Oh Robin, thanks so much for sharing this wonderful occasion with us. Your description of the gowns and the decorations, the music, and the beautiful chapel were marvelous. How wonderful to be a part of such happiness. I got teary-eyed while reading about it. I'm so glad you had a good time; I hope the newly weds have a long, happy marriage ahead of them.

Guidelines for a cookie exchange? Yeah....no jello jigglers, no pretzel rods dipped into cheap melted chocolate, no pretzel wreaths, no flourescent popcorn balls made with jello, no rice crispie or any other cereal based bars, even if they do have crushed peppermint in them, no haystacks made from chow mein noodles and melted almond bark. I am sure there are more but I can't think of them right now! And yeah...it IS all about presentation. As I learned from funeral lunches (well really I knew ti way before that!) Put a table cloth on the table and some sort of centerpiece,e ven if it's only a pumpkin and some fall leaves and people think it's fabulous! many years ago, a friend and I particiated in a Christmas bazaar where the cost of the space went to charity and the entrance fee from the buyers, and what you sold you got to keep. We were not really into tiny painted birdhouses or dressed dolls etc... what we sold was really pretty lame... On the day of the sale I got there about an hour before Liz and set up the booth...had a frame so I could raise a checked table cloth high so it could be seen....and we were swamped. Liz said when she came all she could see was this great mob around one booth....and lo and behold it was our booth. Presentation...pricing and product. Linda C

FD, yes, I am estranged from my mother. That is now, not then, when the situation I'm talking about occurred. And like I said, my dad didn't just out and say "man your mom is one annoying SOB" or anything like that. It came up, in a civilized way, years later, as part of an adult conversation about relationships. Nothing more. All I was trying to get across by sharing that experience was that the "Bio-parents" who are acting as a "Couple" for events with their children are often doing just that.... ACTING. Ulrike, I think you are caught between a rock and a hard spot. Yes, preempting her announcement may be a little embarrassing, but it's embarrassing ON YOUR TERMS. Rather than hers. And yes, it's polite to introduce someone who just barges onto the scene, regardless of how idiotic and bumbling they appear. Drunk uncle John fumbles his way up to you at a dinner party where you are standing with a couple you literally just met..."Mark, Sue, this is my uncle John... Uncle John, this is Mark and Sue. We just met." Sure, now Mark and Sue know you have a drunk uncle John. Most likely they will sympathize with you and admire your tact. Same with Bio-Mom. Just smile, and introduce her "Oh hello BOP (Bio-Obnoxious-Person), let me introduce you to Mark and Sue. Mark and Sue, this is BOP, Jane and Josh's mother. She lives in Richfield and makes a career of annoying us and sucking my husband dry." Except more tactful than that. If you can ;) Don't say she was DH's first wife. That's not pertinent. What is still valid is that she is the parent of her children. If she says "nice to meet you, I was her DH's first wife," she's the one who looks like a ninny, not you. And leave it to Mark and Sue to ask who the heck Jane and Josh are, and why the heck their mother just crashed your conversation. They'll figure it out, or they won't. Either way, it's BOP who just made the awkward impression, not you. I would not expect BOP to catch the hint that Shannon is dangling simply because she doesn't care, she has her agenda and that is to make absolutely sure she gets credit for her mother badge. Give it to her upfront. Take the higher ground. Someone who is your friend would understand the sub-context and keep personal things personal, but someone like her would most likely keep pushing through and ignore the subtleties. Or, because you just met them, be even more inclined to make sure they know the history right away. I also agree that if a person (ANYONE) is invited to an event where they are not directly involved, and they are treated with respect, they should not complain. But Ulrike is not complaining. She is asking how to deal with awkward situations. I think she should be invited to all functions as long as she behaves herself as an honored guest. She is DH's wife. It comes with the territory. Whether BM likes it or not. And, lest I be raked across the coals, I have BM and SM issues, and I am a BM and a SM. Every situation is different and has so many facets it's IMPOSSIBLE to judge the situation of another. Who knows if any of us is really a whack job and the BM's are really the sane ones? LOL. Or V.V.? The only thing I can do is say what works for me in awkward situations.

Sorry to say I am not at all surprised by RH's duplicity in pretending they are selling one of a kind rugs (or one of a kind anything, for that matter), or their incompetence in tracking their stock, their fake shipping dates and timely charging of your credit card. The company is a complete fraud, from the ground up, IMO. Honest catalog retailers state their wares are "unique" because the item being described is hand made and therefore the one that arrives may not look like the picture. RH seems to play fast and loose with that concept as their ad copy makes you believe that a featured item is truly the ONLY one like it. I always wondered how they could spend so much money showcasing single run new items or one of a kind vintage or antique things. Now it appears they have revealed their true business model to you. I always thought their brand appealed to the yuppie worst in us all. I include myself in that, I'm sorry to say. I have purchased a curtain rod from RH about seven years ago and probably would have bought other things as well, but after receiving their massive catalog missives decided not to do business with them any more.