How are the community colleges in your area?
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- 24 days agolast modified: 24 days agoElmer J Fudd thanked martinca_gw sunset zone 24
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When your kid goes off to college...
Comments (37)Sue, Your response reminded me more of myself! I was constantly at odds with my parents - they thought I spent way too much time in front of the mirror working on my hair and only wanted to be with my friends. (Hey this was 1979, remember Farrah hair). I'll never forget the day they took me to college. My younger brother had a peewee football game and we couldn't leave until it was over. I was so pissed because I wasn't going to get there till very late afternoon - well after everyone else had moved into the dorm and I was furious that my parents just couldn't see how important this was to me - who cares about DB's football game? Geez! By the time we got there and they unpacked me, we weren't even speaking. It didn't help that all my roommates were sitting around smoking cigarettes and I hadn't told my parents I had signed up for the smoking dorm. I thought I would be insured of rooming with some cool girls if they smoked!! (remember this was 1979, and yes, they were right in my mind it was all about me, but my roomies were very cool and we had lots of fun :-) Long story short, our relationship improved dramatically with a little distance and me having a little more control over my life. So, look upon your kids' attitudes as their excitement of getting out on their own, not that they don't love or appreciate you. My senior is really looking forward to going off to college, and quite honestly, while I'll miss him, I'm looking forward to it too! My laundry, mess, crap laying around etc. went down dramatically with the exit of DS1, I'm almost giddy at only having to cleanup after one remaining DS once DS2 goes off to school. Of course, I have to admit, my kids don't go far to school - they live on campus but it's at Ohio State which is in Columbus - 5 miles from where we live. So while they're out of my hair, they still stop by or come home frequently. So I guess that's why I'm not too sad to have one gone and one out the door - they're just across town! :-)...See MorePaying for Your Childrens' College
Comments (27)My ex- went through Univ. on scholarship from her Dad's aircraft plant, that had closed down shortly after WWII. She achieved top marks, so may have merited other scholarships through some of her 4 years at Iowa State and Cornell. She, a canny Mid-westerner, graduated with some cash on hand. I had 3 yrs. at Univ. of Saskatchewan, provincial school, so low tuition, especially back in the late 40s, then 3 yrs. (liberal Protestant) seminary, minimal if any tuition. Dad agreed to cover my costs, but I knew that he was saving to put down payment on a farm, or, later, to pay off mortgage, so, after spending first summer at home, worked during the summers, two of them (required) as summer student minister in small churches (only open in summer) and two doing other work (that paid better). Had several money-raising tasks during the school year, including a stint of 3-students to a room (usually 2), managing the phone room, waiting tables, acting as agent for a laundry, cutting hair, etc. When I asked Dad for money, I always got it. He said that if we wanted to farm, we could farm with him, and have it when he retired, or if we wanted to go to school, he'd put us through as far as we wanted to go (as long as we played fair and kept our nose to the grindstone, implied). But that would be all that we'd get - the ones who stayed on the farm would get that. In the event, on his death, farmer brother got more land, but I and my dead brother's kids got one piece of land each, and the financial assets were split equally. As the ex- and I had split when our kids were small, we each contributed to their three/four years of Univ., about 1/3 by her, 1/3 by me and 1/3 by the kid involved, I think. Neither of them actually followed through on the field in which they were trained, son in journalism (he went into sales for a time, later entertainer), daughter in hotel management (getting B. Comm.) she worked as liaison between her school and potential employers, fundraiser for women's shelter, office manager for agency helping stop bedwetting (90% success rate, but co. went broke - a shame!). More recently a coach for disemployed/downsized/outplaced/redundant (i.e. fired) people. They have recently received a leg up financially in the world from their mother's estate - she was 9 years younger than I. Good wishes to all of you for effectively managing your money, not only currently, but as you deal with the lifelong needs of your family. Better that you boss your money than the only alternative that I know of ... having it boss you (spoken by someone with 20 years' or so experience as a personal financial advisor)! ole joyful...See MoreCommunicating with your contractor
