Di, I've got to get outside to water my own plants (overslept and needed coffee first) but just wanted to quickly say y'all need to put a lien on the homes (businesses) where you did the work and take'em to court. No excuse for treating y'all this way. I can have sympathy for someone stealing a loaf of bread for their family but not decorative things...like painting a house for God's sake. They are stealing from you...that's the real bottom line. Hugs...josh

I can appreciate that josh but I disagree. And I also know that when I care for someone, I too may suggest what you are suggesting. I don't like me getting picked on either, lol.

Jimmy and I are from a place and time where we didn't even know what "sue" meant when we grew up, other than a girl's name. We also feel that this world of ours has too much unnecessary litigation that costs us all in the long run and short run for that matter. So, we choose to do our best not to be part of that scene. Suing someone is the very last recourse, very last. We both have a similar moral code or way of things that hope for patience and understanding from others when we need it so, in turn, we feel we are obligated to treat others as such. These people are just over 45 days late. I know I have been blessed recently with the people/debtors I owe with the understanding I have received. it's a ying and yang thing.
~di

Don't know if this will offend you or not -- but prayers are being offered for you and your husband.

Wish you weren't going through all this crapola right now Di. Enough is enough is enough. I guess we all have to do what seems right to us,but I can't imagine putting your own health below that of a non paying customer. I hope they eventually come through for you. It's taking forever for houses here to sell too but they finally seem to do it. That has to be a really heavy burden,especially with your customers refusing to pay you what you have rightfully earned.So heck,on those especially blue days,eat the ice cream,don't do your chores.... whatever it takes. Have you been having the 90 degree temps there that we have here? Nothing here is doing much blooming right now and probably won't until it cools off a little. Poor baby..just know that we are here when you want to grouse a little. Heck..we all do it.

A good many of us grew up thinking that to sue someone was a desperate measure. Nowadays, if one doesn't hold firm to the contract-especially on time/payment clauses, it's a choice of litigate or be treated like a doormat. When DH first retired, he worked PT for a friend who was a contractor for house painting. DH was horrified when he learned that many people had to receive a lawyer's letter before paying for the contracted job -- something like a third of the 'customers' apparently had the attitude that if you didn't legally demand the money, you didn't need to be paid! So suing may be your preferred last recourse, but I sincerely hope that your third recourse [after two duns] is have a mean-sounding lawyer. You have behaved in a honorable way in completing the contract; IMHO, you should not consider dishonorable non-payment as an acceptable way for others to treat you. If those folks are truly in straits, then your lawyer can work out a deferred payment system. Your job was painting, let someone else be their financial manager. Remember: when these people take your services, labor, material, and/or expertise under agreement to pay for them, then to not pay is to steal. Don't condone theft because that only encourages the thieves to repeat their stealing with other people.

If you don't want to take a lien on the other house, consider short-term rentals. Or, I highly recommend dealing with the Navy Dept. for longer-term rental, as they oversee their staff to be sure the residence is well-kept. I know, because I've rented to some wonderful Navy people.

Drought. I think my gardens have endured August since last April. We've had less than 3" rain since the beginning of April: 2.8" instead of 16". Week by week, I've given up on the ornamentals; hosta, azaleas, hydrangea, lilies, phlox... a pitiful sight is a small marigold blossom on top of a dried brown stem; but all must wait for rain for I've turned off the city water. On the good side, neither blackspot nor mildews have been a problem this year, lol. DH is continuing to water some of the vegs. A tomato plant should be swimming if you give it 10 gallons of water, instead, the ground is powder dry in a couple hours. Our last water bill was entirely too close to four digits... it'll be cheaper to replace everything than to continue watering.

Depression. All you can do is hold up your head and slog on. It's okay to limp along, it's not okay to give up. It's also okay to rant and rave, especially here. We may not have worn your moccasins, but we have walked the miles.

Sending you a virtual hug, and (sorry but also virtual) a big slab of dark chocolate.

I'll puff a little under your wings, Di. Yes, go ahead an let it out. Sometimes that helps you turn the corner and grab a thread of optimism. Sometimes that's the only thing you can grab. I won't belittle what you have been through. It's so major I can't fathom it and don't want to ever have to. But, I have had several years where I just didn't know if I could take one more ounce on the camel's back. Things will turn around. They always do if you can just hang in there.

