JB, thanks. Studying daily habit patterns has confirmed for me that our current home is no longer a match for our needs. Sometimes you do need more space!

Also, we would love a more rural setting, but we're not experienced at caring for a large piece of property. I would be interested in your perspective on that increased level of responsibility. I'm aware that brush needs to be cleared for fire safety periodically in most areas, and vector control can be an issue. What else? (Others chime in too please!)

Hou 2009, so sorry to hear about the loss of your home. I'm glad you are moving forward and sticking to your vision of what is right for you. Indeed it will be lovely some day. Thanks for replying.

Holly Stockley, your comment about your DH's opinions made me smile. I'm fortunate that my DH and I have the same taste on most things. We've remodeled almost every room in this home at least once, and we've seldom clashed on decisions. When we disagree, I've found he's usually right. Congrats on taking on 10 acres for your family's future! I'd love your thoughts on the size. What are you used to? I would love to have more than the 10 feet we have now between us and the neighbor's home!

Mrs Pete, again, very thoughtful responses. Thank you. All my relatives have lived into their 90's, so it is a priority to design for that!

Holly, you are a great role model on how to do it well. Keep me posted!

Also, we would love a more rural setting, but we're not experienced at caring for a large piece of property. [...] I'm aware that brush needs to be cleared for fire safety periodically in most areas, and vector control can be an issue. What else?

My first thought? Critters.

If you don't already know, learn who your local players are. Because I have children, I'm most interested in discouraging apex predators and venomous reptiles around here. Certain insects and arachnids can be terribly bothersome, too.

ODD,

Yes, the local wildlife is a consideration for certain. I'm used to coyotes, black widow spiders, skunks, possums, and rattlesnakes, but not apex predators. I've been told that when buying land in certain states you do have to be extra careful that you're not buying land with a resident protected species on it that would impact building restrictions.

We are building our first custom home. In the past, we have purchased a brand new spec home, two existing homes and built a new home with a national builder. I think this gives us a good perspective on the pros and cons of each way of buying a home. The main pro for building custom is that we are able to have a home exactly suited to our needs. We are putting many universal design features in place. Since you are experienced homeowners, you will think of all of the little inconveniences of every house you have lived in and be able to have the new home designed to eliminate them. For us, this is huge! We have a really wonderful builder and that makes all of the difference. There are no cons for us so far other than living in a rental while the design and building process has been taking place. That is due to working with a really good builder though. Definitely do your research and find one. The very best of luck.

Kriii, Thanks for the encouragement! I agree with your comment about "all the little inconveniences of every house" informing your design choices.

anitastadler, We live in Western Pennsylvania. We are surrounded by cornfields, unmowed fields, and woods. Here, everyone needs to own a good lawn mower, a good chainsaw, and a good shovel/snow plow for your driveway (or hire someone that does have those things). Other than that, it's pretty easy maintenance and upkeep.

"...My first thought? Critters. If you don't already know, learn who your local players are. Because I have children, I'm most interested in discouraging apex predators and venomous reptiles around here. Certain insects and arachnids can be terribly bothersome, too..."

It can be something as simple as ticks dropped from deer which transmit Lyme Disease. It's a pain...!

If you have deer, keep them away from your house and the areas where children play...

For us the benefit was being able to pick out a piece of property that was in an area we loved. We have 2 acres on which we can place our home in the exact location to take advantage of the beautiful sunrise. Growing up my father was a builder so every house I lived in was custom. As an adult and buying existing homes I quickly learned the value of not only quality but good "bones" as they say. I'm fortunate my husband grew up the same way. His father was an electrician. When we married we moved into a house his father had built. That was some 15 years ago. I was spoiled with having plugs in the best places, security lights all around and electrical conveniences I took for granted. Fast forward a few years. We moved to an area to retire. Bought a small home in nice area but it didn't have all the custom things we were used to. After living in the area for 2 years we found our property. We have just broke ground. The most inconvenient thing is living in a 25' trailer in the winter. Trailers are not very well insulated. We planned on starting 4 months ago but had a loan officer who had personal problems and wasn't doing her job. We switched to someone else and the process started moving forward again. Building custom isn't for everyone, Things are not always in your control. People don't always do what and when they say. You will spend hours making decisions and then doubt yourself. We have a very modest budget and expensive tastes which makes it harder. This forum has helped tremendously. We can learn from others mistakes. Will it be perfect. No but close enough for us.

