I used to have a dog named Max. My name is Roxanne.

An elderly neighbour used to greet us every day with ”Hello, Maxine! And how’s little Roxie today?

I just smiled. She was a nice lady.

I’m not sure how she spelled the names.

I always have to spell my first name and correct it because they want to spell it with àn "i" in the middle. Even my dad would spelll it with an ""i" in the middle. My married last name throws people because of the douuble z's.

I am just glad I diid not get the Irish name, Siobhan which is pronounced Chevonne.

My name is Marilyn, and I am always surprised that people can't spell it. Unless it is important, I don't say anything, and as to the OP allowing someone to call her Elaine for years, back when I raised horses, a fellow who lived down the road, often stopped by to see the horses. He always called me Susie. I never said anything. He was more underfoot when I was trying to work.

It won't be a big deal. There are many things in life to enjoy, you got to learn how to let it go. Don't create unnecessary stress for yourself.

I've been called Ellen, Elaine, and Irene. When someone needs to write down my name, they often start writing an I. I then spell it for them but when I say E-i-l, they give me a confused look. I don't know why there's a problem. Have they never heard that E can be a silent letter? If I didn't spell it, they'd either write down Ilene or Ileen.

I get misspellings too, or additions to my name, making it longer, but the only time I would correct someone would be when they ask, &/or they're entering info - IOW, when it would make a difference.

I did let someone we knew think my name was Joan for a time, after facetiously agreeing with and not correcting them, on a whim 😏

When I moved to Texas was my first encounter with people who had "surnames for first names". It just wasn't a thing in the time or place I came from. So, I had a co-worker named Forrest Dillon. For weeks, I called him Dillon. Nobody corrected me! They must have thought I was one rude Yankee. I finally got it straight and apologized to him.

I also met a guy whose names were Russell, Thomas, and Gregory, and for the life of me I never did figure out which was which, because his buddies called him sometimes by his last name, and sometimes by his first. Fortunately the situation where I met him changed soon and I didn't have to deal with it.

I have known a good dozen or more women and girls whose first name is pronounced "sherry", and none of them spell it the same way.

Similar.... My child does not go by the name they used to go by (changed by a court order, not just a new nickname). When people use the old name/him, I ignore it, but when I talk about her/them again in the conversation I will use the new name (and prepositions). They picked right up, and use the correct name, and don't seem insulted. Sometimes they'll apologize, and I say no worries it's hard to get used to! And I truly think that, so they don't seem insulted.

My dad didn't tell me that I was misspelling my stepmother's name, until a couple years ago (I'm pretty sure they're coming up on their 50th)?! And I was disappointed that he hadn't told me sooner. I would never want to misspell her name. I don't think I've done it wrong since ☺️

I have a rather common last name but it can be spelled two ways. In a near by town another person had the same name only spelled the other way. She was of questionable character and worked in a massage parlor. I went to an oral surgeon once and he told me they were wondering if I was her. I now spell my name out when making an appointment. I haven't heard about the other person for several years so don't know if she's still around.

My surname is a common word with the change of one vowel so it often gets misspelled. Like others, I don't bother correcting it unless it's a legal document.

Ha - we have a last name that can be a first name as well, and when my son was little, I remember one of his preschool teachers kept thinking it was his first name, no matter how many times I corrected her 😄

And for years I sent holiday cards to my cousin addressed with the wrong surname. I eventually got it straight, but she never said a word about it. She's a very gracious person.

Our last name is also a common male first name. I am also "with an e", so although my first and last names are common, they are both routinely misspelled. Whatever works.

Always! It's Debby with a Y. And when you pronounce my last name wrong I'll correct that too.

People dont mispell my name. They want to shorten it. Since my name Patricia has a bunch of possible nicknames I have people sometimes pick one for me or offer me a list and ask which one I use, this after I introduce myself as Patricia. Since I actively dislike some of the possibilities I will usually tell people I go by Patricia. Some people dont take that as well as you might think. I am polite about it. My last name has several possible spellings so I do spell that. I dont mind if someone uses an alternate though.

Does not bother me a bit.

Patricia and others have every right to specify whatever form of their first names they wish others to use.

Maybe it's a male thing, but my experience is that with male names (and for some reason not with women), when a man insists the long form of his name be used when it's a name with an easy and recognized short version, it seems standoffish, odd and sometimes even an affectation.

My name is Robert, my friends call me Robert. (Not Bob, Rob, Robby, Bobby, etc?)

....Gregory..... Not Greg?

Jeffery. Not Jeff?

...Michael.....Not Mike?

...Charles.... Not Charlie?

And so on.