I just had a death in my family and because of that I have three houses to keep up until I can at least get one sold. D****d scary, isn't it? Thank god no mortages on them, but the other stuff is bad enough.

As for business stuff. I am self employed as well. I have extended credit in circumstances most businesses would never have. In eighteen years, I have only faced that debt collection situation four times. The other two times were for amounts so small it only bit my bum on principle. I honestly think, however, those four accounts never had any intention from the beginning of paying me. One got as far as the the antechambers of a courtroom before the check got coughed up. The other three knew they'd be in the same spot if they didn't settle their debts. Here's how I found out most people's minds work when they get in over their heads. They pay those bills first they think will impact them the most. IOW, food, utilities, car payments, in that pecking order. They are also most afraid of large companies they see as having the gonads to sue. The independant contractors come in toward the bottom feeder spot. 45 days isn't bad. At sixty, however, A/R's all get certified letters. At ninety, my attorney sends them the bill. Most of them are decent people, yes, and deserve a chance. But, number one is they aren't friends. Friends don't do that to other friends. Number two is most of them are victims of poor financial sense, but that should be their problem. Not mine.

You know we are right across the bay from you. If you need help give us a shout. We are only an e-mail away. Steve in Baltimore County.

Di, there is a difference between frivolous lawsuits and appropriate and just ones. Your case would be the latter. You diminish yourself when you don't try to get what is rightly yours and honestly come by. Value yourself enough to do whatever is necessary to get it. How is your health and welfare less important than suing these people? It isn't, of course.

You matter, di, you and Jimmy matter.

Di, you've lost a family member, for most people depression is a natural occurance after a loss like that. It is a chemical imbalance,which does'nt help a fig in how you feel. I know. I've been fighting Major depression for 30 yrs now.You will get over this. Thank God yours is only temporary. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, keep looking for it. yu will see it.

Sometimes depression can be caused by medical problems. Have you had a good blood work up for anemia,thyroid and anything else your doctor can come up with.

Antidepressents does cause weight gain but you probably wont be on them forever than you can lose weight. I suggest you stay away from all cokes and diet cokes, they can cause troubles too

Hope it don't sound like i'm preaching. I don't mean too just share some of what i've picked up here and there. I do care and want to help. Your business things you just have to follow your conscience. Depression makes it harder to fight does'nt it? You're in my prayers and thoughts

"You yourself,as much as anybody in the entire universe,deserve your love and affection-Buddha

Thanks you guys. I didn't mean to sound like I was willing to concede on not getting paid. Suzy hit the nail on the head, explaining the bottom feeder pecking order of the small contractor. There's steps or a process that we take to up our chances of getting paid other than running to a courthouse. Surely, you all know that once one opens that can of worms, you can add months,costs and the risk of not collecting the full total amount. In addition, knowing your adversary and treating these situations on a case by case differential is to our advantage. Trust me, it's better to play detective, using your understanding of what is really happening, to get what you want rather than to threaten too early.
As far as the guy who has empty promises, we are in the 'squeaky wheel gets the grease' step in the process. We're camping out in his front yard, so to speak. Jimmy and I both know how many aces we hold in our hand. We know when someone's ego and reputation is at stake. I am friends with two of his sisters, one of his brothers and his mama adores me. Jimmy knows the same 300 or so people this guy knows,lol. This alone ensures us that he won't stiff us and is more threatening than any call or letter from a lawyer. My Jimmy is very personable and charming. Yesterday, he exposed a few of his serious peacock feathers, so to speak, to this guy while discussing this debt and handing Jimmy some cash that amounts to not even a lousy tip to what he owes us. Although not being openly discussed, all the players know what's at stake here, where we all are on the time line and when push comes to shove. Jimmy and I know when to burn our bridges. I also know when the ball is in Jimmy's court,not mine. It's to my advantage to let these boys be boys, if you know what I mean.
;o)

The good news is, that your kind words,prayers and sunflower thoughts made a big change yesterday. Half of what is owed to us came in the mail! But more importantly, another prayer involving money was answered yesterday. Even more needed, this little miracle made Jimmy and I feel a much missed breeze under our wings that really uplifted us.

Oh good lord, you're all gonna get a kick out of this. But first let me tell you about what our day was like after I wrote this journal yesterday. Like I said, I knew writing out my feelings would throw me into some level of action so I started with the basics and cleaned the house while Jimmy was working. We both agreed that we would put 2 hours into chores/work and go to the beach. Heat index predictions were 110 degrees. We had no idea that a thrilling roller coaster ride of utter fear and joy would unfold the rest of our day.

