1. Feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash. 2. Use the statement "sun break" and know what it means. 3. Know more than 10 ways to order coffee. 4. Know more people who own boats than air conditioners. 5. Feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant. 6. Stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal. 7. Consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it's not a real mountain. 8. Can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best Coffee, and Veneto's (and you're never more than 2 blocks from one when in town.) 9. Know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon. 10. Know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, and Willamette. 11. Consider swimming an indoor sport, or is not a sport but a survival skill to prevent boating deaths. 12. Can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, and Thai food. 13. In winter, go to work in the dark and come home in the dark-while only working eight-hour days. 14. Never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho. 15. Are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain," and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers." 16. You can't wait for a day with "showers and sun breaks." 17. Have no concept of humidity without precipitation. 18. Know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind. 19. Can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you can't see through the cloud cover. 20. Say "the mountain is out" when it's a pretty day and you can actually see it. 21. Put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka. 22. Switch to your sandals when it gets above 60, but keep the socks on. 23. Have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain. 24. Think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists. 25. Knew immediately that the view out Frasier's window was fake. 26. Buy new sunglasses every year, because you can't find the old ones after such a long time. 27. Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway. 28. "Vacation" means going to Portland for the weekend. 29. You measure distance in hours. 30. Know at least eight people who work for companies that manufacture computer parts, airplanes, or athletic shoes. 31. Return from a California vacation depressed because "all the grass was dead." 32. Take a half day every July 1 to find your sunglasses and sunscreen. 33. Remember the date, severity, time of day, where you were, and how long you were out of power and phone service for every winter-weather event in the last five years. 34. Have ever called your insurance agent to ask if your homeowners policy covers falling trees, flooding, or mud slides or if the number of your favorite roofing company is on your phoneÂs "speed-dial" list. 35. Find a wallet with $500 in it, return it all to the owner and refuse a reward. 36. Used to live somewhere else. 37. Own more than 10 articles of clothing that have the names of microbrewries/brewpubs printed on them. Bonus for embroidery. 38. Wave at people who drive Ford Explorer sport utility vehicles like yours. Basically, you just drive down the road waving. 39. Think downtown is "scary" because you were panhandled there once. 40. You are sitting at a downtown red light. The light turns green and the car in front of you does not move. You do not honk. After two more light changes, you approach the driver to ask if they need any assistance. 41. You look in your closet to get dressed and you are stumped on whether to put on your fleece vest, fleece pants, or just go for the fleece jacket. Then youÂre stuck when you decide for the jacket and are confused on which of your six colors you should choose. 42. You use a down comforter in the summer. 43. Your grandparents drive 65 mph through 2 feet of water during a raging rainstorm without flinching. 44. You see people wearing camouflage at social events. 45. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. 46. You think of the major food groups as elk meat, deer, fish, and berries. 47. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them. 48. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at the BiMart store at any given time. 49. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat. 50. Driving is better in the winter because almost everybody stays home. 51. You know all the important seasons: Almost winter, Winter, Still raining, Road construction, Deer season, and Elk season.

Sushi has pretty much summarized the dangers ahead. There is no way to truly screen her calls other than you or your cousin being with her 24 hours a day. Allowing her the freedom of answering her phone, puts her at risk -- for physical, financial, and emotional harm. I'm also a "been there, done that." My mom used to think she was outsmarting telemarketers by telling them that she was a widow and in ill health, so she couldn't afford to buy their products. Some of the callers had her name and some address info. I'd tell her over and over again that she was saying too much and that the callers could come to the house. She'd promise to do better, but the next time I'd see her, she'd proudly relate how she told off a telemarketer. Eventually she moved to an assisted living facility and the situation was better. The address change in addition to the phone number change lessened the frequency of calls. When she moved into the memory care wing, her phone did not move with her. As far as doctors, etc., do what sushi recommends. Make yourself or your cousin the contact person. That's what I did with my mom even before she moved to assisted living. Perhaps you could "train" your mom to always defer to either you or your cousin when answering questions over the phone. For example, "I'm sorry. You need to talk to my daughter/niece about this. She takes care of everything for me." There's always the possibility of changing her phone number to a new and unlisted number.

Whammytap, in my own case I haven't had tv reception in years because I refuse to pay the exhorbitant fees that either cable or dish charge. In my case I don't miss it, but since others do -- I do note when I wanted to watch the very few sporting events I like (Olympics, NCAA basketball -- that's it for me) one cannot watch that type of TV on the Internet without a TV subscription of some sort. On the other paw though, I get plenty of news, even local, via the Internet (and the radio). I even still subscribe (but not for much longer due to house-building budget constraints) to a paper newspaper that I have delivered on weekends.

I agree, in part, with Lucille. He wants attention from you--if you were as close as you say when you were younger, he probably misses you, and he might have been counting on your help. And since he has no children or grandchildren, he might be worried about what will happen to him if his health suffers as your grandmother's is. Bringing up the will (or lack of) might be his way of trying to ascertain whether or not you'll be there to help him. It might be the carrot he is using to get you to commit to helping him in the future. He does sound somewhat controlling, and maybe he feels that no one else can adequately care for Grandma, while at the same time he resents the fact that no one will try. I'm sorry that you have disabilities, and I can tell by your first post that you have sympathy for him. Possibly you should write your uncle a frank letter, tell him what you've learned about other relatives receiving his money if he dies intestate, and ask if he'd like help choosing a worthy charity. If he predeceases his mother, she gets everything (at least in Ohio), and then the state could attach it to pay for her medical care in a nursing home--unless one of her other children stepped in to care for her at home, and in her mental condition, probably whoever got there first with a lawyer would be the one.