Haha! I must be your exact opposite, which is funny because you are one I have felt a kindred spirit with! But I am an optimist, too much so some say, I've been called a Pollyanna. :)

Here's an example. The next house down the road from us is a couple who have lived there since before we built our house. So of course, they are getting older although in pretty good health. But things are getting harder for them to do. I went out the other day and saw a truck parked down their way (a red flag because people who live here do not park on the road) and then realized the man driving it had his leaf blower and was cleaning out along the curb. Our homes are very spread out and part of the road where he was cleaning doesn't even have houses. But he wanted to keep things looking nice, plus it was a help to the older couple.

One more. Our best friends have two married sons and the whole family IS family to us. The boys and their wives we think of as partly our children LOL. The boys often come to my husband for help with things (he is more hands on/diy than their daddy) and it warms my heart. So, I recently had a b-day and one of the boy's wives sent me a video. It was their 7 year old autistic son telling me happy b-day and blowing me a kiss. Made. My. Day.

And another (sorry) - but it really is the little things that can make your day, melt your heart, fill you with happiness. Again, I had a b-day and most of you know I worked for many years at a university. I made special relationships with several of our students. The day of my bday, I had several texts, FB wishes, etc. Two of the young men that I absolutely loved and could have adopted LOL, texted me. They are both far away now, one in CA, one in TX. I could not stop smiling. I treasure those friendships. One of the young men is getting married later this year and is keeping me in the loop on their plans. It's so sweet.

I really do try to smile at people, speak, etc. (when I actually got out and about!) because it can light up a person's day. I fall short many times. We don't know what a person is going through and sometimes just a smile, a kind word, a bit of tenderness as Oco says, can mean so much to a person.

Love this. ❤️

This past year has certainly been a tough one for us all, but I’ve tried my hardest to stay positive and empathetic towards others (there are exceptions, of course, but in general). It’s not always easy! :D

I’m trying to be more patient, more understanding. When I do have to be out somewhere: compliment strangers, help someone struggling, be friendly. We’re all in it together, everyone just trying to get by, everyone coming from different backgrounds and experiences.

This just came to mind, not a big deal, but most recent example: when I called the post office about my Dala runner (you know the story), she said, oh, you better hurry and get up here and pick it up before it gets sent off to the wrong address! My first thought was, EXCUSE ME? I paid to have this shipped, it’s your mistake, you bring it to me like you’re supposed to! I’ve been waiting weeks!

Then she called me honey. And I’m serious, the sweetness of her voice just stopped me in my tracks. And when I went to pick up the runner, she was just the kindest lady, a bit on the frail side, just trying to do her job ... and we chatted and laughed for a bit (we weren’t at the main counter, so not holding up the line). If I had fussed at her on the phone, I would’ve felt so awful, and deservedly so. Makes me cringe just thinking about it.

Leaving, I looked around at how frantic the place was, at how hard the employees were working, how exhausted and drained they must be ... and I felt bad for ever being impatient about packages I’m privileged to order.

Oco, I really appreciate you for starting this thread. I will make more of an effort to see the flip side of things so I can come back and share.

Not the same but: I have a work friend who I have always thought to be kind. One day she shared that she tries to do something nice for someone every day.

An on purpose conscious effort.

Something happened to me just this morning along these lines. I recently moved to a city that's a bit more diverse and progressive than my old one. I was walking this morning to a coffee shop, and as I paused to cross the street, a gentleman about my age but of a different race was waiting at a bus stop. I said hello, and he asked, "You out getting your exercise?" I said yes. He smiled and said, "That's good for you, baby!" Coming from a stranger, the term "baby" would usually make me cringe. But there was nothing flirtatious or creepy in his tone--just an older guy cheering on an older woman. It was a nice human connection with no underlying themes... just connection.

Ocotillo, a teen boy who says good morning before 11 a.m. is something to treasure. ;-)

Too many to mention, but this happened just the other day. This is my special friend‘s sweet M.O. In a group of three, or many more, when it can be difficult to get a word in...ha!...she will make sure others get to have their moment. At the right time, she will say: “ Marti’s been helping her dd design her ..“., allowing my me my moment. Then, “Oh! And Sue’s son got...you tell , Sue.” That sort of thing .

She flys under the radar, it’s a very subtle and terribly sweet. It’s a tender gesture that gives me a tender feeling towards my friend. I try to emulate it, but too often don’t remember.

Tooting my own horn: I’m a giver of compliments. I often look for something I can genuinely praise about one who might, in my mind, need a compliment. Waiting in line behind an otherwise unattractive girl I mIght say how gorgeous her hair is, how shiny. At times, it takes effort To find something, but often I’m rewarded with the resulting surprised smile. I know the truth in ‘good deeds release happy endorphins.‘ I’m a “ people person” who never meets a stranger, so it comes easy to me, Sweeter still are the tender gifts rendered by those, like my friend above, who fly under the radar.

