Our older son wasn't too keen on going to university and I did two things. First I sat him down and worked out a budget based on what I thought was an hourly wage for just HS education and what that would pay for in life. That included rent on down to his contact solution. There wasn't money left over for a beer at the end of the month never mind skiing or running a car.

Then we went up to 5 years after HS with some raises. There was money left over for a beer but home ownership was forever out of reach and there was still no money for skiing. Reality set in after that conversation. He had to have a plan for acquiring skills to offer future employers.

What we suggested was go to our local community college and take the required first year courses that everyone needs - first year English, a first year Science, a first year Arts and one other. Just take 4 courses and then work part time.

He did two years and then took a gap year as he had no idea what he wanted to major in. Went back got his Associate Degree and then transferred to an institute of technology which is very structured, he thrived and got a two-year business diploma in Real Estate Development which he loves.

We wanted him to do first year right after HS so that he wouldn't be apprehensive about going at a later time. We thought it would help to get over whatever anxiety there might be.

Good luck to both of you in finding something that works.

Our younger son discovered the Bachelor of Tourism Management program at a local university when he was in Grade 10 and that was it for him. It was a combination of mark based (he had the marks) and portfolio based acceptance and that is what he spent the next two years working on.

ETA - @justterrilynn - The son of one of my running buddies was just accepted into the masters program at a university in Spain. Maybe it's the same one as your son.

Perhaps community college or a college that isn’t traditional. I have never used my original degree but I feel those years were so impactful. I have one child and four steps and I know you can’t put a square peg in a round hole.

I don’t have time to read all the responses, but I will later because we are in a very similar situation.

We have two daughters, 28 and 25. A son, 19. They all did well in school. The oldest tried the hardest and took everything very seriously. Always A’s. She just got her Master’s in early childhood education. There was a while she wanted to drop out. We really pushed her.

The younger daughter, drawn to the artistic direction, seemed to easily get all A’s. She has a degree in arts administration and was hired by the gallery she interned in. She was more sure of her direction.

Our son. More of a laid back attitude the whole time. A’s, B’s the occasional C. He was into sports in a serious way. He had a local job ever since he could get working papers. A very busy and all around wonderful person. IMHO

He went freshman year last year and first semester this last fall. Not attending this semester. He bombed this last semester. He’s not happy. Says he’s ok. We had a talk. It wasn’t too enlightening to us as to what’s going on. He says he just isn’t happy going.

He’s not sure what he wants to do. I know that feeling and it’s not pleasant. We stressed to him that we support him while he takes some time.

I wish I knew what to do or say to help.

I did university for one year because my parents insisted and then I dropped out, went to Boston and worked as an administrative assistant, hitchhiked across the country, picked apples in New Hampshire and heard about an art college in Canada. Worked as an au pair and then applied. I've had a wonderful career as an art teacher and artist. He will find his way! Taking a few random courses to figure out what that is, isn't a bad idea. But there's no point in wasting your money on college if you're not motivated. The one year of courses I took wasn't wasted because it ended up being an academic credit towards the bachelor of fine arts. I would encourage him to explore various options.

I know it’s hard to see a bright, outgoing kid not go to college. I wouldn’t push him either. We know at least one family’s kid who got their real estate license while still in high school. Yes, I think you have to be 18 to do so, but she did it. Comes from a long line of realtors in the family who own a business, and she did go on to college, but still.

Your son might change his mind two or three times in the next year. I know the desire is to have it all figured out by this fall. He may not until closer to graduation. I agree with setting the boundaries for a gap year, if that is what he has in mind, but would encourage him to have a goal and a plan.

