How much do you tip in a restaurant?

Kathsgrdn

After reading the other restaurant post I wondered how much people usually tip, provided the service was good? I always give at least 20%. After my son and then daughter started serving sometimes I have increased this. If I went out to eat with them, they always added money to my tip after checking out what I had left...that is if I was paying for everyone's meals. Servers here make between $1 and 2.00 an hour usually. Then they have to tip out the bartenders, food runners, and sometimes kitchen staff. I'm appalled by some of the stories they have told me over the years. People coming in, huge table of people, ordering $100 to $200 and tipping only a couple bucks, etc.... A lot of people apparently tip quite a bit less than what I thought was normal: 20%. Others tip way too much and sorta make up for the other people. I'm kinda in between. Even is the service is slow or not great, I still leave a tip. Sometimes it's not the servers fault the food is slow in coming. They could be understaffed in the kitchen or on the floor. I do get annoyed sometimes when I see the servers standing around chit chatting and ignoring drink refills etc... but that doesn't happen a lot. I was a waitress years ago and was a horrible one due to my shyness. I left after less than a month because I knew I was horrible.

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Janie

20% is the barest minimum I tip. Usually it works out to be more - sometimes just to 'round it up' and sometimes considerably more for whatever personal reason I/we have for that occasion.

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maire_cate

Usually 25% and sometimes more - that extra 5% doesn't add up to that much to me and I hope it makes a small difference to the wait staff.

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roy4me

I tip well...my daughter has been a server/bartender for years and I know good tips are appreciated.

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amylou321

Way too much. I very very rarely sit in a restaurant and eat. I regularly get to go from a handful of places though. And I do overtip. SO does too. Both of us work very hard and always have and appreciate that others have to do the same.

There is a tiny, family owned restaurant up in the sticks where I live. The food is great and the young girls that work there are so sweet and friendly. I almost always give a 10 dollar dip for our takeout order. I dont think i have ever sat down and eaten there.

A small Mexican restaurant that i sometimes swing by on my way to work for takeout has 2 hostesses that know me very well, just from my tips I believe. I usually leave a 5 or 10 dollar tip for them as well for my take out order.

In both cases, its easily a 50% tip or higher, depending on if I am getting food for me and SO or just me.

If we do sit down and eat somewhere, it's around 50% as well. We don't typically eat out at all and if we do, it's not going to be some 100 dollar meal. In our 10 years together,I think we've been in a sit down restaurant together MAYBE 4 times. Maybe. We always feel bad for the person that has to "fetch" our food and drinks for peanuts. The last time was at a casino restaurant. The bill was around 30 dollars. We gave her a 50 and told her we didnt need change. She looked like she was having a miserable day before that, even though she was friendly enough to our face. I think small gestures like that can really brighten someone's day.

It's not just food service though. I overtip the girl who does my hair, the man who fixed the AC, anybody. Man, when we went on our cruise last year we must have spent 1000 dollars or more just on tips for our taxi drivers, the men with the little bike taxis that take you to and from the ship, our cabin steward, the housekeeping staff, the bar waiters......just everyone. What amounts to a fairly small amount in the grand scheme of things can have such a big impact on someone, even if just for that day.

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Fun2BHere

25% if service is good, 10% if service is crappy, over 25% if we take up a table through more than one turn.

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OutsidePlaying

We are serious over-tippers generally. The service has to be really, really bad for us to tip less than 20-25% and then it’s hard for us to even do that unless we are certain it’s the server’s fault.

Pretty much exactly as Kath wrote, all our kids worked serving or bar tending in college, so we got an ear full about poor tippers doing the exact same thing. So we are very conscious of our tips.

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bpath Oh Sophie

Wow, now I feel bad. I tip 18-25%.

My friend's son recently served a table of 10. One member of the party complained about her dish, and the manager comped not only her meal, but EVERYONE's. Guess what? The server got 25% of nothing. The dish was not his doing, and he'd served the entire table for a couple of hours.

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nickel_kg

I calculate 10% in my head (easy, by moving the decimal), double it, then round up to an even dollar amount. Sometimes I'll add in more. I tip based on full price of the meal(s) ordered, even if we got a discount. I can't remember the last time I got service bad enough to tip less than 20%.

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wanda_va

I usually tip 15% for buffets, and 20-25% for service. If the service is very good, I sometimes go even higher.

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morz8

Minimum wage for waitresses in this state is $12/hr. I will usually tip approx 20%. If I've taken my elderly mother and we've lingered, or she's needed her special accommodations, like no ice in her water, her soup more broth than solids, or her walker has been in someone's way....I'll tip more.

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Lars

We seldom go out to restaurants because I like to cook and have the time to do it. When we do go out, my brother pays for the meal, and I believe he tips 20%, but I generally do not see the bill.

At a lot of restaurants here, if there are six or more people at the table, then 18% tip is automatically added on. In Europe, we were informed that the tip was included in the price of the meal and the waiters were paid decent wages. I prefer that method because I know in the U.S. some people under tip - my father was the worst. I believe that tips were added to the bill in Costa Rica and several other countries that I have visited. I think the U.S. is rather backward with regards to underpaying the wait staff. I tip a larger percentage at inexpensive restaurants, as I try to consider how much work the waiter is doing - not how much the food costs. IMO waiters should be paid for their work, which should have little to do with the cost of the food. Of course the food will be more expensive if this is done, but it seems fairer to me that way. In some Japanese restaurants here, there are signs that say no tipping is allowed, as they pay the waiters well, and I prefer restaurants like that.

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Elmer J Fudd

I believe a customary tip in a restaurant is in the 15-20% range. For me, it's at or maybe a slight amount above the top of the range for good service in a cheap restaurant (like breakfast averaging $15 per person) or a very good restaurant with very good service, or closer to 15% otherwise. Or, at the top at a favorite restaurant or two where we get a favorite table and excellent treatment.

Some of you are simply paying too much. If it's out of compassion or guilt for the server, that's your choice. But it's not necessary OR, more importantly, customary. You don't buy friends this way.

Imagine when calling a plumber and the tab is $200 to clear a drain and you say - "You know, you did a good job, please put the charge through for $250". Or you negotiate to buy a car and you say - "Please add $300 to my purchase price and give it to the sales person". No, two silly examples. Same thing for over tipping, silly and unnecessary.