Like Feathers, I have been on the receiving end of a stranger’s kindness that still touches me.

A few years ago I was having some health issues, which caused weight loss and weakness. I, naively, thought only people who knew me would notice, and that to the outside world I looked and acted fine.

I was walking towards the library carrying my bag full of books to return. The bag was heavy and I had to keep switching arms and putting it down to rest for a second. A young mom, maybe 30-ish, was walking nearby and casually asked “can I help you with that?” I was embarrassed and surprised that I looked like I needed help but I was touched that she offered.

The second episode was the same time period. Because I picked up shirts at the dry cleaner every week, they may have noticed the (slight? maybe I’m in denial 😆) physical changes I was going through. One week there were many more shirts than normal and I said “oh, that’s a lot of shirts.” The guy working there just grabbed them all off the rack, carried them to my car, and hung them up for me. He had never done it before, or since, but I must have looked like I needed the help. And I did. And it was so kind of him to just help without fuss or fanfare.

Now that I’m back to normal, I try to pay the kindness forward but probably overlook opportunities all the time. Thank you for reminding me to be more alert.

Y'all are genuinely good people and you inspire me tremendously. Thank you so much for sharing of yourselves in this thread.

My determination seems to wax and wane with my mood du jour, and, as happens today when I'm feeling a bit "off" in my tummy, I lack the motivation to even think kind thoughts, much less smile and engage and go out of my way to lift someone else. I'm going to try, though, before the day is out. I really will.

We have a new temporary employee in our work group. I've passed by her several times, but I'm ashamed to admit that we had never spoken. We aren't the greatest about introductions around here when somebody new joins the group; it's more a matter of people just plunging in to get the work done. This is out of necessity, but it can sometimes remove a needed human element from the picture. I had realized this past weekend that I'd not once spoken to the new person (who is youngish and seems on the quiet/shy side), so yesterday I made a point of getting myself up and walking to her office, just to say hello. The smile that spread across her face at simply being noticed just lit her from within, and I felt so good about having done that one small thing for the rest of the day.

It really is amazing to think of how much these "small things" matter. I'm thinking that more often the not, that which I consider "small" is actually quite large for somebody else.

I love these stories. They inspire me, too. :)

I have a bad case of Footin Mouthus. It’s an awful affliction. I love to tease people and am a giant smart-a** ... so have to be careful around people who don’t know me. 😬

I was reading a book by an American woman living in France with her husband, and they have two children there. She learns that when you walk into a store, you always say “bonjour, madame”, and it is essentially acknowledging their humanity. I think that’s how she put it. And when you leave, you say “au revoir, merci” even if you didn’t buy anything. I use that a lot now, in many situations. When I enter my grocery store I have to walk past the customer service desk, and I always try to catch the eye of someone and say hello.

My dad taught us, living on a one-lane street, how and when to let an oncoming car pass, and to give a wave, because they either are your neighbors, know your neighbors, or might someday BE your neighbors. Good idea.

But if they're your neighbors who install a stinky cooking vent into your pretty little garden, then all bets are off. ;-D

(Sorry; I'm still a little bitter. And I digress.)

Well, one of them does burn wood and yard waste in the yard occasionally, and the smoke does waft toward the house. It can be a bit acrid, depending on what he’s burning. Other than that, he’s a good neighbor. It doesn’t bother me, but DH hates it with a capital H, and if we lived there, it’d be hard living with him. DH, I mean.

I'm a good natured person and not being nice is off for me. Basically, I'm that good egg. Darn it. But, we have a neighbor from h3ll who I've been undeservingly nice to since 1992 because she's one of those kooks one needs to appease or the cray-cray sprays everywhere. She upped her terrible human status 6 years ago and has kept it up since then. I've been no contact/no eye contact/no acknowledging her existence since then and it's been hard for me. The rest of the family is very good at it and doesn't give it second thought. For me, it has been a struggle. It's for the best that I remain this way in regards to terrible human next door, but I guess I'm not a curmudgeon and this doesn't come naturally to me. I'll be glad when either she or we move so I can be 'normal' outside my house once again!

We have a new neighbor on the other side and I've wanted to introduce/be nice/offer newbie to the rough area help if asked/bring a plate of Christmas dinner, but he's a certified introvert and we are respecting that about him. He's so quiet, we didn't know he was living 6 feet away from us for 3 months. He was all alone during Christmas and I wanted to share a plate of our rather minimal dinner with him, but I figured the nicest thing I could do is leave him alone.