Our oldest, now nearly 50, has ADHD, which wasn’t really acknowledged much in the time of his school years. He really can fix anything and figure out anything. Brilliant mind for engineering. He ended up taking EMT classes and became a paramedic while working another job. Then when his younger brother went to college, he decided to join him at school. He did pretty well, but decided not to finish. We were a bit disappointed but really cannot see him driving a desk and working inside as an engineer. He started in construction and hasn’t looked back. He and his wife remodeled their first small house and ended up with a $50,000 profit after living in it only 3 years. Second house, he redid their kitchen and relocated a set of stairs into their basement (who tackles that!) among other changes. He now has his own company and is in demand. He works long hours but has done very well, married to a great woman and has 2 smart kids.

Okay, which one of us works for NPR? Very timely article posted today on this very subject:

Re-thinking the college route

What mtn wrote summarizes very nicely our reasoning with our very bright oldest child:

”I would very strongly encourage everyone to get a college degree, especially if they are a good student and if they can do so without taking on debt. Why? It has become the new high school. It's not that they will necessarily teach you XYZ and you need XYZ to get job ABC. Just like you may never need geometry but you still want to pass it and get a HS diploma. I don't think of college as vocational training per se. But having a degree immediately telegraphs a certain level of maturity, discipline, broad knowledge and ability that is desirable not just in a career but socially, etc. And that has only become more true in the last few decades.”

What jojo wrote summarizes very nicely how it turned out: “I have four kids. One tried college and didn't like it. We really insisted he go. That was a mistake on our part.”

She now works at a Montessori school part time and is an artist “part time”. (And a mom as of last July!) None of these have anything to do with her degree, other than possibly getting the job in the school. Thankfully she doesn’t resent us for making her go to college, though she views her degree as expensive, time-consuming, and worthless.

So I think your son should keep an open mind about college, but if it’s really not for him and he has a plan for supporting himself if he doesn’t go, I think he needs to be allowed to make that decision for himself.

Blfenton, I wonder if it’s the same University, it’s near Barcelona. My son is studying for his MBA in International Business.

He sent me this a few weeks ago. Students are from around the world.

My son has done extensive work travel across the globe over the past three years through different work programs as well as teaching English.

The Workaway programs might be something to consider for those who want a gap year and want to see the world. Most are short term. My son was able to add to that with online English teaching on the side. He started in Japan. Once you are sponsored by a large reputable firm in teaching English it opens many other doors when you leave. While he waited to get sponsored he lived in a beautiful home in Japan and private tutored a child in English. That part was through Workaway. From there he has gone all over the world.

There are Workaway programs for all interests. It’s fairly easy to sort a descent program from those who are just looking for free labor. You get lodging and food.

https://www.workaway.info

OT - How exciting for him Jterri! too funny, we stayed in Tarragona a few years ago, after a business trip in Barcelona. All I remember was incredible fireworks on the harbor, great gazpacho and our lovely hotel

https://www.slh.com/hotels/terra-dominicata/?l

If you are in the US, look at the Small Business Development Centers (SBDC), funded by the Small Business Administration (SBA) and your state's legislature. They offer free, confidential business advising and many of them run no or low cost classes in entrepreneurial skills that culminate in a business plan. Perhaps going through such an exercise will help him to define if he's really interested in opening up a business, and what kind of skills/training/education he needs to be successful. You can look up the closest SBDC to you here:

https://americassbdc.org/small-business-consulting-and-training/find-your-sbdc/

We knew from grade 8 that university right after high school was a no-go for our older son. He would be lost in an English class with 200 other kids on a campus of 30,000 or more. But we have a well-respected community college that has 4-year degrees and all courses meet the transferable guides to our universities so that's where he went initially getting his associate degree and then moving on from there.

Back to jojoco's article - I did ask the school counsellor about how do the spots at university open up for those who are transferring from the colleges and it's from the 30% failure/drop-out rate of first-year students.

Back to taking a year out - I was the one who suggested to our DS1 that he take a year out which shocked and thrilled him. He was spinning wheels at school, doing well but after two years no declared major. Rules were - working full time with a suggestion of travelling (on his dime). Basically telling him to get out and explore. He wound up working full time and then going to a ski resort about 6 hours away from us and being a liftee for a ski season/ Best thing ever for him. Came back with a plan and understanding that making $12/hour was not going to make it in the real world.

