Needing to advise teenage son on careers in building.....
shead
2 years ago
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doc5md
2 years agoOne Devoted Dame
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Need lots of help and advice, (Young New Teenage pond owner)
Comments (18)will the sand affect my pond life? Yes, but probably not a lot. Certain kinds of life, animal and plant, will make the sand home if they make it to your pond. What plant life should I add to feed my fish and welcome in other wildlife like frogs and dragonflies? That really depends on the person. I like to add any plant I can and see how it does. It stays if I like it. That's how I learn. So for me I'd try any plant, and I'd try it different ways...in water, in soil, in sun, in shade, etc., to learn how it grows. Duckweed is a plant fish will eat directly, but after they've eaten it all it's gone. So if you want an on going duckweed food source you have to protect some or easier imo is growing it in a separate shallow pond. But a more important food source is all the life in a pond, mainly insects. They eat the plants and the fish eat the insects. So all plants really feed fish indirectly. Dead, rotting plant material feeds insects the best. But many people don't like that in their pond...so it's really best to decide what kind of pond you want...Wildlife Pond, Water Garden or Koi Pond. That determines how plants are used. You can try one and if you don't like it you can change to another pretty easy or some pond in between. the water looks a little murky. (BONUS QUESTION) Is there any way to clean that up? It's pretty simple to clear up water but only after you know what's causing it to be murky which is the complex part. There are lots of filters and methods to removing different things so the filter has to be matched to the stuff being removed. One pretty universal murky clear is a 24/7 drip water change system. A drip emitter runs 24/7 into the pond and an overflow takes away the extra water. I plan on heading over to a local park nearby and yanking out a couple of cattails and whatever else I find interesting, I highly doubt it's illegal and the poor little stream that leads to the enormous carp pond is choking with all the vegetation. (OH! I know that these plants will probably have other bacteria and algae and critters on or in it, is there any way to clean them without killing them? There are chemical baths you can use, including chlorine and similar oxidizers. They aren't super effective imo. The question is do you want to do that or are all these critters something you want? You see this goes back to deciding what kind of pond you want. A Koi Pond owner with thousands of dollars worth of koi would never allow any plant within 10' of their pond. Their focus is koi and the risk of pathogen form plant would be unacceptable. At the other end of the pond spectrum a Wildlife Pond owner would welcome all those "pathogens". It's a matter of perspective. To these pond keepers "pathogen" is just another name for "life". That's what natural ponds are, life. Stuff killing and eating other stuff. I want to make sure the plants are settled before getting fish, but I heard that a certain string? Algae is a pain to get rid of, does that grow in zone 9?) You don't get rid of algae, you control it. Just like you weed a garden. Algae grows in all zones, from the poles to the equator. There are thousands of species. ...since I live in zone 9 in one of the cities that borders the Rio Grande, Does anyone have any recommendations for the type of plants I might want to scavenge for, how to transport and transplant them from the stream into my pond, and what no-no plants I should try to avoid? Giant Reed, Arundo donax, is a spectacular plant you can probably find. It's an aggressive grower, makes bamboo look like Pussy Willow. I don't believe there is such a thing as a no-no plant. They're plants, you're a human. I have to assume you can win any battle. Ponds are just like any garden. If you tend it you win. If you go away and come back in a year the plants win. (If I find any I kind of want some duckweed... is this a no-no plant? Will keeping the growth at bay turn into an overwhelming hassle for my medium-small sized pond?) Depends on how much hassle you consider keeping a pond is. For me it's a joy. And whether your fish.eat it. I want goldfish!! I hear commits are really friendly, but what other species can I add? Can someone supply a list? Oh, and how many can I add? (I was thinking about 6-8 fish total) Common, Comets, Shubunkin, Wakin. The fancy kinds can look a little out of place. I've had some of these because friends need to get rid of "pets" sometimes. They look a little odd to me when mixed with other kinds. Like when you feed them the others swim over fast and the Fantail seems to struggle to swim 10'. But the fancy ones seemed to do fine but need exact protection from streams, skimmers, etc., as they're not strong swimmers.. The Common, Comets and Shubunkin are also often crossed. Like a Comets and Shubunkin to get a Shubunkin with a long tail. Commons get the biggest, more than 12" and over 3' sometimes although these may be koi crosses. (Even numbers so they can have a buddy system, but not like Nohas ark, they can only be friends!! No babies!!... okay maybe a few so I can add them to future smaller water features around the garden...) You can post a sign explaining breeding rules but goldfish are either not very good readers or not very good rule followers (even worst than teenagers). which leads me to the after thought question... Can different species of goldfish mate? I mean.. they are still goldfish... Yes. When different kinds of goldfish breed the result is considered a goldfish too. Goldfish can also breed with koi. I know that bottom feeders won't eat all the gunk that will eventually fill the bottom, (I can't blame them) But are there any fish that I can add that will eat the bottom pellets? (Like catfish maybe, or something cooler/cuter) Pellets, as in sinking food pellets? Goldfish, koi, catfish, pretty much any fish will eat food on the bottom. There are terms like "bottom feeder" but