Be Happy September 3 · When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison. 2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it. 3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles. 5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late. 6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago. 7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. 8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers. 10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?" 11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing. 12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever. 13. I run like the winded. 14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on. 15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?" 16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery? 17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited. 🤣🤣🤣

Thanks, folks, for yer Thanksgiving feast offered to this furriner this after-noon! o j (When I had to change first letter in "this", it did it O.K. - but when I changed the last letter and didn't hit "space" and "delete" - it ddidisdisadisapdisappdisappedisappeadisappeardisappearedisappeareddisappeared). (didn'didn't hit "space" after my period - sorry, ladies). (When I did the edit there were three lines of "disappeared" - eenendendiendinending in the c9mplete word, plus bracket and period). o j - still here, (I think) E T A: If you're using a phone, turn it sideways. o j

nicole, I laughed at your joke. I remember how I would try on the ladies fur coats that had been tossed on the bed when my parents had parties. It was my job to carry the coats upstairs, then I had my own little fashion show.

I'm wondering, eld - did you stand there holding that fork long enough to have those strands of spaghetti freeze? Hope you were well bundled up! o j