oh kathy--i'm sorry to hear that! i figure dad really has been pleased along the way but he's not gonna let us know that because it would just be out of character, ya know? anyway, that's the way i hope it is, and for you too! attached is a pic from this summer when i went home for a visit and includes my little sister and her daughter. you'd think he'd smile then but again, it's not his way. but he most assuredly loves us and was always one of the hardest working men i know! my oldest brother was born with a number of problems and needed numerous operations through his young adulthood. insurance didn't cover that--dad worked several jobs for a number of years to take care of things. fortunately, the other 4 of us were fine but man, not a decent set of teeth in the house! we all had braces because they thought that was important, even if we weren't exactly thrilled at the time. in fact, i remember being particularly resistant to the idea but i'm certainly happy my parents were smart enough to just plod on and take care of things. the other important thing was education. we were free to pick a career but by golly, we were going to college! i have no idea how they did it, but each of us was given that opportunity and a couple of us even finished! but i don't recall that turning him into a grinning fool either--not even when my youngest brother got his JD and a couple years later, his PHD. it's just not his way, you know? i'm sorry some of you are missing your dads--i do know what that's like. Mom died 20 years ago and that's been harder on poor pop than anything else i'm sure. he said at the time that his biggest regret was that they didn't get to celebrate their 50th anniversary--they only made it to about 46. sure wish i knew a way to fix that one... but it's almost time to pack up his christmas box. and we found the cardigan sweater vests that he wears all winter long and that i wasn't able to find the last 2 years. maybe it won't exactly make him smile, but i think it might at least please him a little bit. that and a few more cadbury bars and an extra large jar of WHOLE cashews (old family joke) and NO dry or clumpy popcorn, even though i know he'll be eating the nuts and the chocolates instead of breakfast. but at 91, i think he ought to be doing whatever he wants, don't you? happy birthday again, pop! Here is a link that might be useful: dad and crew

Moni, my daughter and her family are avid cyclists--and always well equipped! :-) Maire, I checked the website for the ride. There were five options for the event: 4 miles, 15, 32, 46, and 65. Nothing was mentioned about hills for the 32-mile route. The 46-mile course had 1800' of climbing, and the 65-miler was described as having an additional 3100' of climbing in 40 miles, plus "many hills to climb on this route." At least it was a cool day.

Thank you lovehadley. I have tried. I have put my heart and soul into my step kids. By my very nature I care for all kids. That is why I went into the profession I did and spent 3 years working with kids with emotional problems..mostly kids in the foster care system, but some were not. I didn't do it for very long, because there came a time when there was no line between work and home. I would have to deal with kids issues at work, and then come home to the same thing. Most of my "anger" & "frustration" is my very own defense mechanism, because I have been hurt by the things my sd says and does. When you see it, hear it, and live with it day in and out, it wears you down. You weaken, and it is hard to be solid for them. You can know the whys and hows of a situation or behavior, but it doesn't matter when you are pushed away constantly, over and over again. Plus it isn't the first time. This was also the case with her brother as well. I think we went to stress mode earlier with her because we instinctively knew what it was going to be like. Her dad and I both would love to go to counseling for ourselves, but we simply can not afford it. Not with her going to therapy twice a month. She needs it more than we do. She was going every week, but we had to go every other week because of cost. Her mom doesn't help pay for anything. So my dh and I just try to keep communication real open between us. We have our moments, but we work through them. It has been difficult just to try to keep our family together. The stress that both of my step children cause is tremendous. I am not blaming them either, it is just the way that the situations are. With my ss on his way to fatherhood with no job, no place to live with a new family, possibly stealing from us, and not speaking to his dad, it is a stress. With my sd constantly in some sort of mood, and wanting attention and not knowing the proper way to achieve good attention, being mean to her little sister and brother, and not working in therapy....it is stress. We have our six year old who will be going into the first grade, and she is our drama queen. She wants the tips of her hair dyed to look like her friends, she wants a cell phone for her 7th birthday, she wants to stay up till midnight, and the list goes on. Our now 2 year old can open our doors, locks and all, so we have to be on constant alert, he climbs on everytthing and falls off too, so he is full of bumps and bruises, he won't leave his big sis alone (6 year old), he hates taking naps, he doesn't like to go to bed, he always wants to be outdoors even if its raining, the list goes on. My point is, that whether we have my sd's issues or not, we have other children in the house who are growing up as well and they too need our attention, and when my sd is acting out, demanding our attention, it takes away from the family as a whole. She has to learn how to get the right kind of attention, she has to learn how to maintain the relationships in her life, and how to be a part of the family, and on and on. I did not include any issues from my oldest son. Not because he is "perfect", but because he has a very special ability to see the stress that we are under, and he keeps things real simple. His minimal requirements are that mom feed him and help him keep his clothes clean, and have a bit of conversation with his silly questions each day (like..."If I used my cell phone in another country, and dialed my own phone number would someone else answer?" lol) and he is pretty much a happy camper. I try to spend some alone time with him (like when we go for our walks), so he can see I am okay. Because he is moving into a mode lately of worrying about mom a little too much. Yesterday I didn't feel well, and he brought me a cup of ice water, ibuprofen, and some vitamin C. He is a good boy. I am blessed to have him. I have to pick him up soon, as he spent the night with a friend. So sorry for the rambling post. But I feel like I have to over explain everything here, because some people just don't want to accept that I have skids who are truly in need of professional help, and that I am not the reason behind my sd's behavior.

I'm sorry your event couldn't take place as usual with the socializing Jas - but it certainly looks like a successful day! And your 4-legged 'date' good company too. As for the mustang, I'd think that would be a good choice for you and match your spirit. I haven't driving one in many years, my mother had one that I used in high school sometimes, then bought my own 2nd hand VW bug and that was the end of using her car ;0) Congratulations on another great Ride for Dad!