Ded -- Missing is the part about *not* going while your master is standing at the back door at 3 a.m. waiting for you to do your business. "I won't go, and you can't make me!"

A squirrel was sitting in an apple tree. All of a sudden a cow started climbing up the tree. Surprised to see a climbing cow the squirrel asked the newcomer, "What the heck are you doing here?" The cow replied, "I thought I'd eat some oranges." "But this is an apple tree." "I know. I brought my own."

There is an infamous train trestle in my area that is constantly being run into by trucks whose drivers don't heed the low clearance signs, or simply don't know how tall their trucks are. Yesterday, this one hit it: If you can't read the truck, it says: Intelligence Delivered.

Susan, so funny. Once we were at a restaurant and the waitress asked if we wanted peekin pie. Never heard it pronounced that way.