You have to be honest with yourself about what your kids need and want, what are they capable of and what type of environment is best for them, not just academically but personality wise as well.

DD was a late bloomer so we put her through a local college with a business degree after a gap year. she never really used the degree but says that it helped her to know that she could handle the whole college thing.

She surprised us all buy a couple of years later decided to go in for accounting. We attempted to get her to go to university but she decided she wanted to go to the local community college again. She became an accountant and got her degree with distinction. She now works for one of the top four and is moving up in the ladder. We are so happy for her.

We never pushed her we just asked her to try different things. She really chose for herself.

You have to be honest with yourself about what your kids need and want, what are they capable of and what type of environment is best for them, not just academically but personality wise as well.

I agree. I would have them try to "keep one foot" in college though. Time can go so fast, which can work for you or against you. If he keeps taking classes, they add up. If he doesn't, and he wants to go later, it can be much harder.

EG I have a nephew who didn't want to go to college. He started as a bank teller, and now manages 3 branches and wants to keep moving his way up. But now he also has a baby and is very busy with his job. Taking courses is hard on top of all of that. He wishes he had been taking at least one all along.

Mtn, that hotel looks lovely! Thanks!

Our household is in thick of these issues right now. My oldest son is 21. He had no interest in further education. At first after high school the rule was half of any money earned had to go into savings. He already paid his car insurance and phone and play money. At 20, he knew rent would start. This was $100 the first year and it goes up another $100 each year. He did real estate clean out for a while with a neighbor. Those hours were not always consistent so he had to venture into the more demanding and world of consist hours. He got a job working at the air hub for UPS. It is part time right now but has superb benefits. If he decides he wants to go to school later, UPS will contribute a nice amount. If he becomes a driver, he can take care of a family and make a decent living. In some ways it forces me to evaluate my opinion of things. I wish he would do more, because he is certainly capable, but it is a perfectly acceptable line of work and if he is happy, so be it. His shift starts at 4:15 a.m. and he has only overslept once so I am proud of his work ethic. Personally, I would rather go to school than be at work in the elements long-term like that.

My daughter is a bit more complicated. She is 18 and has started at the community college. Her interests are psychology and art. I have to balance with her the necessity to do something one enjoys and is interested in with the fact that she absolutely has to have good health insurance. She is a diabetic and her meds are not cheap. She knows that if she stays in school she can live at home rent free. It probably helps in her case that she has worked at Domino's for 2 years now and realizes the limitations of such a job for both pay and self fulfillment. Not to mention the hours one works suck. She is considering social work but she is in the very early stages so that may change and change often.

It should be interesting to see what happens with kid #3. He is a sophomore in high school, on the autism spectrum, and quite gifted academically, especially with math. However, he informed us a couple of months ago that he didn't think he wanted to take any more math (he's finishing up Trig). He proclaimed that just because you are good at something doesn't mean that it makes you happy. Of course there is wisdom there but then he said he wants to pursue animation. We are hoping that he will consider a double major that is complimentary to his goals but will also make him employable. Kid #4 is in 7th grade right now, thank goodness, so we have some time to see what his future will bring. As parents, we of course want our kids to happy and fulfilled but we also want them to be able to afford food and shelter. Helping them to figure out how to accomplish both sides of that coin can be a real headache.

The fact is the USA does not NEED college graduates. We NEED tradesmen. My only argument for going at high school graduation is life. Life keeps happening and 18/19 is a very convenient time to get college done. Later things may get in the way i.e. bills/kids/RESPONSIBILITIES. Chances are he will go to school--and it will be much tougher financially on him then. It will be his price to pay. When my middle child wanted to just be a writer I said GREAT but what will you do to support yourself until that first book is sold? Adulting is a lot of work--and if that is how he wants to play out the next few years--let him. But that means LET HIM GO. July 1 he needs a place to live, a job to support himself. That's what adulting is. How ready is he to be that adult? We started early with "that's an adult decision if you make it be sure you are ready for FULL ADULTING." Meaning you pay for it and I am NEVER responsible for any adult other than ME so be sure you are ready for the full after math. You have a year and a half to get him ready. Does he have the skills to live on his own?

