Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers?

She'll stop at nothing to avoid them!

When I erase a word, where does it go?

“In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.”

- Fran Lebowitz

Roses are red, pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large, none of it for you.

What do dentists call their x-rays?

Tooth pics!

Zelensky : ”Hello, Will Smith? Did you hear what Putin said about your wife?”

On marriage:

Sometimes I hide condiments from my husband by moving them 3 inches to the left.

80% of marriage is repeating yourself. I said, 80% OF MARRIAGE IS REPEATING YOURSELF.

The fitness trainer asked me "what kind of squat are you accustomed to doing?" I said "diddly".

Will Chris Rock’s style of comedy change to slap-stick?

tj

20% of marriage is NOT repeating yourself. She just pretends to understand.