The husband and I both come from farm families. The parcel we bought is very overgrown. So we intend to let the four-legged pruners take care of much of it. (Sheep primarily, though a few goats may be required due to the amount of wild rose). About of a third of the parcel is walnut plantation. Another acre or so is a sugar Bush. So it will be managed partially as pasture, silvopasture, garden, chicken coop/run, etc. 10 acres should be just about right, although it will mean buying hay.

Being in the upper Midwest means less issues with critters as dangerous and more annoying, so I have not a lot of advice there

Building a custom home can be an exciting and extremely frustrating experience - all at once. I blame builders on the latter but more on that later.

We're in the middle of our second build (http://bamasotan.us).

Our first was semi-custom. We began with a stock plan from our builder and modified it a fair bit. On the plus side, our builder wanted to move in to the custom home market so he was all in with our changes. It was also a fixed price build and we limited change orders so came in about where we expected from a budget standpoint.

OTOH, his attention to detail and sense of quality was very different from ours so we had to devote a lot of time to overseeing things and writing notes to him (this was before most people had email).

In the end though its worked. We've lived here for 30 years.

-----

Our current build is fully custom. We would have much preferred to buy existing but were not able to find anything that fit or could reasonably be modified to fit our core requirements.

Decisions. The number of decisions is enormous. This is both fun and angst ridden and some of the angst bit is my fault for being somewhat anal about things like lighting and HVAC. We're fortunate to have a good team (architects, interior designers, kitchen designer, lighting designer, landscape architect, and builder with a great sense of aesthetic). Even with their help it is a lot of work to get everything somewhat right.

Time. Even with a great team a custom build can require a huge amount of time and can be a full-time job itself. Some people tell their architect and others what they want and then turn that over to a builder and don't think much more about it until time to move in. Some of us are much more detail oriented and want to make sure things and little details are done correctly to our vision. This latter requires a lot of time and even more if budget is a concern and so requiring a lot more research and planning to avoid costly budget issues.

Stress. Building a custom home can be extremely stressful - even with the best of builders. Pressure to make decisions. Over budget surprises. 'This isn't what I thought X would be' surprises. Concerns when something isn't done to the same level of quality you expected. Extra demands on time that are required.

Money. Custom isn't cheap. But may still be a good value. The cost is worth it to use to get some functional things we want like all bedrooms having their own baths. Our house will hopefully function well for us and much better than cookie cutter suburban houses. We also value authenticity. We don't like the wealthy-in-the-front,-poor-in-the-back fake facades that are all over suburbs so it's worth it to have a house and neighbors houses that are authentically the same and appealing to look at on all sides.

Surprise Surprise Surprise. We'd hoped that choosing one of the top custom builders in our region would have helped eliminate budget surprises. He's use to building high end homes with high end finishes - that's all he does. We said up front that we don't like surprises and to give us a realistic budget and to assume that on levels of finish, lighting, plumbing, HVAC and other stuff that we'd be on the high end. Nope.

Plumbing fixtures came in double what he'd budgeted. His budget wasn't at all realistic for this type of house. We also know (from interior designer and Ferguson Plumbing Supply) that what we selected is in line with his other houses. This was both frustrating and disappointing. It was the first time we ever got a feeling that we couldn't 100% completely trust our builder. Lighting & electrical are triple. HVAC about 60% over.

I've heard similar from most others doing custom builds.

Money Part II. New suburban homes decline in value just like cars. This was not always the case and it isn't generally the case outside of the U.S. but it is with most homes in the U.S. built after about 1965. Firstly they lose about 5-20% of retail value the day they're completed.

