I know it's totally late but this is what I sent to my daughter on Mother's Day. Her cat Storm weighs 20 lbs lol This cat actually looks like Storm. Side note, Chase calls her Timmy instead of Storm no idea where that came from.

The young woman who submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship with her husband) presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself. The tech support people's love advice was hilarious. The query: Dear Tech Support, "Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems but to no avail. What can I do? Signed: Desperate The response (that came weeks later out of the blue) Dear Desperate, First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the Tears application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta version. Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources. In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0. Good Luck Tech Support

I'M SMILING!!! Tomorrow is the 8th anniversary of the day of I bought my house. I have never had a garage door that really worked. Not only does it close, it now has a deadbolt on it and it's level?! Why did I wait? It's actually the door to what was a place to store the coal for the stove or fireplace that heated the house. I wonder how long it's been off kilter???? I'm so freaking happy! I'll paint it in 3 days when it stops raining and it's warm enough for the paint to dry.

Mine too. But his mantra is that he has such and such but….it’s at a property in the city, or the buiding update.. Always in a place where he isn’t.