tinan, thanks for those pictures. And the detailed instructions. They are very helpful. Thanks to all of the other ideas too. I think we will see what is under the rug, and try to stain the treads first, then move on to Plan B if that looks horrid. I also saw a really cool idea using wallpaper on the risers, Birch Trees, to be exact. He has a big mural of birch trees at the bottom of the stairs and I think doing something like that might be really cool. Would not do wallpaper but thinking about a stencil. [Eclectic Staircase[(https://www.houzz.com/photos/eclectic-staircase-ideas-phbr1-bp~t_745~s_2104) by Portland Design-Build Firms Vanillawood

I'm glad that your FH knows that you spoke with the best man...communication and trust are so important in a happy marriage, IMO. You and your husband should talk to each other about what each of you want to do at your respective parties. After that conversation you should both talk to your respective party planners. Many times bachelor and bachelorette parties are not for the guests of honor (the bride and groom), but just an excuse for their single friends to get out of control and be wild. Neither you nor your FH should feel pressured to have the type of fun neither of you are interested in, regardless of religion or personal beliefs. The wedding party and friends should respect both of you - these parties should be about doing something you two enjoy, not what they want to do! My husband is not a fan of strip clubs. A contingency of his friends really wanted to go to a strip club. My husband told them they could go, but he wasn't going to go. This is what he did for his bachelor party: A group of guys (married and single) went to Reno, NV for the weekend. They played a round of golf at a nice course the first day - all together. In the evening they had dinner and gambled. My husband hates to dance, doesn't like clubs, and didn't want to go to strip clubs. He told the guys - I am going to the craps tables, if you want to come that is where I will be, otherwise go ahead and do what you want - you know where I'll be. Some went to gamble and hang out with him, others took off and did their own thing. Everyone was happy. The second day they played 9 holes of golf, gambled a bit more, and then came home. This is what my DH wanted to do, your FH should get to do what he wants. I had my bachelorette party the same weekend. The girls and I went and had a spa day (manicures, pedicure, facials, and massages) - it was wonderful. After the spa day, my MOH hosted dinner at her house, and paid to have a limo pick us up and take us to San Francisco for dancing (I love to dance). We had a great time - it was exactly what I wanted to do. My DH and I did not see each other during our respective parties, because we weren't even in the same state. We trust each other completely, and both had a great time. It was good for us to have them the same weekend just because of timing - we didn't have that many free weekends before the wedding and a lot of the people that went to the parties were married or dating other people at the other party, so they didn't want to have two weekends apart - so convenient to have them at the same time. I don't think that bacholor or bachelorette parties have to fit a particular "mould" or "tradition" - the tradition is to go out with your friends without your future spouse and have fun. That's it. There is no formula for what defines what is fun except the participants. I actually had two bachelorette parties - one was the one I described above, the other was dinner out at a great restaurant in San Francisco, drinks at a trendy club (no dancing), and talking. It was great. Neither was not the last time I got together with my girlfriends without my husband (and he has hung out with his friends without me since we got married), but it was a great excuse to go out with just the girls and it was the last time I went out with the girls before I got married - such special memories! So, my point: Both of you should do what you want to do - have a great time, and don't worry too much about doing what a few people want you to do - If they want to go to a strip club for a bachelor party, then tell them to get married. They can do that for their bachelor party! ;-)

"Turner, like so many “Bachelor” stars before him, turned out to be not quite as perfect as producers led us all to believe. A day before the finale aired on ABC, the Hollywood Reporter published a story suggesting his reality TV portrayal was deceptively positive. Rather than mourning his wife and living as a monk since her death in 2017, the report alleged, he had dated and lived with another woman for more than a year. He also treated her shabbily, according to THR, criticizing her weight and making her split the check in advance on dates. That “The Bachelor” put such a positive spin on Turner should be surprising to no one who is even remotely familiar with the show, which has a long tradition of propping up handsome if unremarkable (and occasionally downright awful) guys and portraying them as irresistible, impossibly perfect dreamboats. Nor is Turner exceptionally caddish for telling more than one woman he was in love with them — something that has become increasingly common in recent seasons of “The Bachelor.”" https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/tv/story/2023-12-01/golden-bachelor-finale-gerry-turner-leslie

Even actors are real people. This Jerry guy was not dating women, he was by multiple accounts living with one in a more or less committed relationship so not living a forlorn empty life. Not only do they script these shows they reshoot scenes that didn't work. They even do that when people are buying houses. They are all selling a fantasy. It is TV and if it is fun for you good because no one is not on board who is in the show just like any soap opera. You can enjoy the vicarious situations. I have never had the same attitude about the home buyers and renovators since I learned many years ago that it is a total fraud. It injured my wonderment in people buying something that in no way met what they said they wanted. Learning they were told what to say they wanted sort of left me deflated. Oh well, there is still why that ugly house in a flood zone. Do these people actually have sex or do they just pretend?