I always ask the clerk anywhere how their day is going, and mean it. I help people put chains on their tires when they are stranded in the snow. Or will drive their car out of the ditch or berm if I happened to be walking by when they are high-centered, because it's one of my special talents in life for some reason--if I can't get the car out and back in business, it's time to call for a tow truck and I'll help with that if needed. Our part of the street is prone to spin outs and crashes and we will go outside and ask if they are alright--should we call a tow truck for you--do you need an ambulance? Stuff like that. No one else comes out to offer help but they will lookieloo.

I've been helpful and friendly to the new person at work because it's who I am. They've told me later: you were the only person who was nice to me for months. That made me sad. I've also been the new person who no one in the entire building would say boo to. Years later, it still gives me the jeebies that no one would acknowledge I existed or answer a question. It was a good reminder to myself that a little kindness and humanity goes a very, very long way.

You mention student drivers...that to me, is a thing that gives me the sore heart. You know they are top shelf nervous in that car. It pains me when I see other drivers being rude to them. I give them a wide berth and send them good wishes. My g'ma didn't learn to drive until she was in her 50's and she said it was the scariest thing for her to learn to do. When you are a teen and go through that, yes, it's scary, but not nearly as scary as it is for people old enough to be aware of their mortality when they learn to drive. The older student drivers for me too, I want to send them messages of 'it's going to be ok'.

I think nowadays, people really could use kindness and also people could be kind more often.

I am the weirdo who complements strangers on everything, and becomes close friends with the checker, sack person, waitress at the Mexican restaurant, whatever. Hugging Bosnian women at Aldi has become a hobby. They always seem to appreciate that someone speaks to them, and we talk and shop. I believe that sometimes it takes ALLLLL the intention in the world to take something as positive, instead of negative, but it changes the way we see LIFE, and that changes the way life sees us.

I have a friend who I think is probably the neighborhood witch. At least she tells me her neighbors call her that. She's an amazing woman who has had a hell of a life but is also knowledgeable and appreciative of the decorative and fashion arts. Jewelry, art, design, textiles. And brilliant. Direct, often overly so. Didn't mince words. Kind of like "Where'd You Go Bernadette". Her neighbors can't stand her. I wish they would take a moment or two to get to know her, and look past her rough mannerisms to the true person she is. She can still put out her claws even to her friends, but she will also set everything aside to help. Her tenderness comes in a different form, it's not packed in eiderdown and sugar.

Love this thread. I'm sometimes stunned by the almost magical effect of 'seeing' someone. Taking a second to say, thank you, can I help, you go first, etc. It must be genuine. I don't think any of us are fooled by smarmy types. But there is so often an easy way to be kind. I was at Trader Joe's yesterday, and it was my turn. I had already noticed a young woman behind me, with maybe ten items. Not nearly as many as I had, but not just two either. Her body language told me she was a bit stressed and rushed. So when the cashier called me over, I just stepped aside, and said, "Please, go ahead. I have a lot more." The relief just flooded her face. I mean flooded. I almost thought she might cry! What did it cost me? Four minutes....

I love these stories! A couple of days ago I walked a few blocks away to check out an apartment building that has a listing that I'm interested in. I didn't have an appt. to view the unit, just wanted to get a feel for the block. I stopped a gentleman who looked like he was about to enter the building but he was not, I explained that I was wondering how the building is. Is it heated well, etc. (You never know in NYC how some buildings are managed.) He told me that his friend lives in the building, "Let me call him up". I told him no, you're too kind, you don't have to do that, but he insisted. Turns out he didn't have his friend's number after all but assured me that he had been in the building, it's very nice and he can run in to see if his friend is home. Of course I thanked him and refused buy what a nice guy. From there I went to the hardware store to see if they had seed packages for sale yet. I wanted to get thyme and chive seeds for my windowsill. The guy behind the counter told me that they haven't gotten them yet, they'll be in in a month. But he has last year's seeds, (which should still germinate) and I can take all of them for free. LOL I don't really have much use for most of the seeds as I live in an apartment but I didn't want to stand there picking through all the seed packages, there were probably 100 envelopes packed tightly into a box. He said You come in often, and we appreciate it. I'm sending most of the seeds to friends who live outside of the city and have gardens. So it was a really nice day. There are so many kind people out there, sometimes it's kind of shocking! I can't remember the last time I encountered anyone who was rude to me. Recently someone hung tote bags on a fence for anyone to take, "Being Nice is Free" was printed on them. My neighbors are all very friendly which just makes life so much better. (Except for the stomper who lives above me but I try not to get too annoyed!). I think when I was younger I could get snippy with people sometimes but I believe I've mellowed and really enjoy interacting with most people I meet.

