Danielle, on Park Seed ($2.50) they say Limelight plants grow to 3' x 3' but on Specialty Perennials ($3.95) site they say plants grow to only 18" tall. I'm confused...maybe Park Seed is reflecting "size at maturity" in zones 8-11. I know my plants didn't get much over 18" but since they weren't in full sun the stalk laid on the ground reaching for sunlight. Anyway, I'm going to order a new pack of seeds AND dig up the Limelight tubers I've got. I'm going to get that lighter foliage one way or another...LOL. Pat, thanks so much for the seed offer :)...collecting the little black bb's from these plants is fun except I drop more than I catch when I tap or tip the flower cluster! Leslie

Hi Cindee, I got my Santanas several years ago from Dutch Gardens and Van Bourgondien. The first was a substitution and the second was a mislabeled bulb. However, I was ultimately thrilled because this mini blooms several times per year for me. Its scapes yield four flowers each, but the flowering behavior is unusual in that they open two at a time with a significant interval in between. One of my two bulbs has produced a surrounding ring of babies. The other endured some trauma and is recovering. Unfortunately, I haven't seen Santana advertised for sale recently. I self-pollinated Santana earlier today. I also tried dusting another of its flowers with pollen from Misty because they are unexpectedly and profusely blooming. If I get any viable seeds, I promise to let you know. Best wishes for a speedy and full recovery! -Blanca

I was fortunate to view the interesting plant Dipteronia sinensis at Quarryhill Arboretum at Sonoma, CA this past spring. With only a casual glance one would think it was a negundo or henryi. Quarryhill Botanical Garden is a non-profit botanical garden dedicated to advancing the conservation, study, and cultivation of the temperate Flora of Asia. It is a very interesting place to visit. Their collection is at the most only 15 years old, so plants are very young. It will be a spectacular place to visit in 15 years! Their website hosts a very useful Database of Asian Plants in Cultivation. It allows you to find Arboretums throughout the US that have a particular plant. http://www.calacademy.org/research/...yhill/index.asp

What great, thoughtful responses to this very sensitive topic! I can relate to the loss of libido--frankly, we're about a decade younger than the OP and her husband but at 56 YO, I too have come through menopause with a decided lack of interest in sexual activity. There isn't anything physically 'wrong' with me, and my husband is as he always has been a very considerate and giving partner. But truthfully, I don't really care any more about sex and the thought of never having it again wouldn't bother me one bit. However. My husband is still interested, to say the least :). In fact he is more ardent than ever now that birth control isn't an issue, and now that our lives are a bit less stressed and child centered. Then too I do believe that most men experience sexual desire as much more of a physical *need* for release than most women do. In our marriage, both of us are very strong, independent people and as I've often said, the ties that bind us are loose--and unbreakable. We have our own jobs, hobbies and friends in addition to the family life we have built together. Our sexual partnership is for only us. Nobody else can be part of it, nobody else can or will know that part of our marriage. So at this season of my life, our sex life is what helps cement our bond, while it keeps our connection strong. And now to I'm sure no one's surprise I must address the problem the OP wanted to discuss; having a partner tell you that unless you do X, Y or Z sexually you won't be getting something you want badly. This quote says so much: "But, I'm sorry your husband has resorted to extortion to get what he wants. If you simply capitulate that clearly marks you as subordinate." Once again, living in a relationship in which a woman does not have her own resources means the risk of becoming subordinate is huge. I cannot imagine being dependent on anyone to the level of him even being able to think what the husband expressed. Regardless of where the thought is coming from, I agree it is extortion and it is despicable. How very sad too, living in a marriage in which a husband has the power and financial authority to do this. I would never, never, never live like that. I"m sure there are many levels of complexity that can't be shared in an online forum. The the OP, I truly hope you can find your way to a compromise that leaves each of you feeling respected and loved, even if it isn't in the house you want or doing the sex acts he does. Ann