I wonder if this, which would be longer on me, is worth trying.

Oops.

I also think, esp for the MoG, she should avoid anything white, cream, nude, beige, pale gray or anything that looks like it might compete with the bride. Especially for the MoG, it's too oedipal. I have been to a number of weddings where it's always the MoG who wears the bride's color or close to it. One the MoG was in white while the bride was in candlelight. I always find that very disturbing.

Ewwww. I would never wear those colors anyway.

I also think, esp for the MoG, she should avoid anything white, cream, nude, beige, pale gray or anything that looks like it might compete with the bride.

I disagree and think we have moved on from such very strict rules. One of my fave weddings had all the bridesmaids in white! Reminds me of HS graduations (at least in private schools in our area, the girls all wear white dresses and it looks so nice). I digress.

I think a long white gown would be odd on a MOG. But a shorter gown and or a light neutral is fine in my book. Sooooo tired of navy lace. My all time fave MOB is DIane Keaton in FOB. (below) When I saw that movie I was not even married myself yet, but I made a note to myself that it was a look I'd want to wear as MOB/G!

It's probably why I like Ratherbesewing's dress above so much.

That said, I totally get that that palette is not everyone's fave to wear; i just don't see why it would be off limits.

Nordstrom:

This one was only shown in plus, but I think it has some interesting details to consider if you went custom; the high waist with button details, the tulle sleeves.

NM

As far as one being too long, tailor it. As far as the pink floral, yes it is so pretty. But IMHO I'd probably only choose it for a daytime spring/summer wedding that is informal. Or, if formal, maybe if it goes with the bridesmaids/ dresses in some way.

Love the Eliza J and Alfred Sung dresses mtn shared. I also had forgotten Diane Keaton's MOB outfit which was just perfect! So, I guess that puts me in the camp of all colors on the table for MOB/MOG.

@Sueb20 I like both the floral pink and the teal lace. Very pretty!

@mtnrdredux_gw I love that first Eliza J dress and the Alfred Sung dress as well. Looks like there are a few similar Alfred Sung variations with and without sleeves that have a similar very classy look. Love that blue Neiman Marcus one too.

I do think white/off-white/ivory is probably a generally bad idea for anyone at a wedding unless the bride specifically suggests or requests it (assuming an American wedding where the bride is likely in white or some off-white flavor). But I absolutely hate the idea of any other color, including black or silver or pale pink or beige, would be off limits. I imagine it might be best to know the bride/groom well enough to know whether they might take offense, but I think it's entirely unfair to limit mother of the groom/bride to just navy. My sister in law wore a very pale pink, nearly white, dress to my wedding and she looked so lovely. It's interesting that it does look almost white in our wedding photos but it never bothered me and it was still blatantly obvious who was wearing a wedding dress. Everyone should generally be able to dress in a color that compliments their skin/hair tone and their personality. I do wish there were more non-navy options out there. It seems like so many of the fit and flare cocktail dresses are navy.

Can I be the voice of reason and throw a cold bucket of water on this dress search? We, I mean you don’t know the wedding details yet. Why get attached to a dress that might be totally wrong? Pump the breaks, and wait until they share a plan. It might be an invitation to elopement that will only require a bathing suit and cover-up. 😆 Then we’ll, I mean you can get to work on your wardrobe.

Scouts honor, I picked out Mtn's blue dress with floral waistline but decided not to send. Love everything about it. The sleeve length alone had me plus the floral pattern and placement is perfect.

Voice of reason? certainly not. : )

Keep in mind Sue has 2 weddings, too!

I also ordered this dress from Adrianna Papell. It ended up being too Nancy Kerrigan.

ratherbesewing, for me being short in stature, that dress would never work. I've always avoided that side of the arrow as it visually shortens someone. If the point is down, however, it makes one look taller.

Y'know the old optical illusion where the lines are actually the same length though one looks longer:

prickly pear, avoiding dresses similar in color to a bridal gown doesn't mean just navy. I'd posted a link to JJ's House above and they offer their dresses in over 50 colors.

In the case of Dianne Keaton's outfit, with the heavily textured jacket, it's very different from any bride's gown so would not be as oedipal. I can also see that outfit worn by an older bride at her 2nd wedding. It's those MoG whose outfit looks like she's trying to compete with the bride's that I find off putting.

I love the dress prickly pear shared (black? navy?) although you could certainly do another color. I also love the style of the pink floral dress. I find Dianne Keaton's dress/jacket a bit matronly.

In our wedding, my bridesmaids were in a medium pink/rose color. Bouquets were shades of pink. My MIL wore almost a hot pink color and my mom wore almost a periwinkle blue - both long dresses (7 PM wedding) , both looked great with their coloring and the colors worked with the overall colors of the wedding party. I wanted the mothers to wear something they like and felt good in, but at the same time, you want it to all play nice together for pictures.