While I was cutting up watermelon and lopes for our cooler, Jimmy let me know that he put the cash with the checks we got in the mail in one of our dressers but had 2 twenties and some ones on his person. Boy, did we get lucky with parking. The closest spot to the beach on the street we picked. So rare, we had to high five each other. Virtually impossible when you consider it's the busiest week of the season with 300,000 people in one 13 mile long stretch of beach. We claimed our turf on the sardine packed beach and the oppressive heat got us to the surf sooner than usual. The temp of the water was a perfect 71 degrees. Chilly to the toes at first but easy to wade on in without hesitation. And the there was such a nice sandbar with waves strong enough to keep a good eye but spaced well enough to have a blast. Many of the beach goers were taking advantage of the wonderful surf.
It was so nice for us to be exchanging those, "Gosh, this is so much fun" smiles between us. Whew, talk about good for the weary soul. My senses seemed to be in overdrive when leaving the water feeling a formidable under toe against my calves. My sinuses only smelling the sea and my taste buds salty, I was thrown back to a place in time feeling as if I was walking out of the water with Lindsey after a swim. Her presence was so strong I could taste and smell it. I'm feeling better by the minute. For the next few hours we snacked, did some word puzzles and swam about every 1/2 hour due to the heat and the fun surf. I couldn't help but overhear a man behind us, with a new york accent, conducting business on his cell phone. Then his son, about 11, his daughter, about 14 and his wife joined him drying off from their swim. The boy was very loud throwing a bona fide fit yelling at his mom and stomping his feet. Jimmy and I dipped our sunglasses down our noses a tad and exchange that "look" while the people in front of us picked up their sand chairs and reversed them facing us instead of the ocean. It got weirder by the nanosecond after that. The boy gets even louder, screaming at his mother for not bringing his chair to the beach while now the people in front of us that are now facing us are also moving their sunglasses exchanging that "look" to us. Seconds later, bad turned to worse as the father started screaming as loud as his son throwing empty threats of leaving the beach, packing up the car and cutting their vacation short. The teenage girl, who remained quiet through her embarrassment get the brunt of her father's scolding, not the boy. Then all eyes on the jammed packed beach grew large when the man announced to his children "I wished I never had kids". I grabbed the arms to my chair to rise up and Jimmy said: "Oh no you don't Diane." I tried to settle back in my chair. About 90 seconds later with more screaming out of all of them except the mother, the father called his daughter a b--ch then yelled to his two kids: "I wish you two were both dead and buried." I jumped out of my chair like a bat outta he11. "Take it off the beach, now," I said. I said some more stuff but because I was seeing red I can't recall exactly. I know I was brief and didn't curse. I sat back in my chair for only a minute telling Jimmy and the now audience on me that I was going in the ocean, "I needed to cool off in more ways than one."

To my hopes, Jimmy soon joined me in the water and was met with, "Lindsey made me do it" with a big grin. "Oh, I know, he exclaimed, but she would of been 10 times worse than you!" When we got out of the water this sad excuse for a father and his family were no longer there. Four people approached me and thanked me. Jimmy dubbed me the "hero of the beach" for the remaining hour we were there before we headed home.

After some down time, around 6pm we both decide to run up to the produce stand together to get some corn for dinner. Jimmy pulled into the food store because he wanted something and I went to the trunk to get some money out of our beach bag. Earlier on the beach, I noticed Jimmy threw his cell phone, car keys and what certainly looked like a 100 dollar bill to me in the side pocket of the beach bag. With all the excitement and the fact that Jimmy is ADD, I never asked him about this bill. When I went to the trunk, the beach bag wasn't there. I gasped as I realized I left it on the street next to the car when we left the beach. We set land speed record getting back to the beach where we parked. We're both scared as he11 because even though Jimmy said he put the cash in the dresser he knows himself all too well and might of not put it in the dresser. With me trying to convince him that I did in fact see a 100 dollar bill in the beach bag earlier, we both were so scared that Jimmy somehow put all the 500 in our beach bag earlier before we left the house. I'm convinced that is exactly what happened and I apologize to him for making such a mistake. He graciously offered up, "Welcome to my nightmare. We'll never survive if my ADD rubs off on you!"
Meanwhile, it's the busiest week of the season and we are in deep dinner rush hour traffic. I keep closing my eyes and Jimmy weaves in and out of traffic. I prayed. Low and behold, we pull into the street we parked at earlier and there it sat on the sidewalk. He pulled up, I opened my door and yanked it into our car,lol. We gasped as we saw what we suspected and thanked God. So, here our beach bag with 500 dollars in it sat on a public street, in a very crowded resort and the only disturbance was tire tracks.

