Things I miss.

15 years ago

Strange but I miss not being needed at the farm. Son has a very capable hired woman that can do everything that I used to help with and grandson is home from college this summer. Strange, I miss the hectic busy days at the nursery -greenhouse garden store and the insane hours. I find myself even missing the long hauls I used to do hauling feed products for son and his partner.

I wonder, is there ever a time in your life after retirement that you can say O.K., thats it, what should be done is done and now I can forget it.

Got the neighbors shed demolished and cleaned up and hauled and the trailer returned, instead of the $1000 bid she got we will come in about $250. Although I learned that if I were doing it for a profit, well, I wouldn't be doing it. Did manage to salvage a 6" by 6" actual measurement beam form the old building only 5' long but should be able to use it sometime. Every thing else was warped or beginning to decay. Now we will wait for the people from the 30 mile canal to remove the old slab.

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Comments (9)

ell_in_or
15 years ago
I wonder, is there ever a time in your life after retirement that you can say O.K., thats it, what should be done is done and now I can forget it.

I doubt it. People who are used to seeing a need and doing something about it, will pitch in to do what's needed no matter where in their life they are. It's just that after "retirement" (where you are able to stop doing what you "have" to do for your livelihood) you usually get to be choosier about what you pitch in to help with. Like, oh... say... demolishing sheds... :)
shilty
15 years ago
No, Gandle, you will never get 'done'. Hubby and I work harder, longer, for more people than we ever did when we were employed.

You mentioned something that I miss... salvaging a nice piece of wood from the shed... I can remember a time when my dad straightened nails, and very carefully took down any old house or shed or building that he could get his hands on for the lumber... course, it could not be just any old building, it had to have had enough of a roof and enough paint to have preserved the wood.

One of our lost arts.
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calliope
15 years ago
It isn't a strange feeling at all to miss 'being needed'. I think everyone needs to feel needed. I notice my dd sometimes doesn't call me to help with stuff I used to help with. Prolly thinks she's doing me a kindness. But, there is this special connection when members of a family work together toward a goal, any goal. It's the most normal and satisfying feeling in the word. Who wouldn't miss it? BTW, I can still do those things I'm no longer asked to help with. I the same stuff when I'm at home alone, all by myself. I'll know when I need to beg off sweet things like jacking around appliances. Then I'll decline if I don't wanna.
meldy_nva
15 years ago
I think the "need to be needed" is one of the basics of life.

Retirement is somewhat of a jolt, because one no longer 'needs' to go to work, is no longer 'needed' at work. Wham, 9 to 12 hours a day totally change character. I ran into this when DH retired, which was complicated by his recovery from surgery -- the events overlapped, so there wasn't a defined cutoff point separating going to work and staying at home. The first couple years were really rough, but I think he's adjusted now. OTOH, if that shed had been in the vicinity, DH would have been right there too, and taking it down, heat or not.

See, the great part of "not going to work" is that you can choose what you want to do, when you want to do it, and for how long! The catch is that we each need to be sure that there are plenty of things to do, that need to be done, that we can do, that others rely on us to do. Once we realize that "work" doesn't have to be what it was, it's easier to find "work" that satisfies the need to be needed.

I think as we age, we adjust to the effort needed for various aspects of life, and that gradual change lets us age with more or less ease. There will likely never be a time when we don't need to be needed, but we can learn to find satisfaction in doing the things we *can* do, which are needed to be done.
pkramer60
15 years ago
Oh, but you are needed! You are needed here, as I am mostly a lurker but each day I come to read what you have written and to make sure you are well.

You have touched me in ways I cannot explain.

Yes, you are needed.
mawheel
15 years ago
There, Gandle -- pkramer has put into words what many of us have been feeling.
anneliese_32
15 years ago
I agree with pkramer too. The first thing I look for is a posting from you. You definitely are needed by us and your neighbors.
dirt_yfingernails
15 years ago
Yup, I agree with everyone. I look forward to your posts and what's happening in your world.
Mrobbins
15 years ago
The Baby Boomer generation is turning to social justice careers -- most of them part-time -- instead of an idle retirement. Here's a summary of a recently-released report.

Here is a link that might be useful: MetLife Foundation/Civic Ventures Encore Career Survey

Things I miss.

Comments (9)

ell_in_or

shilty

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