My concern for my son is that a college degree is no guarantee of anything anymore. Not having it however guarantees many doors will be shut from the start.

Financially, in our family, those of my generation with the degree did far better than those of us who don’t have it. I myself could not continue. Of the younger, the most successful financially is my nephew who had a few rough years before he learned carpentry, got into the union, and works for the city.

My son mentioned to me the other day that he had spoken to his older cousin.

We as a country may need home health aides, too, but do you necessarily want your child to be one?

Let's not glorify (or vilify) the trades. Yes, they can be very satisfying and lucrative. Especially when workers are young, the most physically demanding jobs will be more lucrative (entry level construction pays more than entry level accounting clerk). Many people enjoy the autonomy. But many tire of the physicality, and/or become injured. And in many trades, you need to become a manager and an entrepreneur to do well. Not everyone has those skills or wants to do that.

I agree that a degree, is not a guarantee, if it ever was. That is why people should think very carefully before spending money on exorbitant tuition, esp for degrees without a clear pay off and esp if they need to borrow. The most valuable thing the country could do would be to expand and invest in 2yr community colleges; IMHO those should be free.

Mtn, true about the trades being hard on the body. My BIL always loved working on engines, cars, motorcycles, etc. When he was in high school he put together a proposal for his father that he should go to mechanics school instead of high school, listing all the reasons for and against. His father agreed. He became an auto mechanic, was highly rated. In his 40s he started to feel it, and got his teaching certificate. Started teaching small engine repair and tech and now he teaches computer technology. Both careers have made him happy.

Very true Bpath. I know a few tradesmen who have done just that.

That makes a lot of sense.

Regarding trades, I know their value and importance, not only as small businesses, but to manufacturing plants, but to be a master electrician or plumber in my state, an individual needs an Associate's of Science degree, and the master plumbers, electricians, etc., make a lot more money and can become management at a manufacturing facility, so while it's important to support the trades and value a trade education, to be at the top of your trade does require at least 2 years of college/trade school. Also, requirements may vary by state/county, I'm only stating my own state's requirements.

The son of a friend of mine is a master electrician which is a 4-year program between working and school. I don't know if it's the same as other jurisdictions but you also have to find an employer in your chosen trade who will act as your sponsor for the 4 years.

He worked in a shipyard and fell on the job, long story short, he can no longer work in that job. Workers comp is paying to have him retrained as a high-school shop teacher which is a two year program.

Thing is, he will never make the same amt of money as a high-school shop teacher that he would as a commercial master electrician.

Thank you all for these very thoughtful responses, It is hard to watch your child grow up and do things differently than you had planned out in your head, You see so much potential in them to do big things, and they seem to be limiting themselves. You see them go in a different direction, and make things harder than they have to be, We are not a real tough love family, although we are big on self responsibility, so we will get him into adulthood. I know it's in his best interest that he move forward and become self sufficient. I have no doubt that he will do that in some manner the next few years.

We do not have a great school system in our area, and although he has had several great teachers, none have inspired him, or made him see that teachers and a classroom setting can be worth it. Last summer we sent him to a pre- college program that promised a great teaching experience. It was a doctorate student that barely spoke English and read from a book and some powerpoints. He loved meeting all the interesting people, but the boring class did nothing to make him think college classes would be better than high school.

He could change his mind a million times in the next year and a half, Right now we have agreed to let him pursue his idea this summer and have fixed his senior year schedule so he has time to pursue it then too. I am on the search for colleges that might change his mind. My goal is for him to get accepted somewhere that would be a good fit for him, and then take a gap year if he still wants to. I like the idea of a five year written plan. make him think concretely past the next couple years.

