I knew a woman who only had three things she could eat - total - so she brought it/them with her wherever she went, of course.

I suppose if I was still as fussy as I was as a child, I might bring my version of some dish to a family meal where people would know me and feel free to tease me about my fussiness.

Otherwise, no.

it depends who it is...

if its my sisters, then i would bring what i want... they would be like "absolutely"!! they could not care less. we meal plan anyway and have 2 kinds of cranberry sauce as it is... our "rule" is - "this is the menu, if u want anything else, bring it"

anybody else, no way!

Some people are actually *clueless*, so it could happen...if you're dealing with a clueless person.

No. What is the " wrong" kind for you might be the " right" kind for them.

No, I would not bring another cranberry sauce. It is insulting to the host/hostess that their cranberry sauce is not good enough for you. If you truly dislike theirs, don't have any. I doubt anyone will even notice it is not on your plate.

My MIL would have so no, I wouldn’t. LOL. She used to show up with 2 or 3 dishes and 4 pies for my little dinner party for 5, which I had cooked all day for.

When invited to a party or a dinner I usually ask what can I bring? Or I would say, ‘I would love to bring my special cranberry relish if you think it would complement your menu?’ I would never bring just one serving of anything, always enough for everyone to share.

This reminds me of friends that we have. When I had my second home, we would invite them on occasion to spend a weekend. I don't recall them asking, but they would come with complete side dishes.

H is a really good cook. But.....I could not help but feel that my offerings were not good enough and so J (her husband) probably wanted to have his favorites. Yes, I know them well enough to know it was him not her!

It wasn't a deal breaker, but I still.......

Suck it up! I am sure there will be enough for you to eat.

If an invitee says they want to bring bring something to a dinner (or a visit), I'll suggest wine. Someone who consistently brings cooked dishes without first asking wouldn't see return invitations.

I'm a firm believer of either eating what is offered of stirring it around enough that no one is aware that you are not eating much. If one has significant health issues that require special food, I think it would be fine to ask, while being invited, if it would be okay to bring ones own special food so as not to be a problem for the cook.

I have an 85 years old cousin, who together with her 65 year old daughter, is hosting Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Her granddaughter (daughter of the 65 year old), sent her a letter (no computer, no email) saying what she was going to bring some of the food. Well, I got a phone call from my cousin and she was fit to be tied - how DARE her granddaughter think she could still cook the meal (did I mention she now cooks sitting on the seat of her walker since her osteoarthritis is so bad?), and besides that, she's not a "good cook".

I told her she was crazy and that I'd welcome anything others brought, even if it was swill - I wouldn't have to actually eat it. Nope - she was in such a tizzy that she was going to cancel the invitation to her granddaughter, husband and her great-grandchild.

Yes, she is a very difficult, crotchety, stubborn old woman, but I do love her dearly.

No. Just don't eat it.

With our extended family, we tease each other about the canned jellied stuff and someone always brings it. We have a fresh cranberry salad that has been in the family for over 80

years And most grew up eating it. But, that’s all family. Never would I do that to anyone else.Rude,rude, rude,!

I would NEVER.

I don't entertain in my own home. But I do most if not all the cooking for my sister and mom when they host family parties. I cook everything except dessert. If people wanna bring something,I tell them to bring a dessert. If they bring anything else,I am ticked. My sister has a SIL who always wanted to bring her homemade potato salad,no matter what was on the menu. Lasagne, turkey, prime rib,didn't matter. She HAD to bring that gross, sickenly sweet potato salad. I don't know what her obsession with that dish was. It would sit there untouched by anyone except herself and then the leftovers were sent home with her. They are not on speaking terms now,so that is not a problem anymore. But it used to make my blood boil.

If you want your own cooking than stay home and eat it or invite guests to your house.

I would be more inclined to bring my own stuffing since I like mine better than anyone else's lol.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Nope, never!

No, I wouldn't bring my own. If they served canned cranberry jelly rather than canned whole cranberry sauce, I would go without. I have no issue with canned cranberry sauce, just the jelly kind.

We bring whatever we want to our meals. We usually know what each want to bring and we are fine with that.

