Gardening: a passion for dirt

15 years ago

To continue a theme: a garden is the place for romance love and lust, some while ago there was a thread on the Garden Writers forum entitled "The Karma (sic) Sutra of Gardening" it's on page 12 or 13. Elizabeth (Dr Leda Hor ticulture) wrote this.

"At last spring has arrived, and I return to the Garden. Slowly I plunge my shovel into the soft, dark brown earth. She yields and crumbles, tumbling beneath the spade like wayward crumbs of rich moist devil's food cake. The shovel rises, and dips again, like a spoon into a flute of ephemerally fluffy sweet chocolate mousse. I scoop out mounds of dark bitter fudge marbled with Belgian Genoise, uncovering clusters of rich creamy caramel and chunks of crunchy pecans hiding beneath the surface. The dirt dribbles to the ground like warm milky syrup over hot pastry, a wickedly rich pain au chocolat. My knees grow weak.
Succumbing to temptation, I discard the shovel and fall to the earth, kneeling among hazlenut truffles and bits of broken toffee scattered throughout the fudge. I sink my hands into dreamy clouds of chocolate sponge cake enveloped in Grand Marnier chocolate ganache. I caress the essence of Original Sin: mint, amaretto, cappuccino, raspberry puree. I embrace layers of moist French chocolate complemented by the slight tang of orange zest. I bury my face in divinity, ribbons of double fudge laden with chips of dark chocolate swirl across my lips. My thighs are lost to the fertility of coconut and marshmallow, plump mouth-watering raisins, walnuts with succulent blood-red cherries bursting with sweetness and soaked in the darkest of rums. I am coated with dark thick bittersweet rich brown earth. Lying face down in the garden, I find contentment"

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Comments (8)

tibs
15 years ago
Geeze, all I know is I was told I wasn't happy unless I had dirt under my fingernails.
duluthinbloomz4
15 years ago
Slowly I plunge... reminiscent of the old Vaudeville "slowly I turn" schtick or, better yet, on a higher plain like the ecstasy of Theresa of Avila.

But seriously, face down in the dirt inhaling the chocolate eupatorium? I don't know.
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karinl
15 years ago
Given that the little treasures I find in the dirt are mostly cat poop, I find the food analogy a little.... hmm. I guess I'm just not romantic enough.

KarinL
duluthinbloomz4
15 years ago
Having just done a slow plunge into a fun-sized Snickers, I came to understand the thread's intent to demonstrate sensory joy. My own dream is to lie down beside a path of M&M colored pebbles only to be roused from my stupor by the sun spitting daylight in my face. Oh, I forgot, I'm face down.
wellspring
15 years ago
"A steamy, provocative read..."
- The New York Thymes

"Shame on you! One shouldn't say such titillating things about gardening. Our local Garden Club couldn't stop talking about itÂGeorge, dear, do you mind if we have chocolate cake tonight instead of apple pie?"
- Augusta "Gussie" Uptight, concerned Garden Club member

Warning: Chocolate soil and its variations--toffee, nuts, creamy fudge--is not recommended for culinary use. Diabetics, hyper-active children, and persons name "Joe" should particularly avoid ingestion.
- The Surgeon General
catkim
15 years ago
The last time I was found face-down in the dirt, I had consumed something much stronger than chocolate...

That was good for a laugh, thanks.
Embothrium
15 years ago
Had anyone commented on your condition, you could have responded by exclaiming "Look at thish great tilth!".
isabella__MA
15 years ago
I work routinely with geologists, and they do have a real passion for dirt's precursor -- rocks. It's fun watching someones face light up when they spot 1-million year old rocks, but difficult to try to change the subject.

Gardening: a passion for dirt

Comments (8)

tibs

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