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gardengal48 (PNW Z8/9)

"Servers here make between $1 and 2.00 an hour usually. "

Is that even possible?? Are they not required to be paid minimum wage?

Regardless, I tip at 20-25% provided the service is up to snuff, generally at the higher end for a small meal tab. But the service needs to be.good. And that means I do not have wait endlessly for them to take my order, that they come back to check if everything is OK after delivering my order and I don't have to ask for my coffee or beverage to be refilled.

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Angela Id

Minimum wage for tipped employees in Idaho is $3.35 an hour. When I waited on tables, it was $2.01!

We tip 20%, rounded up.

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mdln

minimum $5, usually 20%, sometimes up to 50% for good service (e.g., $13 salad, left $20)

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amylou321

We have "tipped" plumbers, salespeople, and other people before. Not always in cash. For example, SO has multiple vehicles, including his many cars,boat and his 18 wheeler that when the time comes to renew the tags every year, he goes to the renewal office, pays for his tags, and then buys the ladies that work there lunch. They appreciate it.

On one of the islands during our cruise, SO bought the taxi driver an outfit and lunch, on top of his fee and a 50 dollar tip. On another, we filled up the drivers van with gas, bought him 2 bottled waters and lunch plus his fee and tip.

When the AC man came last summer to fix it, i was making candles and he commented on how good they smelled and how his wife loves candles and would love the particular ones I was making. After I paid him the fee, I gave him 2 candles of that scent that I had made the day before. It cost me all of 10 bucks in materials. His wife called me that night and left a lovely voicemail thanking me.

SO just spent a truly vulgar amount of money on a new zero turn mower. More than it's worth I think. Even though the salesperson likely made a nice commission off of it, SO still gave him a little something. He told him to buy everyone lunch that day.

Giving a little extra to someone is hardly trying to buy friends. We dont want to socialize with any of the people we encounter in such situations. A little extra something can go such a long way in brightening someones day. The customary practice is fine,nothing wrong with it. There is also nothing wrong or "silly" about a little extra kindness for a hard worker,as we are both hard workers.

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Bookwoman

Federal law stipulates that employers can pay tipped workers as little as $2.13 an hour (an amount unchanged since 1991), so long as their tips bring them up to at least the federal minimum wage of $7.25.

https://www.eater.com/2018/9/25/17886990/how-restaurants-steal-from-workers-wage-theft

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Kathsgrdn

Yes, Gardengal, it's possible. I think it's wrong but they do it. I just asked my daughter how much an hour she was making at World of Beer serving. Waiting for her reply. She's at Cheesecake Factory now.

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yeonassky

20% unless exceptional then we add more. Also we go to a couple of places very regularly and we always give the tip plus an extra few dollars at Christmas time. We also give more if we have a huge party or if we are slow to finish.

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adellabedella_usa

I usually tip 20%. If someone is kind of lackluster in their job, I go lower like 10-15%. I've only not tipped a couple of times. I don't deal with bad service then. That gets an email to the employer.


I was a waitress for nine months 30+ years ago. The constant whining about tipping annoys me. I worked hard, but I didn't think I was 'owed' a tip. I worked hard and did my job. Tipping worked out. There were only a few times, I didn't make up to minimum wage with tips. That usually involved the church crowd. I usually made over minimum wage with tips. I made more as a waitress than I would have at a non-tipping job.

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watchmelol

California pays full minimum wage to tipped servers here. Lately it has gone up. Currently at 12.00 but several cities have enacted higher minimums. Up until last year, servers, by law, were not allowed to tip out the back of the house. Only the busboys the and bartenders. The line cooks (not chefs) in an average restaurant have always made a bit more than the servers to make up for this but the gap is narrowing due to the higher minimum wage. So the back of the house is essentially screwed. As is the restaurant owner who can't afford to make yup the difference. That's why most of the mom and pops here are closing, cutting hours or days they are open and hiring part time over full time. Ethnic places that employ family are the majority of the mom and pop places. Pretty soon the only survivors will be the high end fine dining places and the corporate chains who can absorb the costs.

So if I get minimum service I will leave the minimum 15%. If satisfactory service I leave around 18%. Good or great service gets more. Often a lot more. If I know the servers are tipping out then I add a bit more.

A lot of people don't understand that this state is different. A good server used to make more in tips than in wages. A lot more. But now the wages are higher and service goes down in some places. Not enough workers on the floor to give good service and the younger workers don't understand how to hustle for tips because hey, they get 15 bucks an hour anyway. So I really believe that it's time to do away with tipping in some circumstances. The 15 dollar an hour person who delivered and unloaded the restaurant's supplies should not be expected to tip the 15 dollar an hour server who merely takes their order and slaps some bacon and eggs before them with the check and never comes back.

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arkansas girl

I resent having to pay the employees wage at a restaurant! I just do not think that it's right for them to pay a couple bucks an hour and expect us, the customer, to pay for their employees wages! As I understand it, this doesn't happen in other countries. I never give more than 15%! That's ridiculous! The food is already ridiculously expensive as it is! I only tip a few dollar at a self serve restaurant/buffet. What does the employee even do? They bring us a glass of water and clear our empty plates. They may spend a total of five minutes at our table...if that. I think that tipping in our country has gotten out of hand. I suppose if you have a bucket of money...all the more power to ya, but I am not rolling in the dough...UNFORTUNATELY!

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murraysmom Zone 6a OH

I eat out by myself fairly often. I usually engage the server for a little chat and enjoy the experience. I tip 20% (rounded up) with a $3 minimum. We have quite a few places where tipping 20% wouldn't come to $3, hence my minimum amount. Around the holidays, my minimum is usually $5.

It does bug me when the servers have to share with the other workers. Not that I think they don't deserve it, but they should be paid enough not to need the tips. Heck, the wait staff should be paid enough not to rely so heavily on tips.

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colleenoz

bpath Oh Sophie, could you not have just given the server a cash tip, or asked that a tip-only charge be put through on a credit card?

In Australia, all workers are paid award wages which for wait staff is a little over $20/hour minimum. There is no need for tipping, though some people will leave a modest tip if they felt the service was particularly awesome. Similarly, all taxes must be included in the quoted price for any items. So the price you see on the menu or the price sticker is what you will pay. No surprises, no extras.

I really don't understand why wait staff are not paid properly, as, for instance office staff and retail workers are. It's just incomprehensible to me that wait staff should be singled out to be paid by the customer instead of by the employer.