A number of the printed dresses here would be great for the rehearsal dinner. Especially since there is no need to coordinate with the wedding party on that one.

I'll just toss out the thought I had when dress shopping as MOB (8 years ago) for an afternoon garden wedding. I was a bit concerned that if the dress was not "special" enough, that another guest could show up wearing it. The bridal party ( and MOB and MOG) all wore floor length.

I felt it was less likely that a guest would wear that.

Sue, I just got a notice about an extra 25% off at Bergdorf. Perhaps you'll find a unicorn.

Dress sale

I was a young bride when I married in 1993, and our wedding was pretty darn formal. My bridesmaids wore two-piece, full length Currie Bonner (anyone remember CB?) dresses in cream. My mom wanted something very simple, couldn’t find anything that didn’t look ”old ladyish” (her words!) or too young, so she had a beautiful dress made for her. It was a simple, full-length sheath made of the most gorgeous cream silk. She looked beautiful, and having her dress made was such a great option. It was such a fun process, I had the dressmaker make my rehearsal dress too (another way to ensure no one else had it, as a pp said above.😂) My MIL wore a perfectly nice, pale pink, perfect definition of a MOG dress. 😂

I was so overwhelmed by the process of planning a huge wedding that I don’t remember having too much of opinion or care or worry about what anyone wore besides myself and my bridesmaids. I really don’t think I would have cared at all if any guests wore white…obviously I was the bride and I was having too much fun to care about random things like that. Someone must have communicated to MIL to wear pastel to go with the aesthetic for pics…I was NOT going to tell my MIL what to do…thank goodness she didnt end up in red or something! Would’ve looked bad in the pics😳

Salon, good point!

Mtn, I like that blue NM dress but somehow the fabric (based only on the pic) looks like it could be hot on a summery day. I really like the black and white dress — what brand/designer is that?

I do know that they will not be eloping LOL and that it won’t be casual or SUPER formal. And I will absolutely consult with the bride on any final dress decisions. She and I have a nice friendship, fortunately, and she is very honest so I know she’ll tell me what she thinks. I don’t want to be the MOG wearing a black dress if everyone else in the wedding party pics is wearing shades of pink!

Found my Perfect Dress AND shoes at the BG sale!

But seriously, this whole exercise has been great for discovering some designers I might like. I have seen several dresses from this one that I like. I don’t love this color but I love the dress.

And if I had to go really formal, I love this one.

Here it is Sue, and here are a bunch I came across while looking for it again: all Nordstrom

TY! I have looked at that navy and white Eliza J dress a few times online…it’s so pretty but the mis-match of the pattern seems so glaring to me. I have seen and liked that second black and white dress too.

the mis-match of the pattern seems so glaring to me.

LOL, i didn't even notice. Must be your interior decorator side.

I love that detailing on the second black one (for those playing along at home see close up below).

There is another one that is very similar, but not sure if the horizonalness would be flattering or not. It might surprise. (Sue I think I fixed the link)

https://www.nordstrom.com/s/shani-floral-lace-a-line-crepe-dress/5827764?origin=coordinating-5827764-0-2-PDP_1-recbot-also_viewed_graph&recs_placement=PDP_1&recs_strategy=also_viewed_graph&recs_source=recbot&recs_page_type=product&recs_seed=5827629&color=BLACK%2FWHITE

I know you might be thinking - horizontal stripe, not good. But it might work well if you think you lean pear shape (did not look it to me in the fit and flare). Adding visual weight to the top.

Mtn, I think the link is to the same dress?

hh, don’t look. I just ordered this because there was only one left and it was my size.

SueB, large swaths of obviously mismatched pattern jump out at me. I completely understand it on an $80 dress but it really shouldn't be an issue with expensive options. I notice it most often on the back of a dress. I think a side mismatch is a bit more forgiving.

Also, the "fancy" stores seem to love pairing ugly shoes with pretty dresses :)

I find Dianne Keaton's dress/jacket a bit matronly

You are right, I can totally see that point; would depend a lot on the wearer (certainly not Keaton!). I am just a big fan of structured/tailored looks. Collars, button down, jackets. I guess my work persona is not easily shed!

I find a lot of MOG/MOB dresses matronly, perhaps because they are, definitionally, made for matrons! Honestly the ubiquitous Adrianna Papell look, which to me has always been synthetic stretchy material in one of maybe 4 colors, replete with lace and sequins, has come to feel matronly to me; can you imagine a woman under 40 choosing those? I just don't think you need to be covered in lace and sequins to be formally dressed. And the material of some of these dresses made for MOG/MOB is ghastly. It always makes me think of the incredible cheapness of boxed Halloween costumes, and aptly so, since both are worn once.

