothing - was unbearable. I'd read many tear-jerking posts here about the subject, so I knew what feelings to expect but it was still very hard.

A member of my family moved into my old home and I thought it would be easier but its almost worse. My husband doesnt know why I can't go back there maybe couple of times in the summer and "fix it up a bit" LOL. The new owner said she couldn't wait to add to it and put her own touches in it, but I can see that she's not really interested, and by September last year it was so weedy and overgrown that I suddenly found it easy to say my private goodbyes and move on.

So I concentrated all my efforts on looking ahead and transforming this place. It's 3 times bigger than the old one, and is much much emptier, so here I go with a soccer field again. Just a bigger one. There are some perennials here but its weird... I still don't feel much of a connection to them. Almost like someone else's kids were dropped off at my house.

So from June to frost last year I begrudgingly tended to the odd combinations of yarrow and lenten rose... of ditch lilies and clematis... swore at the huge patches of mint and wild violets, swore louder at the price of plants down here (how does 3 x sound?), and looked for some strapping young men to dig a few new garden beds for me. One of them looks a bit like a burial mound so I'll be re-shaping that as soon as the ground thaws. There is no connection between anything in my yard yet, so I will enjoy working on that this year. I really need to keep looking ahead, instead of mourning for the past non-gardening year.

Threedogsmom is absolutely right - don't look back.

A very dear friend told me this last year -- your garden is a reflection of you, your artistic expression and your beauty. Without you, it has neither of those things.