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Zalco/bring back Sophie!

Never less than 20, usually 25.

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nickel_kg

There was one restaurant in my old town that paid its workers and wait staff a decent wage and requested "No Tipping, Please". Price per item was a bit higher than similar restaurants by maybe 10%. Service was excellent. You know how when you need a refill or something, you have to look for "your" waiter? None of that, any server in the area was also attentive to you, no competition between staff.

I miss that place!

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graywings123

Interesting turn of events in Washington, DC in 2018. Local citizens voted to pay restaurant servers the minimum wage, but I believe the city council overruled that, claiming workers in high-end restaurants would do better financially if they didn't get guaranteed minimum wage.


Standard minimum wage in the District was $12.50 an hour. But restaurants, bars and other businesses could count customer tips toward that total and have to pay workers only $3.33 an hour out of their own pockets.


It was called Initiative 77. I don't know where it stands now.


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gardengal48 (PNW Z8/9)

I guess this does vary from state to state.....who knew!! Like CA, WA state does not allow a tip credit and and any wait staff is paid the state minimum wage of $12.00 per hour. Any tips would be in addition.

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bpath Oh Sophie

Colleen, the stiffing was my friend's son's experience, I wasn't there. But yes, they could and should have asked for a service-only check.

I would love to see servers paid better, or with service either included in the price of the items or a service charge added. And none of those preclude diners from tipping additionally, but that becomes a slippery slope.

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sleeperblues

I'm a professional now but as a teen and in college I waitressed. I tip way more than I should. At least 25%. I know the feeling of giving the best service you could only to be stiffed.

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marylmi

I must be cheap as I tip either $2 or $3 depending on the price of the meal and of course the service. If they don't come back to fill my coffee cup until I'm done with the meal they may not get anything. If they are really busy, that's different. I'm talking like a fish dinner for $15 , or a $20 meal, not a high price meal.

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chisue

DH and I tip 20% rounded up. We add more if there's more work involved -- if we split a course, or young grandkids left a field of crumbs, whatever. We leave $2 pp even it the order is just two ice teas. We tip extra if we see other tables turning over in a busy place, while we are taking much longer. (I can't 'hoover' food the way I see some people *consume*.)

amylou -- There's 'rewarding good service' (in the 'service industry', not trades) and there's the appearance of playing "Lords of the Manor" to "these poor working stiffs". I see a huge difference between vastly over-tipping -- and tipping non-service providers -- and your nice gesture with the candles.

There are plenty of worthy charities for your volunteer efforts... and excess funds!

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daisychain01

Our minimum wage is pretty good here (somewhere between $12 and $14 - it's just in the process of being increased so I'm not sure). I have been doing 15%, as standard and 20% if service is above and beyond. I'm gobsmacked that servers are paid in the $2-3 range.

Lots in the news right now with increasing min. wage. Restaurant owners are trying to monkey with the tip outs (having them go to high salaried managers in addition to wage staff). I know the restaurant biz can be tough for many owners, but through my work, I come into contact with the elite in our city. Many of them are restaurant owners and even though they live in multi-million $ mansions, own several luxury cars, go on extravagant vacations several times a year, I've heard most of them complain about the rising minimum wage. It's hard to be sympathetic.

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sjerin

I can't fathom making $1-2 an hour! Yes, I know tips are supposed to bring that up to minimum wage, but I still find that amount appalling.

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Martha Scott

I agree with Elmer! I tip 15% because that is what is expected. IF there is some exceptional service (rarely seen), I would tip more and one local place I go to the waitress is a dear and I'm sure making the $2 (or whatever our minimum restaurant wage is) and for my $5 soup I usually leave a $10 and don't expect any change.

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Chi

Probably 25% on average. I usually take 10% of the total after tax and double it for more expensive restaurants. The cheaper, regular places we go get a bit more. For bad service, we still leave 15%.

My favorite thai place has a lunch special for $10 and I tip $3 or $4. Not much money-wise but high percentage wise. It wouldn't feel right leaving less as they work so hard.

I also tip a dollar or two for drinks or take out.

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pudgeder

15 to 20% depending on service.

We do NOT tip the plumber, HVAC, repair or delivery people.

Hubs is HVAC and says that it's not normal for HVAC workers to be tipped. (at least in our area)

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Zalco/bring back Sophie!

Tipping less than 15 percent is unacceptable. If you cannot afford to dine out, stay home. If your service was poor, perhaps 10 percent and a complaint, but otherwise in this country, you are being wildly unfair to the server. It's not just being cheap. It's wrong.

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Debby

Our servers get paid decent ($15 an hour is min wage here). So if they have six tables and each table in an hour leaves even $2 in tips, that server will make $27 an hour. Most people leave a lot more than that $2. I'll leave that there.


I leave 10-15% depending on the service. I don't think I should have to tip period. I don't tip the cashier when I buy groceries, or the clerk who went out of his or her way to find something for me. Why? BECAUSE IT'S THEIR JOB, AND THEIR EMPLOYERS JOB TO PAY THEM FOR. I hate that I can't get my hair cut without worrying what tip I should leave. I can't take a cab because I know the cab driver EXPECTS a tip. I can't eat in a restaurant because often the tip is added to the bill, which should be illegal. I am guilted into giving my hard earned cash to someone who already makes a lot more than I do with tips.

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Lindsey_CA

Hubs and I went out to dinner last night. We brought a bottle of wine with us, because we wanted that wine with our dinner and we knew that the restaurant doesn't have that wine on their wine list. The restaurant has a corkage fee of $10. We had dinner & dessert and coffee with dessert. We both had some food (and dessert) left over, so it was packaged for us by our waitress. Hubs had commented to our server early in the evening that he really likes the sauce that was served with his meal, and when the packaged leftovers were brought to us, our waitress had included two to-go "bowls" of that sauce! She was very friendly and funny the entire time we were there, and we would love to have her as our server again. Total for our food and corkage fee was a few cents under $75. She got a $50 tip.

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ldstarr

Our tips vary widely, totally dependent on the quality of the service provided. If the service is "average", we leave between 20-25%. When the service is abysmal, and we're certain it is the wait staff's fault (not the kitchen) we'll sometimes cut it to as little as 5%. In the establishments that we frequent often, we are remembered as good tippers, and will leave 35% and up for service that is good to exceptional.

