Here goes. Last weekend I spied something at the pawn shop that tickled my fancy. (Note: Keep in mind that my "fancy" is easily tickled.) I bought something really cool for my wife. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my sweet girl. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sixed Tazer gun with a clip. For those of you who are not familiar with this product, it it a less-than-lethal stun gun with two metal prongs designed to incapacitate an assailant with a shock of high-voltage, low amperage electricity while you flee to safety. The effects are suppose to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, but allowing you adeqate time to retreat to safety. You simply jab the prongs into your 250 lb tattooed assailant, push the button, and it will render him a slobbering, goggle-eyed, muscle-twitching, whimpering, pencil-neck geek. If you've never seen one of these things in action, then you're truly missing out- way too cool! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the dam thing and pushed the button..... Nothing! I was so disappointed. Upon reading the directions (we don't need no stinkin' directions), I found much to my chagrin that this particular model would not create an arc between the prongs. How disappointing !! I do love a little fire for effect. I learned that if I pushed the button, however, and pressed it against a metal surface that I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs that I was so looking forward to. I did so! Awesome!!! Sparks, a blue arc of electricity, and a loud pop!!! Yipeeee... I'm easily amused, just for your information, but I have yet to explain to my wife whatt he burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, etc. etc. There I sat in my recliner, my dog looking on intently (trusting little soul), reading the directions (that would be me, not the dog) and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood target. I must admit I thought about zapping the dog for a fraction of a second and thought better of it. She is such a sweet pup, after all. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger. I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? Was I wrong to think that? Seemed reasonable to me at the time. So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, tazer in the other. The directions said that: A one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; A two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a loss of bodily control; A three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water... All the while I'm looking at this LITTLE device (measuring about 5 inches long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference, pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy bitsy AAA batteries) thinking to myself, "no friggin' way!" Friggin' way -- trust me, but I'm getting ahead of myself. What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best. I was sitting there alone, the dog looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it buddy," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny lil' ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. (sound, rational thinking under the circumstances, wouldn't you agree?) I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the hell of it. (Note: You know, a bad decision is like hindsight - always 20/20. It is so obvious that it was a bad decision after the fact, even though it seemed so right at the time. (Don't ya hate that?) I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY ****** !!!!! I'm pretty sure that Jessie Ventura ran in through the front door, picked me up out of that recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, soaking wet, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position. The dog was standing over me making sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!" NOTE: If you ever feel compelled to mug yourself with a tazer, one note of caution.... There is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself! You're not going to let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by violent thrashing about on the floor. Then if you're lucky, you won't jam one of the prongs 1/2 inch deep in your thigh like yours truly. SON-OF-A-BISQUIT- EATER that hurt! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at this point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get there?? My triceps, right thigh and both titties were still twitching... and I swear I smelled burning flesh and hair.. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, as my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs give or take an ounce or two, I'm pretty sure. By the way has anyone seen my testicles? I think they rolled away. I'm offering a reward. They're round rather large. Miss'em.... sure would like to get'em back. It's good to know that the wife will be safe from stupid assailants..... --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have made several potatoe bags, and soup bowl holders, and have only had one person say their bag had a few dark marks, along with a small burnt spot, where one of the seams were sewn. Thinking it was just marks on the fabric, as maybe there had been some food source on the outside of the bowl, and she attempted to hand wash it out, then realised that it was definitely the start of a burn situation. She had placed two potatoes in the soup bowl holder and set it for 6 minutes.....no wonder it started to get so hot and she tossed it into the garbage, Some of the holders I originally made, I used 100% cotton, wrapped with polyester,,,,I since hearing her story make all items to use in the microwave with 100% cotton, fabric, batting and thread, I also include a card to indicate no longer than 2 minutes of cooking time per item. Here are instructions to make a potatoe bag. Cut one 9 x 20 inch rectangle each of the outer fabric, lining fabric and batting. 2. Place the outer fabric and lining fabric, right sides together and batting against wrong side of the lining fabric. Press the outer fabric lengthwise in order to have a center line - see #3 3. On your batting - Using a ruler mark a line across and down from the top at 6" - (use this line so your points will match in the middle at the top of the flap and line up evenly across the bag), and then trim at a 45 degree angle from the center fold, to the outside edge on each side. Stitch around all sides, leaving a 3"opening for turning. Trim the excess batting, and clip corners. Turn right side out, poke all corners and point. Stitch opening closed. You can quilt your bag, before you proceed. Or Not. Fold the bottom up to within one inch of your outside points and stitch the sides, to create a bag. Launder before using your new potatoe and vegetable bag.

