How do I even find a local architect? Just a search?

So sorry for your families loss. In addition to CPs advice I’d say talk to realtors and end up having one that you prefer keep an eye on the market for you. You never know when an existing home with potential to ‘tweak’ for your needs will be available.

Also good advice think design.

I would do a search here for architects in your area and do a google search. I'd also see what's being built and then if you like what you see, find out who the architect is.

You would have to check the zoning in the area you want to live. I lived in an area where outbuildings were not uncommon, and had either a converted barn (that was a stellar mother-in-law house, complete with a lovely art studio) or a cottage or coach house that were later used for the purpose you have in mind (But not as rentals). I’m not sure the current zoning would allow that, though, in one particular town.

Even if you opt for two lots, be sure that the houses can vary in size that much. Some areas want a little more consistency.

We built a multigenerational duplex and it has worked out beautifully. Follow the links for Our Story. Zoning is an important factor. Fortunately in our area duplex lots are popular and occupying prime real estate.

Look for property in areas where zoning allows for secondary dwelling units on a larger property. A casita, or granny flat, or MIL quarters sounds about what is needed for the secondary dwelling. And that’s what would have resale value. Or else, you need a MUCH larger single dwelling, with a MOL wing. Either is going to take larger sized property. This is where your architect can help you, as well as with the design.

Any location that has a minimum size requirement, and that’s most, wouldn’t allow a small house next to a big house. Or it would severely penalize the oversized house at resale because it would be virtually double the size of any other dwelling in the neighborhood.

Had you looked at larger homes on a lot big enough to allow for an additional building. The family across the street from us added something like the above mentioned casita and connected it to the main house with a glassed in breezeway. The casita (for her mother) had a lovely sitting room with views of the park below, a kitchenette, ADA compliant beautifully tiled bath and a bedroom with walk in closet. When finished, nothing about it spoke 'addition'. When they lost her, it became a transitional living space for their community college age son.

My area has a few neighborhoods where this type of property has been developed in the past. My previous home was built for the parents and the house next door was built for the oldest daughter and her family. They bought three lots and our house was built to the setback line on the north and left a large lawn between the two houses. The smaller house was also built to the north edge of its lot which left them a small private side yard and then the three lots were landscaped together sharing the large open area. The father died about 10 years after building but his widow and the daughter's family stayed for another 35 years or so. A couple houses away is a 4 bedroom older home which was sold with a separate 60x132 buildable lot.

Across the street is a large ranch home built in the late 50s for a family with 10 children. The current owners bought it and had the front of the bedroom wing converted to a bedroom, sitting area and ADA bath for an in-law suite. The far corner of that block has a two family home with central shared living area and a bedroom wing on each side. One side has the original single car garage, the added bedroom wing has a two car garage entered from the side street. A couple blocks away is another set of paired properties; one is an architect designed small postwar brick bungalow. The second parcel shares the same driveway and has a three(?) stall lower level garage with small rental property above. Another few blocks further is a new house built on an extra lot. The original owners bought several lots and when the heirs eventually sold, the new owner built his house and then resold the older house for almost as much as he had paid for the house and lots.

Previous generations have had similar needs so if you find older neighborhoods, you may be able to find suitable options. You have to research the neighborhoods and find the realtors who have been selling in the area for decades. Talk about your search with well connected people in the community and you may get some leads. The unusual properties often aren't openly on the market but they still may be for sale

Internet searches for "residential architect [my ZIP code]" and "residential architect [my metro area]" is how I found mine. :-)

My family is planning something similar to what you describe, for multigenerational living. We're currently looking for an appropriate parcel of land (in the county, not within city limits), after discussing with our architect what exactly we wanted to do. He gave an estimate of how much land we would need, and gave excellent advice on which areas to avoid (we have a lot of deep, black clay soil around here).

Our search for land is a patient one, unfortunately. ;-)

Is there a reason she has to live next door? Many newer neighborhoods where I live have two or three levels of house size/land ownership for larger, single-family homes, smaller garden homes and/or multi-unit condos.

My grandson recently purchased a home for his family; behind the 'main' house is a 900 sq ft garage apt which I where I live. 2BR/1 bath, one open living/dining/kitchen. All on .67 acre. Obviously, the garage is 'oversize'!

We ruled out a MIL or similar attached home because of her specific desire for a full kitchen. Apparently, in our area putting in a second stove line causes it to be considered 2 dwellings, which complicates the zoning. She’s independent, wants her own space as she’s moving close to us not because she needs the help, but because she’s lonely and wants family at hand, but not necessarily living with us.

