I wholeheartedly agree and approve. I appreciate pleasant people and try to spread good feelings when I can.

What was the point of your friend mentiong this to you?

Different strokes for different folks. Neither right nor wrong.

My husband is amazed at how many connections I make. Even though I'm actually quite introverted and shy, I love to chat with strangers when I'm out and about, and with the employees I get to know in my stores and services.

When I come home and tell DH "so I was talking with someone today and...", DH chimes in "he went to school with your brother? She's from your mother's home town? They were in a show with X (an actress we know who is our subject of a game like Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon)?" And yes, it nearly always happens.

I am just like you jasdip.

As for talking to clerks, I sincerely doubt Jasdip would get in a conversation with one, if anyone was waiting in line behind her. And I doubt even when talking to someone, if no one was waiting, she would make it a very long conversation.

Arcy, I do NOT spend a lot of time talking to them when they're busy. I definitely call the cashier by name and they do me if they know it, at the grocery store. Then I bag my items and move on.

This particular one is at a local store and I was the only customer. Shortly after she first started, I asked if that were her car, and it was, and I commented how nice it was. She handed me the keys so I could sit in it!

Honestly - how dare anyone treat a service worker like an actual human being! The nerve! 🙄

In reality, I always make a point of looking employees in the eye and exchanging brief pleasantries while they're ringing up my purchase, and wishing them a good day. That doesn't cause any delays that I've ever witnessed. It's a win/win, IMO.

And FWIW, one of my pet peeves is customers who show a lack of regard for employees and others, like those people who just leave stuff strewn about on the floor in dressing rooms, for instance. False sense of entitlement, anyone?

I'm very friendly and outgoing by nature and enjoy meeting new people but I'm not generally interested in talking to random strangers. I'm normally cordial enough to avoid being rude but not more. An example, on an airplane, for the person sitting next to me, I'll greet them and maybe exchange a few words as the passengers settle in but that's usually the end of chatting unless something comes up of mutual interest or concern.

My conversation with retail clerks is limited to what's needed for our interaction. I completely agree with arcy, chatty cashiers and customers slow down the process of paying for purchases and even ten seconds of conversation beyond a cordiality is inconsiderate to others.

Obviously if we are considerate enough to be friendly we are also considerate to the people behind us in line.

I tend not to talk to my fellow passengers, although I did have a wonderful conversation with someone on a 3-hour flight once. It was 40 years ago and some of the things we talked about pop into my head to this day.

"Obviously if we are considerate enough to be friendly we are also considerate to the people behind us in line."

I believe this is your view and practice but it's contrary to what I see pretty regularly in grocery stores. Chatty customers are chatty in general, and not out of consideration to the cashier. These are often the same people who want to chew the ears off of strangers while waiting in line - I cordially ignore these types too. I don't care that they found larger ears of corn at the bottom of the display pile.

I miss the days when people would pass the time by chatting with strangers while waiting in a line. Today everyone is in his own shell, face glued to a screen. This 'separateness' illustrates a lack of empathy...why people can't seem to just 'get along' politely in public places (on highways, on aircraft, at *school board meetings*!)

One of the charms of Hawaii is the societal underpinning of Aloha, which basically means *seeing* a fellow human being and honoring him *for that alone*. Without this, we are no better than robots.

What a revelation of personalities here.

I often strike up conversations with strangers when I see they are receptive to it. It's never a deep soul bearing type of thing. Just an observation about whatever is going on at the moment. I appreciate any who does the same for me.

This whole thread reminds me of a conversation on Facebook between a couple of people I know. One was outraged that a restaurant she wanted to get a carryout order from told her over the phone that she would need to come in to place the order during their last hour of operation. She lives 5 minutes away. Another responded how the service at this restaurant had changed. Another chimed in that she and her husband went there on a Sunday afternoon and had to wait twenty minutes to get seated. The restaurant was busy. To this I say, you are privileged people and quit your bitchin'. You have plenty of time and money and yet you want instant service from people in an industry that is struggling to find help. When did people become so intolerant? It's not an attractive trait, believe me.

Me, in grocery line, to clerk: "I think I have all I need to make a large pot of chili."

Clerk, not stopping work: "Sounds good on a cold day".

No time lost.

Sushi, exactly.

I spend more time waiting and watching a woman watch the total add up, then open her purse, rummage around inside for her wallet, then open it, find the card or cash and then figure out how to put the card inside the machine.

I have my wallet in my hand and open, waiting for the total. I don't wait until the end to open my purse and start.