I also like the idea of getting him on a college campus with students for a few days. That experience might really show him how different it is than high school. We have done a couple college tours, but when you think you don't want to go, you don't really get much out of them.

We should be cautious not to glorify the trades without a hard look at the reality. My brother is a master plumber with over twenty-five years experience. He makes a good living. But now that he is in his fifties, he is really struggling with the physical demands of the job, and there are only so many management positions. The other major consideration is that until you are in management, you are always hourly. So unlike your salaried friends, making plans to go to the school play, to a dental appointment, etc. will probably always be an issue.

I agree with the trades. I don;t think his personality will take him that direction unless it was electrician, drafting, etc.

But we employ tradespeople in our business and I have seen all of that first hand. It is a physically demanding job that is very hard to do as you age.

Lego, I’m curious about your son’s friends. What direction are they going in?

In our town, there is a 100% rate for heading to college. That said , quite a few students in my oldest’s class did not graduate from where they started. (Including my daughter)

We are not a tough love family either. But, when it came time for making certain decisions we did step up. The first time around finances were not a factor, pick where you want to go! But when it came to choosing the second time she was only allowed to apply to an in state school. So even though there were three other costly schools that offered the same thing, it was not an option. Luckily she was accepted and everything worked out.

But.....for us, not going to college at all was not an option.

I think the hardest will be to not give him any money. Spending money should come from some kind of part time job while he works on the plan he presented to you.

(Someone has to go into the trades - all we have in our tool box is a screwdriver, don't ask me what kind, and a hammer) :)

Legomom, there is a great group on facebook called "Grown and Flown Parents" for parents of teens though young adults...heading off, in college etc. Lots of info, support there...some drama, not gonna lie..sorta like here sometimes LOL

eld6161, Most, if not all of his closer friends will go to college. I do think he'll feel differently when he sees them all moving forward. Most will go to our state school though. He has zero interest in that school and I don't think it's a great fit either. But that may change.

Legomom - That 's a great idea to get him on campus with students for a few days. When DD was looking at schools she stayed in the dorms with a friend from her high school who was a year older. They went to a few classes together, walked around the campus and town and that's where she ended up going. She was already interested in that college but I do think the visit helped her finalize her decision. Does your son know anyone that he could stay with?

When a teen comes from a home where education is valued/expected/encouraged and does fairly well in their own academic pursuits, often at the high school where I work I hear this. It is very likely "this too will pass". It is very likely the teen in question is getting a tish stressed and FREAKED thinking of the future, the unknown. It is a phase that is common. I agree getting him on a university campus can do much to help them visualize life after high school and the fun and success they can have. There are two years of "generals" that have to be concurred before a major is a MUST HAVE. Community colleges are a great place to get those. Also transfer to a fancy UNIVERSITY is easier as a junior than getting in as a freshman, so you saved two years of crazy costs AND get the high brow name on your diploma.

There is a national Honor society for two-year, Junior, and community colleges, called Phi Theta Kappa. If you are eligible, invited, and join, it can be worth a scholarship to a four-year college. Scholarships vary by school, but can be quite substantial. We saw ranges of $1500 to, and I'm not kidding, $25,000 per year, renewable.

Also transfer to a fancy UNIVERSITY is easier as a junior than getting in as a freshman

This is contrary to everything I've ever heard. The exception might be for a student who did poorly in HS, and does well in college, it could improve their candidacy. Not sure exactly what you mean by fancy but for highly competitive schools, transferring is even harder than regular admit.

$25,000 does not surprise me, they need so much for pvt schools. DS's school is 60k, DDs almost 75k. The price tags are crazy, so the scholarships have to be pretty serious.

In the mid-1990’s I was getting divorced and looking for a job, and every employer wanted a college degree and my work experience was secondary. I did not go to college and I thought it was important that my children did.

