SHOP PRODUCTS
Houzz Logo Print
cheerpeople

Thanks for dumping your pet near our farm

cheerpeople
16 years ago

I love it when you dump your pets!

Dear towny,

Let me thank you for your generous gift. The 4 mo old pet you dumped on the road is now at my house. I am thrilled!

Thank you for bringing me your potentially diseased, unvaccinated, un- neutered pet. We are partial to the ones you dump that are inbred, dumb as a box of rocks, behavior problems, abused and skittish. Of course now that they are in the country they have all the skills necessary to survive. Their instincts will keep them from dehydration and starvation, right? How about this winter when itÂs 20 below zero? Are they going to make it then?

IÂd love to spend my free time trapping / chaining your pet until the pound arrives. I love having distemper on my farm, infecting the kidÂs pets. I love feeding animals I didnÂt ask for. IÂll love it again next month when your neighbor dumps his, and the month after that y'all are so generous!

IÂve always wanted a pet as ugly as yours. IÂve never considered getting a certain Âlook or breed. And Oh IÂve got nothing but time IÂd love to care for your pet while IÂm at work or on vacation.

We country folks get to see your gifts smashed to the pavement near where you dumped them. We know the inside scoopÂthe turkey vultures find your pets delicious.


Signed,

country folks telling it like it is

Comments (15)