My mom passed away last Saturday

last year

The last few weeks have just ben so hard. My mom has been going down hill with her dementia over the last few years but even faster the last 6 months or so. I usually visited my mom about 2 times a week and up until the last few weeks she always knew who I was and even after that she had some memory that I was someone she knew. Recently I had been getting worried about how much weight she had lost, but no one else really seemed to be concerned. A little over a month ago all three of her kids and some grandkids were able to get together for a lunch and it is now so special that we did that. About 2 weeks ago she went to the ER due to diarrhea, she had to wait in a room in the ER for about 10 hours, then up to a room for a few days until she went to the Hospice floor. She blood pressure was really high and her heart rate was all over the place. She was very chatty the first night, but by the end she did not even wake-up for about a week. She went home with Hospice and lasted about 2 days. This Saturday we are having a Celebration of Life.

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maifleur03

last year

jewels I am so sorry for your loss but absolve yourself of any lingering guilt about her weight loss. At one of the discussions at my Alzheimer's caregivers group there was a question asked as to what people could expect as their loved ones neared the end. People with certain types of dementia stop being able to swallow. I watched it with my husband and know while it was difficult to watch nothing you could have done would have stopped it. Be at peace with yourself.

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Comments (63)

maire_cate
last year
i am so sorry. It is so hard to lose a parent. I hope you have many beautiful memories to help you through this difficult time.
Uptown Gal
last year
last modified: last year
I am so sorry. It has been a long,hard ordeal for you and your family and I know

the toll it takes on you. The comfort is that she is now safe and well and in a

better place. Sending a prayer and a hug for love and coping.

Hugs.
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katlan
last year
Jewels, I'm really sorry you lost your mom. It's such a big loss, a huge hurt. You have my prayers for peace from you grief. God bless her soul.
glenda smith
last year

condolences
sweet_betsy No AL Z7
last year
May you find peace and comfort as you grieve.
Zalco/bring back Sophie!
last year
I am so terribly sorry. Losing a parent is always terrible. May you find peace.
Rose Pekelnicky
last year
I'm very sorry for your loss
patriciae_gw
last year
I too am so sorry. it is hard to see those dear to us pass but this ones seems exceptionally difficult.
bpath
last year
Jewels, I'm so sorry. Dementia is hard to bear, it makes her passing a second loss. My heart goes out to you.
schoolhouse_gwagain
last year
My sympathies to you and your family.
Jupidupi
last year
last modified: last year
Jewels, my sincere condolences. I don't think anyone is ever really old enough to lose their mother. Having a celebration of her life gathering is a beautiful way to remember her. It's also her gift to the family that her passing brings everyone together.
rob333 (zone 7b)
last year
last modified: last year
(((Jewel)))

My mom passed away July 6. Dementia, congestive heart failure, and had been losing large quantities of weight. It's so hard to watch. I relish the last Christmas we got to have together. Got to cling to the good.
Annegriet
last year
I am thinking of you. I lost my Mom three years ago and it's a crummy club to belong to. Please know this--you will have good days and bad days. It comes and goes. Sometimes things will hit you like a ton of bricks. Please don't feel guilty. You loved and cared for you Mom.
sal 60 Hanzlik
last year
I am so sorry.
Kathsgrdn
last year
I'm very sorry Jewels. It's hard losing a parent.
Alisande
last year
I'm so sorry, Jewel. It was a long haul for both of you. I'm sure she knew how lucky she was to have a devoted daughter.
nickel_kg
last year
I'm so sorry ((jewels))
Cherryfizz
last year
So sad and heartbreaking for you. I know how hard that loss is of losing a Mom. It was 20 years ago today I lost my Mom. You have my heartfelt sympathy. Hugs
carolb_w_fl_coastal_9b
last year
We are literally a part of our mothers. Saying goodbye to them is saying goodbye to a part of ourselves.
eld6161
last year
My condolences to you and your family. Hugs.
Annie Deighnaugh
last year
I'm so sorry. Sending you and your family thoughts of comfort, solace, courage and sympathy.
lily316
last year