My daughter went through Vo-Tech in high school for Cosmetology – she wanted to be a hair stylist. I was always very supportive if this, but I also thought that she might not want to do this forever, but she wasn’t interested in going to college. In the spring of her junior year in high school I let her go for a weekend with a friend to visit her friend’s older sister in Boston, who was a freshman at Northeastern. My daughter found out that college was FUN! and after that, she wanted to go to college. She did well in school and graduated with a business degree, but also has wonderful friends and experiences from that time, including a semester in Italy. She worked through college cutting hair and is now in a very swanky salon on 5th Avenue in NYC. Of course she does not need a degree to do her job, but I feel that having one helps her confidence in dealing with her high-end clients, and also with her circle of friends who are all professionals. Even in the trades, a college education is worth having.

I also have to say that she graduated in the spring of 2008. College was so much more affordable back then – her school costs almost twice as much now.

I taught young adults at our local community college for a few years. I don’t have any idea what the dropout rate at community college Is compared to a four year university. But I do think if you have a student who is just fed up with school, community college can just feel like more of the same, particularly if the student is living at home with mom and dad. It’s still class attendance and homework -but it’s not offset by the fun of dorm life, the exuberance if independence, the newness of everything, etc.

Wow, it doubled in ~10 years. Its crazy.

I’m not sure if other states have this program, but if you are a ny resident and earn an AA/AS degree from a NY community college, you are guaranteed acceptance as a transfer student to a state college in New York.

I think it is a great plan. Hopefully other states do the same.

That is a really interesting point I'd not thought of, Bestyears.

I work at a community college, and we, and our sister institutions, are working hard to create an authentic college atmosphere for our just-out-of-HS students, but it’s a challenge because the entire mission of CC’s is to serve *anyone* looking to further their education, so we, by definition, cater to a wide variety of students; those traditional, just-out-of HS-students who want to live in a dorm (we have 600+- dorm students at our school) and just-out-of-HS students living at home, adult students who choose to attend, adult students whose employers send them, seniors who attend classes for free, veterans, including service disabled vets, and, for some CC’s, active duty personnel, if you are close to an installation, fully matriculated students, those taking a class as a lark and people seeking a second career or set of skills. That is a LOT of customers to satisfy, on pretty static funding. In addition, For 4 year college bound students, we are the stepping stone to that school and their eventual career, so we work below the radar, but we do work for all of our students, and at my school, we are actively trying to increase the activities for traditional, dorm-dwelling students, but it’s a balance, we can’t just fund those activities, we have to also have speakers, films, lectures, activities, outreach, etc., that appeals to our non-traditional students. Virtually all CC’s are seeing lower enrollment rates, the effect of lower birth rates and the pushing of students fo 4 year institutions, and we are in a bit of a crisis, which I hope we weather, because we need “higher ed” to take many forms to serve many constituents.

There are certainly first-year students who really struggle with the transition to college. Some of these are first-generation but not necessarily. I would encourage a gap year. I see too many who struggle and it is very expensive even though in-state. If they do poorly and are below a 3.0, they will lose their state scholarship which has too much financial ramifcation. We have implemented all kinds of programs for retention and academic success, and are hiring a Vice Provost of Student Success.

We have a great community/technical college system with easy transfer to 4-year universities. Many of our non-traditional students go this route, and they are often some of our best students. So, community or technical college can often be a great choice and place to start.

I have some nieces and nephews who were quite successful in college and have bachelor's and masters degrees, but some who struggled academically in HS. Two went into the military, and one stayed in and worked his way up as NCO to Lt. Commander in the Navy. The other one is working on their base as a civilian. One is a mechanic and loves cars. Another is a pastry chef and works for a gourmet chocolatier and has even developed his own confections. He loves it there and they love him. They all bought homes and are doing as well as anyone else.

"Pretty static funding" is generous. If we accept that HS may be inadequate in an increasingly complex world, where traditional entry level jobs (and more!) are automated away, and if we accept that we need to be lifelong learners for career reasons and civic reasons and even just for self-actualization, we need to make CC free and we need to make it the crown jewel of our public education system.

