Next Tuesday is my first day of classes for the fall semester. Everyone keeps saying, "It's almost over". I realize they're just being supportive, but I cringe when I hear it. I guess it seems to downplay the hard work that exists between August 25, 2008-May 11, 2009. After all, I'm not just biding the time, I have to drive no less than 96 times to/from Murfreesboro in rush hour traffic, attend classes and participate, papers to write, and books to read. And in there somewhere, I have to get ready for graduation, forms signed and filed, tests for graduating taken, robes to buy, invitations to send, not to mention a house to remodel, meals to cook, and and and.... I'm not just marking off the days, it's a long row to hoe. But I realized earlier today it's more than it's so much more than "not much longer". This is the point at which I get to look back and it's all justified. All the classes under my belt. My belt. My work. Done. Tucked away. While I realize it's probably something most everyone here has already done, I haven't. It's new to me.
While completing my University upper division form earlier so that it can be signed by all my major/minor advisors, it hit me, 23 years (off and on, loads of on) worth of work fit one piece of paper. There were scores from my high school English lit class, two AP. Classes from my freshman bio/chem major, the days where I gained the freshman 15 (+15 more!), and learned while I was adept at those classes, I didn't really want to pour myself into them. There were classes I loved and did well now that I have "grown up". The years range from 1986-2009. The grades are 15 As, 13 Bs, 1 B+, 6 Cs, 1 D (organic chemistry! ICK!), and four undetermined (this and next semester). Although I need 120 hours to graduate, I have 130. Although I needed 15 hours in psychology, I will have completed 18, the most recent of which isn't necessary for my minor (it's done!), but which I want to take because of my current life situation, Psychology of Aging. I wonder what ages will comprise that class? Mostly, I did better gradewise than I remember, it holds so many memories, and I can't believe 23 years of work fits one piece of paper. My curriculum vitae (ok, University work life), is one piece of paper. Pretty pitiful! So how can it be so doggone meaningful so as to keep me going? Going through work weeks of 70-80 hours (in the 90s) and then attending classes 3 times a week for 3 hours a piece, not to mention the homework that went with it, changing homes, evolving jobs, getting married, getting divorced, getting married, raising a child, finding myself, and just plain plugging away, day-in/day-out. It will now stand for the rest of my life.
I told LF yesterday there are four things in life you must do, only get one real chance, and don't stop 'til you have them: find the love or your life, buy and make a home, parent a child, and get a good education. I don't know how my choices would rate on other people's scale, but I'm pretty happy with my four. Guess I'll go for the icing on the cake, the gravy in life, and find more joy, happiness, and anything else is just extra at this point.
And life goes on... We had our first staff meeting without our leader who died last month. I almost couldn't go. I had to be talked into it. I only cried once during the meeting. I thought that was good. Ed called me to say the bathroom floor had to be torn and a better foundation built. I assume this has been the hold up in his mind, what has kept him at a stand still. Yea, forward movement! LF loves his new teacher and she likes him. He ended up in the same class as his girlfriend from kindergarten, so that's good. She's a grounding force for him, and teaches him to self-soothe when it's not going well. Soccer hasn't started yet, but he looks forward to it. Not much else going on.
nan_nc
lindajewell
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