Off topic but a problem after care is no longer needed

maifleur01

I have not been posting because my husband passed away in January after starting on his fourth year in a nursing home. Something that I have advised others to do when they mention that they no longer use credit cards nor have any debt is to be certain you use at least the cc so that you have current credit activity. I was turned down yesterday for a car loan by one company that the dealership uses because I have no current credit usage and a recently opened credit card with a credit score of over 800. My other cc I have had since 1973 and was urged to have one that gave points so I opened the second one. For those that have not been using your credit cards or paying directly for any repairs do not do what I did but have some type of credit history even if it means signing a payment agreement for repairs then immediately paying it off. The dealership would have provided loans from other sources but at a much higher interest rate. The dealer did not handle this properly so I just walked.

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graywings123

This is a good reminder to women. So I take it that all your credit history was in your husband's name?


Back when I was married, our AMEx card was in husband's name. I had a card with a separate number in my name, but because he was the principle person, they would not discuss anything with me on the phone. I would have been responsible if the bill didn't get paid, but they were not going to discuss the bill with me. Infuriating.


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maifleur01

Nope, I have credit history in my own name going back to before 1973 when I received my first MasterCard. I worked for a bank in the credit card division and I was questioned about how I received it. I had put a winter coat on a very small credit account with JC Pennys. Apparently that made me an excellent credit risk or so the manager told me. I did not marry until 1983.

The discussing over the phone was handled by me handing the phone to my husband and telling him to say yes. Later I had the conservatorship papers and they would talk to me. Only one refused to change the utilities to my name when he went down hill.

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Jakkom Katsu

Good post, maifleur, and I'm so sorry to hear about your DH's passing. I hope you're doing okay.

Yes, I'm always having to bite my tongue when I meet with women my age (60's) and they insist upon having their DHs drive them around and also stop using their credit cards. Arrrgggh.

When my MIL went into a senior living facility, the only reason for it having 30% men was that it's the favored facility for retired Catholic priests! When it comes seniors who have been married, women outnumber men at least 10:1 at every facility we've visited.

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maifleur01

Most of my friends are in their 70s and 80s and few of the husbands still have their license. Most are widows and many started being the sole driver in their late 60s.


One of the things that may be regional is that women will keep their husbands at home as long as they can. Younger members of families decide that Mom can not live on her own even if she is healthy and can live on her own. Most would never do that to their fathers.


I am doing fine I had handled everything financial since we were married so I had everything under control. I had already been advised that once a person with dementia stops eating it would only be a short while until they were deceased. Since I visited him at least every other day and actually talked to the aides who were the ones that told me that he had stopped eating I was prepared. None of the other medical staff doctor or nurses ever mentioned not eating, just not eating as much.


It was a long 19+ years from thinking his health problem was AFIB to being tested for dementia because he was starting to have problems driving. No diagnosis for his suddenly losing the use of his body other than a mild UTI which finally sent him to the nursing home in late 2015. His passing this January was a relief for all.

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