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joann_fl

You should tip 15%. if the server doesn't make at least 8% overall they still have to claim it.

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amylou321

Chisue, couple things:


Re: your "lord of the manor/poor working stiff" comment. Me and SO are both "working stiffs." He drives a truck 6 days a week, and I work 12 hour night shifts at an oil refinery. Being nice to someone with a little something is not in any way condescending or pretentious. It's very weird that you see it that way.

We are by no means wealthy. But we appreciate what small gestures and the small cost of someones meal can do to brighten ones day. I have been on the receiving end of such. I make and sell those candles and wax cubes for extra money. Sometimes,someone will buy one pack of cubes,which I sell for $3.50. They may give me a 5 and tell me to keep the change. Just last night, i sold a candle. It costs 15 dollars. The man have me a 20 and told me to keep the extra 5, since the "hubby points" he would be getting for bringing home an unexpected gift for his wife was worth 5 more bucks. These gestures are in no way going to help me retire early, but they brightened my mood. I did not feel like they felt sorry for me or were lording over me or throwing me a bone. I appreciated it for what it was, someone giving a little extra to be nice.

Lastly, it is obnoxious to tell someone what to do with their time and funds, extra or not,especially when one does not ask for suggestions. I'll tip who and how and why I want. You do the same. MKAY????

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HU-471105517

The minimum wage here in Ontario was increased to $14 & was supposed to go to $15 this year but a change in govt the 2nd increase was killed off. Employers in restaurants controlled their costs by killing benefits or restricting servers to 20 hr a week so that they didnt have to pay benefits. Most servers work 2 or even 3 jobs and don't declare tips to avoid paying taxes. The province collects 13.5% tax on restaurant meals. A lot of people just reduced their tipping to compensate altho 10% was always pretty much standard. My ex's GFs used to brag about getting hundreds in tips working in bars. With portion control & automation a bartender doesn't work as hard as they did 30 yr ago. But also they can't scam free drinks or add extras to a tab like they cud back then.

I eat one meal a day in my neighbourhood resto. I tip 10% on the total that includes tax, even tho the service is pretty inconsistent. Some days I get 2 strips of bacon, others I get 5. Depends who the cook is. There are 2 that I avoid when I can. It's a franchise and despite the law the manager gets some of the tips. She has 5 locations and rotates among them. One of her relatives runs my location and he gets tips too because he does some waitress jobs. He's a poor waitress but gets waitress share plus a supervisor share and a Busby tipout when they are not busy. Recently they increased prices by 30% and business has really fallen off at lunchtime when I'm in there.

For years they had a fantastic friendly waitress, I always gave her 20-25% & she quit over their unfair distribution of tips and having to work an extra hour a day unpaid to cover startup and closing.

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Kathsgrdn

She's working a double shift today so she finally got back to me about what she made at WOB: Serving: $2.13 Bartending: $4.13 and Managing: $12 The last few months she worked she did a lot of managing shifts and her income suffered because of it.

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HU-471105517

Since my wife's knee surgery I have been using a wash dry fold service. That's about $30 per week. Occasionally I tip both attendants $10 each as I can't remember my phone number which is used as my account number. So they have to put in extra effort to find my account. And my order is always done exactly as I requested. So I feel all of this is worth recognizing. I don't tip when I get my car detailed for $300+ & I don't tip in home depot when I get plywood custom cutter to fit into my trunk. And I don't tip the garbage truck, meter readers, or the lady who collects my property taxes.

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Elmer J Fudd

" Total for our food and corkage fee was a few cents under $75. She got a $50 tip."

I know and have known many people with major big bucks. Even among the more normal ones, few with successful professional occupations in Silicon Valley need to budget carefully to be able to afford their monthly bills. Having said that, I've never seen anyone give such a disproportionate (percentage-wise) tip. Never. People are free to do as they wish but I find this gaudy and incredibly pretentious .

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amylou321

I wonder if the server that received such generosity shares your opinion on that. I wonder if she was offended at being condescended to in such a way.............

My bet is on no.

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Lucille

Common sense. Tip the 'right' amount. When a restaurant has a special and the meal costs almost nothing, your wait staff had to do just as much work. Tip accordingly. Also, treat your wait people like human beings. I was a waitress years ago, I think I was 14, for half a day. One of the guys I served thought his 10 cent tip entitled him to pat me on the bottom. Not.

My tips range from 10% (snuck to a Home Depot employee as we hid behind my vehicle because tips are not allowed) to 80% (I took my grand daughter for her first wash and style which are not very expensive services but the stylist loved her and spent over an hour just on her, made her feel comfortable and treated her like a little princess with the mirrors and whatnot so she could see everything that was happening).

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sprtphntc7a

we are 99% of the time at 20%.... if the service was great, a little more. not so great, little less -15%

places we frequent often, always 20%

if we are just stopping for a couple of drinks at the bar and moving on to another place...15%. we do this often in the city -going to to 2 or more places, especially now with all the beer gardens open. just pop in for a drink or two, enjoy the view and move on :)

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Elmer J Fudd

"I wonder if the server that received such generosity shares your opinion
on that. I wonder if she was offended at being condescended to in such a
way............."

If you pick food out of a garbage can and drive a few blocks to give it to a homeless person, is their gratitude a reasonable measure of what was done? No. Someone working in a job is looking for pay, not charity or a customer's ego-driven action.


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Lindsey_CA

Why, Elmer, I'm surprised that it took you so long to diss my post. Not all all surprised that you had something negative to say, however -- just that it took you over 24 hours to do so.

This was on a Friday night at a very popular restaurant that was very busy. Friday was our 38th anniversary. We had not told anyone at the restaurant that it was a special occasion. For all anyone knew, it was just a regular night out. Our server made the entire evening extremely enjoyable. She was very attentive even though she was being run ragged; and as I said, above, she was friendly and funny. We had a *great* time.

We dine at this restaurant fairly regularly, and we normally end up with a much higher bill. Friday, however, we didn't order any appetizers or salads, and we each ordered something other than our usual choices, and what we ordered was less expensive than what we usually order (and, no, we don't usually get the same thing - there are two or three things that I normally "rotate between," and there are two or three things that Hubs normally "rotates between"). If we had ordered "our usual" including appetizers and salads, our bill, as I said, would have been at least twice as much and the $50 tip, while still a bit high for our normal total, wouldn't have been so out of line that you would have crawled out of the woodwork to diss it. Wait, you probably would have because it was *me* that you're dissing.