Sue

Martha, I'm curious. Are you asking because you'd like to bring your own, or are you asking because someone does that to you when you host? And no, I wouldn't take my own cranberry sauce unless I was specifically asked to.

I wouldn't bring my own food unless I had some sort of food allergy/sensitivity I had to be careful about.

Cranberry sauce is such a small part of the traditional Thanksgiving meal, that it should be plenty easy to get more than enough food and variety to eat without having to bring one's own sauce.

This reminds me of a Thanksgiving my mother hosted. She'd invited a family with two little girls. Our table was laid with fine china, crystal, linens, silver, candles, etc.

The family arrived, proudly bearing something the youngest girl had made at Brownies. They were 'place card holders' -- giant raw sweet potatoes, with a slot cut into them for the cards

I was the only one who saw my mother roll her eyes as she added these little beauties to her table.

That's a great example of being a gracious hostess, chisue. Those potato place cards may not have fit in with the beautiful table, but I'm sure it made the little girl happy to see them used.

Oh good lord eat your cranberries when you get home!! The only acceptable thing would have been as suggested ealier. When you were invited that was the time to say "What can I bring" or Can I bring____" .

We have a bunch of "littles" in out family, mostly girls, and they are always encouraged to make placecards or table decorations for holiday meals :-)That's their contribution to the festivities!! I was cleaning out a purse the other day that I hadn't used for awhile (so that's where my second set of keys was hiding!!) and discovered last year's place card, that I saved - just a simple folded over cardstock with my name carefully printed on the outside and thoughtfully decorated! LOL! But the best part was the joke it contained inside, also carefully printed out in a 5 year old hand: Why did the turkey cross the road?? Because the chicken was on his Thanksgiving break!!

I think their grandfather - my brother - had a helping hand in these......he is the family master of the bad joke!!

I tell wherever I go that I can't eat most of what's on the table and I tell them that the easiest thing for me would be to bring what I can eat. I don't go out very often however. LOL I wonder why. (This could be why I don't have real friends just online ones. Maybe I should change my name to gauche. ;-)).

From Yeona lonely in Vancouver.

Yeona,

There is nothing wrong with what you do, it is a different situation than the one the OP posed. You are not gauche, you propose bringing what you can eat, not what you want that is different from what the hostess cooked.

I wonder if you could get a 'lunch club' together of people who have similar diet restrictions to yours and eat lunch together once a week at a restaurant or each other's homes?

Sending you a cyberhug, Yeona!

I can't stand the stuff, so definitely would not bring any. :-)

No. Never. Just eat it and say how good it is.

yeonassky - I already make the vegetarians bring a dish that they will eat and I'm already making sure that the Celiac can eat a couple of things so, I'm on the North Shore and you can come for dinner and bring whatever your little heart desires! :)

Rhizo -- no was not asking for myself but it has come up as a discussion over the years. People with bad form not asking to bring anything but wanting to make sure that there Thanksgiving has the "right" cranberry sauce and bring their own -- usually it's the jellied canned variety rather than homemade which was brought by a guest. I like fresh homemade but I've eaten the other and not said a word when I've been a guest.

I was brought up to southern propriety and it would be rude to ask if you could bring something . You imply the person cant supply an appropriate an meal for guests. You are asked, you bring your own sweet self ready to do your best at dinner conversation and some nice flowers for the hostess who will put them in the kitchen or some hallway side table, absolutely not on the properly laid table. You should warn your hostess of any food issues.

I once had a guest bring a girlfriend along extra and she brought a pie and insisted we eat it for dessert. This is akin to people bringing wine and expecting it to be served at the meal. As if I hadn't made a dessert and wouldn't have carefully chosen my wine?

Ack - the Thanksgiving meal is behind us. Now to obsess over Christmas.

Quick description: guest you should not have invited:

Brinks own cranberry creation and loudly announces it is the 'best' while hostess is setting out her own cranberry dish made with her beloved grandmother's recipe

Wears a ton of perfume

Has food needs/issues not mentioned until after arrival

Brings 'purse' dog 'she won't eat much'

Discusses abortion, God, and (disapprovingly) women's suffrage

Pulls out a pack of Camels at the dinner table and uses the hostesses antique silver salt cellar as an ash tray

Has obviously not bathed in a couple of days

Asks the person seated next to her to walk the purse dog because she noticed he had finished his salad course and she was still eating, tries to tip him $1 when he returns

Asks the hostess to pack a food care package when she leaves and specifies what food she wants to take home with her.

