I have lots of Hollyhock seeds, not plain yellow, but will send you a list if you are interested. I have some unusual ones. I need statice seed. Email me and I'll send you a list of what I have, maybe there is something else you need.

Good morning everyonbe. Still no package, and no mail today as we all know it's a holiday. We have been sleeping in so much later these last few days, that not sure we'll hear the alarm tomorrow when it's time to get up for school! My granddaughter had off as of Friday. I better get in the habit since I may be going back to work real soon...sooner rather than never! LOL Mary Ellen, I don't blame you for being partial to the photos. I would be proud as well. Dianne, I can't tell you the number of times I would "remmeber" something, anything...especially that stuff I package up and put in containers in the freezer! LMAO....sometimes it's a defrost everything to determoine what it is. Or defrost what you think were mashed p potatoes and find out it was buttercream icing! My promise to myself this year was to label everything, but I don't always. oh well. One time I had a box take the longest time. When it came down to it, it was never mailed as a priority box, so it took a longer time to get here, perhaps Vina that is what is happeneing? I'm still experiencing great problems with GW. I type to a blank page and then minutes later, the words appear. As of now, I see the paragraph where I mention MaryEllen. It will be minutes before anything else appears and then I have to go back and fix typos. So strange, not sure why this is happening. Spring, plesae come soon, I can no longer take this cold. Have a great Monday! Maryanne

bnicebkind - thank you for your accurate and kind depiction of how it feels: "walking on eggshells, unsure of what to say, for fear that she will pull away again". I have no one to blame. I don't consider myself a victim. It is how it is. There is something important here for me to learn. My wife hopes to work out her emotional problems - may be soon, may be in a few years. She says: "I appreciate your patience, but if it seems like too much for you - do as you like. I can't promise anything. I live one day at-a-time". Naturally, she is trying not to burn bridges and to keep all her options opened. She had suffered earlier in her life being in a long relationship with a married man (an oligarch). Perhaps, as a single mom, she felt she had to stay in this relationship longer than she otherwise would. She mistrusts men. In a way, now situation is a mirror image to what sheÂs got accustomed to. There is still suffering, she still, as before, is both alone and in a relationship, and, as before, is unable to make a decision about the relationship. Except now she feels more in control. She says that I invoke an uncontrollable reaction in her (the root of which she is hoping to uncover with the therapist). Hypnosis produced evidence that she perhaps was abused by her father. Her latent father and I have lots of similarities (I never saw his picture). As an oldest child she felt she wasnÂt loved enough by her parents. Trying to win their love she became an overachiever. Her relationship with her mother is strained. It seems, an aggressive opposition of her self to what she perceives a hostile world outside is a major part of her defense mechanism. The root, perhaps, is in her own opinion of herself: "I thought that I couldnÂt be useful to anyone anymore in this life. My daughter is a grown-up now and no longer needs me, and I havenÂt learned to do good to anyone else. I donÂt know how to love; I bring suffering to others and suffer myself. But suicide is not an option either  for the price for that is worse than that for the useless existence". So, perhaps, she is afraid that the Âtruth about her will get uncovered by those who get close to her. She doesnÂt want them to neither know nor suffer. She is proud. But I love her because I see the inner beauty in her. She is a neglected woman-child for me.

Trailrunner, your home is just so beautiful and it seems to be full of who you are as a person. I don't know your story but I too have one of my own. The sentence that began "All any of us can do" really spoke to me today and I don't even know what words I can say to thank you for them. I don't mean for this to be an OT not by any means, but I try to surround myself with things that are attractive to me. The beauty might be in the character of your unupholstered chair or the unknown history of memazz's bowling pins or a painting that tells a story to me. My family doesn't understand the importance decorating has in my life, and luckily doesn't really have any influence on what I do - I couldn't imagine that battle. For me, it is the desire to surround myself with things that I find beautiful and items that evoke happy memories that dictates what I do. My rooms would not be in any magazine and pale in comparison to rooms I have seen in this blog (like your dining room) but adding something or altering a room bringing it closer to being "me" is what I strive for. Sitting in a chair in my LR, with my coffee, watching the cat as she sleeps next to "my" chair - no one else likes the color but I think it is "gorgeous" - with the colors of the vase (which I picked out just knowing that it would cast the most magnificent shadow) in the window beginning to creep upon her fur is more beautiful than any diamond I could own. So again, without meaning for this to be OT - I tend to look at people's rooms as more than what is "correct" as to how much of their personality is there. So many of your pieces from the stories you have told seem to tell some of the stories of your life. Do you like I, place what may be to most people, a greater desire to surround yourself with things that elicit positive thoughts. I find that not many people understand that it is more than just accumulating or matching "things". How much does ingesting your personality matter when you are designing a room?