And, as I'm sure you know, I don't give a rat's patootie what you think of the amount of our tip.

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Lindsey_CA

So you think our tip was "ego-driven"? Interesting. And tells a lot about YOU.

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Lucille

Lindsey when I read about your meal and tip I thought it was lovely of you to have a wonderful evening out and to share that goodness with those who helped you have a great time.

Elmer has something puny and mean to say frequently, to an array of people. You don't owe him an explanation.

I find this gaudy and incredibly pretentious .

You are welcome to think what you like, but to make a comment like this in front of a perfectly nice member of our group is mean and rude. Elmer, since you've retired you have gone beyond your ordinary habit on expounding on almost everything here to show off how much you think you know. If you treat your wife this way I imagine you are lonely, I can't imagine her wanting to spend much time with you so you come here and expound. You don't have to be perfect to be here, but quit being rude to nice people.


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Elmer J Fudd

lindsey, sorry to derail your train but I usually am responding to words and thoughts, not people. I'd written my comment and clicked on Submit before noticing who the author was.

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Elmer J Fudd

Lucille, many of the people I know who are very generous do so anonymously. My view is that a table server serves the table and has no responsibility to be the evening's entertainment or to serve as charity recipient of the evening.

In a thread about "how much do you tip...", do you think talking about leaving a 70% tip is anything other than bragging? If you do, great. I don't. As I said, people I know who are generous are quiet about it.

I don't know if you've ever been to Las Vegas? A place I detest but have not been able to avoid going to on a few occasions. Anyway, in casinos, there are always people here and there, usually drunk, throwing money around like crazy in tips and overpayments for free drinks when gambling. All they need to do is open their mouths and you know you're not in the presence of someone who's a positive force or contributor to his or her community. Do the dealers and cocktail servers love these people? Of course they do, it's because of these fools their jobs are desirable. Do they know how to egg them on and cater to them to get more money? Of course. This restaurant gesture reminded me of that. Maybe not on the part of the server but certainly so on the part of the customers.

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Elmer J Fudd

"If you treat your wife this way I imagine you are lonely, I can't imagine her wanting to spend much time with you so you come here and expound."

Lucille, I think this is about as inappropriate and offensive as a comment could be.

Most adults know that having a successful marriage can be a challenge. If you really have to know, I think I got off to a pretty good start with my first wife but as always happens, things came up in pretty short order to strain the relationship. You give it your best, sometimes it works, sometimes not. We're still married, it's been over 40 years. Before you presume to guess so wrongly about me and my relationships, tell me, have you had a marriage that ended other than by the tragic death of a spouse, like by divorce? (Any death of a spouse is tragic). If so, how long were you married?



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amylou321

The question was "how much do you tip?" A direct and truthful answer to a direct question is not bragging. If someone asks."How many homes do you own?" If it's more than the standard "one" is saying so bragging? No.

And a tip is not "charity." Even if its higher than the customary one.


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bpath Oh Sophie

Why is tipping about a percentage? Doesn't the server, and staff if they tip out, doing the same amount of work whether you get a grilled cheese or a burger with cheese? (around here the burger costs more. I know, I know, that's a bad example as the difference is pretty negligible, but it was the best I could come up with in the moment.) Or any entrée? It just doesn't make sense. It should be built in to the prices, or a line item.

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watchmelol

Why is tipping about a percentage?

One reason is because of taxes. The IRS requires tips to be reported as a percentage of the business's gross receipts. Most places track those receipts by individual server. Generally a minimum of 8% is reported as income. So the tip truly isn't a gift but part of the server's wage thanks to the IRS. So the cost of the meal means more taxable income.

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chisue

I see a difference between extravagant tips to all and sundry and tipping "our usual amount" one time, at a restaurant you frequent, despite the check being less than usual.

Do recipients like money? Yes. Do they think it's due to a person's generous heart? No. But that is immaterial, along with how the money became yours to spend.

Ostentatious tipping, in person, in public, *appears* to be self-aggrandizing, regardless of whether that was the intent. It is different from quiet *generosity* -- a fine character trait.

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rob333 (zone 7a)

Depends. If they don't get me the food or the drink (buffet style), almost nothing. If at all. I don't understand servers in that situation. I don't tip at Starbucks or other coffee stands either (it's part of the job to make the drink, why should I tip for that?). If it's sit-down service, I start at 20% and it goes down if there are glaring server errors. Not the kitchen. Kitchen errors aren't something over which they have control. I don't tip more than that. Why would I? If they need more than that, maybe the establishment should step up their game??? I could be wrong, but it really shouldn't have to be more than that. They'd have to really knock my socks off, over and above, to get more. As they would have to be seriously egregious to get less.

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artemis_ma

My usual is 20% and I usually round up a bit to the nearest dollar.

I tip somewhat more at my go-to sushi restaurant - they know me -, and I tip more around 25% (maybe 30%) at diners where I'm spending, say, $9 on a meal - the waitstaff does just about as much work (sometimes more) than those at fancy restaurants.

Bad service? There's only been one occasion where I left no tip at all. (It was late at night at a 24 hour diner, only two tables, and the waitress had a 'tude, and spent her time flirting with the cook. It was before cell phones, otherwise I'm sure she'd be hanging on three of them at once. It was so evidently a real pain in her tush for her to come to our table. She didn't deserve a job, much less a tip.)

Otherwise, I do take into account crowds, being short-staffed and such. And I really do know the waitstaff isn't cooking the food, so I never tip based on the food itself. My range is between 18% and 20% at regular restaurants, more towards that 25% at places I'm spending just a little at.

I don't tip at Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks where I stand in line, not typically.




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Lucille

Ostentatious tipping, in person, in public, *appears* to be self-aggrandizing,

Most tips to wait staff are not ostentatious, they are quietly placed in a folder, or marked on a charge slip. Hardly anyone sees them.

If you are tipping an exotic dancer for a public dance by stuffing large denomination bills in his/her g string I agree that would be both ostentatious and self aggrandizing.