Then about 7 years later they begin to decline again (in economics called a 'knee'). This decline is due to several issues including styles changing and people not wanting 7 year old styles anymore. Due to cheaper construction quality these houses are also beginning to show some wear & tear. Then piled on top is that at some point in the value decline the people buying in to the neighborhood don't take as good care of their houses and yards as former owners so the neighborhood begins to decline.

Recently this has all been made worse because buyers increasingly want traditional walkable/bikeable neighborhoods near local villages where they can safely and comfortably walk/bicycle to school, grocery, dinner, etc. This is causing an increasing downward pressure on resale values.

Result. Is it worth it in the end? Maybe. I think for many people it is not and they would have been much better off buying an existing home and maybe doing some remodeling over time. For some it is worth it. I hope it will prove worth it for us this time.

There are differing levels of rural to consider. Forty-five minutes north of us is very rural. We've driven across the Upper Peninsula which we refer to as "damn rural", almost bordering on wilderness, lol. We are 40 minutes from the nearest big city, yet less than 10 minutes from a Wal-Mart, restaurants, the hospital, businesses, etc. We have neighbors around us, but also lots of empty land and farmland. We live on a secondary main road, so it's well maintained in winter. It's a nice compromise.

Builders and Architects Need to Change? I strongly recommend against building new. Building a new home in The Netherlands or Sweden for instance, is a much different proposition than in the U.S. and we should perhaps be more like them.

Firstly, they have a much greater quality sense. They build houses that are expected to hold up well and last 200-300 years or more.

They are more concerned with quality aesthetics and they largely don't treat architecture like clothing with each year and decade a different fashion trend that will be out of style in seven years. They are also much less likely to have fake facades.

Their neighborhoods are human scale and designed for humans to live in, not primarily for machines (cars). Their streets are narrower and have less traffic and slower traffic. Their neighborhoods are built up around a central village so that people can walk/bicycle to the grocery or café rather than have to drive everywhere.

The result is not only better houses but also less/no value decline. A 10, 20 or 40 year old house is not out of style nor in need of major repair. The neighborhood around it is likely not declining and the people moving in take as good of care or better than previous owners.

Also, builders generally have a greater sense of pride in what they build and in who they are as a person. You don't hear stories of people feeling mislead as much.

This is all very different than the typical building experience in the U.S.

Virgil, I've seen your expert posts for years too. Thanks for responding. I'd value more input from you on topics beyond critters, but I'll gladly take your insight about ticks as being important! What's your opinion, as an architect, about building in systems to combat critters? I've seen insecticide drip/mist systems in the walls to counteract ants, spiders and termites. An external tank is refilled occasionally by a pest contractor. Theoretically it's less toxic when small amounts are used over time as a preventative than intense spraying. I would be hesitant to install something in the walls permanently that would be hard to maintain over time and possibly leak if a tube is punctured. I've also seen an outdoor misting system (installed under the eaves) to counteract mosquitoes and spiders (ticks too?) around the perimeter of the home. It sprays 3x at intervals overnight or you can manually activate it if you're prepping for an outdoor party during the day.

I dislike anything that looks "aftermarket" on a home because to me it screams "bad planning", so if a system like that would be worth it, I would want to plan it in from the start.

Lindacottonwood, I appreciate your perspective. Once you know what a custom home can do for your life, the poor design and cheap quality of mass-produced homes just can't compare! You are fortunate to have expertise in your family.

JB, Yes, location is key. Not too far from amenities, but not right next to your neighbors. Those places are hard to find. We've been looking! Proximity to good healthcare is critical too.

Opaone, Very good perspectives. Indeed, home value can fall for the reasons you mention. However, I consider that value drop "on paper" unless you're planning to sell fairly soon. If it drops enough, you could even petition for a lower tax bill possibly. I consider the daily value of a well-designed home as equally important, measurable value. You are absolutely right that making as many decisions ahead of time (and verifying pricing) are important. It sounds like your contract with your builder was written to transfer the risk of his budgeting error to your bank loan. Glad you're getting the quality you want finally. Keep me posted. I treasure your hard-earned wisdom.