I don't believe some of you suggesting you've not been unnecessarily delayed by a cashier's mindless and unnecessary chatting. Their job is to give each customer a friendly greeting and perhaps ask if they had trouble finding anything or needed other help, efficiently register purchase prices and collect payment. Anything beyond that can delay their work and delay others. Ones who do this are typically very, very slow too.

With some of them, you'd think they were talking with a long lost friend they need to catch up with. Over and over again, with each customer. You can tell who those are, customers in their lines leave the line and go to others that move along more quickly.

I worked part time as a retail clerk while in college. My work was part time shelf-stocking, part time cashiering. It was pre-scanner days. We were given speed tests each quarter, each clerk with the same basket of items. It was a unionized job so they couldn't pay higher performers more but those who were faster on the test got better time slots and, for the part timers, more hours if they wanted them. Speed and efficiency does matter to the store management too.

Yesterday, in Lowes, the guy a checkstand over heard me telling the couple in front of us, those are French bulldogs. I said "super cute!" The guy heard me & brought the pups over to ME to be petted......they were super friendly dogs. I had to be grinning ear-to-ear. They were such little cuties! No one behind me in line.(He said he'd forgotton why he'd come in, so I wasn't holding him up, when I apologized for keeping him. lol)

The world is a much better place when everyone is getting along....smiling.....being friendly.

My life is not so busy nor my time so precious that I get my knickers in a twist if the customer ahead of me in line and the cashier have a quick chat. Especially in this day and age, interpersonal interactions are to be encouraged rather than avoided. And the cashiers at the stores I frequent seem to be quite efficient at managing both a friendly exchange and the processing/scanning of items.

If you are that pressed for time, use the self check out!

My DH say's I can talk to a rock.......... Yep I am always friendly and happy, or I stay home. Which is not often if ever LOL. I do not hold up lines at any stores for conversation.

My knickers don't get twisted, I just don't like inconsiderate people to decide how I spend my time. Same reaction when someone decides they'll get rid of their penny or quarter collections by dumping a pile on the counter to count out for the first time. Or who spend 2 minutes rummaging through their purse to find a penny so as to get a nickel, quarter, or dime instead of 4 pennies as return change.

Regardless, I'm not going to stop talking to clerks and strangers.

Thank you :) You are what the world needs more of.

"I just don't like inconsiderate people to decide how I spend my time."

LOL! YOU get to decide how to spend your time, not anyone else! If this causes you so much irritation, then pick a less busy time to shop or use the self check.

Honestly, this is so low on any list of things to be concerned about as to be a non-issue for many (most?) of us.

Attitude is everything. I confess I feel rather sorry for the person waiting in line who starts fidgeting and muttering crossly when things are moving slowly. I use such moments as an opportunity to practice patience and self control.

The checkers at the discount grocery near me have to look at the price tag on each item and then hit the proper number keys. Every other grocery store has scanners -- run the item across the stand and listen for the 'beep'. I haven't been a checker but I bet the scanner requires less concentration and therefore more ability to converse while you work than the old-fashioned method. Elmer, try shopping at a modern grocery! -- kidding, I know you do and you're just being Elmer :-)

Speaking of labor shortages, the other weekend DH and went to Kroger. Didn't notice anything amiss as we shopped, but go to check out and there was only one checker! Well, there was another clerk overseeing the self-checkout but our cart was not conducive to a quick self-checkout so we opted to wait in line. Finally our turn, DH chatted with the young man as he scanned our items (and we packed them). Thanked him for holding down the fort by himself, hoped he'd get a nice raise for his efforts. He smiled, carried on ... a nice young man.

I have noticed the very elderly will take more time and it could be one of the few personal interactions in their day. I am good to go with that. I will answer questions from the checker because I know they are normally expected to make some sort of chat. I can feel a little peevish is the checker and bagger have too much of a old home week but that is when I am especially tired. I certainly dont mind chit chat in the line. That slows up no one.

I think the grocery business may have become more competitive since Elmer worked in one. Today a friendly checker is prized because in polls customers say they value that highly. It's a major factor in retaining clientele.

I read the situation....if I'm the only one in line or my chat takes no longer than it does to ring me out, no one is held up, but people's interactions may help lift spirits for both of us. If the line is busy though, then of course it's not the place for distractions. I often have a one-line joke to tell the cashier as I'm leaving and which usually ends our interaction with a smile.

One of my favorite things is learning about other people. Everyone has a story and I can almost always draw it out of them. I'm told I'm a good conversationalist but it's only because people enjoy talking about themselves, lol.