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Kathsgrdn

I do tip a lot sometimes. Got my hair cut the other day at a cheap place that has $10 hair cuts. I gave her a $5 tip...50%. She always tells me to come back for no charge if I don't like it, or she didn't cut enough off. Most places charge double what they do or more and there is always waiting if you walk in or even have an appointment. This place I rarely have to wait and if I do it's quick. Sometimes I do this at some restaurants especially if it's me and my daughter because most of the time we split a meal so I like to give a little more even if the bill isn't that big because they are serving two people and not one.

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always1stepbehind

At least 20%. Cheap haircut for son runs $18. I give the girl $5. My girl who only charges $35. I'll tip $10-$15 because I'd pay way more than $35. elsewhere and she always does a good job.

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Zalco/bring back Sophie!

Sometimes I think that people who are far removed from harsh economic circumstances can be less considerate of those who struggle more. I don't think the generosity described here comes from a prideful stance, rather one of understanding and care. And there are people who are fortunate in life who never lose sight of their blessings and are eager to share. And then there are the people who never have enough and are Grinchly. I am related to a woman who tips 10 percent and considers herself generous.

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Elmer J Fudd

zalco, I think you've greatly oversimplified, and greatly rationalized for effect, the "types" of people and circumstances they may be in. I'm personally not a believer in blessings. It was Thomas Jefferson who said "I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it."

I've probably given more time and money to real charities - non-religious non-profits- than most have. Overtipping and throwing money at low wage earners isn't helping the less fortunate of our society nor is it charitable giving of thoughtful, caring people in my experience. If you think it is, then have at it.

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Zalco/bring back Sophie!

In no way was I suggesting what you or anyone else does for charitable reasons. I did not mean to aim my comment at you specifically. The question of over-tipping was addressed by several posters and got me thinking.

As for our ability to make our own luck, that's another issue all together. I know I have worked hard, school, grad school, professional climb, yada yada. I am crystal clear that I started out way ahead of the game by the accident if birth. Blessing is surely a trite word and I should not have used it, since it implies many things I did not mean to imply.

As I said before, I am a 20 to 25 percent tipper myself. But reading the responses here of those who go beyond that made me consider what drove them to their generosity. I don't think the extra money is corrupting the service providers. Kindness never fails.

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Elmer J Fudd

zalco, maybe it's me, but I can't help but think some are equating the motivations of a table server with the poor souls who stand on the road medians at a left turn lane, holding a small cardboard sign that says "Hungry, need food or money please". Table servers are not there hoping to be benefactors of someone's largesse or kindness, anymore than the chef or the host(ess) or anyone else. Someone who feels touched by an interaction with a server of modest means can go home and write a check to a deserving charity.

Many poor choices and decisions are made with the best of intentions.

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Lindsey_CA

elmer, would it make you feel better if I posted copies of our tax returns? We donate more than 10% of our AGI (which is a healthy amount) to charity each year. We have no children, so we've not had to put out thousands of dollars on clothes, schools, activities, support, etc. We have more disposable income in retirement than we did when we were both working full time. We spend our money as we see fit.

You claimed that your diss of my post about our anniversary dinner tip was not directed at me, but, rather, at the post itself. You claim that, "I usually am responding to words and thoughts, not people. I'd written my comment and clicked on Submit before noticing who the author was." That's bull and you know it. If you truly responded only to words and thoughts, you wouldn't address your comments to people by name.

"lindsey, sorry to ..." "Lucille, many of ..." "Lucille, I think ..." "zalco, I think ..." "zalco, maybe it's me ..."

Yeah, elmer, it's YOU.

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Elmer J Fudd

Sorry, but the first comment I made on this subject that you think was intentionally directed to you had no name mentioned. You can look above and check, I haven't edited it, it is how it was originally. There's bragging in your most recent post too so what I was responding to without mentioning a name, in the first post we're discussing, was hardly out of character, though I didn't know who I was referring to.

I'll use a name to respond to a comment I think someone directed to or at me.

Tax returns? Yeah, there are some that should be made public but it's not yours.

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Lindsey_CA

Again, elmer, what you say is bull. In your very first response in this thread, you quoted the last line of my response. How can that be construed as not being directed at me?

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Elmer J Fudd

Citing words means I was responding to words.

I'm done, you've ignored my explanations and your mind seems to be closed. Does it disappoint you that my comment wasn't about you? Then I guess you need to be disappointed.

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pb32

I have a chance for raises and bonuses at work if I do a great job. The way I see it, servers have hundreds or thousands of "mini-bosses" over the course of a year. If they do a good job for me, I like rewarding good performance because Lord knows they're never going to get more than the bare minimum from their employer.

We have several family owned restaurants we frequent, along with servers in each one who practically fight to serve us when we arrive. The ones who are attentive and take good care of us typically get about 25%. We tend to get phenomenal service at those places.

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Springs1 Doe

"Sometimes it's not the servers fault the food is slow in coming. They could be understaffed in the kitchen or on the floor."

While "SOMETIMES" it is true, MOST of the time it's not, sorry to say, here's why:


Sorry to burst your bubble, but here's why you are wrong:

Ask yourself these questions as a server:

  1. WHEN do you put in my order? Do you wait or do you go put it in
    immediately after taking it? If you are double sat or triple sat, you can still
    go put in each order into the computer after taking each table’s order. By not
    doing that can result in a much longer wait and that would be YOUR FAULT.

2. FORGETTING to put in an order. My husband and I have experienced this for
REAL that servers ADMITTED to our faces they have FORGOTTEN TO PUT ORDERS IN.
All of them were appetizers, bar drinks, and a cup of soup.

3. Did you put in the order CORRECTLY into the computer? Have had many times
servers ADMITTED to our faces they did not do that correctly. Have had wrong
entrées before due to our server putting in the order wrong. Have had wrong bar
drinks too due to the server putting in the order wrong.

4. Did you FORGET ANYTHING I ORDERED such as a SIDE DISH? We have had this
happen a number of times as well.

5. Did you DROP anything I ordered? Luckily, we have not had this happen,
but I have seen a server once drop some fries from a plate before and I did
have a waiter spill some margarita martini when pouring into a martini glass.
In other words, it is possible, not likely, but very possible.

6. Did you remember to GET my food? We have had a server do that before.
Also, we have had a number of servers forget bar drinks.