Sue love that last one - the color seems very you.

@mtnrdredux_gw yes I know what you mean, I have seen some young MOB/MOG in some beautiful dresses. From Sue's personality here, matronly certainly won't suit her! I hear you about the lace and sequins, definitely not for everyone!!

prickly pear, avoiding dresses similar in color to a bridal gown doesn't mean just navy. I'd posted a link to JJ's House above and they offer their dresses in over 50 colors.

I am quite certain I did not say that navy was the only option. I specifically said that I wished there were more non-navy options of fit-and-flare dresses "out there" meaning out on the websites that I was shopping (Dillards, Nordstrom, Neiman Marcus, few others) . I saw your JJ's House recommendation and they certainly do have a wide array of colors because they are selling wedding party dresses. To be more clear, I am lamenting the selection of deep color options in dresses that are available for purchase at regular apparel retailers. I love royal blues and dark purples and reds and those colors are simply not as prevalent as navy or black. Sue mentioned "jewel tones" and it was disappointing to see that those tones aren't widely available.

MOB inspiration: Melinda Gates

Katie Couric

and finally, Victoria Beckham (sorry, had to copy/paste)

https://www.instagram.com/p/CcNtertoCZu/?utm_source=ig_embed&ig_rid=a1df56bb-7a6c-46bb-b47b-245d4e565342

Meh, no, and really no!

The first column of dresses Mtn chose are perfect. MoG has to be in clothes a bit more formal than the guests. No sundresses either.

I like many of those Mtn, but please no black for MOG dress.

No black, at all?

hh, look away.

Pls ignore messy room. I have to say, I really like this one. It has some sparkle (the embroidery is silvery), and the underslip has a little bit of crinoline action, though it’s subtle. The dress is a little big on me so I’m deciding if I like it enough to order the smaller size. And it’s only $150 so if I decide against it for This wedding, I could hold onto it for another one.

This seems more MOG/MOB I think, but it doesn’t fit quite right. Too big on top, too small across the hips.

I love Teri Jon dresses too. I have a gorgeous one hanging in my closet waiting for an occasion! I don't think many of us of a certain age could pull off the Katie Couric or Victoria Beckham looks.

Sue - while you are in the casting a wide net phase, check out this other designer with a bit more modern vibe.

Sachin & Babi

ETA: Just saw the two you posted. Both very pretty but I think maybe that pretty pink/red one you ordered might top those. Can't wait to see!

I like those two on you, Sue. Kay Unger is another brand I like for dressy dresses.

I think whether or not black is ok is a very wedding-specific question, which I trust Sue will know.

Mtn, for sure. As I’ve gotten older, I see the color black as somber. Yes I know…..those dresses don’t say funeral. It’s just how I’m feeling about black lately. And, I’ve certainly worn my share of the LBD to weddings.

However, I see Sueb is a more happy color as MOG.

Sue, I agree the first is too big on you and you don’t get the fit and flare. I also think its a bit long. Is it a petite?

So far, I like the red/pink dress the best.

In my mind, black is for a more formal wedding. I like that first dress you show but I don't think the next one looks too small, in fact I think it shows your waist off more. Unless it pulls across the hips and it doesn't appear to. So I might order it in a smaller size. But, depending on time of day and what color the wedding party will wear, I'm still on the fence. For a spring wedding I am seeing a pretty color instead of black. I also think as we get older, black can be a bit harsh against the face. Hmmm strappy silver shoes would look good with that dress though!! Do you know when other son's wedding is (month?)

Re the black dresses posted, the 2nd has a more modern print which I like better and it definitely fits better than the 1st which is too large. However, I'm not a fan of the hem on the 2nd that looks a little "scrubby gone wild" IYKWIM. You have a lovely hour glass shape and the fit and flare style is a great one for you.

The other thing I recommend is to be super careful about the length. It should be what's best for you.

I've done this for me and my GF. Stand in front of a mirror and take a bath towel and hold it in front of you. Slowly raise the towel and note the most flattering lengths on your leg. Do it facing and from the side as well to see how it affects the shape of your calf. I have found 3 most flattering lengths for me and now I stick with them. My GF has 2.

Eld, it is not a petite. It is long and I’m not sure if hemming will work with the pattern.

Intetesting method on length, Annie. I’ll try it!

Sueb, when I was wondering what to wear to the wedding last fall and was trying on all kinds of dresses, kswl pointed out that the one I was thinking of was too long for me, so I shortened it and it looked so much more modern. And it made my legs look so much longer. Thank you kswl!!

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