There was no argument that we knew darn well that Lindsey protected it for us!

Heck, we felt so good the rest of the night, I skipped watering my plants and excepted their "cooked-look" from the day's oppressive heat and only had ONE scoop of ice cream (with dark chocolate kisses and Heath bar pieces.)

That snack choice alone should tell you that things are much better now.

~di, going back to the beach today wishing for more excitement but not as scary as yesterday.
:o)

Di, it would be a cold in you know where before I would sit
by and let an ignorant parent berate his children like that.
Tar and feathers would be too good for a jerk like that.
You did good GF.

I'm so sorry that you have to contend with people that won't pay and a house that won't sell.
When it rains, it pours seems to be an understatement
in your's and Jimmy's lives right now.
I keep thinking of the " this too shall pass".

I pray that your house will sell and people that owe you
will pay up.
If you keep getting the run around, do what you have to do
and don't look back.

I'll get the tar & feathers ready. Just let me know when to build the fire. :0)

Icecream is a good thing.

Di after all you have been through and what you are still going through i feel icecream binges are the least of the feel good substances you could resort to for comfort.
Glad to see your last post...what a difference a day makes.

Di, thank you for sharing a part of your lives with us. I am glad Lindsey awakened your Opal Dragon and got you back up to speed. Sometimes a break can set your perspective.

I too am self employed and depend on the honesty and good will of my customers. The feast or famine of working for yourself is balance by having to answer only to yourself and the customer.

Good wishes to you and Jimmy.

Opal Dragon
In the war between good and evil, Opal Dragons take the side of the noble and good.
When it comes to the powers of Chaos vs. those of Law and Order, your inner dragon is a risk taker and answers to no one.
As far as magical tendancies, Your inner dragon has the ability to conquer the world of magic, but it will not be easy.
During combat situations, whether by spells or by claw, your inner dragon will do whatever it takes to get the job done.
The Opal Dragon is smaller than most other Dragons but does not allow this to get in it's way. It's speed in the air, on land, and in water make up for the Opal Dragon's smaller size. It's scales shine with a soft silvery glow that flicker with the deep colours of the energetic flashes found within this Dragon's body. The Opal Dragon is secretive and nocturnal in nature. Though this dragon is not fond of being seen in it's natural form, it's curious nature cause it to often shapeshift to look like other Beings and walk the world seeking wisdom.

The Opal Dragon will make it's home anywhere but travels often. This has earned the Opal Dragon it's reputation as a nomadic creature. This Dragon is quick to defend any who are being treated unjustly, regardless of species, though it will always attempt a non-violent solution before resorting to bloodshed. However, if a peacable solution cannot be found then watch out...the Opal Dragon has earned the title of both the bravest and fiercest when forced into battle and nothing can stop this dragon from destroying those who would cross it in this way.

The Opal Dragon is a contradiction. It loves the presence of others as long as the presence is sought by the Dragon, itself...if an Opal Dragon does not seek you out first, it is unlikely you will find one. All in all, this Dragon is honourable, protective, magickal, and wise...just don't make it angry or hurt those few this Dragon is close to.

This Dragons favorite elements are: Opals, Wisdom, and Justice

~Di--
Josh suggested filing a lien against the property in question. This does not necessarily mean filing a law suit. I'm not familiar with laws where you are but here if a customer fails to pay for work performed on real property, the contractor can file a "mechanics lien" against the property and the property cannot be sold until all claims against it are satisfied. You may be able to file the paperwork at your local courthouse without involving an attorney as the the forms are pretty much "fill in the blank". Of course, if your customer does not intend to sell the property any time soon, then you would still not be getting your money now when you need it most. I guess what I'm saying is, assess your situation and check into this option. It usually works pretty well if the property owner knows his property will be tied up if he doesn't pay his bill.

Good luck,

Pat

So glad for your day on the beach. That idiot father would still have my words ringing in his ears. That was pure child abuse. Good for you!!!
Everything else sounded like so much fun even the beachbag ending.
vickie