Wedding etiquette for uninvited.

womanofsteel twotones

So, my niece, who has had a tough life, is finally spreading her wings and getting married. She sent out Facebook invites and it appears she is not making a big deal out of the wedding. I am not on Facebook, nor did I receive a snail-mail invite. I am not particularly close to her, we live thousands of miles apart, but I admire her grit and determination from pulling through less than ideal circumstances.


As such, I would like to support her decision to go for a bit of happiness. Her (Facebook) invites states that in lieu of gifts, please donate to her or your own favorite charity.


Is there any protocol here? Should:


#1. Send a "congratulations on your engagement" card with a note about donating to a charity in her and fiances honor.

#2. Wait until after the wedding and send a card and note about a donation.

#3 Forget the whole thing as I wasn't invited.

SaveComment7Like
Comments (7)
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
sushipup1

#2. Life is too short to complain that you didn't get an invitation because you aren't on FB.

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
womanofsteel twotones

Don't get me wrong. Not complaining because I didn't get an invite because I am not on FB!!

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
sushipup1

If you want a lot more responses, try posting this in The Kitchen Table Forum.

https://www.gardenweb.com/discussions/kitchentable

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
kathyg_in_mi

2

Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
Michele

It sounds to me that even though you’re not a big part of each other’s day to day lives you are still happy for her. It sounds like she can’t swing the big traditional wedding which could be a factor in not being able to invite you.

I know you didn’t include it in there as an option but since she mentioned it in the fb post, maybe just send her a card with a nice message and a check. It sounds to me that this would be very appreciated.


1 Like Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
womanofsteel twotones

Michele, that's a lovely thought, thanks. I obviously don't know the particulars of her financial needs. I think I'll do both...send a check to her and a donation to an animal shelter in her name. Thanks!

2 Likes Save    
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo
Michele

You know Woman of Steel, I think you have a soft heart in there! ;-)

1 Like Save    
Browse Gardening and Landscaping Stories on Houzz See all Stories
Most Popular Modern Party Etiquette for Hosts and Guests
Learn the mannerly way to handle invitations, gifts and even mishaps for a party that's memorable for the right reasons
Full Story
Bedrooms Trending Now: 25 Bedrooms We’d Love to Fall Asleep In
Looking for a comfortable and calm space? Consider some of the most popular new bedroom photos on Houzz
Full Story
Kimberley Harrison Interiors is committed to designing sophisticated yet functional spaces that reflect the... Read More