7. Did you bring out my food obviously correctly if you bring my food out?
Do you realize how many times OUR OWN SERVER brings out DUH mistakes like the
side dish is wrong, the entrée is wrong, something obvious is not correct bacon
that isn’t covered up isn’t extra, extra crispy when you can clearly notice
that it isn’t without touching anything, etc.? Every DUH mistake you bring out
is YOUR FAULT I am waiting for what I did order by you wasting my time bringing
me the wrong item or wrongly prepared item or forgot something. While we all
make mistakes, I would have to say a good 90% of the time, servers NEVER
COMPARE THE WRITTEN ORDERS TO THE FOOD, because they are TOO LAZY and DON’T
CARE!!

8. Servers DO wait to put in entrée orders when appetizers, side salads, or
cups of soup are ordered. THAT *IS* THE GOD’S TRUTH! Sometimes it’s TOO LONG
THEY WAIT! If it’s another server, it still doesn’t make it the kitchen staff’s
fault I have the wrong side dish for example since that is something that’s
obvious. It’s either my server that didn’t put in my order correctly or this
other server that didn’t compare the ticket to the food or that this other
server did compare the ticket to the food, but just missed it(HIGHLY UNLIKELY,
but possible).

9. WHEN do you come to GET MY ORDER? That part is covered in #2 below.

10. WHEN do you DECIDE to LET ME ORDER? That part is covered in #4 below.

11. WHEN do you decide to DELIVER MY FOOD? That part is covered in #1 below.

12. Do you, because they are out of something, decide to assume everyone
wants the closest thing so you do the ordering for me? That part is covered in
#3 below.

13. WHEN do you decide to check up on WHERE the food is? If the kitchen
staff somehow lost the ticket, did you wait 30 minutes and then decide to find
out that or did you check after 10-15 minutes to see that our food was getting
started on?Continued next post:

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Springs1 Doe

I just recently went with my husband, we were the FIRST people when they
opened. Our waitress greets us and gets our drink orders with bread
request. She doesn't tell the other party behind us that got seated a
minute or so after us that she'd be right with them, she actually TOOK
their drink orders and then FIXED ALL of the other 3 drinks, then
actually had the GALL to *GIVE THEM THEIR DRINKS FIRST OFF THE TRAY
EVEN**. Needless to say this waitress did NOT see a tip. She cut
SEVERAL TIMES in front of OUR TURN and our check receipt has 11:10.am.,
which we were greeted literally 30 seconds after being seated, so
there's no excuse to have your food orders take THAT LONG to be put into
the computer. She didn't even have our drinks until around 11:07a.m..
It took her 7 minutes to get 2 soft drinks, that's RIDICULOUS!

Needless to say I did REPORT her cutting in front of our turn. So don't say
sometimes this or that, because the MAJORITY of the time, honestly, your
server has LOTS to do with your wait time. Especially if they take
your food orders and then go to another table without being called over
to take their food orders and then they have more people in their party
than you do even. That's so unfair! Just WATCH YOUR SERVER THAT NEXT
TIME YOU EAT OUT AND SEE WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!

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Lucille

I would have to say a good 90% of the time, servers NEVER
COMPARE THE WRITTEN ORDERS TO THE FOOD, because they are TOO LAZY and DON’T
CARE!!

I don't believe this. While there are some in every job that don't care, the wait staff I've seen are by and large hard working, and they do care. Looking out over a long life, the VAST majority of my meals at restaurants have been fine. Some have been very good. A few have had problems. But I don't think that unmotivated staff last too long because it can be hard work.

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maifleur01

If I had that many problems with restaurants I would wonder where the problem actually is. I have had wrong items on my plates but it is generally that the kitchen followed what they were told went on the plate when I asked for a substitution. Handling several tables at the same time while waitstaff might glance to see if the normal items are on the plate most do not have the memory to remember special requests.

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amylou321

Yikes. There are some people here that CLEARLY need to stay home and cook and serve their own food.

My first job was a sandwich artist at Subway. My boss WARNED me on my first day that the most difficult person to deal with was a hungry, picky one. And that some people would treat me like a piece of scum. And that I needed to be ready for that. Later that same day, a large woman waddled in there. She demanded that her pickles be cut into quarters. Okay. No problem. While i was putting the pickle shards on her sandwich, she spotted two pieces that were still barely connected and flew off the handle. She called me all sorts of vile names. I was 15. That was almost 20 years ago. I still remember her face, her voice, that rotten fish/moldy corn chip smell that was likely wafting from her 6 month old hair weave, and the look of helpless terror on her adult daughter's face. This was the first incident. But it was not the last or even the worst.

I didn't expect a tip ever. However, as a PERSON, I expected some level of respect for my existence and my effort. I certainly did not INTEND to leave the pickle pieces connected in some sort of diabolical plot to ruin her meal. I highly doubt there is a noteworthy percentage of servers who dont care or are lazy, as THEY do work for tips. Any servers that I know personally say they certainly can tell when someone they are serving simply cannot be satisfied,so they put in the minimum effort. Maybe some people here are such people......

And Elmer, as for your comment, the cooks and hostesses make a higher wage. And it is not customary or expected to tip them,so of course they don't expect it. Part of a server's income does depend on the discretion of the customer.

And again,it is highly inappropriate to suggest that someone give THEIR money to a charity rather than whatever they wish to spend it on,whether it be a higher tip for a server, a lottery ticket or a tutu for their dog.


And I find your statement about how YOU have given more to charities and non profits than most a form of shameless BRAGGING,especially as know one asked about it. (Do you have proof of this,btw? Hours logged volunteering, receipts of donations? Not just yours, but everyone elses too so that you can truthfully make such a statement?)

I'll wait....



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Elmer J Fudd

It sounds like the boss at Subway had good insights to pass along. A good learning experience to work there.

My comments about charitable giving were in response to an insinuation that I lacked empathy and generousity for others. I wouldn't have mentioned it otherwise. I'll repeat my opinion that throwing money at a table server out of empathy isn't charitable giving nor is it something anyone should feel other than foolish about. If anything, it's condescending - "Look at what a miserable wretch you are. Here, see, I can throw money at you that you need and I don't and then just walk away".


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Lucille

If anything, it's condescending

I do not agree with your outlook, although you do seem to be an expert at being condescending.

