going to post a 2nd one today just because I am purging my email. (It's gonna take all day) Anyhow, I found this........ The Golden Years Situation Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat-down.I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car.Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. His theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion. His theory was right.The parking lot was empty.I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call of all,”Honey,” I stammered; ( I always call him “honey” in times like these.) “I left my keys in the car and it’s been stolen.”There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard his voice. ”Are you kidding’ me,” he barked, “I dropped you off!!!”Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said,”Well, come and get me.”He retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this cop I didn’t steal your car.”Yep, it’s the golden years………….

One morning a husband returns to the cabin after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out, since it is such a beautiful day. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says," Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing"? "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious"?) "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her. "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to write you up a ticket." "For reading a book"? she replies. "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her again. "But officer, I'm not fishing, I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to write you up a ticket and you'll have to pay a fine." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the Game Warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment." "Have a nice day ma'am," and he immediately departed. MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

Jasdip -- I LOVE that!! Off to get me a bag of peanuts in the shell....

Rusty