We built a multigenerational duplex and it has worked out beautifully. Follow the links for Our Story. Zoning is an important factor. Fortunately in our area duplex lots are popular and occupying prime real estate.

Mojomom I was hoping you'd chime in. :) Mojo's house is beautiful.

Zoning. My area is mostly ag or rural residential but prohibits a second dwelling on one lot, regardless of size. Check and see what's permitted locally.

You’re going to have to start with the right zoned property that allows an ADU. And you need an architect. Architect first. They should be familiar with local zoning.

The only way that something like a big house next to a little house would be allowed is in an older neighborhood with larger lots that was allowing tear downs. You could purchase one of the original homes, have it subdivided, and build your large new home, with mom occupying the original home, to be torn down and replaced by a new larger home later. This would tske more logistics in planning by the architect, as you’d basically be planning a mini subdivision that needed access roads and plot planning. But it’s the only way that I can think of that would allow a close in to the city big house little house.

"Where to start? Two homes, side by side for extended family."

For some families it would be a psychiatrist. For all families it would be an architect.

I also don't understand the need for "next door". In our neighborhood, there are homes of several different sizes. A MIL could easily live a few houses down, or a street over--and have her 1200-1400 sq feet; while my family resides in a larger, family home. Why next door? Within a few blocks urban, or a half mile suburban is easily accessed? I would definitely not want to create a home situation that ended up not working for the physical/emotional needs of all involved; or, had very difficult resale potential. My widowed father lives 7 min. from me. We visit each other all the time. It also gives us each room to live our lives. If he wants to live closer, there are options. When he wants assisted living, we won't have to worry about selling an odd property to get him there.

I get that our desires are not the same as others' may be. But is there a specific reason for next door? that may help forum members shape their advice.

The desire for next door is primarily my MIL‘s wish. Down the street, same neighborhood would work too, but I think we want it close enough that she can walk to our home and our kids can walk to hers. There is also the resale issue, we do want to be able to sell her home if needed (need for additional help, her passing or any other reason) without selling ours. There will be inheritance tied up in both homes which is another reason for 2 vs. 1 with MIL, easier to sell the one normal home vs. a highly customized home.

The trac home builders in new developments usually have several different types of homes.

Tract

I found this interesting:

In my neck of the woods, it's very common for a family that owns a parcel to split off a portion for kids/other relatives to build another home. But this is farm country, so often this is because the land in question is still being worked.

Are you looking for an urban setting? Suburban? More rural? The answers might be different depending on where you're looking.

I would suggest you interview a couple of very experienced local realtors. Have them show you what can be adapted that is already available. You could renovate it to suit. They can also show you some alternatives that you might not have thought of yet. They will know what kind of new construction is available that might work. Should you decide to build, they can put you in contact with architects.

Using the realtor will help you find land that suits and design to your specifications. You never know, there may be a property out there that someone has built that already has two structures that could be adapted.

That's why I suggest the very experienced realtor. Find out what is available in the market first. You might be pleasantly surprised.

I grew up in a farmhouse with an attached 1-bedroom apartment (fully functional -- has its own kitchen, laundry, bathroom and separate entrance on the side of the house). The two spaces are separated by a breezeway and have separate utilities. That apartment has been used for a variety of purposes over the years, and -- when it's not in use -- the heat /air can be turned off. Very handy layout.

My brother and parents did this. There was a main house. My parents hired an architect who designed a stand alone housing structure that could be connected to the main house by a breezeway. Each house had a full kitchen and was entirely independent of the other.

My parents aged out in the new house. When they passed, my brother completely enclosed the breezeway. He has since sold the home(s).

The only caveat was the original home was located on agricultural land that had no zoning, thus no restrictions.

I'd start by finding out what the rules are where you want to live, and also what prices are likely to be. Where I live, there's a lot of redevelopment going on, single houses are being torn down, lots subdivided and two or three houses of differing sizes put up, so it would be possible here. The catch is, of course, that the redevelopment is happening because the area is desirable and builders are snapping up the original, single home lots because there's money to be made. Prices are therefore high. You need to get a feel for what's legally and financially possible where you are.

The other thing that's worth considering is whether the area you're considering is going to suit your mother's long term needs, which may include proximity to health and social services, shops, restaurants, etc.

Everybody Loves Raymond.