Been there, dealing with that. Hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. My husband maintains that there was no physical intimacy. He also denies an emotional affair but I think that is just ridiculous. Clearly there was something going on-- yes, I have proof of phone calls and a blatant pursuit of him by her. I could kill her. I wanted to ask her about it, too, but many people have reminded me that that will not help my situation. The hardest thing you will have to do, and what I am still working on, is that until you catch them in the act or have enough evidence that there is no doubt there WAS an affair, you have to try to believe there was not one, if you want to move forward and salvage your relationship. We have kids, which is why I am trying to put my worries and obsessive thoughts into what is going wrong in our marriage that would cause my husband (in your case, your wife) to look to someone else for companionship. No matter what was going on between the two of you, it does not justify looking outside the marriage for anything else. What she did was wrong. You are justified in feeling hurt. Hang in there and if the two of you are willing to go to counselling together, I recommend it. A word of advice about that, though: Despite your hurt and anger, give her time to explain WHY she did what she did, and let her do it without a rush to judgement from you. You will need to offer an environment where she feels it is safe to complain about you in her explanation of what she did. If your situation is anything like mine, your wife will probably blame you for her actions. It is not fair, it is hard to hear, but I have found that allowing your spouse to voice her frustrations will make her feel more willing to give the information that you are trying to find out from her. I completely understand what you are going through. It sucks!! My thoughts are with you!

Yep, I forgot to add, I wake up drenched too. but it has been almost 20 years since my hysty. I know I am in the clenches of meno, but at least let me sleep!!! The dogs are my #1 worst enemy at night. They have learned to reach up and drag a paw across my arm to wake me up to go out at night. Now I wonder if I am the butt of their late evening entertainment. Nibbles to Brandy: "Hey Bran, she's snoring let's go for it!" Brandy to Nibbles: " Ok, but I get to do it next time." Nibbles to Brandy: "OK, but wait until she starts snoring to do it again, or she might get mad." Brandy to Nibbles: "Gotcha, let's get this show on the road!" That would make a great cartoon sketch. Trin

I didn't have a very good night either. Not that I ever do get a good nights sleep. When I got home at 3 yesterday afternoon from work, I had a slight pain in my chest. I finally told my DH at 10:30 when I went to bed. He asked me if I wanted him to call the ambulance and I said no.So we talked a bit and went to sleep. I woke up at 1:30 and I started talking again and he said he had some nitroglycerin pills. I thought if we are going to call an ambulance, maybe I shouldn't take one because then I didn't know if they could get and accurate blood pressure reading. I came out and looked on the internet what the pills do in the first place and I decided not to take one. I went back to sleep woke up at 5:30. I said I think you should take me to the hospital. It is 40 miles away. I don't have insurance and that's why I was debating whether to go or not. We got up and started getting dressed and I said it doesn't hurt anymore. I went to work. It was about 7 when I called an EMT to check my blood pressure. I couldn't get a hold of the first one I called and The next one I called said she would get someone out there for me. He checked it and said it was 170 over I don't remember the bottom number. He said he didn't think it was my heart. By then I had already figured it out that I thought I had a rib out of place and that's what was causing it. I worked until almost 3 and went to my chiropractor and I had ribs out of place in the front and in the back. She took my blood pressure and it was 142. I am glad that's all it is was. I know some of you will probably say I should still go to the doctor. That is much easier to say if you have insurance and I am satisfied with what I found out. I have had ribs out of place before and it is just what it felt like. A person has a hard time inhaling air and it is like you are not getting enough oxygen.

Well... I am embarrassed to say so far so good--- we packed up the dogs and went to stay with a friend for the day on Saturday because our agent had back to back viewings schedule all day. We are very, very fortunate that we received (and accepted) a good cash offer Saturday night. So we are now under contract. I do have to put them all in their car crates and disappear for inspection but if that goes well, we should be headed to the closing table. But it was high stress- one is 15 and has some senior dementia and gets so anxious and the other two are just high energy. They never got comfortable at our friend's house even with us there. There is no way I would have been able to manage them by myself for showings during the week while hubby works. I am hoping and praying this contract keeps moving forward.... Good luck to us all!