Recently while in Zurich checking in for our flight home we were hit with a new regulation which was time consuming and required help from the ticket agent. We stepped off to the side to complete it but she would check on us periodically. Once we were checked in I thanked her for her patience and help and said I know her job has been difficult in recent months. I expected her to thank me and dismiss us but instead she said that yes it has been very hard. She went on to explain that there have been some requirements that she had no flexibility with, that she had passengers crying out of frustration and she couldn't really do anything to help (long story but with our situation there was a bit of flexibility), that as nice as they were her hands were tied. It was obvious she had some pent up anxiety/frustration and wanted to discuss it. It's always interesting to me to see how a little interest in people can most often get them to open up.

I never really initiate a conversation with a stranger but I will happily converse with one for a short time if they say something to me. It has happened a few times lately, usually someone commenting on whatever odd earrings I have in, a combination of food I am buying (I started building my candy cane stash for my Christmas display. I bought 40 boxes at the grocery store the other day on my way to work,all different kinds which I suppose provokes curiosity. I'm not even close to done.....) or something like that. I am always in a hurry when I stop by the store on the way to work so I never linger. And I have not observed that the cashiers are slower when they talk. Most people can multi-task, when one of those tasks is simply talking. I think its rude to linger and chat if you see people behind you waiting to check out. But I have rarely ever witnessed this behavior. There can be a happy medium. Friendly and chatty but not long winded or tiresome. Most people can navigate this pretty well. I use self checkout a lot when I am in a hurry. I think its a good option for those who get aggravated by other people interacting before their eyes.

My biggest pet peeve at the store is in the self checkout lanes. They never have the belts turned on, so you can unload your whole cart, but the belt never moves,so its pointless. I used to turn them on with the switch on the back that was supposed to be hidden I guess. But the last time I went the switch wasn't there. Its so pointless. Why turn them off at all????

Since the pandemic started I haven't been in stores very often, but parking lots are another matter. I'm a car person, and I've always talked to people about their cars. Now I have endless opportunities. :-)

"I think the grocery business may have become more competitive since Elmer worked in one. Today a friendly checker is prized because in polls customers say they value that highly. It's a major factor in retaining clientele"

This probably varies by area. The grocery business has long been extremely competitive in my area and was way back when I was in college.

I'm not suggesting this is/was true for you, chisue, but there was a time when the stay at home, non-working parent viewed grocery shopping as 60 minutes or however long as something to get out of the house to do and an opportunity for interaction with other adults. Often while kids were in school. That's something that's different now - more 2 worker couples, limited time and even dislike of shopping. Even as in-store visits have become safe to do, many people want to get in and get out. Many still like to save time by shopping on line and getting deliveries or doing parking lot/curbside pickups.

Not infrequently, when there's a lull in checkout activity and there are check stands with no lines, I see people going to and using the self service checkout areas. The proliferation of self-service checkouts saves labor costs but wouldn't have become so heavily popular if shoppers wanted to BS with cashiers. I think it's sometimes the opposite, it's a way to avoid it. I've even seen sometimes longer lines for the self checkout than for a checkstand with a cashier.

I appreciate friendly clerks, and I am friendly. Sometimes I get a sullen clerk. Maybe she/he has troubles in life. Occasionally I talk to strangers. I turned to a man in Trader Joes and said, ”Look here, a pound of. stewing beef $20!!”

If the person in front of me takes a few extra minutes to pay and get organized to walk away, I dont mind.

I will also make conversation with the person in front or behind me if there are several of us waiting in line...that's certainly not holding anyone up.

Grocery store scanners date back to the seventies. Of course your local area would vary but being in that extremely competitive area would make a difference. I moved around so have trouble identifying exactly when it became ubiquitous. I do remember George Herbert Bush being astonished to see such a thing in the late 80's/early 90's and having people be unkind about it. I was using a debit card in the 80's PNW so obviously a scanner was not some sort of unusual thing.

I dont think of my self as BSing with the cashier. I am aware the store wants them to chat. So I chat. They are nice people making a living.

Sometimes, if the previous customer was friendly, the clerk passes it on to the next.

A popular local grocery chain opened a store near us. I went, a few times. The checkers could not have been less personable. Even DH noticed, and he never chats up people. It was like they didn’t want to work there. It put me off the store. I have other options, in stores with nice employees.

I would still go in for a product that they carried at a much better price, and over time their staff did get more helpful. Alas, they no longer carry that item, so I don’t go. They probably don’t miss me, and I don’t miss them.