Good Saturday afternoon from wet/rainy and cool (54 F.) Texas. I was up at 4:30 this morning, out of the house by 5:15, and heading to the Houston Zoo at 6:30 for St. Jude's 1st annual Thanks & Give walk. We had 300 of the 500 registered people show up in the pouring rain today to walk for St. Jude. I was shivering and shaking working registration, but it warmed my heart to see so many turn out and turn in huge amounts of money they'd raised for walking. I met Emmanuel, a precious 8-yr. old boy who lost his left eye to neuroblastoma last year. His 'fan club' was there to walk with him and they all dedicated their walk to him. I worked the bib dedication table where people filled out their "I am thankful for....." bib before pinning it on for the walk, and I was really touched by many of the dedications. Afterwards, the volunteers moved everything over to the 'after-party' where everyone ended up to have breakfast and receive their incentives for walking. I think a nap is in my near future, but I had to check online before doing that. Donna, I hope you can start posting more often. Pray for 'uneventful' vibes! Suzanne, maybe you'll sneak in a ride today after finishing your chores? And, what a cute message from hubby! Hey, BJ! I've been missing you. Hurry back and get the wonderful support you've been needing. Maddie, you howl the HB song better than anyone I know, girl! Well, a nice warm bed is calling me, so y'all be good!

Linda, Time is marching on for me too although I caught myself saying dogs instead of dog the other day and broke down, Other than that I've been staying strong. I really like your spooky village! Did you get it at Michaels?? I have 2 buildings from the Michaels line but I don't really decorate for halloween so much. We don't get too many kids here anymore...mostly big obnoxious kids who barely wear a costume LOL!! Annie, Happy Birthday to Amanda and The Princess!! I love the ketchup/mustard idea!! Too cute!! Giane, I love apple butter with pretzels! Enjoy the craft fair-didn't you say there were several craft fairs over the next couple weekends?? Katie, OUCH!! Poor hubby-Poor you!! I will send extra healing thoughts your way!! Rhome, Sorry about your friend...I will join you with that cider! Shaun, every year sometime between Christmas and New Years my friend host a "bring all your grub" party where everyone bring all those little bits of cheese trays, lunch meats, casseroles, sweets ectleft over from Christmas...its really a lot of fun!! Barnmom, Costume changes?? LOL What fun!! Hope you have fun dishing out treats to the wee ones at your friends house!! Sharon, Have fun at the pub...I already made soup so I am staying in!! Gina...that is some devil dog LOL!! Today was fun fun fun!! I took Helenes advice and went over to our target area very early to see what the traffic was like. It took me 19 minutes to get there from my job!! Of course there was NO TRAFFIC since EVERYBODY and their brother was heading INTO Philly for the parade LOL!!! My target area is nearby NJ. So I did see the house from the outside. Very cute!! We'll see if we like it from the inside when we tour it on Sunday. I walked around a bit...even took my mail to the post office there in town and mailed some cards LOL! Then I drove to the battlefield on the river, which is now a National Park (hence the town name National Park). I sat there and read thru some home books. Its really nice to have such a lovely park right there in town!! Tonight I am having one special trick or treater stopping by...dear great neice Alexia!! I don't know what they are dressing her as so it should be fun!! I got her some books and animal crackers!! She is 10 months now and just starting to walk/wobble!! Drew is still at the parade with his girlfriend and her family. Both of us have to work tomorrow-jeez its funny saying that LOL! Sunday we are going on house tours. I hope everyone has a fun Halloween!! Cheers! Susie