Today I was driving to my mother's assisted living facility to drop something off to her. On my way past the independent living apartments I saw an elderly woman out for a walk. She was holding some cut branches and was wearing cheery red lipstick. I waved to her and got the biggest, most beautiful smile and wave in return. I vowed on the spot to be cheerier and smile more. The red lipstick is a no-go for me though! She looked vibrant and happy and I hope to be like that as an elder.

Love reading the kindness evident in these stories.

I always try to help people when out and about, whether it’s just opening and holding a door for someone, acknowledging another human who needs a smile or a hello, or letting someone go ahead in the grocery line.

On Monday several of us visited a dear lady who turned 88 yesterday. She is widowed and in independent living now. We took her cupcakes and a card and were allowed to visit with her in one of the rooms, socially distanced while we enjoyed the cupcakes and conversation. She was so appreciative.

In my volunteer job, I have been designated the ‘lead’ for organizing the volunteers. Basically I interface with the horticulture director and staff to ensure we are doing what needs to be done and pass along that information and guidance to everyone. Several of these ladies have much more knowledge than I do about plants, and I always let them, and all the volunteers, know how much they are appreciated, often deferring to them for opinions and decisions. The person who used to be the lead had loads of restrictions on operation of the greenhouses, and many of the volunteers were afraid to speak up and became resentful. They have mentioned how much more relaxed and fun it is now. Made my day (even if I am blindly stumbling along).

Octo, thank you for starting this. I am a retired teacher and of course have had MANY students over the years. It just cracks me up and warms me up when they “ friend” me on Facebook. Recently I responded to a post by one of them in which she was looking for something regarding some local history. I have access to it and will be dropping it off to her in a nearby town. She said that she is so excited to see me again. The last time I was 23 and am now 70! She is 58. We are both looking forward to this!

Instead of pressing 'like' on each post, may I just do that here? It's been nice to read all these contributions. :^)

Being pretty much housebound for almost a year I came up empty on recent examples of kindness. Until Jinx wrote about being called "honey." Wasn't it only a few years ago women complained when a waitress called them "honey, dear, sweetie?" The topic did concern me. What is the BFD (sorry) when you are called an endearing name by a stranger?

Last year I went to town to pick up Subway sandwiches and of course I used the drive through. A worker I'd never seen before opened the sliding window and first thing out of her mouth was "Good morning, beautiful."

I almost started crying & I said to her that no one's called me that for years. I was happy all day long, and now she says it to me every time she's there for a pick-up.

One time when I went to pick something up she was at the window and I started ordering and she said pretty loud, "I can't hear you, role your window down!" LOLOL

This one I'll never forget as long as I live which I've told before but some may not have read it. DS2 was in the ER and I was outside the room by myself because they didn't want me to come in. I was so worried and standing there all alone in the hallway when an elderly woman who volunteered there just walked up to me and said "I think you need a hug." I did, and I hugged her hard.

Yeah, it's just the little things in life, like when people choose empathy over apathy.

That is sweet Oakley. I’m sure your husband thinks you are beautiful. Shame on him for not telling you!!

I understand what Jinx meant about “endearments” by men. They are not always meant in the sweet way the man talked to her.

It certainly is the little things. Something Ive done and what I’m now commiting to doing more of us calling those elderly people you know who are alone and have really been isolated during this pandemic. Many don’t have a “bubble” and are truly alone. I’ve been sending cards to my lunch bunch ladies and have valentines to send. Even when we don’t have face to face contact with people, we can let them know we are thinking of them. :)

Back In my first townhouse, my next door neighbor was, I though, a bit crotchety, and her two boys not much better. We could hear them through the walls. One day, I happened to lock myself out of the house with my toddler inside. I knocked on her door, and amid chastising me for not having a key hidden somewhere in the complex, she let me use her phone while she headed out to work, and how to lock the door when I was done and where to hide her key. Later we chatted and I learned how her son’s bar mitzvah was coming up and she had had to scrimp and save for it, and her ex was not only hosting another, bigger, party for it. but also buying both kids bikes and summer camp for the occasion. And I heard how she felt about it.

I had known, but this drove it home, that everyone has something. Yeah, Emily Litella had it right. It’s always something. So be nice. And from my defensive driving courses (don’t ask), you can’t control other people, only how you react.

Defensive driving courses, eh? Hmmm. There's an interesting story there. :)

Now don't laugh but I got something in the mail today that brought tears to my eyes. The 2 orchids arrived that weren't supposed to get here until the end of next week. That alone made me happy. Inside each box (the plants were in excellent condition) was a card with the steps of growing the orchid.

The first paragraph said,

Hello,

Nice to meet you!

My journey was long and finally I am home.

To keep me alive please follow my care tips.