"Grocery store scanners date back to the seventies."

I can only share my experiences working in markets through '72. No scanners. I'm not sure how there could have been scanners before computers became ubiquitous and I don't recall seeing them much before the late 70s early 80s. That was when mini computers as from DEC, HP, and IBM's System 38s started to appear. But I'm basing this on my general recollection and with no hard dates or events in my life to refer to.

I don't mind people talking to people whether they be store clerks etc or people on the bus. To me it makes for a more enjoyable job. I think that's important for people's mental well-being.

I talk to some people but I'm not particularly gregarious. If I were I would do what you do so I say continue.

According to the National Museum of American history scanners were put in to a Marsh store in 1974. Wrigley's gum was the honored first scanned item.

https://americanhistory.si.edu/collections/search/object/nmah_892778#:~:text=On%2026%20June%201974%2C%20the,Marsh%20supermarket%20in%20Troy%2C%20Ohio.

1974 saw the roll out of grocery scanning, via the universal product code. https://www.wired.com/2008/06/june-26-1974-by-gum-theres-a-new-way-to-buy-gum/?currentPage=2

Why not offer up personal knowledge and experience rather than an internet search?

The first rockets were used over 500 years ago. Is that when long distance projectiles or earth orbit launches became common?

​I'm not particularly gregarious but I think I'm reasonably affable. I regularly exchange pleasantries with the cashier while he or she is scanning or bagging the groceries.  They all seem perfectly capable of having a quick chat with the customer while doing the job on hand. Most conversations I observe between customers and staff seem to be just like mine: no one is getting delayed so I don't see a problem. And heaven knows, people in these kind of jobs deserve a friendly word from time to time.

I do use self service a lot, mainly because it's faster. Where I live, it's mostly older people who don't like technology, or families with very full grocery carts, who use the full service. I often have a quick word with the person running herd on us self-servers too.   ;)  

I'm just not seeing the issue here. Society needs more, not fewer, connections between people.

Why not offer up personal knowledge and experience rather than an internet search?

There was question as to when price scanning began in grocery stores. I did not think my personal experience about that was interesting or could shed light. Even though I was working in a grocery in 1974, I do not remember if the newly built store I worked in had scanning equipment. I only remember that I saw UPC bars on food products for some time before I ever saw it used in a store. Ho-hum.

Thanks for looking that up Matthias. I’m going to share that with the next cashier who rings me up. I’ll bet they didn’t know that. ;-)

I self-scan at our grocery store so I never have the opportunity to chat. I do say hi and make brief chit cat in passing to the guy always stocking dairy products on the night I shop.

I DO talk to people on the Appalachian trail I meet every day. I particularly love talking to the thru-hikers. They are mostly kids and I am surprised that they often stop and talk to me a person old enough to be their grandmother. Often we talk for about 15 minutes. They're interested in the fact that I knew the first person ever to hike the trail in 1940.s. I have made trail friends that I enjoy being with.

Here in rural WV it's quite common on the back roads (and they're all back roads and all basically single lane) to find a car stopped in the middle of the road and driver talking to a person walking or in their yard, or two cars going in opposite directions stopped and the drivers talking. You just sit for 30-45 seconds until they finish and move on. No horn honking.

Also common where I live, when you pass another car on a back road, you wave--nothing fancy, just lift your hand slightly above the wheel. No longer so common is when someone in the yard waves at a passing car (just lift of a hand) and driver waves back.

I frequently make brief small talk with workers. Feels more polite than than standing there so close to someone who is there to help me, and not have any pleasant interaction. Doesn’t bother if people in front of me do it as long as it’s not obviously slowing down the process. It does bother me when someone in front of me gets into a full-blown conversation and they stand there holding the money or receipt as they finish their chit-chat. But that’s rare.

Far more frequent are other annoyances, some mentioned upthread. Waiting until the items are all rung up to get out your wallet to pay, as if paying were a surprise. Fussing with more than a few coins. Sorting and orienting your bills while blocking the line. Checking your receipt while blocking the line.

But even those I try to have more patience with. I find it’s mentally healthier to let the small stuff roll off my back than to get hot and bothered by every little thing.

That is the same where I live, laceyvail.

We're on a quiet street just a couple of blocks outside Philly. Lots of people with baby strollers and kids and dogs or just walkers and joggers. We wave to all and usually get a wave back. We stop the car in the street to talk to neighbors. We even stand in the street talking to neighbors.

Society needs more, not fewer, connections between people.

this