Just saw your second post too about declining appreciation for quality in the US. I fear the challenge of finding quality craftsmanship any more. We've done a lot of remodeling and one phenomenon we've constantly had to battle is the poor workmanship of a relative of the true craftsman who comes along for "training" as an apprentice. Usually they spend most of their time looking at their phone, not truly interested in learning. When they are asked to help, the apprentice makes a mistake that then has to be redone. We've learned, sadly, that constant oversight is required. I've had to say, "shouldn't that be straight instead of crooked?" more times than I would like.

anitastadler, I don't have any experience with the sort of built-ins you describe. Perhaps others here may have...

What I do know, from my wife's experience and the experience of a former neighbor is that it's very foolish to encourage or allow deer to come close to one's house and the usable outdoor areas common to human activity...Lyme Disease is a pain.

Virgil, thanks for looping back. Sorry to hear about the experiences of your wife and neighbor. I understand that Lyme disease is tough to deal with. I've noticed that many homes in rural areas have an enclosed yard around the home with a wall or strong fence, presumably for that purpose, but it is low enough to preserve the view of their larger property from the second story. However, eventually you still have to venture out into the open area to service the property (or enjoy it!). I recently saw a photo of a TX home's pantry on a real estate site and it contained a case of DEET spray. That's truth in advertising!

I'm curious what has been most helpful for organizing your ideas as you planned. For our various remodeling projects, I always created a paper file folder of ideas in addition to saving electronic photos on my computer or online sites, like this fabulous one. After the project was complete, I kept samples of materials in a box for reference, and created a notebook with plastic sleeves to hold receipts, warranties, photos of packaging, and correspondence with vendors. During each remodeling project, I had a small portable file box with a handle in my car at all times with color samples of choices we'd made already. Other ideas?

My friend used an accordion file so she could put smaller samples in there, then had a tote bag that was like a crafters bags with lots of compartments she used for larger or heavier samples - it was pretty neat!

Thanks Debbi. As time went on, I had wished I had a rolling bag for my samples because they got heavy! My DH bought me a craft supplies storage case on wheels at Michael's that I think will work better in the future. Meanwhile, it holds crafting supplies!

What motivated you to build your custom home?

We just finished (well, mostly -- there's a bit of finish work still to do) our custom house project in June; we farm and my husband is also a builder -- he, our kids, and several apprentices did all of the work. It took us four years, in between farming, weather, projects for others, and several family emergencies.

We were motivated to build a custom house because we couldn't find any ready-made plans that would work for our circumstances and location/climate (western Canada, summers quite hot and getting hotter and more humid, and winters very long and very cold). The current house on the farm, a small 1950s bungalow, was built several kilometers away from the corrals, and the soil around that house is poor for growing anything (trees, flowers, vegetables); and with the lack of trees and a garden, the yard had no privacy from the acreages just south of our farm. We wanted the new house to be close to the corrals so that we could easily walk there in a few minutes to do daily chores or check on cows during calving season; we wanted more privacy and seclusion; and we wanted better soil for gardening. We'd planted several rows of shelterbelt trees around the area in the past 15 years in preparation for our building project.

We looked at a lot of plan books and online plans over the years but never found anything that would work for us without a lot of changes, and at that point we realized that with so many changes, it was silly not to do a custom build. We wanted to build the farmhouse that should have been here on the property originally, and we wanted it to seem like an older house, and we also wanted to "bring the outdoors in", with many large windows.

As Mrs. Pete wrote in her first post, "the things we want don't tend to be found all in the one house". Some features we wanted include a workshop attached to the garage, a granny suite over the workshop, a bathroom with shower in the garage, a washing machine near the workshop and garage for chore clothes, a mudroom area in the garage rather than in the house to keep most of the farm/gardening/building messes out of the house, a full bathroom with shower rather than powder room on the main floor by the garage entrance door, a large walk-in pantry by the garage entrance door, an open concept main floor without the kitchen, dining room, and living room being in one large square room.

