Sad news indeed. Thanks for letting us know Nelson. Jan

I have come to an educated decision. A little more background. My husband was taken the last 2 times to the hospital in our small town. The first of the 2 times he was having trouble breathing and asked to go to the hospital. He was in a regular private room on a heart monitor. While I was visiting, he started gasping for air and and changing color. I got the nurse and the doctor came in and put him in ICU. He was put on a ventilator. The hospital system we have here and in Montgomery, Baptist, have a new procedure. A group of doctors are with the hospital and are under contract. To be able to care for patients, a doctor outside the group must have a contract for consultations. They called in a pulmonologist and it just happened to be the one our cardiologist called in for a consult previously in a Montgomery hospitalization. The doctor had never treated my husband before and only had him as a patient as he was admitted through ER and read what was written and on the Baptist records. The computers are linked where they can look up a name for the medical history. She suggested Hospice while he was in their ICU. In talking to the pulmonagist, I told him they had told me he couldn't be moved as I wanted his cardiologist to care for him. He told me he could be moved and so everything was arranged and off we went to Montgoery. They immediately took him off the medicine that kept him asleep all the time. He started improving and his oxygen level went up where he came off the ventilator. One more day and he was taken off oxygen. Two more days and he went home. The next time just less than a week later, he was having chest pains, nitro didn't help so he asked me to take him to the hospital. He was in a regular room, had a nitro patch, morphine and oxygen. Not sure what else. Stayed 3 days and went home. While there, the nurse and socialworker talked to me about Hospice. It was my understanding all of them, including the doctor that signed the papers had consulted with our cardiologist in Montgomery. A couple of days after he got home, Hospice came to the house and talked to me. This and when I talked to their office is when I was told, they will provide him with all kinds of needs, and stated them, but no heroic measures. They have their own doctor on staff, nurses, and assistants. To go to the hospital, I would have to request it and revoke the contract with hospice. Then when he came home, reinstate hospice. If done more than once, medicare would question it. Unknown as to that outcome until it was done. I had questions I needed answered. I had called the cardiologist office to talk to the nuring assistant that had seen Phil last and said, I thought, we agree to Hospice. What had changed that they had not discussed this with me previously yet agreed now? In a 2 week time frame, she returned none of my calls. I finally called again and cancelled my husband's protime test. They asked if I had an in home service that would do it or a lab that would do it. I said no. I was asked to wait and I did. A nurse at the office got on the line and told me she had talked to "D" and she said she only got my messages for this week. I told "T" I hadn't called this week as I gave up trying to talk to "D". "T" stated "D" was confused and didn't know what I wanted as she thought she had explained everything. DUH if you don't know then talk to the person and find out instead of not returning calls. "T" kept asking questions and I told her what had transpired and I had questions and could not get that help. She kept wanting me to talk to "D" and I said no, I have no reason to. "T" asked me if I was angry and I told her I was very angry, frustrated, and felt abandoned by them. She asked if I was going to bring my husband in for the tests and I said no. She said I'd have to stop the coumadin then if not monitored and would have to report it to Dr. "W". I told her fine but I hoped she'd give him ALL the facts that brought us to this point. She stated she would. Later that day I got a call from Dr. "W". He has cared for my husband for years and is highly respected in his field nationwide. Result from the conversation. He was just told about the calls not returned, NO he had not been consulted at all about Hospice. WE discussed my husband's health of what I understod and nothing was incorrect or incomplete. His opinion was that medically Hospice was an option but psychologically no. He felt it best we wait. I agreed. If I had been told all the facts and that his cardiologist had not been consulted, I would not have talked to Hospice till I had talked to Dr. "W". When I called Hospice, he was very surprised that those 2 doctors had not consulted Dr. "W". He had treated him for years and both of them had only seen him once during the 2 hospital stays. I beleve those 2 doctors overstepped their authority and I was misled. I am not going to use Hospice. I am checking into sitter services recommended by Hospice and they are certified. My daughter is helping that if I can get my doctor appointments on a Monday, she will spend her day off with her daddy and I'll be able to see how much my kidney disease has progressed, find out if the ventricular in my brain is letting spinal fluid seep out into the brain yet, what to do about the bulged discs as the pain is much worse and getting more difficult to walk - I'm getting tired of falling down. HELP I can't get up!! I feel I have all the facts and the load I carry is much lighter with this decision. I prayed soooo hard for a sign or something to make the right decision. This has been VERY hard with a lot of tears, anger, feeling alone, and pure frustration. You all have been wonderful, patient and so kind to me. I'll keep checking this forum as perhaps someday I can help someone as you have helped me. THANK YOU Lynn

Maire cate: that is so funny! This guy has done a hilarious job imagining what they might be thinking. Thank you! Annie: have watched the Russian flash mob clip - wonderful! That bride was so cute, too. Also have seen several of the "Simon's Cat" clips. Funny! Love, love, love the "Mailman vs The Cat" Hysterical! OK, I've got to go back and watch it yet again!

Schoolhouse, thanks. It is a comfortable place. I do like keeping things clean and simple....mostly because I'm too lazy to clean around a lot of decorating accessories, although I love seeing them in other peoples house. Joaniepoanie, I appreciate your comments. It is tough making decisions with too little information and too little time to contemplate. That is what makes this forum so great We have a whole team of "on call" consultants who help with quick decisions and help us learn to live with less than perfect ones. Lynn, mobydog,thank you, thank you! The cabinets are Haas. The style is Milford. The perimeter cabs are painted eggshell with a taupe glaze. Taggie, I wish I could take credit for the design but it was my KD. I had seen her work before so I just showed her a few inspiration photos and the blueprints for our new house and let her roll with it. I discovered this forum half way thru the process. Had I found KF sooner I might have taken a more active role in the design but she did a pretty good job interpreting my needs and tastes. Ellendi, you make a great point. Its not realistic to expect that every decision made in large project is going to turn out exactly as hoped. To dwell on the one thing that didn't turn out takes away from the joy of seeing the effort overall come to fruition. Thanks to everyone for your kind words and sage advice.