Smile Today - 5/25
Annie Deighnaugh
4 years ago
Featured Answer
Sort by:Oldest
Comments (16)
jim_1 (Zone 5B)
4 years agoLars
4 years agoRelated Discussions
Smile today - M 5/25
Comments (11)Why I Like Retirement!   Question:     How many days in a week?  Answer:     6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday   Question:     When is a retiree's bedtime?  Answer:     Two hours after falling asleep on the couch.   Question:     How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? Answer:         Only one, but it might take all day.     Question:     What's the biggest gripe of retirees?  Answer:     There is not enough time to get everything done.   Question:     Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?  Answer:     The term comes with a 10% discount.     Question:     Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?  Answer:     Tied shoes.   Question:     Why do retirees count pennies?  Answer:     They are the only ones who have the time....See MoreSmile today - 2/25/21
Comments (18)"An older lady gets pulled over for speeding"... Older Woman: Is there a problem, officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer: Don't have one? Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Older Woman: I can't do that. Officer: Why not? Older Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Older woman: Is there e a problem sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am? Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too. Don't Mess With Old Ladies...See MoreSmile today - 5/5/21
Comments (19)Hold a finger on the end of the tape on the roll when you cut off a chunk, ded, even if you're the more than "tired" that's called "retired", then stick on it one of those doohickeys that hold a bread bag shut to keep it available the next time your need arises. Up here we have three bags holding about a gallon of milk inside another bag that use similar, slightly more sturdy, closures. ole "stuck-up" joyful ... who, being on a roll, has yet to find out where his end is/when his end is coming - hopefully not via covid ... ... had some vaccination insulation installed a couple of weeks ago (with no after effects apparent)...See MoreSmile today - 5/25/21
Comments (18)graywings123, it took me a minute to see yours correctly -- my brain kept wondering, what do those two eyes belong to? lol. This comic strip relates to my gardening style:...See MoreElizabeth
4 years agoUptown Gal
4 years agosusanwv
4 years agoOlychick
4 years agoravencajun Zone 8b TX
4 years agoAngela Id
4 years agojustlinda
4 years agomarilyn_c
4 years agowhistle_gw
4 years agoAngela Id
4 years agoRusty
4 years agojoyfulguy
4 years agolast modified: 4 years agoJasdip
4 years ago
Related Stories
MOST POPULAR5 Remodels That Make Good Resale Value Sense — and 5 That Don’t
Find out which projects offer the best return on your investment dollars
Full StoryBATHROOM WORKBOOK5 Ways With a 5-by-8-Foot Bathroom
Look to these bathroom makeovers to learn about budgets, special features, splurges, bargains and more
Full StoryDECORATING GUIDES5 Decor Trends to Try — and 5 to Rethink
Some style trends are worth jumping onboard. Others you may want to let fade from your memory
Full StoryDECORATING GUIDES5 Things to Splurge On — and 5 Ways to Save
Maximize style and your budget by focusing your decisions on areas that deliver the biggest impact
Full StoryARCHITECTURE5 Midcentury Design Lessons for Modern-Day Living
The era’s simple and economical materials and open, energy-smart floor plans still have relevance today. See why
Full StoryBATHROOM DESIGN5 Common Bathroom Design Mistakes to Avoid
Get your bath right for the long haul by dodging these blunders in toilet placement, shower type and more
Full StoryDECORATING GUIDES25 Design Trends Coming to Homes Near You in 2016
From black stainless steel appliances to outdoor fabrics used indoors, these design ideas will be gaining steam in the new year
Full StoryBATHROOM MAKEOVERSReader Bathroom: $25,000 to Redo Multiple Baths in Switzerland
An American couple had master and guest bathrooms that functioned poorly. Now they have spaces that work beautifully
Full StoryLANDSCAPE DESIGNBefore and After: 5 Patios That Celebrate Outdoor Living
See how landscape designers transform yards of all sizes and styles into stylish, hardworking patios
Full Story
Jasdip