What frustrations did you have to overcome?

Our build stretched over four years, and also because of our location, we weren't able to find an architect locally (and this was long before working remotely with a talented GW architect was a possibility) so found someone with design talent.

Also because of our location, and being a six-hour drive from the nearest big city, it wasn't always easy sourcing items. We made a lot of trips to the smaller city about 40 minutes away for casing and trim. I had to spend a lot of time online looking for everything from register covers (which I found online at Walmart dot ca of all places, since they had the best selection and best prices) to lighting fixtures.

What is most satisfying to you now that your home is complete (or will be soon)?

Pretty much everything : ) . It's the house that was meant to be here, and also has so many elements of the house I always dreamed of (even before moving to Canada and a farm lol) -- it drove me nuts for more than two decades that we lived in the country but had neither a front porch nor a back porch, and now we have (and use) both. We built the house around our needs and wants, rather than bending ourselves around an existing plan, which is what we'd done for 25 years in our old house.

I used a large binder, tote bag, and file box for organizing ideas and samples. I seem to recall a thread in this forum about various organizing methods, so it might be worth a search through the archives.

Apologies for nattering on at length. Good luck, anita!

Beckysharp, thanks for the detailed reply! You're so fortunate to have your husband's expertise and connections. The features you describe are so logical; pantry near garage, space to get clean before you track dirt in the house...etc. They should be standard approaches to floor planning in my mind. We looked at stock plans for years and almost every single one had illogical placement of something that would have required redesign.

Love your verbal imagery: "We built the house around our needs and wants, rather than bending ourselves around an existing plan, which is what we'd done for 25 years in our old house." So true. Humans are capable of incredible flexibility so we just adapt. Sometimes so much so that we don't realize what that flexibility is costing us in other ways. I'll look for the thread on organizing methods. Thanks and congrats on your build!

For your 3rd question...

Having a kitchen and dining space with so many windows. Can’t believe we lived in so many dark kitchens over the years. It’s still lit up as the low southwest sun angles in.

you’ll find the little things start to add up quick.

anita, here's one organizing thread,

https://www.gardenweb.com/discussions/4536214/staying-organized-with-selections#n=14

We looked at stock plans for years and almost every single one had illogical placement of something that would have required redesign.

We did the same for far too long : ) .

The features you describe are so logical; pantry near garage, space to get clean before you track dirt in the house...etc.

Definitely. Plus we also wanted to take into account that we grow and raise a lot of our food, and cook from scratch three times a day. I need room in the pantry not just for the usual things, but also for a large crock for sauerkraut, a cold room under the garage for storage of root vegetables and canning, etc. These aren't the sort of things that most stock plans need to take into account!

Humans are capable of incredible flexibility so we just adapt. Sometimes so much so that we don't realize what that flexibility is costing us in other ways.

I tell my husband at least once a week that life is so much easier and pleasant in this house. Especially having gone through the holidays, and hosted both Thanksgiving and Christmas here. It's almost like living in a luxury vacation house, but full-time : ) .

The other side of that luxury aspect -- a different sort of luxury, really -- is that the new house is so much easier to keep clean and to maintain, from being able to keep the mess out in the first place to easy-clean finishes.

Also, we would love a more rural setting, but we're not experienced at caring for a large piece of property. I would be interested in your perspective on that increased level of responsibility.

I can address this topic -- for good and bad:

- When you have property, you mow pretty frequently. Even if your side fields are not "kept nice", they still must be mowed once a month or so during the summer. You'll need to own a large mower ... preferably a small John Deere tractor (and you'll need an outbuilding for this large investment). If you let the fields go, you're going to end up needing to bushhog ... and since you probably won't own a bushhog yourself, you'll probably have to pay someone to do it.

- On a large piece of property, you may need a long driveway (because you probably aren't going to live on the edge of your property), which means keeping up your driveway yourself. Bringing in gravel /spreading gravel is a real chore, but once it's done well you're "set" for 10 years or so. Eventually, though, you'll need to "top off" your gravel. It'll dissipate, settle in, and eventually your driveway just won't be good any more.