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gardengal48 (PNW Z8/9)

I have a family member of substantial independent means who eats out often as well as hosts family gatherings of various sizes at local restaurants. He is just on the slightly picky or demanding side but is always greeted very warmly at any restaurant he routinely patronizes, be it the local diner or a very upscale eatery. Always seated promptly and the servers flock to wait on his table. The reason is he is a very generous tipper, regardless if the bill is modest or in the multiple hundreds (which is more often than not). There is nothing ostentatious or pretentious about it and no one, other than he and the primary server, have any idea of just how much he is tipping but the degree of service he receives - and no doubt has come to expect - is directly proportional to what he is willing to pay for.

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Elmer J Fudd

Lucille, your personal insults become tiring. Take a break, most others find they can participate here without resorting to that. If I cared about your opinions, I'd be more concerned. I don't and I'm not.

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Lindsey_CA

"I'll repeat my opinion that throwing money at a table server out of empathy isn't charitable giving nor is it something anyone should feel other than foolish about. If anything, it's condescending - 'Look at what a miserable wretch you are. Here, see, I can throw money at you that you need and I don't and then just walk away'."

It is interesting that you presume a large tip is given out of empathy for the server's unfortunate lot in life, and that the tip giver feels superior to the server. I can assure you that the tip we left for our server on our anniversary was given as a reward for stellar service, witty conversation, and all-around making the evening extremely enjoyable for us.

"Lucille, your personal insults become tiring. Take a break, most others find they can participate here without resorting to that. If I cared about your opinions, I'd be more concerned. I don't and I'm not."

Obviously, you do care and you are concerned. Otherwise, you wouldn't have mentioned it.

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Lucille


" I find this gaudy and incredibly pretentious ." Elmer this is your description of a tip left by someone here for wait staff after a nice evening out. This remark you made is discourteous and disrespectful and insulting, IMHO. You seem to feel that you can say anything, calling it an opinion or observation.


Elmer, respect is earned. Interestingly, so is the opposite, which you have earned by being disrespectful to many here. It is not like I am the only one noticing that your intrusive, judgmental behavior is getting worse here since you retired. That your are condescending is not an insult, it is an observation. Don't like it? Then it is up to you to change.

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marcopolo5

I have always thought Wait Staff have very tough jobs. They work very hard to keep multiple tables "Happy". They are on their feet moving in tight spaces with arm loads of hot plates for 6 or 8 hour shifts. I admire anyone willing to take a job in a restaurant. It is amazing how many people treat wait staff in a rude manner, for no reason. If an error happens, NOT the end of a good experience. It is very apparent on cruises, guests feel they can say and do whatever they feel like. I believe being polite and friendly gets you a much better experience. And we tip in excess of 20% most often.

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diane_nj 6b/7a

My base is 20% and can go up or down. I appreciate excellent service, and notice when I am snubbed, mostly due to assumptions.

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DawnInCal

What diane said.

Although, I don't get why some people get so riled up about the tipping practices of others. It's their money and if they want to spend some of it by leaving large tips, so what?

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Kathsgrdn

Amylou, I agree, some people just shouldn't go out to eat. They are never going to be happy. My daughter has told me some things. People coming in, eating every bit of their food and then complaining. The restaurant then comps them their meal. After they gobbled it all down!!!!

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colleenoz

"Yikes. There are some people here that CLEARLY need to stay home and cook and serve their own food." Yes, I think one of them was posting here.

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DawnInCal

I'm reminded of something I witnessed in a craft brewery when we were on vacation last summer. To start - it's a brewery. They make beer. All different kinds of craft beer. However, they have four types of wine available for those who don't care for beer.

Two women walked in and sat next to us at the bar. I knew the minute they sat down that they were going to be impossible to please. What kind of wine do you have? We don't like any of those. No, we don't want beer, it's disgusting. The bartender offered the sparkling apple cider made by the brewery. Nope, they didn't want that. They looked at the food menu and disparaged all of the choices, including the recommendations made by the bartender.

Finally, they settled on a white wine, b*tched the entire time they were there, and after taking a couple of sips of their wine, asked for their bill. They paid and walked out complaining the entire time. Yep, they stiffed the bartender too.

They were the kind of people who should probably stay home.

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Debby

My parents came to Calgary a few years ago, and took my sister, myself and my husband out for dinner to a steak restaurant. My dad and I ordered our steaks medium rare, and my husband ordered his blue rare. Remember: STEAK restaurant, it's their specialty. We get our meals and both my steak and my dads are medium well, and my husbands is closer to medium. We told the server our steaks were cooked wrong. She gets the chef. The chef comes out to tell us (I live in Alberta, we know our steaks, we eat a LOT of steak!) that "medium rare and blue rare mean different things depending where you come from." Really? No. Just no. Rare is rare. Medium rare means the middle is rare. Medium is pink. Blue rare is the cow still moo's. We asked for the manager. He agreed with us. My husband was starving, he ate his anyway. My dad and I asked for ours to be cooked over again. All three of our meals were removed from the bill by the manager.

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nicole___

Regular Mimimum wage=$11.10 an hr/non tipped position

In Colorado....a "tipped" employee makes less than a minimum wage job.

quote:

$8.08=Tipped Minimum Wage.

If an employee is covered by federal and Colorado state minimum wage laws, then the employer must pay the higher minimum wage for tipped employees. Federal tipped minimum wage is currently $2.13 per hour, which is lower than the 2019 Colorado tipped minimum wage of $8.08 per hour. Jan 1, 2019

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I think a LOT of people don't understand a tipped position, like a waitress, earns their wage through tips. And....they're taxed 8% for tips, since most don't claim tips.

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maifleur01

IRS used to use charts for tipped positions. My StS was working as a waiter and was notified he under reported tips. Knowing him, he did not report any. A family friend suggested that he report the ones on the cc's plus a little extra but not all. I have been known to leave a tip on a card and real money to the staff.

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HU-471105517

Okay, the remarks and stories on here have influenced my tipping. I now tip quite a bit more than i did 2 weeks ago when i started reading this thread. And i tip my mechanic, too, now.

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HU-471105517

And...i tip in cash. The waitress can claim it, or not, but im fighting the cashless society where the govt will be able to monitor everything that we do with our money.

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Debby

I just had dinner with my sister. We talked tips. Her daughter is a hostess in an upscale restaurant here. She makes $15 an hour. In an 8 hour shift, she earns $120 in wages, less taxes. PLUS she brings home in cash every single shift $80 - $100 on top of her wage. In one day, she can earn about $210 before taxes. PER DAY! Servers bring home more in tips.

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