My heart goes out to you.I went throught the same thing with my mother several years back, we sold her house,used all that and then she was poverty level,we also had to change facilities. I fought with the state,medicaid,the facilities and doctors till I was blue in the face.She finally got settled in a place,but she was never really happy. I cried after every visit. I will say an extra prayer for you, and just remember to stand your ground,you have more options than the state people are willing to talk about.
Syble

Oh Marlene I hate to hear this for you and her. That's our government. Those that need don't get, and those who don't need do...I pray the Lord shows you which way to go...

I hate to hear this,also. It's just a shame . It's so unacceptable , I can't believe this still goes on .
I wish I had a magic wand I could wave and suddenly strike the Government with intelligence. *Sigh* It'll never happen. My heart goes out to you ....

Marlene, I'm so terribly sorry for what you have to deal with. Moving a parent from their home to a care facility has enough difficulties without having to fight government issues and too much money/not enough money. All so unfair when our parents gave so much all their lives.

Prayers and good thoughts,
and many hugs,
Karen

I'm so sorry for the pain and upset that your mom must be experiencing. I imagine that its exhausting for you as well. My thoughts are with you.
kathy

Could you find a young real estate agent to really work at selling your mom's house. Could you put ads in local paper? If the house sold that would help a lot & she wouldn't have to move. Can you do any quick spruceups to the house or yard to make it appealing. Are you close to another town, maybe put signs up in grocery store or library bulletin board or on telephone poles if that is allowed. Does the house need paint, get siblings together & paint it.Mow around it & add a little color with couple of plants. Ask nursing home if anyone else you can talk to, how about a college or if they have senior services at parks or meals on wheels, if you went to their headquarters you might get better info. Ask librarian if she knows of sources.Ask Chamber of Commerce. I know a lot of times seniors fall through the cracks. Last resort could the house be rented out until economy gets better & would it bring enough income in to keep her where she is. Good Luck!! Jan

Marlene...prayers coming your way, girl...for you, your family and especially your Mom! Oh, "change" is ever so difficult...and jumping thru the hoops is never easy. I will pray for a peaceful adjustment for your Mom & for smoother sailing. Am happy you are there to help her thru this journey in her life. Jeanne S.
p.s. And, darn-it-all, where is that lucky "buyer" for your Mom's house??? Will send good thoughts on that issue, too!

I am so glad my mother sold her house a few years before she had her stroke or I'd would have been telling the same story. We were kind of lucky ... she had about $55,000 in the bank when she had her stroke and went into the nursing home. The hospital's social worker told me, if we had the funds to pay 6 months worth of her nursing home, a better home would accept her. Thank God she had enough to pay for more than a year! When her savings was finally depleted, I applied for state assistance. Because I was taking care of her expenses, they let me keep enough to pay for her co-insurance. I prepaid her funeral expenses prior to applying for state aid too. I received her social security and pension checks but had to pay the bulk of it to the nursing home. They allowed her less than $50 for personal expenses. Most of that went to pay for her phone at the nursing home. I bought her any clothes or personal things out of my own money.

You know what? I was forever thankful that there was state assistance. I don't know what we would have done if we (my two siblings and I) would have had to pay for the nursing home ourselves. People I know grumble that my mother gave away her life savings but I'm just glad she had quality care and was comfortable during her last years on earth. For me, the money meant nothing.

You and your mother will be in my prayers that her house sells quickly and you can get her into a wonderful facility where she will be safe and happy.

Hugs,
Kathy

Thanks ladies for the support....sometimes we just need to hear that others hear us and care! I appreciate the prayers and the continued concern.....I'm thinking a bit more clearly today since I slept for the first time in a week!

Oh, and Sunnyca,
I was going to email you, but you don't have an email listed on your page. My mom is already in an assisted living facility...has been for over three years. We are having to move her to another place since she can no longer pay out-of-pocket for the place she's in. They don't participate in gov't programs. We completely renovated her house when she went in so that it would be more livable....we had to mortgage it as well to pay for the major repairs and to pay for her asst. living fees...we have a friend who has it listed for us, but the market has been so bad here for houses. Thanks for all of your suggestions though....sounds like we think a lot alike when it comes to getting things done!

Marlene,
I am sooo sorry that things haven't gone well. Have you considered a reverse mortgage? Or is that something you have already checked into? I have been discussing these things with my parents for quite some time now and we seem to agree that this may be the way to go for them. Maybe it would work in your circumstance. I will continue to pray for you all and everyone here as I have done since I started coming here. Take care!

Carrie

Here is a link that might be useful: Maybe this will help explain how it works....

Glad you got a good night's sleep finally!! I just put all those ideas out there as sometimes we are so close to situation we can't see any solutions. I knew your mom was in a home but didn't know she couldn't be on aid & be there. I've had friends I've helped through some of this stuff. 1 thing when you have to move your mom try to get place close enough where you or siblings can check on her often, that way you can keep an eye on how she is being treated. Sounds like you are doing everything you can, be careful of reverse mortgage it could be of help but read the fine print as you don't want to end up having to pay money out of your pocket. Good Luck & continuing prayers that it will work out soon!! Jan

Thanks again....in order to have a reverse mortgage, you have to be living in the home at the time the mortgage is obtained...so not an option for us.