Lilo, I am so glad. What with getting a couple of new kitties in the next day or two, I felt kind of bad to think you might have lost one. I had one who used to just go off once in a while (Mountain lions were NOT a danger!) and when he came wandering home, tired and hungry, I knew he'd sleep a day or two away.

Truth now, you obviously have had a horrible experience. However, I can assure you that not every memory care facility fits your description. My mother is in the memory care wing of her assisted living facility; she's been there about 3 months now. She takes the same medications, mainly vitamin supplements, she took in her AL apartment. They were all prescribed by her doctor, and none of them have left her in a drugged stupor. Her living situation has improved considerably since she moved into the memory care wing. She's always involved in the activities & crafts. The residents congregate in the big living room to watch TV, play games, etc. There are activity stations in the hallways and a low resident to caregiver ratio. She has her own room with her own furniture and clothes. She gets three good sized meals a day plus three healthy snacks. They go on weekly outings too. I watched my mother's cognitive functions diminish over the years. I have no doubt that she is in a good facility and that her dementia is real, not the result of medications or any of the other things you mentioned. You end with a quote from the Lord. After dealing with my mom's situation, I've told my daughter that when & if the time comes, to never feel guilty about placing me in a similar facility. I'd rather live forever with my full mental & physical capacities. But I know that's not going to happen. There will be hard decisions ahead. Don't rush to judgment and don't be so self righteous. You haven't been a part of this board long enough to really know the people who posted on this thread or their situations. Each one of them is a loving, caring person, trying to do the best for their loved ones and their own well being.

We bought our house from two elderly sisters who were both in nursing homes. They had held off on selling because they had hoped to move back home. They finally realized they had to sell it. Thus, it had been empty for almost 18 months when we first saw it. There were cobwebs hanging off the ceiling, and a few abandoned items here and there. They had owned dogs, and the carpeting smelled of you-know-what. Plus their remodeling taste was decidedly iffy -- when I first walked through the house I told our partner, "This is hands-down THE ugliest house I've ever seen!" But we bought it anyway, and ended up loving it after we gutted the interior and did a complete top-to-bottom remodel. However, since generations of spiders had lived and died in the 2 years before we moved in, it's still clear that they consider this THEIR house, not ours. I still have to fight to keep them at bay, LOL. I keep reminding myself, "They're the good insects...."

Tali, I wanted to say (I'm not sure if I did) that in my remodel I actually went with the KD because the plans were "all done" and then...the cabinets came, and they SUCKED!!! And I can't stress that enough. So many people said "make them work" and I realized how stupid that was :) And started over again. I'm going to have a stunning kitchen, with every bell and whistle, and very very high quality cabinets, and all for around your budget. I'd love to hear that you see someone else and get everything you want, including the special stains, legs, etc. I have every bell and whistle involved, including inset doors (a big upcharge) and I'm using a very high quality cabinet company, Omega Custom, which I'd recommend you look at. They do everything custom (they have lower end lines as well, you can find them on line) but one of the things I love is that the inside stains match the outside, which I really think makes a difference in a high end design (I hate to open a cabinet and see another color or thermafoil). I'm spending about $70M for two bathrooms and a kitchen. I also was able to work in a Lacanche (look at those as well as the one you like because...they're cooler heh heh) and all of the options you are doing away with because of this designer. My tile backsplash...egads have you read the freaking complaining about it???? I'm pushing $70 a sq ft! So I know you can get everything everything everything!!!! you want if you keep searching. I only mention the costs and pushing the issue because, personally I don't care about how much I spend on the kitchen, it's my kitchen and I want what I want. I might not get it all back but I don't care, I want what I want :) But for the kind of money you're willing to spend, if I were to hear that budget for a kitchen, I'd expect to see all of the bells and whistles, including that warming drawer and subzero...(buy the Lacanche and you won't need a warming drawer...they're included) Heh heh Anyhoo, I know how you feel right now, because I've been there, and it totally sucks! But I'd rather see you take that dream design elsewhere and look to other cabinets of very high quality (that's important, I understand) but get all of the goodies as well (pot filler, etc). You can afford that under your budget :) So keep working, and when this is all done, you can enjoy that dream kitchen :) Which you will deserve after this hell is over LOL