Comments (11)My hubby and I are the contractors, but we hired a designer at a local remodeling company to do the drawings and advise on the physics, sequence, techniques, etc. The designer thought up some good ideas and was patient with me when I blew off a drawing he had made (and we paid for) but I now have a little list to send to him once our project is done. He needs to improve communication by... 1) asking both husband and wife to sign off on designs and changes--this prevents the casual "oh, by the way, how's this" changes that show up when guys get together. 2) asking clients to show him houses and photos they like and dislike. In our case, he couldn't get "craftsman bungalow" out of his mind--this is the fashion right now, even for new construction. But ours is a 1950s tract house with one major addition in a very modern style. He carefully drew siding shingle variations, belly board-style trim, etc. We don't have the budget to re-do everything, so he was making a bad style marriage. He was sure we would buy a new garage door with molded panel decorations even if the old one was absolutely plain. When we told him we were going to reuse it, he was shocked. Stuff like this was a waste of time and all it did was make me mad at him. 3) using a feedback sheet at various times in the process...."How's it going? Anything bugging you?" 4) outlining the procedures to follow if you're dissatisfied--give them out right from the get-go. For example, we bought windows through him, then had to mess around phoning the manufacturer and then his company when one was flawed and the flaw wasn't caught until after installation. Who to call and when should not be a mystery. 5) Have the contractor sign something that says that he will admit when he is not an expert on something. In our case, we planned the whole kitchen in such a way as to follow his goal of having the vent from the range hood exit on a wall with no gable. This became the tail that wagged the dog, since the stove is in the middle of the addition. All other ideas had to flow from it. Irony is that when the city inspector came, he made us reroute the vent straight up into the roof--a thing the designer tried to avoid--because local code won't allow venting to happen in vicinity of a door. If he had never done this kind of vent before, why didn't he tell us? AARGH! 6) ask for suggestions to help with future clients. In our case, we found that he did not allow enough space for door swings, etc. We almost bought custom bi-folds for a new entry closet before we realized that they would get banged up each time the front door opened. (We've redone closet, will have sliding doors.) He did not anticipate the impact of casement windows entering into a close-by parking area. At short notice we ended up putting in awning windows without much view, but at least no delivery driver would have trouble exiting his vehicle. If the designer learns that there were four door or window swing errors in our plans, it would help him prevent future mistakes. His company is a competent one and is well-thought of in our community. This is not to say that they couldn't improve, though....See MoreSueb20, questions about your son and college ...
Comments (12)Another here with two cents to add. I hear your worry and have watched many young adults go through this. I had a niece change schools having received a basketball scholarship but with a change in coaches and a realization she had a career in mind that school did not offer, she made a change after two years. Many young people are just not ready to choose a career path as seniors in high school, so the college they choose then does not fit when their future becomes clear. The reasons such a huge percent drop out/change schools are as varied as those making the different choices. Our youngest started last year. All the orientation information told us most change in or around freshman year. If a college can keep them into sophomore year, most stay put. With our three the visits we took to each school really solidified their wants. Truth is most students can find their major in hundreds of colleges..for mine it came down to intangibles. They just "felt" more comfortable/at home/liked the school they chose. It was the right fit. Our oldest did not appreciate much about the workings of his University. The professors were not particularly good, the business office could not get his transcript correct, it was a nightmare of fighting for credits and needed classes not offered. But he never once considered changing schools. He was very happy with the life he was living there. In the end he graduated with honors and went on to easily find a job as an electrical engineer. With each one we did not know FOR CERTAIN how they would settle in. Until tested..how does a parent ever KNOW how an off spring will do in these situations? Will they deal with being far from home, or should they be close enough to come home if they want? Is the prestige of a certain school so important to their future career, they are willing to do what ever it takes to be there? Is a smaller more intimate campus more in tune with their personality? Is the debt load they will incur logical given other school choices that would be much less? Our second child chose a very small campus. For a gal who dreams of living in NYC one day I was a bit surprised she didn't go for a larger University. She LOVES IT. She is editor of the paper,does theater productions, writing a blog for her Student Support Services office. Our youngest will graduate in three years due to credits earned in high school. She is already sad. She LOVES everything about college life. She began her search for a school with the attitude I will NEVER consider school at _______. In the end that is exactly where she chose. The campus visits made all the difference. Truth is there is no one path to assure success,both my brother and I took a year off mid way through college..we both changed majors but not schools and finished. If it happens it does not have to be the end of the world. Sometimes the lessons learned in those situations are what that person needed to become who they are to be. Bottom line lesson I learned with three transitioning from high school to college so many of the SO IMPORTANT are not, once the choice is made and their lives have begun. High School, SENIOR YEAR angst looks so silly when looking back from their first visit home from college!!!...See More- 24 days ago
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