I don't care either. Mine is a very simple name. Just as long as it is correct on legal documents. As the old saying goes "call me anything, so long as you don't call me late for dinner".

elmer, even before my child had their name changed, they fought all the time about it, despising anything but the long version.

Since we have Sr, Jr and III, in our family the elder was always known by the shortened form, and the younger was known by the entire name.

When my FIL was alive, my husband had the longer form. When he died, and our child was born, my son ended up with the longer form.

rob, I think this is personal preference and perhaps there's a tab bit of regional effect too. Life and manners, even in what are more formal circumstances (like in business), are very casual in my area. The use of a male's full name rather than a shortened version, even among people who've become newly acquainted, is uncommon and seems somewhat pretentious. As among adults, as infrequent as someone who asks to be called Mr, Ms, or Mrs. X and not their first name.

My last name is spelled phonetically, but is different than a common spelling of the root name. I always spell it out, and people still get it wrong! One time, I was asked for my last name. I didn't say the name, I just started spelling it, and the person wrote it down wrong as I was spelling it. 🤦‍♀️

And you reminded me of my boss's problem! The name on their birth certificate is the shortened version. We're constantly trying to get people to use his short version, rather than the long name he's never had! It's funny what people assume

It depends on who, why, and when. In some cases, it's important; in other cases we'll never cross paths again and I don't care.

Terriks, all the time! I don’t get it. Even when I’m spelling out my last name, I watch sometimes and people will try to add an extra letter. I can see them hesitate as I’m spelling and there it is. The second letter of my last name is an L, so many people want to put in an extra L because it sounds as if there should be one. Believe me, we get some weirdly addressed mail too.

Interesting. Back when I was a child my name was almost unheard of here. It is a super common Russian name. I had to spell it endlessly and have people call me all sorts of permutations of the name. My name is much more common now, so no more spelling, even at Starbucks. My husband's very American name, the name of a famous president, his name gets misspelled sometims, go figure.

As for shortening names, my son is named after my grandfather, Edward. Before he was born some much older people who were family friends, and who knew my grandfather, would constantly refer to him as Eddie. I corrected them. I worried a great deal that Eddie would be the default name for him and I would have to constantly correct people, that did not happen no one has ever called Edward anything other than Edward. All my sons have super English names which in my childhood would have been shortened. The default assumption where I live is that when I introduce a child as say, Thomas, he is Thomas and not Tom or Tommy.

PS I genuinely do not care for most shortened names. Although I like the two short versions of mine, and technically, the full name I go by is what Russians use as an affectionate version of a Latin name.

PPS And within my children's friends, there really are no Robs, Bills, Andys, etc. As a general rule, there are very few children with names like their parents, few if any Erics, Steves, Jennifers or Michelles. Williams are either Will, William or Liam, Andrews are sometimes Drews, Thomases are never Tom.

Bpath, I went to school with Hunter Hunt in Dallas. Seriously, how can you possibly do that? I get you are pleased to be a Hunt, but really doubling down?

My first name can be spelled with an ending of i, ie, or y. My mother (thanks Mom) chose the least common spelling so about 80% of the time people guess wrong.

So I’ve always felt sorry for people with names spelled in an unusual way, pronounced differently than what you would expect, or something made-up or very odd. Why saddle your kid with the annoyance?

I named my boys plain old common (and highly gender-specific) names.

My son has a friend named William Williams - named after his father.

terriks, I rode the school bus with a boy named Alan Allen. He was in the general neighborhood but a couple of years older so we didn't have play dates or anything.

Guys, this is killing me. I love the name Evan and did not use it due to the two above comments, now I am thinking i made a mistake! Maybe a grandson ;-)

I cannot imagine why someone would think that a person's request to use their full name, the name they were given at birth, would be an affectation. I know a number of men who all their lives have been Robert, or James, or Edward, or William--never Bob, Jim, Ed, or Bill. And women who have been Catherine, Victoria, Dorothy, etc.

It's their name. What is wrong with that?

My maiden name was Riemersma spelled wrong all the time and pronounced wrong. But my married name is Good, so much easier. But they still ask how to spell it LOL. But does not bother me.

Littlebug, my name can also be spelled with a i, an ie, or a y. I spell it with an i, but almost no one spells it right.

My in-laws still spell my name with a double L.

It’s only been 39 years.

My family never learned how to spell my husband’s first name.

Elmer, I don't thing it is odd or standoffish in the least that my husband will not answer to the name "Dick".

Hmmm, I believe the surname 'Good' is often spelled with an 'e' on the end, and I'm sure there are a number of variations pronounced exactly the same, so I can see asking.

And my grandpa had the same first and last name because when he arrived at Ellis Island, immigration officials couldn't spell his actual surname, which started with the same letter.

