I think the shades you described will help but the offender is the led lights that are used in so many small fixtures and recessed cans and standard fluorescents. If you have a main overhead fixture that is fluorescent use warm white bulbs instead of the standard "blue" white variety. That should warm the whole kitchen up from a lighting standpoint and as much as its anti "green philosophy you may want to choose pendants that use small wattage incandescents to help give you a warmer light.

Honeybeen, Moonshadow is right, I am a huge fan of the old Martha colors, and the woman who designed them. In the interest of keeping things simple, I will throw out a few Ben Moore Colors for you to consider. Take a look at Chalk White 2126-70, Silver Crest 1583, Cascade Mountains 862. Those are just a place to start. You might also like Ellen Kennon's Gustavian Gray. Hard to say what it will do in your home, but it is a lively complex color which leans blue, green, gray at various times of the day. General things to keep in mind are that color will appear differently in your home than in mine or anyone else's. Depending on how much and what kind of light you have, the colors above may or may not wash out. If you have a lot of natural light from a southern exposure, for example, you may need to go with a more saturated color. What else you have in the room, as well as your trim color, will make a big difference because color is what it is in relationship to what's around it. Anything in the room that lives on the opposite side of the color wheel will bring out the blue-ness of the paint. Put a terra cotta sofa or artwork against the walls and they will read blue. Put a navy sofa in there and they will read gray. Finally, I will tell you what I tell clients...a little blue goes a long way! You are absolutely right in looking for a gray with a hint of blue.

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French blue, sometimes shows up a bluish gray. It all depends upon your lighting in your room.