One thing I learned, if you don't have a "go" bag, then at least spend some time thinking about what one might need should you face an emergency.

I wish I remembered to bring my phone charger as I had no idea how long I was staying, and when I left, my phone wasn't fully charged. My dear neighbor drove all the way to the hospital to bring me his portable charger! What a peach.

I should keep a copy of DH's medicare/secondary insurance cards and his driver's license with me as I remember to grab my purse, but not his wallet. And he should have mine with him. The hospital already had that info, but if we ended up some place else, they might not have.

I should keep a list of the meds he's on and dosages. Fortunately with the electronic medical records, the hospital did have that info, but again if we ended up some place else, they might not have. And again, he should have mine with him.

So hard to keep one's head straight in an emergency but things like logistics of who is going with whom and how people are going to get home is important. Fortunately my neighbors were able to return in the ambulance and I drove myself to the hospital so I was able to get home.

Call for help. When I saw how bad DH was, I called my neighbor who is an EMT and he came right away. The best thing he did was insist we call the ambulance. Had he not been there, DH would've insisted I just drive him there and a) we could've lost him on the way if he turned south and b) by going in an ambulance, the ER gives you immediate attention...none of this waiting room stuff and we'll get to you, have a seat. And man, DH needed immediate attention!

When someone you know is going through this and you want to help, do more than tell them they can call you if they need anything. Rather make specific suggestions as to what you can do. It will be more helpful to them. My neighbors offered a couple of things which I didn't need, but it made me feel free to ask them to feed my cats which I did need. They also called me to say they were going grocery shopping and could they pick up anything...there were a couple of things I needed and so appreciated their help. But to rely on me to think about asking them? Wasn't going to happen.

It would only help if you were with it enough to remember and I need to do it myself but type your prescriptions on your computer and take a picture of the screen if you do not have something like a health app on your phone. Keep in a separate album of medical pictures. If you do have a health app actually enter the information such as allergies, medications, and procedures. I do not know if a verbal OK will allow medical personnel to open the app but if you have someone accompanying you if you are physically unable they may if you allow them.

Keep copies of any medical directives and/or DNR instructions with you. EMT's if you are needing immediate care will take you to the nearest hospital and not to the one that may be your preferred one.

I keep copies of my medical directives, medications and insurance cards on my phone. You could also keep a copy of that same information for your partner/parent/etc. on your phone for easy access.

You are entering the world of the medical/industrial complex. They will tell you it's your choice, but they know better, they have more experience, they can out talk you and you will end up doing what they say, even if you think it's wrong.

They decided they should risk DH's kidney function by using contrast in an angio to try and stop the bleed by inserting a coil. I kept asking, why can't they just do a 2nd colonoscopy and see the bleeder and clip it off? Oh the tissues are too fragile, it's too inflamed, etc. etc. That was Saturday night. So with the risk of dialysis on the table, they went in and after a few hours managed to stop the bleed. By Sunday am he was bleeding again. So what did they do? They did a 2nd colonoscopy and clipped the area and managed to stop the bleeding. That very same procedure that was impossible on Saturday night became the best option on Sunday a.m. My point of view then and now was that the 2nd colonoscopy was all that was needed. There was no need to put his kidneys at risk. But who am I to say? Who am I to know? I'm only the dumb patient's wife with no medical training. Thank goodness his kidney function has been maintained!

What you can do is be the patient's advocate and be the watchdog. Follow up on everything. Listen to your inner spidey-sense and if something doesn't seem right, ask. I asked about the plasma he was receiving. I asked about the blood type he was receiving. I asked about his medications, I asked, and asked and asked. I got good answers while delivering the message that they must be on the ball with this guy as someone is watching.

When the fluids stopped flowing, within 5 minutes, he'd suddenly crash...become unresponsive, almost start seizing, trembling, gasping for air... and I'd see him leaving me. (That happened 5 times on Saturday. 5 times I almost lost him.) By watching him vigilantly, I was able to make that association, tell them about it, warn them that he was going south in 5 min unless they started more fluids, call for help as soon as I saw him starting to go out on me. No way could the nursing/doctor staff watch him that closely, but I could. They didn't know him and what color he normally is, but I do. I could tell just by looking at his face when he started bleeding the 2nd time....and when it was over. Be the rational observer for the medical staff. It could save the patient's life.

I have my diagnoses, MD's info, next-of-kin's contact info, and vital meds on a card taped to the back of my driver's license. That, (and my insurance info!), are sure to be First Seen if I'm unconscious.

Absolutely, do call for an ambulance! The EMTs can intervene to keep the patient alive enroute to the hospital and will alert the emergency dept. to what's coming. You'll be evaluated immediately on arrival at the hospital.

DH and I have recently completed our POLST forms. (Some call these DNR forms, but they are more detailed.) Reflecting on my emergency last July, I'm trying to think how best to handle a similar future event. I didn't *need* to go to hospital -- where I was kept three days, given several tests, and received an angiogram. I wonder if I could have just asked for an IV and anti-nausea meds *before* being loaded into the ambulance. The expensive and tedious hospital part was in the category of 'an abundance of caution'. All I really needed was to stop the heaves...and to be prescribed an anti-acid to take before breakfast every day.