Years ago, my dad had a Dr. was named 'Koch', and he wanted it pronounced 'coke', which is understandable 😏

Michele,

I used to work at a large international bank and we had a member of senior management named Michele Labianca*. I was impressed that a female was on the board but had not had the chance to meet her.

There was another senior executive who we just called by his last name, McCaley. I had met with McCaley several times.

Some of you can see where this is going. "McCaley" is an Italian pronunciation/version of the man's name "Michael," spelled "Michele." There was no female board member and no board number named McCaley, either. I think it took me over a year to realize this!

*using fake generic Italian surname

Carol,

Koch “coke,” as in the Koch brothers, Charles and David, the industrialists and underwriters of right-wing causes—rather than “kotch,” as in the Mayor of NYC. Ed Koch.

I have never heard it pronounced with a hard k ending.

My husband and I both have non-gender specific first names. And both are spelled uniquely. Add to that a surname that is really quite simple, but very similar to a commercial product and you can imagine the confusion. I'm not sure if we spent more time correcting spelling or explaining which first name belonged to who. Because while both first names are not gender specific, they are each more common to the opposite sex.

Rusty

Like many females born in the South,, I was given a double name. I always hated it, as people would reverse it and change the "Helen" part to "Ellen." Finally, when I went to work full time, I unofficially changed my name and now go only by my first name. Such a relief, although my late husband's name always gets mispronounced. For some reason, people want to add an unnecessary "r" in it. Grrr!

Sometimes people substitute an A for an E in the middle of my name or tack an E onto the end of my last name. Neither of those bother me much but I constantly get called by a different but similar name and that drives me nuts. It’s especiallt irritating because it is my sister’s name.

mtnrdredux, that's so funny! did anyone ever tell the man about his written name looking feminine and sounding like a last name (to my American eyes and ears, too!)?

Michele, perhaps if you tell your in-laws "After all this time, could you just get the "L" outta here!" they'd remember how to spell your name!

I'm surprised about the tale of names mispronounced. Mi at the beginning of a word in Italian is like mee, not my. Michelangelo is mee kal an gelo. Add the A for Michael and I would expect the result would be mee ka el. Or, just Michael - most educated Europeans are familiar with names as pronounced in the language of origin.

I believe the German pronunciation of the name Koch would be close to a Scot saying the word Loch - the ending isn't a K but rather a throat-y sound, like clearing your throat. Perhaps in other countries with a K sound at the end but the O is not like in the word coke. And not kotch. Maybe it could be said that the O is like in kotch (ah) but then a K to end it. Close to cock but with a lower O.

I used to know someone who frequently told me that my going by my full name was unfriendly to her but the truth was she despised her own full name and wanted to go by the nickname but her mother insisted on using the full name. They had issues. People in the south often have nicknames as children that have nothing what ever to do with a given name. Both of my parents kept those nicknames as adults. My mother had four different ones depending on who was talking about her. Her adult nickname was based on the fiction of her being an Elizabeth like my great aunt had wanted her to be. It makes your head ache. My DH is almost always called by the full version of his name though he prefers the shortened form. His family will still pick at me because I dont use the diminutive with a y that they always used (think a name like Mikey) I outrage them on that point. Sigh. My explaining that he dislikes the name doesn't work for them.

Koch. We had a wonderful educator named Koch, pronounced ”cook”.

I have a friend whom I would love to call by a shortened version of her name. It would be intimate. and quick when I want to say ”oh, xx, look!” or ”oh, xx, I’m so sorry”. But, her name is her name, and I know she woould not want it. We talked about it once, she complained that someone else close to her had called her a shortened version. She said she noticed I never did, and I confessed I thought she would not like it. She said I was right. To this day, I have a shortened version I’d like to use, but I won’t. And I often felt that it was a way to keep people at arm’s length, because she does that in other ways. And I don’t think she realizes it. But, she did appreciate my recognizing that she wouldn’t want a nickname.

But, do I think that is true of everyone who uses their full name? No. everyone is unique.

You just jogged my memory, bpath! It was 'cook' that Dr. Koch insisted on, and my dad thought it amusing 😀

We had a high school teacher who pronouned his last name as ”Coburn.” I believe it was spelled Coch——.

Remember the nicknames, ”Squi”, PJ ? … (Brett Kavanaugh’s pals and his calendar)?

Jane Doe

Jayne Dough, Doh

Judy — too good to to true, so it gets misspelled?

Bruce Cockburn is pronounced coe-burn.

Alfred Hitchcock..

Wild Bill

I have friends and acquaintances who prefer their longer name be used. I never have a problem with that (there are two Roberts). I always use the name they give or sign.

I saw a doctor not long ago whose Southeast Asian surname was about 28 characters long. He suggested I just call him god. No, just ”Jon.”