- Trees will fall occasionally, and you'll need to be able to clean them up yourself. They can become firewood, of course. If you live on rural property, you're probably going to have a brush pile going all the time; that is, you'll pick a spot (away from trees) and throw all your tree trash -- limbs and such -- into that brush pile. You can throw old furniture on it too. Every couple years, you have a bonfire on either Halloween or New Year's, and that's a fun time.

- Sometimes people will come to your property and throw out trash. Or dead animals. Or live animals. And you have to deal with their mess. We're on a crossroads of two major roads, so perhaps we have more of this than most people.

- Sometimes you have to deal with trespassers -- especially people hunting without your property. Obviously you'll want to post signs, but not everyone obeys those signs.

- Yes to animals. Wild animals will show up; once, when I was a kid, we were terrorized by a pack of wild dogs for most of a winter. Finally we managed to get the Animal Control guy out at the right time. We always had 8-10 barn cats to keep the vermin down. Deer, yes. Coyotes, nasty creatures. Possums, raccoons, and more. How will they affect you? Most of the time they're no trouble -- but sometimes they choose to die right by your back door, some of them like your little dogs (meaning, they want to eat your little dogs), and they love to turn over your trash.

- Speaking of trash, services can be more difficult in rural areas. You may need to dig a well and have a septic tank, both of which require more attention than city water. You may not have trash service, or you may need to pay for private trash pick up. Roads may not be plowed when it snows, and internet /cell service may be sketchy.

- You will spend more time in the car. Popping out to the grocery store isn't as easy, so you'll want to plan your food needs /have ample storage. A visit to the doctor (much less a specialist) may require a drive, and you'll want to verify the availability of emergency services.

- All this really is more effort (and there's always something that needs doing) than living in a suburb, but the trade-off is that you can have a sprawling house, you can make noise, you have loads of parking, and you have privacy. But do consider seriously whether you want this lifestyle before you build.

I was spoiled with having plugs in the best places, security lights
all around and electrical conveniences I took for granted.

I'd like to hear more on this topic!

So we intend to let the four-legged pruners take care of much of it.You know you can RENT goats to eat ivy, etc.? Google it.

We knew the general area we wanted to live in. And also knew the general type of home we wanted.

Nope, nothing even close was available.

So we bought 5 acres and hired an architect recommended to us by a friend. Honestly we could NOT be happier. We have a one of a kind home that suits OUR needs on a property that WE chose.

The initial investment for our architect seemed a little overwhelming- then he turned around in the midst of construction and saved us the equivalent of his fee when sourcing windows. So win/win!!

You know you can RENT goats to eat ivy, etc.? Google it.

I could actually borrow from a friend if it comes down to it, but might end up needing some of the additional alertness depending on what the predator level ends up being. Hoping the prints I've seen thus far this winter are a neighbor's dog and not coyotes. Especially since Eastern coyotes have hybridized with the Gray Wolf and are more inclined to pack hunt.

Also, we would love a more rural setting, but we're not experienced at caring for a large piece of property. I would be interested in your perspective on that increased level of responsibility. I'm aware that brush needs to be cleared for fire safety periodically in most areas, and vector control can be an issue. What else? (Others chime in too please!)

I'm in Alberta, a six hours' drive north of the border and six-hour roundtrip to the nearest big Canadian city, so probably qualify as "damn rural" and then some. What state, and what part of that state, are you considering, anita? And how large would a large piece of property be? Because depending on the area and climate, there are different considerations for what could be involved.

Nearby neighbors can be incredibly useful. They, and their kids, can be hired for various jobs; they can also be a source of equipment to borrow or rent. They can also be a good source of things like composted manure for your garden.

We don't have trash service and there's no private pickup service available. Everything here has to be hauled to just outside the nearest town, to the transfer station and to the recycling center. You may want to consider a different type of vehicle, like a pickup truck, for more rural living; a truck is handy for hauling garbage to the transfer station, relocating trapped skunks etc., large amounts of gardening supplies, and so on.