Annie is right about being an active (even *pushy*) patient advocate. I am one. DH is not. I loved the advice of my night nurse a few years ago when I was hospitalized after a surgical bleed. The MD's were pushing me to have a transfusion. I've never had one, and resisted, but I wanted to go home. This nurse reminded me that *I* was in charge of me! I discharged myself and rested at home while my hemoglobin regenerated.

I have to add, always ask what you are being given. Don't blindly take medications without asking if the nurse doesn't tell you what they are. So many times I've started to read off all the meds and the patient will stop me and say they don't know what they're on "just give them here." Their wife takes care of their meds and they have no idea except maybe a vague one about what they're taking it for. Doctors, or med students (in a lot of hospitals) make errors, pharmacists make errors and finish off wrong medications or dosages and then nurses don't always catch errors either and will give them. I've seen a lot of errors. Seen nurses give totally wrong meds to the wrong patients, after the fact. A LPN I used to work with lost her mother to a blood transfusion in another hospital that wasn't meant for her. If she had been there, there's no way that would have happened but it was a day she wasn't with her mother. Question everything, even if you think you're going to annoy that nurse. It's your life. And you should know what you're taking at home. Your spouse may not always be there. I've heard that too, "my wife used to take care of all that".

A comment about taping things to the back of your drivers license. It will depend on if you license has a bar codes on the back. I recently purchased drinking alcohol and the clerk scanned the back of the drivers license. If you were stopped for any reason anything taped would be torn off and may not be given back to you. This area used to have what was called safety checks where either random or everyone depending on where it was located where they checked various things.

Strongly agree with Kathsgrdn, I can't tell you how many times I have admitted a patient who had no idea what his prescriptions were, or what they were for. "Ask my doctor" was a common reply - but it is the weekend or after hours, and even if it were a weekday with that office actually open, it would require you to sign a release (even though it is NOT legally necessary, most MD offices, even other hospitals, will demand it), and for us to call the office, get the fax number, fax it over, hope that their fax is actually working, and wait for their office staff to get around to responding (sometimes having to wait until the end of office hours for them to get the MD's permission to send us the information!).

When you go into the ER or wherever they first list your medications, ask the person doing the entry into the computer to read back their entry to you, to make sure it is correct. I have sadly seen mistakes made at this point. And don't forget to mention ALL over the counter remedies, supplements, or vitamins - and how much - that you are taking regularly.

Every time you visit your MD, ask them to print off your current medication list and give to you (if they don't give you a printed visit summary that has it); keep that in your wallet/purse, and be sure to throw out the old one.

Annie, you did an outstanding job as your hubby's advocate! It is so important to have someone with you who can watch & question & say yes or no. My fellow retired nurse friends & I always encourage having an advocate. How is your DH doing now?

Thanks lizzie, he's doing better every day. Still gets tired out quickly, but he's motivating around and sleeping well. We took a short walk today just to get things moving again. He gets blood work on Monday so we'll see how he's doing with that.

My advice is to keep a list of all doctors, pharmacies, emergency contact people, addresses and phone numbers, a list of all current medications including vitamins and any allergies, blood type and medical insurance, medical directives including Polst if you have that. Copies should be in your purse at all times, in spouse's wallet, in glove compartment of all vehicles and one on the refrigerator for EMT's to have quick and easy access. If someone other than your spouse or you has power of attorney over you, that person should also have copies of everything.

Sounds dumb but be sure you put a sweater in your go bag. I took my mom to the ED once and nearly froze to death. She had blankets but i did not!

Good point dedtired. I was dressed for summer in shorts, not for hours in air conditioning. Fortunately the ICU nurse brought me a blanket which I was able to wrap up in.

Great subject Annie!

Side point...DH suffers with sleep apnea and of course we didn't bring his cpap with him. In the ICU, they said he really needs it as his O2 levels would drop so low while he was sleeping that he'd set off the alarms. So rather than cpap, they put him on a low level of oxygen while he was sleeping and that seemed to help.

If you carry your spouse’s medications list make sure it’s CLEARLY labeled. My father came home with extra medications on his list, took a while but we figured out he handed them a small, worn piece of paper, and they didn’t realize the faded initials on the top meant one side was for him and one side for my mom. Full name, clearly written, should have avoided this.

I thought of something else: often after the house staff, sometimes even the attending, had been in to update the family and patient, I had to "translate" what they had said into simpler English, often with additional explanation about why and what. Especially the house staff will have a tendency to fall into using medical jargon, forgetting that non-medical people aren't usually familiar with the terms.

So, my advice is always to not be shy about asking us to repeat, rephrase, define, and explain further - no matter how rushed or busy they might seem to be! It is our JOB to be sure you understand clearly and you are paying for that!

Also keep a paper and pen handy to jot down questions as you think of them, or information that you are given (which can be an overwhelming amount.)

Good points raee. When I was helping my Mom through her terminal cancer, I kept a notebook with me all the time where I took notes about decisions, test results, medication changes, doctors, etc. There was no way I could keep it all straight without it.