tragusa3--the 60 or 120 day extension of the option to purchase was my first reply too--give them a breathing period to reassess what what going on...but they did not want US in the driver's seat since an extended option would still have maintained our right to purchase as the negotiated price. They did not want any boundaries on their decision making according to our realtor. She called their realtor asking for a 6 mo first refusal contract and they reluctantly gave that...Talking to our realtor initially, I did not feel that she would have support us if we said sorry--we want to continue with the contract. She said "You can't make someone sell a home if they don't want to---" which I thought was wrong if there was an enforceable contract and you were willing to invest a lot of time and money with lawyers---She just wanted us to drop it...period...almost seemed more like she wsa acting as their agent instead of ours. You are right that cancer is not a trump card in other business dealings...in fact, we did forget to make a mortgage payment when our son was going through chemo and got a pretty nasty letter about being delinquent...when I called to explain, they just wanted us to know what would happen if other payments were late so we better get the checks in on time... life in general does not stop when people have cancer... dixiedoodle--yes, I was the person who was so upset when the developer cut trees we had expected would be there on the lot we optioned--and I remember I got some sympathic comments and some that said don't get all emotional because the developer did not owe us anything at that point in time. ...legally, these sellers had NO right to back out...cancer does not cut any weight there...so reacting emotionally and sympathetically was the only reason to cut them slack... People post lots of things on ths site--not just about the house they are building--there are posters on this site whose opinions I have come to value even if they do disagree with my opinion so I get insight from comments...no, I don't always agree with what people write either about my posts or others...don't think you do either from what you posted to me...isn't that the point of a board like this...I just was kind of amazed that everyone DID pretty much take this story at face value...yet most people tell you to check references and have inspectors review a builder's work and make sure both people have to sign the checks... I picked up the right-of-first-refusal "contract" yesterday about 5 from my realtor's office. Frankly, looking at it just made me feel more suspicious about this situation. Don't think any title attorney worded this or prepared it as my realtor said they had done. There are two pretty obvious grammatical errors that I, an English teacher, saw right away but that an average person might not. I think an attorney or legal secretary has too much exposure to legal documents and proper grammar to make those mistakes. They know that a grammatical error can affect the value of a "legal" document. So I think their realtor did it. It looks like it was generated off someone's office computer/printer, generic paper. The two copies we got have no original signatures of the sellers and their agent. There are no addresses/contact information for our names or theirs--although you assume theirs would be the house they were selling. There is no mention of why we are foregoing the original contract (the serious illness of their son) -- it sounds like both parties just decided to amicably change their minds---which is not the case at all. There is no notary wittness on theirs nor one required for ours so it can't be filed at courthouse to act as hold on property and actually prevent sale for 6 months...there is no indication that the sale price would be the one we negotiated for this contract...which is what we expected...they could set the price 100,000 higher--we refuse--and they lower the price by the same amount and sell 24 hrs later to whomever... Basically there is no way to enforce this---they could turn around and put the house up in June and we could do nothing...DH says that if we tried to continue the contract and they still refused and we sued to claim breach of contract, technically we have suffered no monetary damages which is the only thing a judge would rule on---having to buy a house that is more expensive or that we like less then theirs is too nebulous for a judge to set a real value on---taking them to court and having them evicted if we did win the suit is not exactly the way you want to introduce yourself to the neighbors... DH said that if they are the kind of people who would use an excuse like they did then he does not want anything to do with them and they are going straight to the big bonfire...I would just like to know the truth of the situation...

nosoccermom, here's what I had on hand: 00000 steel wool, 300 grit sandpaper, cotton rags, rubber gloves, Old English lemon oil, Murphy's oil soap, and Old English scratch cover for dark woods. I did things in the order in which they occurred to me, not necessarily a sensible order. 1. Rubbed lemon oil over everything with cotton rag, using steel wool on the really gross parts, or where the finish had turned white 2. Sanded the ruined edges 3. Went back and used wet rag with a dot of Murphy's all over. (Still not sure this step was necessary or good) 3.5. Let it dry 4. Lots more lemon oil with cotton rag 5. Scratch cover on edges and gouges It seems that the piece has sucked up all the lemon oil, and that I need to go back over it again. I expect (hope!) that eventually it will be reconditioned properly and will need only very infrequent application of lemon oil.

Has your contractor given you any references to call? When we were "interviewing" GC's, I asked for a list from each -- the one that got the list to me in a timely fashion, i.e. within a few days, ended up being the one who got the job - after calling references on their list and getting glowing reports. This was actually a good indication of how they have handled our entire project -- in a timely and professional manner throughout. Ask for references -- a good, confident GC should be happy to provide those. Finding a cabinet maker -- I looked at cabinets "out of the box" for weeks and could not find a style or finish that worked for me. I started calling folks who I knew had done reno's w/in the last five years to ask "would you mind telling me where you got your cabinets?" Sometimes they would say "do you know so and so, they did kitchen, addition, etc". I just called people and introduced myself - most were happy to share this info. and through this "referral" system I found a local cabinet maker (who I didn't know and never would have found on my own - GC was so impressed with his work that has since used him on other jobs) who gave me what I dreamed about (not without compromise along the way) within my budget constraints. Soapstone -- have it, love it, priced it on my own and saved significantly. Our variety is "softer" and although we have only been using our kitchen for about a month, I have chips in several edges, especially around the sink. At first I was heartbroken and then reminded myself that we chose this and marble for the "patinas" they would develop over time -- now I use a sharpie to hide them and move on. We are having so much fun cooking in this kitchen together that a nick or two is worth it!

d_gw, you remember correctly.. but anything I need for my eyes is a necessity. I am actually starting the process to move to the progressive lenses that weren't recommended in the beginning. If this doesn't work, I've committed to surgery in early 2018. Totally independent of a splurge or relaxation. 1929Spanish, I totally understand where you are coming from-- but a housekeeper isn't something I would call a necessity. I think the shift to seeing it as a non-negotiable (at least in my circumstances) IS a splurge. That said, I don't travel like you do. I tend to need a lot of downtime. I am an introvert but must be "on" and interacting at work. I think planning that downtime and making it a priority is going to become the biggest reward. I don't always make the time for myself-- so I get to the hit the wall and can't talk to one.more.person! I end up locking myself in for a weekend. It's effective but letting it go to the point of no return isn't the most enjoyable way to get downtime. Sitting on the water yesterday was every bit as great as a spa day ... and it cost me a bottle of wine :)