Thank you so much for the cyber hugs chisue.

Thank you blfenton! That was very sweet of you.

I am okay really. I am just painfully shy sometimes and have health issues.

Anyone who can make a straight path to a social situation you don't know how lucky you are!

Well, I just usually ignore the cranberry sauce. There were so many good things at our Thanksgiving spread yesterday it was impossible to try everything. Although that sauce did look good...

Seriously, I didn't even make it to dessert. (It was a community pot luck.)

But if it has been at a private home, I'd have eaten some, even if it were from the can. (I do draw the line at marshmallow anything, and people do tend to know I can't eat most tree nuts.)

Never in a million years!

Bringing a cranberry sauce or any dish, for that matter, strikes me as being in the spirit of the Original Thanksgiving. Wasn't that just a big pot luck dinner?

Aw, yeonassky, I would be your friend in a heartbeat. Food wouldn't even have to be involved as it's the company that's most important. Sending you a giant hug.

My mother was southern, but I'm not southern enough to think if rude if a guest asks me if there is something they can bring. At my age, I often take them up on their offer and suggest bringing an hors d'oeuvre or rolls/bread etc. I don't think it is appropriate to just show up with a dish for the dinner table - that is a bit presumptuous.

For a couple of years, I belonged to a "supper club" at our church. We were all assigned to groups. Whomever was hosting the group was to provide the main course, and the other 3 couples were to each bring something. I didn't like that idea so I just asked them to bring dessert or hors d'oeuvre. One can't have too much of either and it doesn't affect the dinner.

Usually if someone asks me if they "can bring something" I'll respond thet there is no need to. If they ask again and make a specific suggestion about what they want to bring I would respond, "That would be great, I appreciate it."

In this specific instance if someone had merely showed up and brought their favorite cranberry sauce, I would accept it in the spirit it was intended. Especially since with all the other dishes I usually would be preparing, my cranberry sauce is usually the stuff from a can.

NO. I would graciously eat whatever they serve. Mind you, I never eat cranberry sauce no matter who makes it. ;)

Hey Yeonna, have you ever looked at the meet-up groups in your area? I wish there had been such a thing when I was younger as I was also painfully shy. A nephew who is new to the area started using them to meet people and to find something to do, and I can see a change in him as he is less shy than he used to be. There are groups for all kinds of interests and conditions, as i understand it. I wish you well.

Erin

Thank you for your concern Erin and Dolly. Please don't worry. I have social connections just not friendships. I forgot to say that my sister and my husband double as friends which means I have 2. :-).

This thread just brought home the dining out with friends chasm between me and most others but everyone has their chasm. I'm lonely sometimes but filled with family and work lots of times.

If I were isolated without even a family I would definitely try those things Erin. Thank you for the suggestions!

I wouldn't do it, but I wouldn't give it a second thought if someone else did. I am just not wound that tight, I guess.

When my work group gets together at the boss' house, even though he's already supplied the entire spread, inevitably, people bring something. It might be wine, sure, but it might be food. And it's seen as sharing, nothing more. I see your request in the same light. You wanted to bring a piece of you to share. So I'm less inclined to think of it as rude. Merely one thought on the matter.

In our family, no one would be upset by someone bringing something extra. Our get-togethers are always potluck.

I am with Joanmn on our meals too. I have never been invited to a meal where the hostess fixes it all! It is always a pitch in and usually whatever you want to bring. They might ask what you are bringing or not. We had two cranberry dishes at our Thanksgiving. I took one and Granddaughter took one.

Sue

All our holiday dinners are the same as above - no one hosts a dinner where no one else brings anything. We just have too large a family, LOL. The host would collapse. :-) Even my social dinners are always those where we are welcomed to bring dishes. I honestly cannot remember when I was invited to dinner at someones home, where I did NOT make something to take. I think it's probably just a very different type of social circle. I just don't live in the circles that do more formal-type dinners.

That said, if I did get an dinner invite from someone, that I had never received before, I would certainly ask before I would presume that I should make something.