Today is national backward day! I had the cab driver drive me here backwards, and the dude owed me $27.50! -- Mitch Hedberg

What do you call a pig playing tug-of-war? Pulled pork!

If that squirrel doesn't chew electric wires with extreme caution, katlan ... ... roast squirrel! If Ali Kolbert does check Google, Fun, he'll likely find what's in his mind, for Google, who watches everything we do and say, knows pretty well everything about us. ole joyful

A man was walking along a mountain road and saw another man lying with his ear to the ground. As he approached the other man, he heard him talking. "Chevy pickup truck. Large tires. Green. Man driving with large German Shepherd in passenger seat. Loaded with firewood. California license plate 1PDR34." The observer was astounded. "You mean you can discern all that from listening with your ear to the ground?" he asked. "Ear to ground nuthin' " the man replied. That truck just ran over me."