that's just a general type thing. Like catfish will spend most of their time on the bottom but will eat food on the surface just like a goldfish or koi. And they will come a running when they see you just like goldfish and koi. As for gunk...bacteria lives there, bugs too which eat the bacteria, bigger bugs that eat the smaller bugs and fish root around in there looking for bugs to eat. It's a whole cycle thing. Gunk on the pond bottom is basically soil, or stuff on it's way to becoming soil. Nothing removes it completely, just like nothing removes soil completely. Stuff lives in it, eats some growing in it, breaks it down into better and better soil (from a plant's perspective). Oh, and is Walmart a smart place to buy these babies at? (I'm sure most are familiar with the store...) My only other option is PetCo... Are they a good option? I don't want to buy bad fish... but I would feel terrible if I had to take a fish back because it was sick or it got the others sick... There not really anything like a "good" store to by goldfish. Here's how it wroks. The store orders fish from a grower. The grower has a bunch of ponds with different kinds of fish. The grower puts a bunch of fish into a box and sends it to the store. The store dumps the box of fish into a big tank. An employee gets a net and scoops out a few of the the prettier fish and puts these into separate tanks. Like for instance some Shubunkins would go into a tank labeled "Shubunkin $4.95". And some orange and white Comets will often be labeled "Sarasa $4.95" even though they aren't actually Sarasa. The rest in the big tank are labeled "Feeder Goldfish 20 for $1". When customers buy $4.95 fishes the clerks grab a net and scoop a few more nicer looking fish out of the feeder tank and into the $4.95 tanks. People just assume when they see 10 fish in a nice aquarium at eye level that they must be higher quality and healthier fish than the horrible feeder fish tank. It's just marketing and logistics. You can often find very nice looking Shubunkins and Comets in the feeder tank. It just depends on what they get in. Growers don't care since it's just as easy to grow Commons or Comets or Shubunkins. They'll send whatever they have. The fancy goldfish may be shipped in separate containers. This is not to say all fish are healthy. In my experience 50% of feeder fish died in the first 24 hours. And in most stores they also don't last long either. Yes, you can quarantine them, you can treat them for parasites, etc. Depends on the kind of pond you want to keep. Most ponds I've had I only used feeder goldfish. Set up a quarantine tank and buy $10 worth of meds to treat $1 worth of fish...not me. I just put them into the pond and hope for the best. But that's me. I do want to hand feed my fish. I know the risks of them getting hurt by other animals but I have 3 small dogs that scare away all cats and wild animals, but are really just yapping balls of harmless fur. Pretty much all kinds of fish can be trained to be hand fed. Takes them a few times to get the idea but once they do they're trained. The 3 small dogs...I hate to impugn the K9 reputation for diligence but all that yapping..yeah, that's mostly for your benefit. When you're not around and the Herons are having brunch the dogs are really unlikely to do more than blink at the carnage. The Herons aren't hurting anything...it's not like they're doing something horrible like squeezing a squeaky toy. They're just eating all of your fish. Big woop. Now if the dogs happen to hear you at the front door then sure, they'll be off like a rocket to tear that Heron a new beak, jumping through plate glass windows, busting down doors, whatever it takes to impress you and keep those treats flowing....See MoreI Need a New Career
Comments (20)first I wanted to say I was so happy to see you post, assuming you were around here & Garden Party at the beginning??? It's been a very longtime! I don't have much time to drop by here thou I do read thru the posts about once a week and comment couple times a month. I can't say much to the coding job, I would recommend a LabTech or Medical Lab Tech field thou. I am interested in changing fields soon, my hearts desire is something along Canine Massage therapy but for $$ sake I may go back to Microbiology area. I would go back to college since it's been 20 yrs since I graduated w plant Sciences-Biology. I want to go back to Microbiology but I don't need to work fulltime and would like to control my schedule more. my sis who has been an MLT for 20+ yrs and is a hospital lab supervisor advised me to go towards Genetics or MLT. I have several friends also in MLT/MT in Chicago & Indy and they make after 20+ yrs $30+ pr hr. Starting is around $15pr hr in big cities like Chicago. My DH went back to college 10 yrs ago part-time changing from Computer Science to Mechanical Engineer. 5 years ago he quit working to finish his honors BS and start an MS. He completely finished May 2012 while working part-time for 2 yrs as a project engineer for City of Orlando. He just took an awesome job in Tampa for a huge tele-comm co as an Engineering Project Manager. It took 8 months to find and get this job! Job hunting is not for the faint of heart nor those who are in dire financial straits, in the professional world job applicants spend on average 3 months going thru the process per job. We did that for 4 yrs LOL! I would ONLY recommend going back to school if you KNOW you can make as much $$ in 1 year as you owe in loans. My DH earned an honors BS w a near perfect GPA and had the 2nd highest GPA in the MS program. MOST employers screen resumes by GPA now, even my sis (several friends too who work for this large national co) has been required to submit ALL academic records to her employer from the past 25 yrs, it is now standard practice for future raises. Make sure you can excel at what you choose to make it financially feasible. Good Luck! ~ liz...See MoreMother of Estranged Teenage Son