The biggest difference I've found since moving here from Manhattan is the lack of easy walking in the winter. I have several pairs of traction cleats for ice and snow because, ironically, the warmer it is in winter, the more there's a problem with icy country roads (with the snow melting during the day and then freezing at night). If we get a big dump of snow, we find it faster to plow our roads ourselves, with our loader, rather than waiting for the county grader to come.

beckysharp, you continue to amaze me! You moved to "damn rural" Alberta from Manhattan, as in "a borough in NYC"? Talk about a change of culture! Now you're having to haul your own trash to a transfer station, and in Manhattan you could have had any of about 100 different country's cuisines delivered to your door in 30 minutes!

I love GW - so many interesting people!!!

You moved to "damn rural" Alberta from Manhattan, as in "a borough in NYC"?

Yes, that one, Anglo : ) -- I had a view of the Empire State Building from my office. But after a childhood spent reading and re-reading the Little House books and the Anne of Green Gables series, I wasn't about to give up the chance to live on a farm, especially after my husband-to-be assured me that raspberries and lilacs do grow here.

Now you're having to haul your own trash to a transfer station, and in Manhattan you could have had any of about 100 different country's cuisines delivered to your door in 30 minutes!

Ha! The secret is that hauling trash -- and making homemade pizza (with Frances Mayes's great dough recipe) because there's no delivery -- aren't onerous at all. We keep one large bin for trash and one for recycling in the garage (there's no smell because all the food scraps go to the chickens, sheep, cats, and dog), and drop off the week's accumulations on the way into town for errands.

And there's so much that's possible for us here that wouldn't be in NYC. Including our new house, the garden, and my new greenhouse (a few short months away from construction)!

I love GW - so many interesting people!!!

Ain't that the truth!

whaas_5a, your kitchen ambiance sounds wonderful. You sound very happy in your home. Thanks for sharing that image.

Mrs Pete and Beckysharp, thank you for the extensive information. I would actually enjoy adjusting to the life you describe, but since this will be where we will live out our years, we need to be realistic about what we can take on. We're not looking for that rural of a setting, mostly because being close to medical care is a higher priority. Having neighbors close enough to really get to know them will be important, not just for help, but because we want to be part of a community.

I just shared your posts with my DH and he likes the idea of the John Deere tractor, and added, "I'd have to have all the accessories for it too." He loves tools. I'd love for him to be able to have a real workshop. Funny story: when I had been with my company for 25 years I had the opportunity to select a gift from a catalog to commemorate the milestone. I really didn't need anything they offered, but there was one item that I thought he might like. I pointed to it and asked him if he would like to have it. He said, "What man wouldn't want a drill press?"

Location is still being determined. I might start a separate thread on that, just to keep this one more focused.

Angelazuill, what a great story about your architect. I have tremendous respect for the profession. Congratulations on your home!

Some thoughts on rural or pseudo rural...

Most people do not do well mentally when they live in more rural or even outer ring suburbs.

- Loneliness and lack of routine interaction with others is believed to be the leading cause of the higher stress and higher suicide rates in both rural and suburban areas though predominantly in rural.*

- Suburban areas get two additional bits including high stress caused by traffic and low levels of daily physical activity.

- The lowest stress and best mental health are people who live in a moderate sized town or city, who know their neighbors and interact with them frequently, who spend less than 20 minutes per day in a car and who walk or bicycle for some or all of their local transportation.

- This begins to reverse itself in some larger cities where mental health problems can increase somewhat.

* When normalized for relative income and family circumstances (e.g., married to first spouse are much less like to have mental health problems regardless of location). There is also a bit of an exception for people who grow up in rural areas and are naturally adapted to that lifestyle.

Ghatta, thanks for commenting. We all need to plan for ADA I think.

Opaone, the data is compelling. Thanks.

"I consider that value drop "on paper" unless you're planning to sell fairly soon."

Yes, it's on paper today. But some years down the road, whenever you do decide to sell, that paper loss becomes an actual loss. The wealthiest 1-2% may be able to sustain that loss without much difficulty but for the rest it's putting a significant strain on their finances and marriages.

