I am no bonsai expert, I started my first projects last year so take my advice with a grain of salt. I would let them grow as much as possible then prune back. my neighbour has been doing this for years with maple trees so i am learning from him. My project was a bonsai chilli, which I let grow to approximately 7" then cut down, trimmed the root ball and foliage and replanted in a gallon pot. Its doing quite well, I was pretty surprised at how quickly you can establish a bonsai, though it needs significant training and time to let the roots wooden over a bit.

Be strong...put it under the tree and walk away!! I haven't gotten my gift yet, but I hope to put the finishing touches on my person's tonight, so I can get it out tomorrow. I hope I can wait when mine comes!!

Hi Michelle, no, you are not the only one that has been that frightened or upset. A long time ago I posted on here about my having to kill my first rattlesnake, the beejeezus dance I did before and after and how I didn't think I could go past that spot again. Not a pleasant experience, but it had to be done, and of course by me because no one else was home. Since then I've killed many. I don't enjoy it but it's a necessity when you have pets, kids/grandkids and lots of acreage for the snakes to hide out in. Now just in case you or anyone else thinks that's a drastic measure, I assure you it's not. A friend who raises and keeps snakes for a research company taught me a few things about them and one is that they will often return to the same location if it provides water and shelter. If you're growing more than dirt, you'll have plenty of both. So while a spray from a water hose will often work, it may just be temporary. My advice to you is to always be on the lookout for them and have a very sharp flat head shovel at the ready. And don't be afraid of them, they move very slowly and usually away from you. They really want nothing to do with us humans and will go in the opposite direction if they can. Most people are bitten from startling the snakes or from being idiots and messing with them. I do have cats and they will keep the snakes away to some extent. Mine have warned me that one was near, like the one that got IN MY HOUSE! Ah, you should have seen me getting that guy out and onto the back deck, then the dirt, then making a mad dash to find the shovel, hoping Mr. Snake wouldn't scurry under something before I could behead him! Plus, I had to try and keep all three cats away for fear they would get bit. I did more than the beejeezus dance, I tell ya. ; ) My DH likes to say cussing was invented with the advent of plumbing. I say No, it was when the first cavewoman had to kill a snake! lol! So be brave, my friend, keep an eye on your kids at all times and the other one on the lookout for snakes. And keep that shovel sharpened and ready for a beheading. : ) You can do it! Diana

Your time alone this summer while SO & his kids are off at summer camp has brought home the reality that you're alone in this relationship. You're not part of their family, you're not getting the respect & support you need & deserve, you're the photographer who's never in the picture. Your boyfriend doesn't *sound* like a wonderful loving person at all. He sounds like someone who has you where he wants you. & "selfish" is not a nice thing to say to *anybody* who's alone & feeling abandoned. "Selfish", in fact, sounds like a very accurate thing to call someone who's having a great time & who doesn't want to hear about anyone else's pain or loneliness. Children who remind you that you don't share their last name are *not* signs of a good, loving, 'family' environment, & I wonder how it occurred to them to say such a thing; my very strong suspicion is that they heard it from their mother or their father. According to my uncle & my brother, both of whom know, grieving for a lost child is the worst grief there is. & you not only lost a child, you lost her before you knew her. You lost her when your anticipation was at its height, when your maternal hormones & feelings were at their most intense. It sounds like he!!, & evidently nobody has acknowledged the depth of your grief & the pain you feel every day. Although you must make your own decisions, my impulse is to say, shake the dust of this relationship off your dainty slippers & find someone who is thrilled to have you, who will be ecstatic & honored to share his family with you, who'll be open to marriage & adoption (how many children do you suppose are living in foster care because women who would love to be mothers are tangled up with men who are satisfied with the number of children they have & who don't care if their partners are happy with their position on the perimeter of family life?). Those nice men are out there, & they'll never get a chance while you're living with this guy. Take very good care of yourself. I wish you happiness & fulfillment.