Comments (22)I have not seen my 14yr old son since September 2015. This is because my now ex-husband, had me arrested for allegations of assault to injury on both him and our son. I believe that this happened because approximately 3 weeks prior to my arrest I had given my husband an ultimatum that if things hadn't changed in our marriage by the time we returned from a family holiday in the October that we would be over. We had at that time been married for 13yrs and our son was 12yrs old. Our marriage had been awful for almost the entirety of it but I tolerated things as I thought it was best for our son. My husband was a sociopath and narcissist. He was emotional abusive to me, offered no support in parenting our son, was catty and sarcastic to my older son from a previous marriage. He hacked my mobile, email and social media and basically had me left with no confidence or self-esteem. He contributed very little financially towards the running of the family home and I paid for 7 yearly holidays abroad and he contributed nothing other than some spending money. He very much was manipulative of our son, particularly against me. He allowed our son, latterly, to speak to me disrespectfully and threaten me with hitting me etc. He did nothing to intervene. To cut a very long story short, the case went to court (despite there being no medical evidence to back up his claims) and my lawyer said that my ex-husband "hood-winked" the Sheriff into believing his fabricated evidence. My son's evidence was very distressing to hear as he became extremely distressed whilst giving evidence (behind a scree) and was in tears saying he couldn't remember things. Unfortunately the Sheriff took his upset as evidence that he was having to relive the abuse. I was found guilty and following background reports and character references the Sheriff when I was in court for sentencing stated that "having read the numerous character references and background report he had a better insight into the situation and that it was clear I was a loving mother". I was given a 12month supervision order in February 2017. From the date of my arrest until the date I was sentenced I was on bail with a condition attached whereby I was not allowed to contact my son and only allowed to see him if he requested it. My husband, who is an IT officer, disconnected all of my side of the family to whom my son was exceptionally close, effectively cutting off everyone from my son's life. A few weeks ago my older son and I spotted that my son's name appeared on social media (having previously been blocked) and so my older son has finally managed to make contact and subsequently had conversations and video chats with him. I have too managed to see his details and I have sent him a private message just letting him know that I have thought about him every day and will always be there for him should we ever want or need me. I also told him I hoped he was ok and that I missed and loved him always. As yet I have not had a reply but I will hope and pray that eventually he will. My divorce came through last week so I am pleased about that but my heart breaks for not having seen my son in all this time. We, incidentally had a very close relationship right up until the day of my arrest. My husband clearly wanted to destroy me because I had finally stood up to him and stated that I wasn't tolerating his treatment of me any longer. Being able to read on this forum of others having gone through similar is very, very helpful....See MoreTeenage stepdaughter....need of a miricle
Comments (11)doodle, you are right, my SD's mom doesn't work (never has) and moved for a guy she just met, yet she is always 'too busy' to come pick up her daughter and when her daughter is there, she leaves her with BF's parents because they have 'plans' and when SD calls her, she is constantly trying to get off the phone, telling SD to 'call me back in an hour' and when she does, she gets the voice mail. So, it's not a case of moving for a job or even a husband and she used to be very involved with her girls before she left. She complains that WE don't keep her informed. Well, it's the parent's responsibility to keep themselves informed of their kids' life. We send her school bulletins & information, but it's her responsibility to go to the school and talk with teachers or show an interest. She doesn't hardly talk to her daughter... going to the school might shock me. My point isn't that parents should never move away and that there aren't good reasons. I think finedreams and her ex co-parented from different countries (if I remember correctly) and distance doesn't have to be a barrier. But, if the CP is not cooperative and the kids' relationship with the NCP is suffering or if they are being raised in a manner that the NCP feels is harmful, then the NCP has the option to seek custody or move closer to their kids. You cannot be a long distance parent with much control if the CP disregards your input. It's clear that in this case, the CP is doing that and the kids are also rejecting dad's input. Dad has few options. He can let it go and hopefully resume his relationship with his kids when they are older (as adults) if his relationship (or his kid's lives) aren't permanently damaged, or he can move closer and get more involved. It would be great if he and his ex could get on the same page and agree, but it doesn't sound like they agree on much. It's affecting his kids' attitudes toward dad so while mom1sm2 may be lucky to have a cooperative parenting partners in her situation, it's more difficult to have that when one person doesn't want it. If it were MY kids, I would not have moved away... but if my ex moved my kids away from me, I would first fight it and if I lost that fight, I would follow my kids because I would not want to be a long distance parent. I do think it is all about priorities and while moving for a job is usually something people use to justify moving away from their kids, I don't think it's always a justification. Personally, I would take a lower paying job to be more involved with my kids. It's a sacrifice I would make. If someone chooses the higher paying job (or just moving for any other reason), then they have less room to complain about how their kids are being raised....See Moreeinportlandor
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