Well, I like to cook with my husband...agreed that makes dinner later, but we're okay with it. Also we play board games...

As far as tv goes, we have a roku. I think it's the best thing ever invented.

Sometimes we walk the dog together, but both my hubs and dog seem to power walk while I prefer to stroll...

We're boring. My dh starts work early and is home by 5. We go to the gym together, then go home and have dinner in our dining room (which encourages a leisurely meal,) usually read/do paperwork and then watch an episode or two of whatever series we're currently into (The Blacklist right now.) Then we read in bed for 20 minutes or so.

Works for us.

Having cable is a good way to do something together.

We go for a 45 minute walk together every single night w/ the dogs. We really enjoy that! We also enjoy playing board games together. We got Pandemic Legacy last year, which is a continuing game that kind of builds on the games from before and that was a fun challenge. We'll cook or bake together (dinner or cookies or healthy bars). Or we will share videos on YouTube, like songs we like or things we found funny. We also really enjoy doing scratch off tickets together (LOL!) We buy the ones that take a long time, like Bingo, and take turns scratching the numbers. We actually end up winning more than we lose (knock on wood). And, we started a veggie garden together too, so we'll sometimes weed the garden if it's not dark.

We are not TV watchers. While we'll binge watch certain specific series together (Stranger Things!) we don't just put on the TV.

We've walked almost every day/evening since the day we met. That's our time to connect and though our neighborhood is great for walking, we prefer to drive to a nearby park where we can be in the midst of nature.

Neither of us are very energetic when we get home, especially not with the current winter weather. Sometimes one or both of us has had a relatively stressful day at work. With tons of snow, ice and still below zero temps we veg out in front of the tube. We have no cable and never watch network TV so stream something from Amazon or Netflix. Sometimes we really watch it and sometimes we kind of watch and surf the net and talk about our day and what's been going on. Sometimes we have a beer or a glass of wine. Sometimes I make dinner, Tuesdays we get a pizza and sometimes we go out for dinner. Out for dinner is quite nice as there are no devices allowed. We are social members of the golf course we live on and make a five minute walk out to dinner. That is when it's not 40 below wind chill and ice that you might fall and break your neck on. When the weather is nice we'll cook on the grill and sit on the deck and watch the golfers play by. And sometimes go for a walk. DH likes to go to the driving range. When I retire I'm taking up golf so then we'll both go to the range.

Our alone time together also happens when we are tired, but it is the end of the day when everyone is in bed. Sometimes we just sit and talk over a cup of tea or whatever. Do you have a fireplace? Having a view or something to look at is nice. But we are always surprised by how pleasant is to have everything quiet and just ... chat.

When the weather is nice we go for walks. When it’s really cold and really hot we do jigsaw puzzles together. During both of these activities we talk to each other.

We have different natural schedules I’m an early-er and he’s a late-er. So during the week when I’m not traveling, we make dinner or go out and watch a little tv. It is what it is.

We’re typically homebodies. On Friday we have happy hour at home and then cook. Sometimes we also have happy hour on Saturday and occasionally on Sunday too! Happy hour includes cocktails, snacks and music.

Hubby works from home and I work part-time, until June, when I will retire. I'm sure I will do something outside the house a couple of days a week. We both start early and hubby is usually winding down when I get home. He often does paper work in the kitchen while I'm getting dinner ready and we chat, share the day's events, etc. From just as soon as we can in spring till as late as we can in fall, we will most usually be found outside. We have a nice patio area (with a pergola and shade cover) and a firepit further out in the yard. Back is private and fenced for the pup. We may just sit and relax or piddle in the plantings, etc. Sometimes a walk, sometimes a project. We often have DIY projects going on at our house, and will sometimes spend a couple of hours on those in the evening. We do usually go out at least one evening a week, sometimes more or sometimes during the day. Not much tv for us and very little online time when it's "us" time as that can really suck up a chunk of time before you even realize it!

I retired last June, but we had 10 years as empty nesters working full-time. DH worked from home for much of that time so he prepared dinner M-T. We always set a nice table and enjoyed a leisurely dinner with candles, wine and music. After dinner we watched the news and our favorite nightly local show. Then it was off to my desk to work (teachers always bring work home) and early to bed for me.