(On the plus side it's causing many to choose to stay in their homes rather than take the loss which increases neighborhood stability. Unfortunately not enough are doing this so those who stay are seeing the neighborhood around them decline.)

The increasing desire of people, especially young families, to live in more traditional communities (E.G., pre 1900) centered around a walkable (and bikeable) central village/shopping area is putting increasing downward pressure on the used home markets in many suburbs and exurbs.

The amount of money spent on a house is a lot to risk given market predictions.

I have a dream, to build a complete energy independent house,

for this you need to think very well about the project

We built custom because there were no homes available (size and features we wanted...large floor to ceiling windows in just about every room of the house) on the type of land we were looking for. I desperately wanted privacy and I was so so tired of the typical subdivisions where you’re on top of your neighbors and every home looks and feels basically the same. Even many of the upscale neighborhoods with large lots and custom homes just didn’t suit us. We didn’t need neighborhood amenities and had no desire for a “showy” community). In addition , we were finished with HOA’s (I can see the value of them, but I didn’t want to have to ask permission every time I wanted to plant a flower.

I wanted to be able to look out every window of my home and not see another house and also have enough land that if the surrounding area was clear cut of every tree, we still would be private and have only nature as our view. BUT (and this was a big but, it could not be in the boonies. We wanted property very close to everything (grocery, mall, restaurants, drug stores, airport, etc.). And another absolute requirement was that the lot was situated in such a way that the main living areas (which I wanted in the rear of the house) faced south (but also with open east and west exposures). I need sunshine and bright cheeriness flooding my home all day long, so even though we needed trees on the perimeter of the property for privacy, we also wanted the building pad to be fairly open so sunlight would be able to flood the interior spaces. So, finding a suitable (and affordable) lot was the tough part.

We finally found pretty much exactly what we were looking for....almost 7 acres surrounded by trees (privacy!) but with a fairly clear open area for building. It is in a “subdivision” but there are only 7 lots (all with decent acreage). There also is an HOA, but I am the VP so no problems there :). It’s gated which is nice, but does not have the feel of the typical gated community....much more relaxed. And.....the grocery store (as well as a bunch of other stores) is 3 minutes up the road and “civilization” (the mall and restaurants etc.) are a 10 minute drive. There are also a bunch of other subdivisions very close by along with elementary, middle, and high schools....so there is not that feeling of isolation. Perfect setup for us.

Now, as far as the building process goes, hoo boy, it was not without its problems. We’ve built several times before....and it’s never been just pure joy (although each time I somehow thought it would be different because I had learned so much from the previous build....that was not reality though). I’m glad it’s over. Making so many decisions in such a short period of time hurt my brain and having to babysit and nag my builder was a pain and nuisance that I didn’t enjoy.

We’ve been in the house almost 6 months. Was it worth all the pain and suffering? Not quite ready to say yes to that yet....still need a little distance between the building trauma and our move in date. But i am truly enjoying the house and setting....I’m sitting here this morning and enjoying watching the birds from my comfy window seat. The sun is streaming in all my windows and doing exactly what I anticipated ......flooding the house with light. And I’m sipping a delicious cup of coffee to boot...so it’s definitely getting closer to being worth it. A few more months and I think I’ll be there. This is it though, we will NOT be building again :)

Link to Our build

nidnay, thank you for sharing your experience. Your home looks serene and I love hearing that you enjoyed it so much this morning. Your requirement to have space between you and the neighbors, but with views of green trees and access to "civilization", is a tall order. That is exactly our set of requirements for location as well. We're not in a rush, are looking at multiple states, and can take time to find the right location. We can also take years to do the planning and design up front. Would you mind sharing where you built? I sent you a private message in case you would prefer to reply that way.

nidnay Your house is beautiful! The details and finishing touches are perfect. Well done!

shivece, thanks for showing that Christopher Alexander's concepts can be implemented to create the space people need. Love his books and glad you created that suggly sweater feeling space.