4yr gets all the love, but the reality is the most bang for our buck as a society is in funding CC.

::: stepping down from soapbox :::

My son works in a car parts manufacturing plant. One of his coworkers is an Ivy League graduate who decided that he wanted to “work with his hands.”

My daughter took a year off after her freshman year to work with City Year Boston (an America-Corp Program)in the Boston Public Schools. The year was very valuable for her.

I vote for letting him do what he wants. Too much push to decide on a 4 year college. Which is exorbitantly expensive and leaves kids with lots of debt.

Don’t step down, mtn, say it loud and proud. I, too, believe that CC should be free for everyone (and quite possibly mandated, but that’s another soapbox talk), tuition, room & board, books, fees, etc., it would be benefit our society in a myriad of ways, and would not be as expensive as, say, a new aircraft carrier or two.

Psst...shhhhh Lake, or we will be sent to that cauldron of venom that is Hot Topics.

an Ivy League graduate who decided that he wanted to “work with his hands.”

You should not and cannot force young adults. But two things about the anecdote. One, its an anecdote because it is so rare. Two, an Ivy grad can make those decisions, without it being a life long commitment. When/if he changes his mind, he will have options. A HS grad can decide to work with his hands, but if they change their mind, they will prob need training or education.

No one is saying that 100% of the country needs a 4yr degree or that one has 0% chance of happiness and "success" without one. But we do truly have far more wisdom and insight about these matters than our kids do, and it is our job to share it with them. It is their decision what to do with it. The way I always say it is "the more educated you are, the more choices you will have as your future unfolds." No more and no less.

While I have heard Arcy’s comment about going for two years and then transferring into a top ranked school seems like it could work, I don’t really agree.

What I have noticed is that there are many students who either drop out or leave school in the first semester.

If a student is committed to a school but did not get in, (wait listed) there is a good chance of getting in in the spring,

Some even start a few weeks into the semester the first semester. The truth is, the schools want to keep the numbers up. There are kids who leave after the first week for whatever the reason.

Just another angle.

i agree Mtn. I can’t think of anyone I know who thought going to college was a mistake. I have known a few who chose to go into debt for the experience of going to a high ranked school. Those students often realize it probably wasn’t the best choice as they struggle to pay back their loans.

I am from Canada, from the province of Quebec which is different than the rest of Canada in education.

We have a system here called cejep which is a two year plan that is free like high school. Our high school is one year less than the rest of Canada but then we have this 2 year Cejep. So when you finish this and go to university anywhere in Canada you almost always graduate a 4 year degree in three years.

My daughter got her double major, 1 minor in three years while a lot of her friends there from other provinces and some Americans had to take 4 years.

When she was a teen , I thought the whole Cejep system was not the way to go mainly because no one else did it and I never thought it out well, then I met a professor from McGill at a party I was attending and he mentioned to me that of all his students he saw how the Cejep students were so ahead in all ways .

Mostly because Cejep is a time that is free and you can still change directions easily like my daughter did. She went in thinking she wanted the sciences to become a physical therapist and then realized that was not what she wanted and switched to business without looking at any loss of money just having to go another 6 months. and they are run exactly like university, except you live at home but all else is the same.

I think this is similar to mtn idea of community college.

When my country grows up someday, I hope it is just like Canada. : )

All CCs are not created equal. From what I have read, Maryland and Virginia are stepping stones to a 4 year degree. 2 years at a CC with a certain GPA gives automatic acceptance to their state flagship. Buyer beware.

To the OP, you can't make an 18 year old go to school if he doesn't want to. BUT, you can give him a timeframe to find full time employment (which might be 2 jobs) and when rent will be expected. You can call it tough love or real world.

And going to college doesn’t mean that they will be studious. Especially if they are doing it because they are expected to do it when they don’t really want to be there.