My situation is unusual as my SO is my ex bf. No plans to elevate the status and most often were separated by thousands of miles. Still I very much need unwind time and we enjoy “our time” nightly.

We almost always have a series going that we can watch 1-3 times a week. We have a pretty broad area where our tastes overlap and that’s what we focus on for together time. Most recently, “Barry”

scrabble is a fav too when physically together — often played with a small bites dinner.

Mostly we make time to talk. Politics, amusements, latest episode debrief, stories etc. he keeps me up on news on my long work days — I chuckle because he sees it as his “job”. I appreciate it .. and it is sweet (even though we’re not 100% politically aligned— which CAN make it more fun)

i think you just need to find what you enjoy together and go with that! I used to think special time was doing something new and different — but really it’s about sharing 100% of the moment. At least for me!

When we are home together, a rarity these days, it's mostly dinner and discussion, a long walk or a hike. Since work is omnipresent for my husband, having time to chat and catch up at dinner is super important. I email my husband news articles or New Yorker stories, so we can have those kinds of stories to discuss. We'll often play cards, Gin, or backgammon in bed- games that don't require much thought and allow for conversation.

I enjoy playing cards and games but my husband is sooooo competitive that I refuse to play with him. He's normally a very kind and sympathetic guy but a deck of cards seems to bring out the worst in him.

We usually watch PBS and talk about the news and then walk the dog. We enjoy our town baseball team so in the spring and summer we often watch evening games together.

We go through spurts where we will watch a show, we just finished Russian Doll which was very good.

Thanks for the ideas! Giving this some thought I realize that some of this is situational and some of it is personality. Hubs and I don't lack for opportunities for together-time or even downtime, but we approach it very differently due to him being an introvert and me being an extrovert.

As for the situational, part of it is that our current house just isn't set up very well for recreating yet. I'm still struggling to get a handle on my things from moving and my mother's things I inherited. This weighs on me heavily. I have been trying to devote at least an hour a day before I got to work to de-cluttering, but if I were to add more in the evenings I'm not sure how my husband will react to it cutting into our joint time. I think he might be OK if I don't completely devote the whole evening to it.

Our current house and community are not conducive to walking and we really miss our evening walks, since our previous home was in a VERY walk-able neighborhood. Again, we both have opportunities to walk available to us, but due to traffic, layout, darkness, weather and mosquitoes in the summer, evening walks together are not very viable.

Lastly we have been putting off getting a digital TV mainly because of the clutter issue, we just don't want to add re-organizing yet another one of our systems that is already set up and functioning to a degree, we know how to use it. But cable TV has become such a wasteland and we don't really want to pay for more channels when all that means is more carp programming and more commercials. Hubs and I don't often agree on tv programs so the more choice we have the better chance of something coming up we agree on. I would be fine with him watching tv in one room and me reading in another, or me working in the kitchen which is open to the tv room, but he doesn't like that to be the norm. He'll often give up watching something he likes if I'm not interested, which is weird because I am fine with him watching it and me giving my attention to something else in the house. I guess he is carrying around baggage from his first marriage where he and his wife lived totally separate lives in the same house, as a way to tolerate being together for "the sake of the kids." He was quite miserable. Anyway, we have been talking about biting the bullet and getting a digital TV for a long while.

As far as the personality clash, I'm the extrovert and I am working with ideas and people all day long so when I come home, I want to decompress and give my brain a rest from all that. I've spent all day with issues, so I don't want to talk about them, and if I did want to talk, it would be with a whole spectrum of people, including but not limited to my husband. I need an activity that occupies my mind enough to halt the constant back and forth of my worried, female brain. I can't tell you how many times my husband says, "Just don't think about it!" AS IF!! I sure wish that was possible, and it's not from lack of trying that I have determined that it is not. If I lived alone, I would prescribe meditation! My husband on the other hand, has spent most of the day alone and working on physical projects. He wants us to devote our attention to each other at the end of the day, in typical introvert fashion where all your social eggs are in one treasured basket. It's too much pressure, lol!