I'm very sorry to read this. Please accept my condolences for you and your family.
blfenton
last year
I am so sorry. May your love and memories carry you through this difficult time. ((((hugs))))
spswash
last year
We are so sorry for your loss. May her memory be a blessing.
morz8 - Washington Coast
last year
My sincere sympathy Jewels. And I'm sorry the last couple of weeks were difficult - for both of you. Be good to yourself and remember she is free and at peace now. I hope tomorrow turns out just like you have planned.
sealavender
last year
E-hug --- (((jewels)))
yeonassky
last year
So sorry that you had to say goodbye to your mom. I'm glad you had some time with her and your family and hope the memories help to ease your pain. Hugs to you and your family.
laceyvail 6A, WV
last year
No matter how old we you are, you are never ready to lose your mother. I am so sorry.
socks
last year
Heartfelt condolences. Keep the good memories close.
Fran
last year
My heartfelt sympathy. May she rest in peace.
OutsidePlaying
last year
Jewels, I’m so sorry about your mother. Celebrate her life today and remember she will always be in your heart. It’s so hard to lose your mother at any age.
sleeperblues
last year
I'm so sorry, Jewels. It is so hard to watch as an aging parent creeps toward death. Cherish the good memories you have of your Mom.
seagrass_gw Cape Cod
last year
last modified: last year
Oh God, Jewels. I live in fear of losing my mother. She's 90 and in good health living independetly in Columbus, Ohio. I'm 70 and live a day away from her in Massachussets. I am so sorry for you and your loss. I can't imagine dealing with it.
chisue
last year
IDK which is worse, the long goodbye or the sudden loss. Mothers are irreplaceable. It's an empty feeling to be 'orphaned', regardless the age of the 'child'. My condolences.
Yayagal
last year
Before my Mom died of Alzheimer's, she asked me to pray that she would die soon as, obviously, she was close to the end. I prayed she would die and, strangely enough, although I was missing her I had comfort in knowing

she wanted to go. Now my husband is doing the same thing, He's 88, has Alzheimer's, and often mentions he wants to go. When the hard days come, when you feel so low and sad, let it all out in tears or think about the good times and cherish them. Grief is difficult but it's normal to feel that longing. I pray at those times and always feel a bit better. God bless.
caflowerluver
last year
last modified: last year
I am sorry for your loss. My MIL had dementia the last few years before she died. It is hard on everyone.
woodrose
last year
I'm so very sorry for your, and your family's loss.
cyn427 (z. 7, N. VA)
last year
My condolences. Losing a parent is not easy. I am happy for you that despite her dementia she remembered you and that you all had a family luncheon together before she passed.
carolb_w_fl_coastal_9b
last year
last modified: last year
My mom suffered from dementia as well for a few years before she passed. We think mild brain trauma from a car crash in 2019 accelerated it, but there was/is no way to be sure. That's so hard - to remember how sharp and organized she once was and that loss of her brilliance and understanding in her final years.

It's so true that grief and regret can wash over one without warning. It's perfectly normal of course.
Bluebell66
last year
I’m so sorry. Hugs to you.
jakeseacrest
last year
I’m so sorry for your loss 😢
wildchild2x2
last year
So sorry for your and your family's loss.
PattiG(rose)
last year
My condolences on the loss of your mother. May your good memories sustain you in the coming days.
Ninapearl
last year
so very sorry for your loss. may your memories be comforting.
caroline94535
last year
I am so sorry for your loss and grief.

I have to quote JuoiDupi; she nailed it with ”…. No one is ever really old enough to lose their mother...”
happy2b…gw
last year
last modified: last year
Wishing you and your family comfort.
cindy-6b/7a VA
last year
I'm very sorry for your loss.
ravencajun Zone 8b TX
last year
My deepest sympathy for you and your family. 🙏🙏🙏🌹
jewels_ks
Original Author
last year
Thanks everyone, all of your thoughts and prayers really mean a lot. We had my moms service on Saturday and it really went great. My sister welcomed everyone , I did the Eulogy, my dds read a poem titled " Wonder Grandmother", my sil sang Amazing Grace and had everyone in tears, but it was beautiful. Three of my wonderful gfs supplied and kept an eye on all the food.

It was really nice visiting with everyone and even though my stepdad only wanted immediate family, I knew this was not what my mom would have wanted. In the end he even enjoyed talking with everyone too. I didn't know if I would be able to do the Eulogy, but I buckled down and wrote it and I made it thru with only a few tears.
Michele
last year
I am just seeing this now. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope in time, the painful memories fade and the happy ones bring comfort to you and your family

My mom passed away last Saturday

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