A month after Donald MacDonald started at Harvard, his mother called from Scotland. “And how are the American students, Donald?” she asked. “They’re so noisy,” he complained. “One neighbour endlessly bangs his head against the wall, while another screams all night.” “How do you put up with it?” “I just ignore them and play my bagpipes.”

I love kindness. Unless it's coming from a person at a four-way stop sign waving me to go when it's clearly their turn.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club.... . . . . but I’d never met herbivore.

Somebody just broke into my apartment and stole every lamp, flashlight, and lightbulb. . . . I’m so delighted.