Don't take this the wrong way, we can work these hurdles out, that's life!

I'd bite the bullet and get the TV. We have expanded basic cable and a sports package for dh. We also have Netflix which I love! The only problem is when we sit down to watch something together and he falls asleep which means I have to wait for him to rewatch what he missed before we can move on.

I love Netflix, too! It’s cheaper and easier than going to the movies . . . and you can stop your movie whenever, for snack or bathroom breaks. I don’t know how we got so lucky, but Netflix just messaged us that this week we’re getting “Bohemian Rhapsody”, “A Star is Born” and “Mary Queen of Scots”! Needless to say, this is going to be a MAJOR couch potato weekend for us!

Lynn, that's amazing! We borrowed A Star is Born from the library and watched it last week.

Three of our four kids are still at home. We all have dinner together nearly every night tho it is often a later dinner like 7-7:30pm. Typical teen kids, they then retire to their bedrooms to finish homework, etc. Dh needs way more sleep than I, and also gets up earlier as he leaves at 6:30am to take S16 to his high school carpool, then goes to work. I do get up before they leave, but since I don’t need as much sleep, I don’t go to bed as early. Dh typically heads upstairs by 9:30, while I stay up until 11ish. So weeknights, we sometimes watch the national news together (recorded on DVR, then we watch around 9 after dinner). We'll talk for a bit then he’s off to bed. I stay up and read. Weekends, he’s often watching sports with our boys so I’ll hang out in the same room and read my book. Probably a couple times a month, we will actually watch something on Netflix together. We really don’t watch much tv.

i imagine once the kids are gone, we will probably use that freed up time to walk our two dogs together in the evening after dinner, continue to watch the news. We still won’t really do much together on weeknights as he will continue to go to bed early even when he doesn’t have to drive S16 anymore. He needs a good 8-9 hr sleep while I’m good with 6-7. I typically go to bed after him on weekends and still get up earlier than he does!

Hubby and I are both content to have our own space. He occasionally complains that we don't watch TV together, but we both like to watch very different things most of the time - go figure! He likes serious dramas with ultra violence, while I don't, and prefer comedies and vintage shows/movies.

I have the same issue of needing a long wind down at night to be able to get to sleep.

Our house is tiny anyway, so we often are talking to each other from almost any 2 rooms.

Another vote for Roku - it's a wonderland and very easy to use, IMPE. We have one Roku TV and a Philips smart TV with Roku Express. YouTube is even on there, so the options, both paid and free, are practically endless.

We have Hulu and Netflix, and Hoopla, from our local library, has movies and TV shows as well as music, books and audiobooks to check out for free.

And FWIW, new TVs are so much slimmer and lightweight, with better resolution too. TCL Roku TVs aren't as expensive as many other brands, and eliminate the need for plugging in a device - though the Roku Express is tiny and very easy to install.

Carol you and I and my husband and your husband have the same tastes in TV. After work, I want light and uplifting. He likes dark and that often means a lot of violence. I listen to NPR for 30 min both to and from work and I read online articles over lunch at work, that's enough news for me. I don't like commentators almost life-size on our big TV, excitedly yammering and arguing in the middle of my family room either! Hubs is often oblivious and seemingly unaffected by it, although I maintain it creates a negative vibe that does end up affecting his moods subconsciously.

NPR.org is my go-to for news & culture as well. I read the articles on their site more than I get to hear their broadcasts, since my 'commute' is only about 10 minutes.

FWIW, those bobbleheads arguing on TV is not news anyway - they might be arguing about news, but it's punditry and opinion.

And hubby says that since we cut the cable, he's watching a lot less of that stuff, and basically watches the streaming news channels' headline news instead. He says he feels much better!

Carol check out Tubi on your Roku...

It's free with maybe 2 very short commercials every so often..There's loads of content on there...

Yeah, I say the same thing to my husband, "This isn't news, it's folks endlessly talking about news, and the same stuff day in and day out to boot!" But hubs also has endless tolerance for sports commentary as well. The talk about the game lasts almost if not longer than the game itself!

Already familiar with Tubi - love the old TV shows they have on there!